NBC Nightly News Show Notes--4/7/12 Through 4/13/12 (Revised--Full Week)

Here's some of the great stuff you may have missed on Nightly News this week:

Sat. April 7--In an obituary for artist Thomas Kinkade, the idiotic Nightly News producers actually managed to spell his name wrong.  As weekend anchor Lester Holt introduced the story, a graphic over Holt's left shoulder read "Thomas Kinkaid [sic] 1958-2012".  They misspelled his name in his own obituary!  Appalling--but hardly surprising.  Nightly News broadcasts are rife with spelling, grammar, math and factual errors.  Can you imagine ABC or CBS misspelling Kinkade's name?  I can't.  Apparently, the Nightly News producers are too busy concentrating on promoting NBC's sports and entertainment programming to bother checking their spelling.  I guess they have their priorities.
***Speaking of which, the final story of the night was a two-and-a-half minute "news story" about the 50th anniversary of the film version of "To Kill A Mockingbird".  Why on earth would a news broadcast commemorate the film version of a famous book, rather than the book itself (Harper Lee's book was published two years earlier)?  It doesn't make any sense.  But of course, as is the case with virtually every story that airs on Nightly News, there was an ulterior motive.  In this case, Lester rabidly plugged Saturday's USA Network screening of "Mockingbird" for one reason only--because USA is owned by Comcast/NBC Universal.  Of course, Holt never mentioned this to the viewers.  Neither did he mention that "Mockingbird" was released by Universal Pictures, also a Comcast/NBC Universal company.  He intentionally withheld this information to try to trick the viewers into believing that this was an actual news story, rather than a shameless plug.  So this story amounts to a two-and-a-half minute commercial for an NBC Universal film which will be airing on an NBC Universal TV network.  That is just sleazy.  Holt and his producers should be ashamed of themselves.  But of course they're not.  Their main job at all times is to relentlessly promote NBC properties.  It doesn't bother them in the least that their broadcast constantly ignores real news in order to self-promote.  Well, what do you expect--weasels will be weasels.  Meanwhile, this month PBS is airing an excellent "American Masters" episode called "Hey Boo: Harper Lee and 'To Kill A Mockingbird'".  But of course Holt never mentioned it because PBS is not owned by Comcast/NBC Universal.
Sun. April 8--A redrawing of the border between North Carolina and South Carolina may result in some SC residents discovering that they actually live in NC.  Wow!  This piece of fluff was given 2:20 of valuable news time on Nightly News.  Thanks.
***Next, John Yang took 2:25 to tell us that U.S. auto sales were up.  This story could have been reported in 30 seconds.  Nightly News makes a habit of stretching out trivial, stale stories to fill time instead of reporting on relevant issues.  That's a great way to run a news broadcast.
***The final story of the night was one for the ages.  Ostensibly it was about product placements in the new James Bond film (and in other films).  Sixty-four percent of this story (96 seconds out of 2:30) was made up of clips from James Bond movies.  There were also additional clips from "E.T.", "Risky Business", and "Wayne's World"--bringing the total percentage of film clips that made up this story to a whopping 72%.  This is the seventh time in the past three weeks that Nightly News has devoted an entire story to a movie or movies.  On March 16, they did a two-minute story on "The Hunger Games".  The next day, they devoted 2:45 to a story about "The Godfather".  On March 23, it was another "Hunger Games" story, this one ran 2:20.  On April 1, Nightly News did a 2:15 story about the 80's nostalgia trend in current films.  On April 5, it was a 2:15 report about the thriving Miami film and TV industry.  And on April 7, they spent 2:30 shamelessly promoting the USA Network showing of "To Kill A Mockingbird".  If you add in tonight's James Bond story, that means that Nightly News has spent 16:35 on movie stories in the past three weeks.  That's an appalling waste of time for a news broadcast.  So why is Nightly News spending so much time reporting on movies?  The answer is obvious.   People like seeing stories about movies and TV shows, so these stories keep viewers tuned in.  And if people stay tuned in, it boosts the ratings.  So all these movie stories are just a ratings ploy by Brian Williams and his producers.  Keep in mind that in addition to all these stories solely about movies, Nightly News regularly peppers its other stories with clips from movies and TV shows as a further enticement for entertainment-starved viewers (Nightly News's recent stories about the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic naturally included clips from various Titanic-themed movies).  Another reason to do these stories, of course, is to promote Universal movies (both new releases and DVD's of old movies) and soundtracks.  For example, the "Hunger Games" soundtrack was released on a Universal label.  And the possibility certainly exists that the NBC sales & marketing department is actually selling these movie stories to the studios as part of ad packages.  For a set fee, the studio can buy a certain number of commercials plus a contrived news story about their film that will air on "Today", Nightly News or both.  Movie studios would no doubt jump at the chance to buy this sort of publicity masquerading as news coverage.

But the most hilarious aspect of the James Bond story was that it was purportedly about product placements in movies (in the new James Bond film, Bond will drink Heineken beer in addition to his usual martinis).  The story featured film clips of products like Reese's Pieces (from "E.T"), Ray-Ban sunglasses (from "Risky Business"), Pizza Hut (from "Wayne's World") and BMW cars and Omega watches (from previous James Bond movies).  Do you actually believe that Nightly News didn't get paid for plugging these products?  A story about product placements was really just an excuse for Nightly News to insert more product placements and get paid for them!  And the irony of Nightly News reporting on product placements is thicker than frozen pea soup.  Brian Williams and his Nightly News correspondents insert product placements into their news stories on a regular basis!  Over the past few years, Nightly News has plugged these products: McDonald's (one of Brian's favorite companies to plug), Subway sandwiches, Bayer products (Bayer aspirin and Aleve), Heinz ketchup, Starbucks, Cheerios, Chevy, Chrysler, Walmart, Kraft, GlaxoSmithKline, Pfizer, Frito-Lay, Microsoft, Boniva, United Airlines, Pringles, and Smith & Nephew joint replacements.  Here are the details of these Nightly News product placements:

>7/18/07--Nightly News airs a story about Restless Leg Syndrome.  The sole purpose of the story is to establish the legitimacy of RLS because many doctors do not acknowledge it as a legitimate medical condition.  One of the main drugs used to treat RLS is Requip, a frequent Nightly News advertiser at the time (Requip was specifically mentioned in the story).  And in addition to their regular advertisements, Requip (manufactured by GlaxoSmithKline) sponsored nine Nightly News "Making A Difference" segments from April 2007 to January 2008 (the dates were 4/20/07, 5/25/07, 6/22/07, 7/6/07, 7/27/07, 8/3/07, 9/14/07, 1/11/08 and 1/18/08).  There is absolutely no doubt that the story on Restless Leg Syndrome was done as a special favor to Nightly News's pals at Glaxo as a way of saying thank you for all that Glaxo ad money.
>11/13/07--Brian Williams anchors Nightly News from a Chrysler plant in Detroit.  This broadcast is a thinly-disguised 30-minute commercial for Chrysler, a frequent Nightly News and NBC advertiser.  At the end of the broadcast, Brian interviews Chrysler executive Jim Press.  Brian's "interview" is made up of softball questions that allow Press to talk about how great Chrysler's cars and trucks are (Brian even gets in on the act of praising Chrysler products: "This is going to make some buyer somewhere very happy.").  Less than three months later (2/5/08), Chrysler sponsored the entire Nightly News broadcast.  An obvious example of quid pro quo.
>1/31/09--A story about 3-D ads during the Super Bowl prominently features Lifewater beverages--a product that advertised on the following day's Super Bowl.  On NBC.
>2/23/09--Nightly News features a report about how thoroughly United Airlines cleans its planes.  United is a frequent Nightly News advertiser.  This story is just a big thank-you from NBC to United.
>5/5/09--Nightly News airs a "news story" about McDonald's new gourmet coffees.  McDonald's is a major advertiser on Nightly News and other NBC Universal shows.  Ann Curry introduces the story by calling McDonald's coffee a "delicious brew".  More than a third of this story is comprised of excerpts from McDonald's commercials and interviews with McDonald's spokespersons.  This story is simply a commercial for McDonald's new gourmet coffees.  (So as not to offend another sponsor, Nightly News also gives Starbucks lots of good publicity in the story.)
>5/12/09--A story purportedly about FDA assertions regarding Cheerios' health claims ends up becoming a fawning two-minute promotional message for Cheerios.  The report intentionally minimized the FDA aspect of the story and instead spent most of its time promoting the positive attributes of Cheerios.  This was Bazell's first line: "It is one of America's iconic products--Cheerios."  Well, that certainly set the scene.  We were then shown 20 seconds of Cheerios commercials while Bazell tells us that, "Soluble oat fiber--a key component--can help reduce cholesterol."  In other words, Bazell just made the very claim that the FDA had expressly forbidden General Mills from making.  He then briefly interrupts his Cheerios love-fest to mention the FDA reprimand: "A letter from the FDA to General Mills, the manufacturer, says that the health claims have gone too far.  The big problem is those claims about how much cholesterol can be reduced in how many weeks.  They are repeated on the box.  The FDA says those are drug-like claims that can only be made after studies have been submitted to the agency and approved."  So rather than acknowledging that General Mills made inappropriate claims, he chooses to defend the claims as if they were mere technicalities.  As Bazell says this, he was sitting at a table with a bowl of Cheerios in front of him, and at least six boxes of Cheerios neatly stacked next to him.  He looks like he is in a Cheerios commercial.  Actually, he is.  Bazell continues, "In a statement, General Mills said, 'The science is not in question and we look forward to discussing this with the FDA and reaching a resolution.'"  The science is not in question!  Bazell does not take issue with the General Mills statement--he simply accepts it as fact.  The General Mills statement also appears on screen alongside a pleasing graphic of a breakfast table with a bowl of Cheerios, a box of Cheerios and a glass of orange juice.  We then see a close-up of milk being poured into a bowl of Cheerios.  There is a brief interview with a doctor who says that three grams of soluble fiber is not really going to help you, but that it's better than eating something that's high in fat.  Bazell then twists this statement into, "Food industry experts say there is no question that Cheerios is a healthy product but the FDA seems to be paying more attention to the claims that companies make."  No question!  Bazell's commercial--I mean news story--ends with boxes of Cheerios going by on a conveyor belt, a slow pan down a box of Cheerios, and a mother pouring some Cheerios for her toddler.  Can anyone dispute that this is a product placement? 
>7/13/09--The entire Nightly News broadcast is sponsored by the University of Phoenix, an online university.  Four days later, Nightly News airs a report about Western Governors University (also an online university).  This story features a gratuitous plug for the University of Phoenix as well as a prominent graphic displaying their logo.  It seems apparent that University of Phoenix's July 13 sponsorship also bought them a plug on the July 17 broadcast.
>9/6/09--A story about search engines becomes a story about Bing.  Bing is a Microsoft product, and Microsoft was a former partner of NBC in MSNBC and current partner in MSNBC.com.  This story is just a plug for one of NBC's corporate partners.
>10/22/09--During a piece about women in the workplace, Nightly News spends 75 seconds profiling Jan Fields, the Chief Operating Officer of McDonald's USA.  The story gives her ample time to talk about things like McDonald's "world famous fries".  Ms. Fields is now the president of McDonald's USA--no doubt thanks in part to her ability to manipulate NBC News into allowing her to plug her greasy burgers and fries.
>2/4/10--Brian Williams reads a 30-second story about the great new Heinz ketchup packages (he also manages to mention McDonald's in the story).  This is just a plug for Heinz.
>3/17/10--Brian Williams reads a 30-second story about how Kraft Foods will be reducing the sodium in their products.  Another plug for a regular advertiser.
>3/19/10--Ann Curry (filling in for Brian Williams) reads a story about how Wal-Mart will be slashing their grocery prices.
>5/14/10--In part one of a two-part interview with Sally Field, Brian Williams spends the entire 90 seconds talking with Field about her Boniva commercials (at the time, Boniva advertised on Nightly News every night).  Three days later, in part two of the interview, Brian again mentions Boniva.
>6/8/10--Nightly News airs a report about an obscure Danish medical study that concluded that Aleve can reduce the risk of heart attacks.  Aleve (and its parent product Bayer) advertise on Nightly News every night. 
>6/10/10--Brian Williams introduces a ridiculous "news story" about whether or not Chevys should be referred to as Chevrolets.  Clearly, this is a two-minute-and-ten-second thank-you to the Chevy people for all the advertising dollars they have given NBC over the years.
>6/14/10--Lester Holt reads a "news story" about how Starbucks and McDonald's are now providing free Wi-Fi in their stores.  Interestingly, this is the second time Nightly News has paired these two companies in a fake news story whose sole purpose is to promote them as sponsors.
>6/22/10--Nightly News shows a 30-second clip of Jimmy Fallon playing Microsoft's new Kinnect video game.  Again, since Microsoft is a partner of NBC, this is just another plug for one of NBC's corporate partners (and a plug for Fallon's show, as well).
>7/2/10--A Nightly News profile of LeBron James includes clips from his McDonald's commercials. 
>7/21/10--Brian Williams contrives a "news story" about knee surgery in order to call attention to a new Nightly News advertiser--Smith & Nephew Replacement Knees.
>9/24/10--In one of the most egregious examples of product placement, a story on the diminishing use of credit and debit cards for food shopping begins with a couple in a Target store standing in front of a massive wall of Cheerios that was almost certainly assembled by the Nightly News producers just for this story.  We also see the couple walking through the aisles with the Cheerios box and the camera gets a clear shot as the box is scanned at the register.  The first 45 seconds of this story is a non-stop product placement for Cheerios.  (The last shot of the story is the mother feeding Cheerios to her infant.)  Cheerios is a frequent Nightly News sponsor and advertiser.  This story is a great big "thank you" to General Mills.
>10/27/10--Brian Williams reports an important story about how the Scott Paper Company is manufacturing tubeless toilet paper.  The story features plenty of ad clips from Scott products.
>10/31/10--A story on the end of the Pontiac brand is really just some free advertising for General Motors.
>11/4/10 and 11/5/10--Nightly News airs two virtually identical stories about a great new Spiral CT Scanner.  It just happens to be made by GE, NBC's then-parent company.
>11/9/10--The broadcast airs stories about the end of GM's Mr. Goodwrench ad campaign and the new ad campaign beginning for Planter's Mr. Peanut brand.  Both stories contain lots of ad clips.
>12/6/10--A story about the health benefits of aspirin is nothing more than a product placement for Bayer, a frequent Nightly News advertiser.  This "news report" begins with a five second clip from a Bayer commercial.  Then there are three close-ups of Bayer aspirin: A box on a shelf in a Walgreens, a pill in someone's palm and a bottle of Bayer.  No other name-brand aspirin is shown in the story, just generic or store brands.  Even an animated graphic of a bottle simply labeled "aspirin" is brown and yellow--easily recognizable as Bayer's traditional colors on their aspirin bottles and the main colors on their website.  Not very subtle.
>12/7/10--A story about how San Francisco is banning toys that come with children's fast food meals begins with a cute segment about a woman who collects Happy Meal toys.  The rest of this 2:30 "news story" (which was really just a commercial for McDonald's) contains clips of actual McDonald's commercials and non-stop footage of the McDonald's logo, restaurants and food.
>12/28/10--Brian Williams spends 30 seconds telling us the great news that Frito-Lay products will soon be "all-natural".  With the Frito-Lay logo behind him, he specifically mentions Tostitos, Sun Chips, Lays and Rold Gold.
>1/5/11--Brian Williams spends 30 seconds telling us that Starbucks will be changing their logo.
>1/17/11--Brian Williams announces that Starbucks will be introducing a new size drink called Trenta.  I guess Brian reports on Starbucks so often because he wants free drinks.
>1/20/11--Brian Williams tells us that Wal-Mart will be cutting prices on fresh fruits and vegetables and reducing fats, sugar, salt and trans fats in its store brands over the next few years.  This sounds like a press release written by the Wal-Mart marketing department.
>2/7/11--Nightly News does a three-minute rah-rah story about Chrysler's "Imported From Detroit" Super Bowl commercial (featuring Eminem) that aired the previous day (the story features 80 seconds of clips from the ad).  This was little more than a three-minute commercial for Chrysler.
>3/8/11--Brian Williams takes 30 seconds to tell us the important news that Subway now has more U.S. outlets than McDonald's.  So as not to offend McDonald's, he also tells us that McDonald's earns more money than Subway.
>4/5/11--Nightly News does a two-and-a-half minute "news story" about the Vermont Country Store.  This is a promotional story for a company that does $100 million in annual business.
>4/6/11--Nightly News airs a 2:05 story about Pringles.  This may be the most shameless product placement Nightly News has ever done.  Then again--probably not.  The story begins with Brian Williams plugging some of Procter & Gamble's brands--Tide, Crest and Pampers.  We are then shown clips from Pringles commercials--including one that featured Brad Pitt.  We get to see a Pringles-related clip from "Ally McBeal".  But mostly, we get to see Kevin Tibbles having a great time with Pringles.  Just like Brad Pitt!  There's Tibbles sitting with two cans of Pringles.  There's Tibbles with a math professor who explains that the exact shape of the chip is a hyperbolic paraboloid.  There's Tibbles holding a Pringles chip up to the camera.  Then we see some clips of other P & G products--Tide, Gillette, Oral B and Wella.  The story ends with 15 seconds of various closeup shots of Pringles.  And the very next night--surprise--a Pringles commercial airs on Nightly News.  I guess the Pringles people bought a combo news-story-and-ad package.
>5/9/11--Brian reads a 30-second "news story" about McDonald's great new redesign plans for their restaurants: "Mickey D's is spending over $1 billion to make their restaurants more chill, more comfortable, more laid back, more Starbucks than Mayor McCheese.  Look for wooden tables, muted colors and faux leather seats coming soon to a Mac's near you.  And you can get fries with that."  That's not a news story, it's a McDonald's press release. And it's shameless.  Notice how Brian slipped in a Starbucks mention, as well.
>5/18/11--Brian personally defends McDonald's against criticism from parenting organizations and nutritional advocacy groups that accused McDonald's of unfairly using Ronald McDonald to attract children to their high sodium, high cholesterol, high fat food.  In the story, Brian says that this criticism "seems a little harsh".  So much for anchor neutrality.
>7/26/11--Brian read this 30-second press release from McDonald's: "McDonald's said today that it's taking steps to make Happy Meals healthier.  The company is cutting the size of the french fry portion in half for starters and adding apple slices to every meal.  The new meals will have about 20% fewer calories--coming in at under 600 calories total.  First Lady Michelle Obama, who campaigns, of course, for better nutrition, put out a statement today calling this a good step."  It was clear that Brian and his producers mean to imply that Mrs. Obama was endorsing McDonald's--which, of course, she was not.  (As Brian read this, the McDonald's logo is onscreen for the entire thirty seconds, along with the words "Healthy Choices" and a picture of a Happy Meal.)
>9/20/11--Brian Williams takes 30 seconds to tell us all about Heinz's exciting new ketchup packages: "There's a new fast food staple coming our way after years of fighting with the old ones.  Heinz is out with a new vessel for fast food ketchup.  It's shaped differently, it opens differently, contains three times the amount of product in the old packets.  They're already being used at some Dairy Queens, Wendy's gets them later in the year--no comment yet from the really big players--McDonald's and Burger King."  The accompanying video shows plenty of promotional footage of people using the new Heinz packets.  (I'm surprised that Brian didn't conduct a live in-studio demonstration.)  Why does that sound familiar?  Oh yeah--it's because Brian already told us about the new Heinz packages on the 2/4/10 Nightly News.  I guess Heinz must have paid NBC News for two product placements.
>10/27/11--The lead story is about the health benefits of aspirin as a cancer-fighting drug.  This story is virtually identical to the 12/6/10 story on aspirin.  In truth, this is just another 2:40 product placement for Bayer.  Like the 12/6/10 story, this story features only one national brand of aspirin--Bayer.  All the other aspirin brands are generic or store brands like CVS or Sunmark.  The story also shows two vintage Bayer newspaper ads and just for good measure, it features an 8-second clip from a current Bayer TV commercial.  This story is a joke.  It is nothing more than a shameless way to plug Bayer aspirin.  And the fact that they showed it as the lead story is even more shameless. The message is obvious--buy Bayer aspirin and you won't get cancer.
>11/17/11--Right in the middle of a story about Congress's decision to categorize pizza as a vegetable, correspondent Anne Thompson takes a ten-second break to read a McDonald's commercial.  With a huge McDonald's logo next to her, Thompson tells us that, "McDonald's got the message--reducing french fries and adding fruit to its happy meals."  This has absolutely nothing to do with the story about pizza being a vegetable--it is just another opportunity for a Nightly News correspondent to shill for the Golden Arches.
>1/29/12--A story about fast food restaurants that stay open late is really just another product placement for McDonald's.  This story contains more than a minute's worth of gratuitous McDonald's footage--interiors, exteriors, franchise owners, customers, workers, food--and even includes an extended shot of correspondent Mike Taibbi standing in front of a McDonald's in a way that clearly displayed the McDonald's name and logo.  And just to make sure we didn't miss the point, Taibbi then tells us that, "McDonald's now has 40% of its restaurants open 24 hours--up from 30% seven years ago."  That statement--and the entire report--sounds suspiciously like a commercial.  Obviously, the Nightly News producers' goal in running this story is to inform the viewers that McDonald's has new extended hours so we should rush out later and get some of those delicious Big Macs, Quarter Pounders and fries.
>2/6/12--Brian spends more than two minutes fawning over the Clint Eastwood "Halftime In America" Chrysler ad that aired during the Super Bowl.  He calls it "a big, sweeping and impactful ad."  He shows us 45 seconds of the ad, including a 30-second continuous clip.  But don't let Clint Eastwood's appearance in the ad fool you.  Brian Williams is Chrysler's chief spokesman

Okay--I got a little sidetracked there, but the point is that next time the Nightly News producers have the nerve do a story about product placements in James Bond films (or any other films), they should keep in mind that Nightly News features more product placements than any other show on TV.
Mon. April 9--The lead story about the Trayvon Martin shooting was titled "Turning Point?"  Well, is it a turning point or isn't it?  They're supposed to tell us, not ask us.
***We got another idiotic story about the "Extreme Weather" from the idiotic Anne Thompson.  How many times can she do the same story?  Many, many times, apparently.  Several times during this story, Thompson mentioned NOAA (the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) without ever explaining what it is.  I have no doubt that after seeing this story, some viewers think the extreme weather is being caused by "Noah" (after all, he had to build an ark to escape the extreme weather).
***A story about the link between obesity in mothers and autism in babies is titled "Autism Link?"  Well, is there a link or not?  Are we supposed to guess?
***In yet another story about whether or not the Augusta National Golf Club will admit IBM CEO Virginia Rometty as its first female member, Brian described Rometty as an "avid golfer".  Every other news source has described her as an occasional golfer (Rometty has even described herself that way).  In her March 30 Nightly News story about Augusta, NBC News's Senior Investigative Correspondent Lisa Myers said Rometty "is said to play golf--though sparingly."  So Brian wasn't even close.  Another idiotic statement from the uninformed Brian Williams.
***Brian then told us about a pod of orca whales that came right up to a whale-watching boat.  What is the deal with Brian's whale obsession?  From September, 2011 through January, 2012, Nightly News aired eight stories about whales.  Now, apparently, they're starting again with the whale stories. 
***Brian ended the broadcast with his three minute tribute to Mike Wallace.  Kind of ironic, don't you think?  Wallace was defined by his propensity for asking tough interview questions, while Brian is known for the easy, non-threatening softball questions he asks his interview subjects.  Wallace was a newsman and a journalist, Brian is an entertainment anchor and carnival barker.  Wallace was interested in the story, Brian is interested in his image and his ratings.  Brian Williams is the anti-Mike Wallace.
Tues. April 10--In the lead story about Rick Santorum's withdrawal from the GOP presidential race, correspondent Ron Mott was not standing in front of a giant flag in his opening and closing live shots.  What?  Nightly News viewers demand an explanation.  We all know that every Nightly News correspondent who reports a political story MUST be standing in front of a huge U.S. flag.  The bigger the better.  It's an NBC News rule.  A giant U.S. flag is one of the best ways to pander to the viewers' rah-rah gung-ho sense of faux patriotism, so the producers never miss an opportunity to exploit the flag for ratings.  So where was Mott's flag?  To make matters worse, Mott was reporting from Gettysburg, Pa--a historic city.  I'm sure there is no shortage of flags in Gettysburg, so what was Mott's excuse?  He probably could have bought one in any of the city's gift shops.   Actually, he should carry his own emergency flag for times like these when there are no public flags to be found.  Mott better not let this happen again.
***Mott's story also featured a gratuitous clip of JFK.  This was the 17th time in the past six months that Nightly News has done a story about (or featured a clip of) John or Jackie Kennedy.  Obviously, Brian and his producers have identified JFK as one of those audience-pleasing subjects that boost the Nightly News ratings (like whales, for example).  As such, they make a point of inserting the Kennedys into news stories as often as possible.  It's certainly not a coincidence that we've seen this much of Camelot on Nightly News.  Rather, it's a calculated decision meant to achieve a specific ratings goal.  Ich bin ein panderer.
***In a report about George Zimmerman, Kerry Sanders could not seem to correctly read from Zimmerman's new website.  Sanders said, "On his welcome page, Zimmerman writes in part 'I was involved in a life altering event which led me to become a subject of media coverage.'"  Actually, Zimmerman wrote, "I was involved in a life altering event which led me to become the subject of intense media coverage."  Sanders changed one word and omitted another.  If you're quoting someone, you really do need to be exact.  And to make matters worse, the Nightly News on-screen transcript of Zimmerman's page omitted the word "me" from that sentence.  More sloppy work from Nightly News correspondents and producers.  By the way, Zimmerman's website uses an American flag as the background.  I guess he has something in common with the Nightly News producers.
***Every Nightly News story on George Zimmerman is followed by Savannah Guthrie's shallow, pointless analysis.  I guess they're trying to give her more exposure for when she replaces Ann Curry on "Today".  Here's how Brian introduced Guthrie's commentary: "WE'VE all seen too many cop shows--WE'VE seen those scenes where they're told to stay close, don't make any travel plans--you're a lawyer--how common is it to lose your client?"  As usual, Brian uses his favorite word ("we") because the news is always about Brian.  And it's hilarious that every time Brian introduces Guthrie, he makes a point of telling us that she's a lawyer.  Are we supposed to be impressed?  I think Brian's the one who is really impressed by someone who finished law school--because he never even graduated college.  And did you ever notice that when Guthrie gets to the end of her sentences, she sounds like she's growling?  What's up with that?
***Brian introduced a story about fires on the east coast by saying, "Now we turn to a clear and present danger in twenty different states along the eastern seaboard...."  Brian loves to use movie titles in his sentences, especially if the movies starred macho he-men like Harrison Ford or Clint Eastwood.
***Here's how Brian introduced Richard Engel's report about the North Korean missile launch: "Now to our exclusive reporting from inside North Korea..."  Exclusive?  Does Brian know the meaning of "exclusive"?  Every one of the several dozen foreign journalists reporting from North Korea this week reported the exact same stories.  They were all put on the same bus and they were all taken to the same sites and they all filmed the same things from the same angles.  So Engel's story was identical to every other reporter's story filed from North Korea.  The same day, I also saw a BBC World News report (on PBS) about North Korea and it was virtually identical to Engel's report.  And Brian certainly knows all this, so his description of Engel's report as "exclusive" is a blatant, intentional lie.  Brian frequently lies about the exclusivity of NBC News reports in order to make them sound more buzzworthy.  It's sad that a network news anchor would do that.  Shame on Brian.
***A story about overuse of dental X-rays was titled "X-Ray Risk?"  So is there a risk or isn't there?  Just tell us and stop playing these stupid games.  This story joins a long list of recent Nightly News stories with alarmist titles that are meant to scare us into watching.  Other recent examples include "Hidden Dangers?" (of lipstick--2/14); "Warning Signs?" (of autism--2/17); "Hidden Risks?" (of dirty surgical instruments--2/23); "Danger at Sea?" (cruise ships--2/29); "Silent Killer" (heart disease in women--2/25) and "Overmedicated?" (too much medication--3/19).  These silly titles sound like comic book stories or Lifetime Network movies.  Obviously, the titles are intentionally phrased this way to frighten viewers into staying tuned in.  Not only do these silly titles appear in the actual story, but Brian also announces them during the tease at the beginning of the broadcast.  That way, we have to watch most of the broadcast in order to find out about the "hidden risk" or "hidden danger".  Another unethical ratings ploy from Brian and his producers. 
***Next, we saw a story about a mini-baby boom in Los Angeles that is being attributed to last summer's Carmageddon (apparently, a lot of people just stayed home).  Brian began the story this way: "You may remember Carmageddon in L.A. last year...."  Well, you certainly do if you were a Nightly News viewer.  Last July, Nightly News reported eight silly Carmageddon stories in nine days.  It was a huge non-event, but that didn't stop Brian from hyping it like it was the biggest story of the week. 
***The last story was about the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.  Fair enough--it's a legitimate news story and the other networks also reported it.  Of course, for Nightly News this was just another opportunity to show a clip from James Cameron's "Titanic".  Funny thing--CBS also reported a Titanic story, but they were somehow able to do so without a movie clip.  I guess that's the difference between Scott Pelley and Brian Williams.  Pelley is interested in presenting news, while Brian is interested in presenting entertainment.
Wed. April 11--Once again, Brian found it necessary to inform us that Savannah Guthrie is a lawyer.  As part of his introduction to her banal analysis of the Trayvon Martin case, Brian said, "Savannah, you're the lawyer here, not me..."  Yeah, we know she's a lawyer because he tells us so every night.
***At the end of the third segment (!) on the Trayvon Martin shooting, Brian began a question to Ron Allen by saying, "Of course Ron, on behalf of all the good people of Sanford, Florida...."  Apparently, at least according to Brian, all the people in all the cities in all of America are "good people".  Is there any depth he will not stoop to in order to pander?  Pathetic.  Meanwhile, Allen's story featured some nice footage of Al Sharpton.  Did you know he has a show on MSNBC?  This story was followed by a 12-second promo for Trayvon Martin's parents appearance on the following day's "Today Show".  Real classy. 
***In a story about U.S. Rep Allen West's accusation that some House Democrats are communists, West said, "I believe there's about 78 to 81 members of the Democratic party that are members of the Communist party."  Unfortunately, the accompanying Nightly News on-screen transcript substituted the word "it's" for "there's".  When are the Nightly News producers finally going to understand that a transcript must be an exact quote, not an approximate one?  Whatever--they don't care.
***A story about Delta Airlines looking to buy its own fuel refinery began with Brian saying this: "It's kind of like McDonald's growing its own potatoes for french fries."  Once again, Brian has turned a news story into a plug for McDonald's.  In a story about Delta, he actually managed to mention McDonald's first.  That's dedication.
***When Brian began reading the last story, I thought I was still watching the "Extra" promo that always precedes the final Nightly News story of the evening.  We went right from hearing Mario Lopez talking about Howard Stern and Kim Kardashian to hearing Brian talking about Ashley Judd.  That's right--the last Nightly News story of the night was a three-minute piece on...Ashley Judd.  Because Brian is all about hard news.  And just in case you thought maybe the story had a sliver of redeeming value, it didn't.  It consisted of Judd ranting against all those people who claimed she had cosmetic work done.  Of course the 10-ton elephant in the room was Brian's own cosmetic surgery.  Not surprisingly, he never mentioned it.  Another thing he never mentioned: Judd's new ABC TV series "Missing".  Instead, Brian simply referred to "her new TV series", refusing to mention the series by name or network.  Brian has a policy of never, ever mentioning other networks or TV shows because he's afraid that could negatively impact NBC's own minuscule ratings.  If anyone forgot that Brian Williams is the most petty anchor on TV, this was a good reminder.  Oh--and by the way, as the story began, the words "Nightly News Exclusive" appeared on screen (and would appear two more times for a total of 27 seconds) despite the fact that Judd would also be appearing on that Night's "Jimmy Kimmel Live".  Another example of Brian lying about the exclusivity of a story.  So let's put things in perspective: On this night, Nightly News did not report a single story about Iran, Iraq or Syria.  They spent a grand total of 35 seconds on the Indonesian earthquake.  But they gave Ashley Judd three minutes to whine about being accused of having had cosmetic surgery.  Are we really supposed to take Brian Williams and Nightly News seriously?
Thurs. April 12--The lead story was about Hilary Rosen's comments concerning Ann Romney's lack of work experience.  Fair enough--it's a legitimate news story.  But after this story, we got an idiotic follow-up by the idiotic Chris Jansing that featured pointless comments from working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.  It was like reading stupid twitter posts.  And it had zero news value.  Even when Nightly News gives air time to an appropriate news story, they still can't help tacking on a completely meaningless story.
***After a story about Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman, it was once again time for Savannah Guthrie to state everything that is completely obvious about the case.  Surprisingly, Brian did not tell us that Guthrie was a lawyer.  Maybe she's been disbarred since Wednesday.
***We saw a very important story about people with long commutes.  Did you know that some people spend hours commuting to work?  One man in the story has a round-trip commute of 190 miles!  Golly.  The producers should have placed a "Breaking News" banner on this one.  Has Janet Shamlian ever reported a story with any news value?  Not that I'm aware of.  The story was titled "Going the Distance" and "Long Way Home".  Do you suppose that Nightly News actually pays someone to think up these stupid titles?  And I still don't understand why every Nightly News story needs two titles.  Too bad Shamlian didn't tell us about Brian's commute.  A helicopter picks him up at his penthouse apartment and whisks him to 30 Rock in about 7 minutes.  Nifty.
***Brian told us that unmarried couples are having children at a higher rate than in the past.  Oh, okay.  Thanks for the info.  I'm just glad Brian didn't waste our time with any trivial stories about Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan or Syria.
***Stop the presses!  There was a meteor visible in the night sky over the midwest!  Every time something is visible in space (or is threatening to fall on our heads from space), Brian reports it as if it was real news.  He has an obsession with outer space and since Brian gets to report on whatever he wants, stories like this somehow become newsworthy. 
***The final story of the night was about a 9-year-old boy from East L.A. who built his own arcade out of cardboard boxes and tape.  I actually liked this story.  The kid was cute and very innovative.  A filmmaker discovered the arcade and made a short film about the kid called "Caine's Arcade", which went viral and hepled raise money for Caine's college fund.  That's nice.  But how this ended up on a news broadcast is beyond me.  Isn't there a show called "Today" for just this sort of trivial fluff?  For a change, this story was given two titles--"Building A Dream" and "Step Right Up".  Maybe they should have given it three titles.  I would have called it "Arcade Fire", but what do I know?
Fri. April 13--During Brian's intro to the lead story about tornadoes, he said, "Beyond what the good people of Oklahoma are suffering through, forecasters are already warning of an extremely violent weekend."  I wonder if the good people of Oklahoma know the good people of Sanford, Florida that Brian told us about on Wednesday.  In this story, Brian spoke for 1:19 and meteorologist Greg Forbes spoke for 1:27.  That makes sense.  After all, I'm sure Brian knows as much about tornadoes as Dr. Forbes, the Weather Channel's expert on twisters.
***It had been a few days since we saw a pointless, repetitive story on climate change, so Brian trotted out Anne Thompson to tell us that part of the country is in a drought.  During this story, a farmer named Kevin Mitchum was identified in a Nightly News graphic as "Brad Rippey, USDA Meteorologist".  Later in the story, the actual Rippey spoke, but he was never identified.  I guess on Fridays, the Nightly News graphics department goes home early.
***A story about the increase in on-the-job deaths of police officers was given the title "Line of Fire".  It's nice that Brian reduces this serious subject to a Clint Eastwood movie title.
***Brian then told us about Pres. Obama's tax return.  Just wondering--when is Brian going to release his tax return?  I bet that Brian paid a lower tax rate than his secretary, butler or chauffeur.
***After telling us about the giant statues of Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il that were unveiled in North Korea, Richard Engel said, "You can't make this stuff up."  Why not?  The Nightly News producers  make stuff up all the time.  In fact, Engel himself has even been known to make stuff up.  On the 12/31/10 Nightly News, Engel reported a story about added security measures being implemented in and around New York City.  Engel told us that, "On the Hudson River...a barge and crane are...constructing a major anti-terrorism upgrade to New York's underwater subway line."  Actually, the NYC subway system does not go under the Hudson River to New Jersey.  The upgrade was to the PATH train, which is completely separate from the NYC subway.  No big deal--it was New Year's Eve.  Engel was probably drunk.  So go ahead, Richard, make up more stuff.  We don't care.
***Brian then told us that according to a NHTSA study, women drivers hit the wrong pedal more than men, but men cause more accidents.  Brian loves to report these types of stories that pit men against women.  On Jan. 30, he reported on a British study that concluded that women were better parkers than men.  On Jan. 23, he told us that men have a higher tolerance for pain than women.  Why does he insist on reporting these stupid, divisive stories?  Is it because he liked those Miller Lite "tastes great, less filling" ads of the 1970's?  I think he gets some sort of deviant satisfaction out of starting gender arguments.  Or maybe it's an indication that something's not right at home with Mrs. Williams.
***The final story was one that Brian described as "amazing" three different times.  Okay--we got it after the second "amazing".  It was about a couple who found out after they had been married for years that they both had ancestors who survived the sinking of the Titanic.  I must say that I was very surprised by this story.  I expected the producers to include a gratuitous clip of James Cameron's "Titanic", but instead, they included a gratuitous clip from the 1958 Titanic movie "A Night To Remember".  I guess the producers have a few tricks left up their sleeves after all.

NBC Nightly News Disrespects Thomas Kinkade, Plugs "Mockingbird" On USA

As Nightly News weekend anchor Lester Holt introduced Saturday's story about the death of artist Thomas Kinkade, a graphic over Holt's left shoulder read "Thomas Kinkaid [sic] 1958-2012".  They misspelled his name!  It is just appalling that the Nightly News producers cannot even manage to correctly spell Mr. Kinkade's name in his own obituary.  Appalling, but hardly surprising.  Nightly News broadcasts are rife with spelling, grammar, math and factual errors.  Can you imagine ABC or CBS misspelling Kinkade's name?  I can't.  Apparently, the Nightly News producers are too busy concentrating on promoting NBC's sports and entertainment programming to bother checking their spelling.  I guess they have their priorities.

Speaking of which, the final story on Saturday's Nightly News was a two-and-a-half minute "news story" about the 50th anniversary of the film version of "To Kill A Mockingbird".  Why on earth would a news broadcast commemorate the film version of a famous book, rather than the book itself (Harper Lee's book was published two years earlier)?  It doesn't make any sense.  But of course, as is the case with virtually every story that airs on Nightly News, there was an ulterior motive.  In this case, Lester Holt rabidly plugged Saturday's USA Network screening of "Mockingbird" for one reason only--because USA is owned by Comcast/NBC Universal.  Of course, Holt never mentioned this to the viewers.  Neither did he mention that "Mockingbird" was released by Universal Pictures, also a Comcast/NBC Universal company.  He intentionally withheld this information to trick the viewers into believing that this was an actual news story, rather than a shameless plug.  So this story amounts to a two-and-a-half minute commercial for an NBC Universal film which will be airing on an NBC Universal TV network.  That is just sleazy.  Holt and his producers should be ashamed of themselves.  But of course they're not.  Their main job is to relentlessly promote NBC properties.  It doesn't bother them in the least that their broadcast constantly ignores real news in order to self-promote.  Well, what do you expect--weasels will be weasels.

Meanwhile, this month PBS is airing an excellent "American Masters" episode called "Hey Boo: Harper Lee and To Kill A Mockingbird".  But of course Lester never mentioned it because PBS is not owned by Comcast/ NBC Universal.

NBC Nightly News Show Notes--3/31/12 Through 4/6/12 (Revised--Full Week)

The big story this week wasn't on NBC News, it was about NBC News.  NewsBusters.org reported that NBC News selectively edited some of George Zimmerman's 911 tapes to make it appear that Zimmerman's shooting of Trayvon Martin was racially motivated.  The tapes were edited to make it seem as if Zimmerman volunteered the information that Martin was black, when in fact he only gave that information after being asked by a 911 dispatcher.  NBC News pretended to be shocked by this revelation, much in the same way that Capt. Renault professed to be shocked that gambling was going on in Rick's Cafe in the movie "Casablanca".  Meanwhile, NBC News failed to take any decisive action.  The total fallout from the story was the dismissal of a single NBC News producer, and neither Brian Williams nor any other Nightly News anchor ever mentioned this egregious display (much less apologized for it) on Nightly News.  (Read the New York Times report on the story at http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/06/nbc-fires-producer-of-misleading-zimmerman-tape/.)

Here's all the other great stuff that happened on Nightly News this past week:

Sat. March 31--The lead story was the "mystery" over who the three winners were in the Mega Millions $640 million jackpot.  This is what passes for news at Nightly News--and the lead story, no less.  The story included a clip from the movie "Funny Farm", because the Nightly News producers are incapable of telling a story without movie or TV clips.  This story was reported by the intrepid Kevin Tibbles, who has also recently reported important stories about Pringles snack chips and Barbie's 53rd anniversary.
***A story about the Trayvon Martin shooting included a clip of Al Sharpton, who was identified as the host of MSNBC's "PoliticsNation" because the main responsibility of the Nightly News producers is to promote other NBC-affiliated shows.  Al Sharpton is a buffoon who has been regurgitating the same race-baiting screed for decades.  No one takes him seriously or pays much attention to him--except NBC News because he has a show on their sister network.
***In a story about the GOP presidential race and the Wisconsin primary, a live shot of correspondent Ron Mott once again showed him with a U.S. flag over his left shoulder.  It is standard operating procedure at Nightly News to show as many flags as possible each night because the producers try to position their broadcast as the most patriotic newscast ever to appear on the air.  What they are really doing is just shamelessly pandering to the viewers' sense of flag-waving rah-rah gung-ho faux-patriotism.  This story began with a double flag shot--a flag animation was waving behind Lester Holt at the same time we saw a clip of Mitt Romney speaking in front of a giant flag.  And the story ended with 15 seconds of promos. First, we were shown a promo for "Meet the Press", then we were shown a hilarious promo for Sarah Palin's "exclusive" appearance as guest host on Tuesday's "Today Show".  Obviously, this was just a desperate attempt to provide counter-programming against Katie Couric's upcoming stint as co-host of ABC's "Good Morning America" the following week.  And calling Palin's appearance "exclusive" was laughable.  She appears on Fox News every week, so a single appearance on "Today" hardly constitutes an "exclusive" appearance.
***In a story about the murder of Susan Powell, a law enforcement official was identified as "Miguel Almaguer".  Almaguer was actually the Nightly News correspondent who reported the story.  The law enforcement official was never properly identified.  Another screw-up in the Nightly News graphics department.  What a surprise.  Not.
***Next, we got a 2:20 story about the "Extreme Weather", reported by the idiotic Anne Thompson.  Thompson repeats the exact same story every few weeks (the last one was on March 14) without adding any new information.  It's appalling that she is allowed to milk the same old climate change story over and over and over again.  Appalling, but not surprising.  This is, after all, Nightly News.
***After that, we saw a 2:20 story titled "The Homework Debate".  Some kids may be getting too much homework.  Wow--that's really newsworthy.  Tell me more.
***The final story was about the town of Buford, Wyoming (population 1) that is up for sale.  Somehow, this qualifies as news at NBC.  These final two stories did not contain a shred of actual news, yet together they took up nearly five minutes of valuable news time.  Business as usual at Nightly News.
Sun. April 1--Nightly news began 13 minutes late this night (on the east coast) because golf ran long.  At NBC, there's really no question that sports is more important than news.
***A story about the Trayvon Martin shooting contained two clips of Al Sharpton, because apparently one clip is not sufficient to promote Sharpton's MSNBC show.  Naturally, Sharpton was identified as the host of MSNBC's "PoliticsNation".
***In his live shot at the end of a story about Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum, Ron Mott was standing in front of a sign reading "Freedom".  This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen on Nightly News (and that's saying a lot).  We all know that Nightly News political correspondents are required to stand in front of U.S. flags during their live shots in order to pander to the audience (see above).  But apparently there was no flag in the area this night, so the genius producers decided that a sign reading "Freedom" was the next best thing.  Seriously.  This was an actual executive decision they made.  So what would they have done if there was no "Freedom" sign available?  What was plan C?  To position Mott in front of a "Liberty Mutual" sign or an "American Airlines" sign because they contain the key patriotic words the producers demand?  I thought that all Nightly News producers were required to carry U.S. flags with them for just such an emergency.  Some producer must have been slacking off.  She probably got a reprimand.
***We saw another promo for Sarah Palin's "Today Show" appearance because promoting NBC's morning show is one of the Nightly News producers' main responsibilities.
***The final story of the night was about Hollywood's current remakes of 80's movies and TV shows.  The story included clips from the original and remade versions of "Arthur" and "21 Jump Street", as well as clips from the 80's movies "National Lampoon's Vacation", "Back to the Future", "Hot Tub Time Machine" and a montage of Arnold Schwarzenegger films.  There were also clips of Billy Crystal, Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone.  Altogether, these clips took up more than half of this 2:15 "news story".  Nightly News shows movie clips in their stories almost every night.  And every few weeks they make a point of devoting an entire story to movies (on March 16 & 23, for example, they ran stories on "The Hunger Game").  They do this for two reasons.  First, they bring high ratings.  When viewers see movie clips on the news, it keeps them interested, and interested viewers don't change the channel.  Movie clips are certainly a lot more entertaining than watching another car bombing or political speech.  And entertainment is clearly the business that Nightly News is in.  Viewers understand that Nightly News is the newscast that will show the most movie clips--lots more than ABC or CBS.  Since Jan. 1, Nightly News has shown movie or TV clips on 41 different nights--that's about half their broadcasts (many of these broadcasts contained multiple clips or featured clips in more than one story).  Another reason the producers show so many movie clips is to thank the movie studios for all their advertising dollars over the years.  And for all we know, the Nightly News stories about movies are actually part of paid ad packages.  Maybe the studios purchase packages that include a set number of commercials in addition to a news story about their film that airs on "Today" or Nightly News.  I wouldn't be at all surprised.  Of course, some of these movie and TV clips are inserted simply for self-promotional purposes.  It's become standard operating procedure at Nightly News to pepper their news stories with clips from "Saturday Night Live", "30 Rock", "Ellen", "The Office", "Seinfeld", "Celebrity Apprentice", "Golden Girls", "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and other current and former NBC shows.  And it goes without saying that Universal movies enjoy lots of free publicity on Nightly News (the "Hunger Games" soundtrack was released on a Universal label).  To put it succinctly, the Nightly News producers are sleazy scumbags.  They have no qualms about using movie or TV clips to boost their broadcast's ratings, to help their pals at the studios or to promote other NBC properties.  And do the producers even realize the irony of this story?  A newscast that shamelessly uses old movie and TV clips to boost its ratings did a story about how the movie studios are shamelessly remaking old movies and TV shows to gain a new audience.  I'm guessing the producers failed to see the irony.

But the most appalling thing about this particular story was that the Nightly News producers stole it right from the front page of the March 30 New York Times.  The Times story, called "In Hollywood, an 80's Moment", was about the current remakes of 80's TV shows and movies.  The story included references to "21 Jump Street", "National Lampoon's Vacation", "Hot Tub Time Machine" and "Arthur" as well as previous and forthcoming movies starring Billy Crystal, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone--the same films and actors featured in the Nightly News story.  In fact, all of the Nightly News source material came right out of the Times story--without any attribution or acknowledgement.  There's a word for that--plagiarism.  There are other words, too, like sleazy and shameless. 

And finally--let's not forget that because of golf, this Nightly News broadcast was only about half the length of a regular broadcast.  So with all the news going on across the country and around the world, the producers thought it would be a good idea for a severely shortened broadcast to devote 2:15 to a story about movies?  Was this their idea of an April Fool's joke?
Mon. April 2--During the lead story about the deadly shooting at Oakland's Oikos University, one of the witnesses that was interviewed was wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the phrase "Death For Dessert" (the word "Death" was in huge letters).  That's not exactly what I would call a display of sensitivity on the part of the Nightly News producers.
***A story about women's rights featured a clip of Bill Clinton being interviewed by Luke Russert.  That was pretty funny considering that both Luke Russert and Chelsea Clinton were handed gift-wrapped, lucrative on-air jobs at NBC News simply because their fathers were/are (respectively) Tim Russert and Bill Clinton.  I hope that every single day, Luke and Chelsea thank their patrons Brian Williams and NBC News president Steve Capus for giving them jobs that actual journalists (without famous fathers) often spend 20 years trying to get.
***After that, Brian read yet another promo for Sarah Palin's guest-hosting gig on Tuesday's "Today Show".  As Brian read the promo, an animated U.S. flag was waving behind him because obviously, Palin stands for everything that we love about America.
***A story about tornado early-warning systems included three gratuitous shots of tattered, U.S. flags waving in the tornado-ravaged rubble.  It's sad and pathetic that the Nightly News producers use flags as just another prop to pander to the viewers.  But we all know the Nightly News mantra--anything for ratings.
***Brian read another story about the record heat in March.  Doesn't he get tired of saying the same thing over and over and over again?  I guess not.  He likes hearing himself talk.
***Brian then told us about a survey listing the best-performing airlines.  Never mind that this isn't news and is really just of interest to him.  He gets to report on whatever he wants, and obviously aviation is one of those subjects.  Remember--the purpose of Nightly News is not to report the most important news stories, it's to report the stories that are of greatest interest to Brian.
***Speaking of which--the broadcast ended with a story about the 1940 census.  Here's how Brian introduced the story: "Finally tonight, for those of US who are interested in who WE are, how far our nation has come and how much WE'VE changed in a very short time, the federal government today released a gold mine.  They released the 1940 census."  We.  Us.  It's always all about Brian.  The Nightly News producers love stories like this.  Obviously, it's cheaper and easier to report on 70-year-old stories than current news because the old stories don't require much new footage.  The producers just throw together some old stock footage and clips of talking heads and voila--instant story.  However, I can't help thinking that maybe Brian should have done a little more research for this story.  He told us that the reason the census data was only now being released was, "...because the government has decided that so much time has passed that it shouldn't be confidential anymore...."  Um, not exactly.  There's a specific reason census data is kept confidential for 72 years.  It's called the Right to Privacy Act, and it's set at 72 years because that's the length of the average human life span (or at least it was when the law was written).  The census bureau is protecting each individual's census information for the presumed length of his or her life.  But by all means Brian should not let the facts get in the way of what he reports.  He hasn't in the past, so why start now?  By the way, this story featured an interview with a 100-year-old woman who participated in the 1940 census.  Nightly News never misses a chance to trot out a centenarian and parade her around.  This is at least the third centenarian Nightly News has featured in the past few months.  I guess they must bring in high ratings.  Why else would the producers bother with them?
Tues. April 3--A story about women and obesity was titled "Growing Epidemic" because obviously the producers thought it would be funny to have a laugh at the expense of plus-size women.  And I imagine that the only reason they even ran this story was because plus-size women are a desirable ratings demographic and can help with the broadcast's Nielsen numbers.
***Kevin Tibbles spent 1:38 on the story of an 80 year-old woman who landed a plane after her husband had a heart attack at the controls.  This story could have been fully reported in 20 seconds, but the Nightly News producers have to turn every pseudo-news story into a Lifetime movie.  Naturally, the final shot of the story was a flag at half-staff.  Another ridiculous fluff story from the ridiculous Kevin Tibbles.
***Did you know that there's a Japanese "ghost ship" adrift in the Pacific near Alaska?  Well, now you do.  Are there actual ghosts on board?  Brian didn't say.
***The broadcast ended with a story about museums' art collections that are now viewable on-line.  Maybe I'm missing something, but can someone please explain to me how this qualifies as news?  The story included a clip of Jackie Kennedy giving a White House tour because Brian has ordered his producers to include Kennedy clips in as many stories as possible.  Apparently, the NBC News research department has informed Brian that Kennedy clips boost the ratings.  It also included a clip from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" because Brian has ordered his producers to include movie clips in as many stories as possible.  Apparently, the NBC News research department has also informed Brian that movie clips boost the ratings.  Part of this story took place in New York's Museum of Modern Art.  That reminded me of the 3/23/10 Nightly News story about the Last Supper, in which a painting was attributed to the "Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art".  I guess the producers thought that New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art had merged with the Museum of Modern Art.  But now they understand that these are two different museums.  Look at how much the Nightly News producers learned in just two short years!
Wed. April 4--BBC World News reported that a Somali suicide bomber killed 10 people at Mogadishu's National Theater while the Prime Minister was giving a speech.  Naturally, Brian did not report this because international news (especially stories from Africa) generates low ratings.
***Instead, Brian began the broadcast with two stories (totalling more than five minutes) about the tornadoes in Texas.  In his intro to the second story, he called the video of the tornado "Some of the most dramatic storm footage ever captured on television."  Really, Brian?  You're not just exaggerating to keep people tuned in, are you?  Of course not.  He would never do something like that.
***A story about whether or not the Augusta National Golf Club will admit women was virtually identical to a story that ran the previous Friday.  But Brian was off on Friday, so that story apparently didn't count.  This story was titled both "Course Correction" and "Teed Off".  It would be nice if the producers picked one title and went with it.
***A story about unnecessary medical tests was titled "Too Many Tests?"  Again with the questions.  I can remember a time when news broadcasts answered questions instead of asking them.  It was also titled "Testing, Testing...."  More multiple titles.  Great.  Twice during this story, there were on-screen references to the "ABIM Foundation" but Nancy Snyderman never explained what this is (it's a non-profit foundation established by the American Board of Internal Medicine).  I guess Dr. Snyderman assumes that her viewers possess the same amount of medical knowledge that she does.
***Brian then spent 40 seconds reporting on pandas at the Edinburgh zoo.  He said they'd "been thrown together into a mating area in the zoo not unlike the Poconos."  He also said, "Of course, zoo officials still have the option of piping in some Marvin Gaye music."  I wonder what Nightly News would be like if Brian didn't waste time reporting stupid stories about pandas and if he abstained from using stories just to set up his idiotic jokes.  I guess it would be like the CBS Evening News.
***Next, Brian told us about a two-pound hot dog being sold at the Texas Rangers' Arlington Stadium.  He quoted Nolan Ryan in calling it a "tremendous wiener".  What is the deal with Brian's adolescent obsession with talking about male genitalia on the air?  This certainly isn't the first time it has happened.  On David Letterman's 1/3/11 show, Brian felt compelled to tell us that his recent trip to California included a pat-down by an airport security official who went "right after Dave and the twins."  Then he twice used the word "shmegegge" as a euphemism for his genitalia.  He also told Dave that there was "almost too much testosterone" in the room (I think we all know where in the body testosterone is made).  And on Jimmy Fallon's 2/5/10 show, Brian called the luge bodysuit the "the most package-enhancing outfit...."  It's really creepy to hear a supposedly professional network news anchor making repeated references to "shmegegges", "packages", "Dave and the twins" and a "tremendous wiener".  From now on, whenever I hear Brian use an odd or unfamiliar phrase on his newscast, I'll be wondering if it's really a coded reference to his "shmegegge".  Gross.  I think I need to take a shower now.
***One thing I like about Brian is that he is never shy to tell us just how much he knows about a subject.  To wit: in a story about the Civil War death total being revised upward, he said, "True U.S. history buffs grow up knowing the death toll in the Civil War was just north of 600,000--618,222 to be exact...."  Therefore, by the transitive property of mathematics (if a = b and b = c, then a = c), Brian is telling us that he is a "true U.S. history buff".  Another thing I like about Brian--his modesty.
***In a story about a burst water line on the White House grounds, Brian referred to the President's residence as "The People's House".  What is wrong with him?  Why can't he talk like a normal person?  Why does he have to talk like he's part of his own imaginary Rat Pack?  He also made the same idiotic reference twice before--on Jan. 31 and Feb. 1. 
***The final story was about the ongoing construction of New York City's new Second Avenue subway line.  Huh?  This is news?  Maybe the producers thought they were producing a segment for Discovery Channel's "Extreme Engineering".  During this story, two different women were identified as "Jean Evans Rich--Second Avenue Resident".  I guess that must be a very popular name on the Upper East Side.
***Let's recap.  On this broadcast, we learned all about horny pandas, Brian's tremendous wiener, Brian's Civil War knowledge and the Second Avenue subway.  But we didn't hear a thing about the suicide bombing in Mogadishu.  Great work, Brian.
Thurs. April 5--In a story about George Zimmerman, Michael Isikoff went to great pains to show that Zimmerman's previous calls to the police did not mention the race of the "suspicious characters" he was reporting until he was asked about it.  Isikoff also made sure to interview friends of Zimmerman who swear that he is not a racist.  Obviously, this pro-Zimmerman story was meant to quell all the criticism that erupted earlier in the week after NBC News selectively edited the Trayvon Martin 911 tapes to intentionally make Zimmerman appear racist.  Sorry--too little, too late.  Here's an idea for the Nightly News producers: If you don't edit tapes to make someone look like a racist, you won't have to then scramble to produce favorable reports to counteract your earlier stupidity.
***Time for another story on the Augusta National Golf Club--the third Augusta story in less than a week.  They're still not admitting women.  Thanks for the update.
***A story about whooping cough was just another Nightly News alarmist story meant to scare people into not changing the channel.  "OMG!  I better watch this report so I don't get whooping cough!"  I really don't think whooping cough is such a big problem that it merits a Nightly News story.
***We then saw a report on Syria.  This one caught me by surprise, since Nightly News stories on Syria are so rare.  I thought maybe the Nightly News producers were mad at Syria and that's why they've been ignoring it for so long.
***It had been 48 hours since Nightly News showed some Jackie Kennedy footage, so it was high time.  Tonight, it was a story about Clint Hill, Jackie's Secret Service agent during her White House years (or perhaps I should say her "people's house" years).  We saw lots and lots of video of JFK and Jackie, and of course it also included the clip of young John Kennedy, Jr. saluting his father's body as the hearse passed by.  That clip has become a Nightly News trademark.  They show it every week, sometimes several times a week.  This is the 16th story about the Kennedys (or that featured clips of them) that Nightly News has shown since the beginning of the year.  Apparently, Brian has a Kennedy fetish which is why he has ordered his producers to show Kennedy stories over and over and over.  This story was reported by Savannah Guthrie, who was anchoring the broadcast in place of Brian that night.  I guess Brian was spending a long weekend with his family at the Williams Compound in Hyannis Port.  I bet he played a lot of football with his kids.
***Next, we saw another story about the 80 year-old woman who made a "miracle landing" after her husband died at the controls of his plane.  You didn't think Nightly News would only do one story about this, did you?  This story included cockpit voice recordings of the woman as she was being given instructions by air traffic controllers.  I wonder if the Nightly News producers edited the tapes to make her sound racist, like they did with the George Zimmerman tapes.
***Since this was a broadcast full of repeat stories (Augusta, Jackie Kennedy, the "miracle landing"), it was only fitting that we would be shown another story about the Japanese "ghost ship" adrift off the coast of Alaska. 
***The broadcast ended with a story about Miami's thriving film industry.  And what a surprise--the story focused almost exclusively on Telemundo's Spanish-language soap operas and the USA Network's "Burn Notice".  Telemundo and USA are both owned by Comcast/NBC Universal, so this "news story" was really just a 2:15 plug for NBC-owned properties.  This shameless story was reported by Janet Shamlian.  Maybe she should change her name to Janet Shameless.  Well, at least she had the integrity to mention that Telemundo and USA were owned by NBC Universal.  Let's be thankful for small things.
Fri. April 6--After spending more than a minute telling us about an anonymous Mega Millions lottery winner in Kansas, Savannah Guthrie spent 15 seconds reporting on the solemn ceremony in Sarajevo commemorating the 20th anniversary of the start of the Bosnian war.  I guess that means that the lottery winner was four times more important than the Bosnian war and the estimated 200,000 people who died in that war.  It's nice that the Nightly News producers have their priorities straight.
***Did you feel that Thursday's 3:45 story on Jackie Kennedy's Secret Service agent was not nearly long enough for you?  If so, you're in luck.  Guthrie presented part 2 of the story--and this time it clocked in at 4:15.  Naturally, this story once again included the clip of John Kennedy, Jr. saluting his father's body as the hearse drove past.  They should just play that clip over and over again on a continuous loop behind Brian (or whoever is anchoring).  It would be a lot better than that idiotic animated waving flag we see so often.  So this means that over two days, Guthrie wasted eight minutes of valuable news time showing old video of Jack and Jackie.  Great job.  Really.  I mean it.
***Guthrie then took 22 seconds to promote a screening of "To Kill A Mockingbird" that would be airing Saturday on the USA Network.  "Mockingbird" is a Universal film and USA is an NBC Universal network.  So she's promoting a Comcast/NBC Universal film that will be airing on a Comcast/NBC Universal network.  How special.  This is the second night in a row that Nightly News has promoted something on the USA Network.  I guess one of the NBC Universal corporate weasels ordered the Nightly News executive producer to start rabidly hyping the USA Network.  By the way, the "Mockingbird" promo was longer than the story on the Bosnian war memorial ceremony so I guess it was more important.
***Then it was time for the third story on the Japanese "ghost ship".  This time, Guthrie and her producers took 2:25 to tell us that the U.S. Coast Guard sank the ship.  I can't be sure, but I thought I saw a brief clip of young John Kennedy, Jr. saluting the sunken ship.
***The final story was about an Oakland woman who opened a sandwich shop.  That's it.  That was the story.  And it took them 2:20 to tell us about it.  What would happen if the Nightly News producers devoted the entire broadcast to reporting actual news instead of bullshit?  Oh well, it's a moot point.  That will never happen.  Not on Brian's watch.

March Madness At NBC Nightly News

In the month of March, NBC Nightly News spent 10 minutes and 34 seconds reporting stories about Iran.  They aired seven minutes worth of stories about Syria.  And they did not do any stories at all about Iraq or the coup in Mali.  By contrast, here are some subjects they covered quite extensively:

***They spent 17:26 on stories about the weather or climate change.
***They spent 14:52 on stories about movies ("Bully", "The Godfather", "The Hunger Games" and various James Cameron movies).
***They spent 12:50 on stories about military veterans and Medal of Honor recipients.
***They spent 12:36 on stories about the $640 million Mega Millions lottery jackpot.
***They spent 12:13 on stories about airlines or the aviation industry.
***They spent 8:32 on stories about Britain's Royal Family (Will and Kate, Harry, Queen Elizabeth).
***They spent 5:47 on stories about NASA or falling space junk.
***They spent 5:32 on stories about the NFL.
***They spent 5:03 on stories about animals.

So we can surmise that at Nightly News, the weather, movies, veterans and the Mega Millions lottery are more important than Iran, Iraq or Syria.  And while Iran may be more important than the British Royal Family, the Royals are more important than Syria.  And animals, football and falling space junk are each more important than Iraq or Mali.  It's nice to know that Brian Williams and his producers have their priorities straight.  Great work, guys.

NBC Nightly News Show Notes--3/24/12 Through 3/30/12 (Revised--Full Week)

Q: What do you call an evening newscast that goes an entire week without a single report on Iran, Iraq or Syria? A: You call it NBC Nightly News.  Also this week--Pete Williams dissed Brian Williams three times and Brian made me sick to my stomach.   But the big news was the $640 Mega Millions lottery.  Here's what else happened:

Sat. March 24--Congratulations to the Nightly News producers!  In a story about the Trayvon Martin shooting, they correctly spelled the name of the Orlando Sentinel.  Last Wednesday (3/21), they spelled it as "Sentinal".  This shows real progress.  They should be very proud of themselves.
***In a story about the GOP presidential candidates, Ron Mott reported live from Green Bay, Wisconsin.  At first I was puzzled because there was no huge American flag over his shoulder, a requirement for all NBC News political reports (and most other remote reports).  But upon closer examination, there actually was a tiny flag way, way off in the distance over Mott's right shoulder.  This is completely unacceptable.  NBC News rules clearly state that U.S. Flags must take up no less than 25% of the screen space in any live shot.  I'm certain that some producer was read the riot act over this foul-up for failing to have located a huge flag to use in this report.  Furthermore, all NBC News producers are required to carry their own huge flag to use in remote shots, so the producer responsible for this SNAFU was probably fired.  By the way, at the beginning and end of this report, Mott was identified in a Nightly News graphic as being in "Green Bay. WI".  That's right--the producers used a period instead of a comma.  I guess they were too busy looking for a flag to pay attention to graphics details.
***A story about cheating on Georgia's public school achievement tests carried the "Rock Center" logo at the beginning because Brian Williams is desperate to do anything he can to boost that show's anemic ratings.
***We saw a minute-and-a-half story about Queen Elizabeth "crashing" a wedding because NBC News research shows that people love to watch stories about Great Britain's Royal Family.
***The final story of the night was about a three-year-old girl who suffers from a rare lung disease.  The Nightly News producers constantly exploit sick children for ratings because these stories appeal to the viewers' sense of hope and pity.  Nightly News shows dozens of stories each year about kids with cancer or other serious illnesses.  But this story had an added bonus for the producers because this little girl has a service dog that carries around her oxygen tanks.  So this is like the daily double for the Nightly News producers.  Not only did they get to show plenty of shots of a cute, sick little girl, they also got to show her dog.  It's like a Lassie movie.  And just in case we didn't feel bad enough for little Alida Knobloch, the story included somber guitar music to make us even more melancholy.  Another crafty Nightly News trick.  They might as well have just played some Nick Drake or Kurt Cobain.  A news broadcast that exploits sick children for ratings is just as bad as a scam charity that falsely claims to raise money for sick kids.  They are both vile, predatory and leech-like.  But the Nightly News producers don't care.  All they care about are the ratings.  Well done.
Sun. March 25--There was  no Nightly News this night because golf ran late.  What a surprise.
Mon. March 26--Pete Williams continues to be my hero.  While introducing a story about the Supreme Court hearings on health care, Brian once again tried to sweet-talk Pete with a treacly "Good evening, Pete".  But Pete just ignored Brian and went right into his story.  I guess there's at least one person at Nightly News who understands that the news is about reporting stories, not about anchors and correspondents friending each other on the air.  I bet that every time this happens, Brian stomps his feet and bangs his fists and complains to NBC News President Steve Capus.  "Why won't Pete say 'Good Evening' to me?  Why doesn't he like me?  I'm a nice guy.  Make him say 'Good Evening' to me, goddammit!"
***After Pete's Supreme Court story we were treated to a minute of inane analysis from Savannah Guthrie.  A first-year law student could have given the same analysis.  Brian introduced her by saying, "As a lawyer yourself and a watcher of all things Supreme Court..."  He never misses an opportunity to remind us that Guthrie is a lawyer, like that's so impressive.  Big deal--my Starbucks barista is a lawyer.
***We then got three minutes of Matt Lauer's interview with Sgt. Robert Bales' wife because promoting "The Today Show" is one of Brian's main responsibilities.
***Andrea Mitchell began her report about the Pope's visit to Cuba by saying, "Good evening Brian, and I know you were here the last time a Pope came to Cuba--John Paul II, of course, 14 years ago...."  I'm sure Brian demanded that that line be included in Mitchell's report because he requires all his correspondents to acknowledge his journalistic acumen.  He's like a Mafia Don insisting that his capos pay tribute.
***A story on weight loss surgery as a cure for diabetes was titled "Breakthrough?"  Why do the Nightly News producers always use questions as titles for their stories?  They're supposed to answer questions, not ask them.  (Obviously, they do this as a ratings ploy to pique the viewers' interest and keep them from changing channels.)
***Time for another weather update.  There was a cold snap in the Northeast!  In March!  Wow!  Every time the temperature changes by a few degrees, Brian insists on reporting it.  News flash:  People get weather information from their local news, not from national news.  But I guess since NBC Universal paid $3.5 billion for The Weather Channel, they make damn sure to use it as often as possible.
***The broadcast ended with a two-minute report about James Cameron's deep-sea dive.  The story included 20 seconds of movie clips from "The Abyss", "Titanic", "Avatar" and "Terminator".  Because obviously, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the first thing people think of when they think of deep-sea diving.  By the way, CBS News also reported this story, but they didn't include any movie clips.  I guess Scott Pelley is interested in reporting news, not pandering to his viewers with movie clips.
Tues. March 27--Here's how Brian introduced the lead story about the JetBlue pilot who went berserk:  "Most people do the same thing when boarding an aircraft--you glance to the left quickly just to see the folks who are gonna do the flying and once WE'RE assured they look like pilots, WE make OUR way to OUR seats where OUR lives are in their hands."  Wow.  I mean--I know the news is always first and foremost about Brian, but five personal pronouns in one sentence?  Impressive!  That may be a new record.
***Pete Williams--you are the man!  Once again, Pete refused to return Brian's platitudinous "Good Evening".  I think I saw a little wisp of smoke come out of Brian's ears.  And like last night, this story was followed by some vapid commentary from Savannah Guthrie.  I can almost hear Johnny Cochran saying, "If your analysis is weak, then please don't speak."
***Brian took 30 seconds to tell us that chocolate may help people lose weight.  Because he's all about the hard news.
***Brian began the next story by saying, "It's another great time to look at the night sky" because Venus and Jupiter are visible.  Brian is always reporting astronomy-related crap because it's of interest to HIM.  And let's face it--that's really what matters, isn't it?  By the way, Brian already told us about Venus and Jupiter two weeks earlier on the 3/12 broadcast.  Maybe Brian's lobbying to get a planet named after him.  Has the name Narcissus been used yet?
***Stop the presses!  A Colorado third-grader made a half-court basketball shot.  And Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about it.  You won't see this kind of intrepid reporting on ABC or CBS.
***The final report of the night was one of those stories that just makes me want to vomit.  It was titled "Hiring Our Heroes" and here's how Brian introduced it:  "And that brings us to our final report tonight--help for U.S. military veterans.  When you think about it, their job while in uniform is to get the job done.  Now ask yourself, if you're an employer--don't you want someone like that on your payroll?  That's the gist of our company-wide campaign called 'Hiring Our Heroes'--a joint commitment by NBC Universal and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce which in the past year has held more than 100 job fairs for vets and their spouses.  Thousands of people have been hired--NBC's Chris Jansing has the story of two of those vets who got the help they needed."  Are you queasy yet?  I'm nauseous just from typing that.  This is another one of Nightly News's sickening rah-rah, gung-ho, eagle-soaring, flag-waving stories meant to stir up patriotic feelings and gain ratings among the NASCAR demographic.  Can someone please explain to me how the hell it's the job of a news organization to launch a job initiative?  And then report on it as if it's actual news?  What an appalling breach of journalistic ethics.  We all know Brian has given himself the responsibility of finding jobs for children of his friends (like Luke Russert) and presidential progeny (like Chelsea Clinton), but now he thinks he has to find jobs for veterans, too?  This is just Brian patting his own back for pandering to the viewers' sense of faux-patriotism.  Nightly News viewers are certainly aware that Brian is a fawning sycophantic toady who gets off by carrying water for the American military.  He has single-handedly turned Nightly News into the propaganda arm of the U.S. armed services.  And now, he's somehow convinced Steve Capus to go along with this grotesque self-promotional display of jingoism.  I guess it's not a big surprise.  Capus will do anything to keep Brian happy (such as continuing to carry the burdensome "Rock Center" on the NBC schedule despite its horrendous ratings).  So he's willing to indulge Brian in this shameless and egotistical pursuit.  And from a ratings perspective, it's probably not going to hurt.  No one ever lost ratings points by waving the American flag around (Brian proves that every night).  I have to say this is one of the most sickening things Nightly News has ever done--and that's saying a lot.  How does the FCC allow this sham news organization to continue operating?  What a waste of three minutes of valuable news time.
Wed. March 28--In keeping with their policy of boosting ratings by scaring viewers, the Nightly News producers used the title "Air Scare" for the lead story about the JetBlue pilot who went berserk.  They also used the title "Flight Risk?" because the producers somehow think it's a good idea for a title to ask a question.  The story included a clip from "The Today show" because--well, you know.  In his intro to the story, Brian told us that "Airline Captains...are responsible for all souls on board."  Why would he use a ridiculous word like "souls"?  He uses this word frequently.  Maybe all the coverage of the Pope has put Brian in a very ecclesiastical frame of mind.
***After the JetBlue story, Brian showed a graphic of all the planes in the air at the time.  He said, "Take a look at this graphic from our friends at Flight Tracking website...."  I guess since Pete Williams won't be Brian's friend, he's desperate to show us that he has lots of other friends.
***Speaking of Pete Williams--he again dissed Brian by ignoring his "Good evening, Pete".  Pete's disdain for Brian is pretty obvious.
***After yet more inane commentary from Savannah Guthrie, Brian said, "Thank you, counselor, for your counsel during this case."  That idiotic statement sounds like something out of "Ally McBeal".
***Just in case you had recovered from the previous day's sickening "Hiring Our Heroes" segment, it was time for another round.  Here was Brian's intro:  "Aboard the aircraft carrier/museum USS Intrepid here in New York today, an effort to help some of the Nation's veterans find civilian jobs back home.  It's part of 'Hiring Our Heroes', a joint project by NBC Universal and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.  More than 4,400 vets and their spouses attended job fairs today in New York, Chicago, Ft. Hood, Texas--16,000 more participated on line.  Our own parent company, by the way, Comcast NBC Universal today pledged to hire 1,000 vets over the nest three-year period."  He went on to say, "If you've seen a Sgt. Major in the army over in the field, you would hire that person so fast 'cause they can get anything done."  I'm pretty sure that Brian had an erection while saying this.  This isn't a news story, it's a promotional announcement for NBC.  I spent so much time vomiting from last night's "Hiring Our Heroes" report that I could only manage to dry heave during this report.  Naturally, the story ended with a plug for "Rock Center".
***Brian then spent 20 seconds telling us that the airplane manufacturer Hawker Beechcraft was filing for bankruptcy.  Does anyone other than Brian care about this?  Brian is an aviation geek, so he thinks that everyone is interested in stories like this.  Because the news is all about Brian.  Always.
***To end the broadcast, Kevin Tibbles spent two minutes telling us about the half-billion dollar Mega Millions jackpot.  He asked passersby what they would do with the money, then had his blood pressure checked to make sure he could stand the stress of winning.  Tibbles has become the Nightly News go-to guy whenever an insipidly stupid story needs to be reported.  Remember his 3/9/12 "news story" about Barbie's 53rd anniversary?  Or his awesome 4/6/11 report about Pringles?  Or his 12/16/09 breaking news story about Rudolph, the blind and deaf dachshund?  Yes, Tibbles has done some great work at Nightly News.  Peabody material.  At every news network, there's always one person who the producers assign to the silliest, most inane stories because they know he or she will report a story no matter how idiotic is is.  At Nightly News, Tibbles is that person.
Thurs. March 29--The first two stories (totalling more than four minutes) were about new CDC statistics on autism.  Not exactly what I would consider lead story material.  Then, when Lester (who was anchoring that night) began introducing the next story (about the Trayvon Martin shooting), the graphic box over his left shoulder and the graphic wall behind him still read "Diagnosis: Autism".  I guess the graphics technician must have fallen asleep.  Can anyone blame her?  Someone get this person a double espresso--stat!
***The Trayvon Martin story was titled "New Evidence?" because phrasing the title in the form of a question draws the viewers in much more so than with a simple declarative title.  Just another trick to boost ratings courtesy of the Nightly News producers.  At the end of this story, Ron Allen said, "We should point out that Sanford police only made those tapes available because of a Freedom of Information request by NBC News and other journalists."  I love how Allen threw in "and other journalists" at the end--as if NBC News was the prime mover in the FOI request and the other "journalists" were just a couple of 1940's-type hacks with "press" cards in their fedoras.  I'm pretty sure that all the other major networks also made FOI requests.
***Next, it was time for yet another story on gas prices.  Tom Costello took 2:45 to say what could have been said in thirty seconds.  Costello basically regurgitated old information that had already been previously presented in the nine stories on gas prices that Nightly News ran in February.
***Then we got another report on the "Bully" movie from the vapid Kate Snow.  I guess the two-and-a-half minutes Nightly News devoted to that movie on March 10 wasn't enough, so we needed another three minutes.  And the story ended with a twenty-second promo for a longer "Bully" story on Sunday's "Dateline" because obviously we just can't get enough of "Bully".  I suspect that Brian is the one behind the scenes pushing "Bully" on us because it seems pretty clear that he was bullied as a child.  And maybe even as an adult.
***An obituary for Earl Scruggs was really just an excuse to entertain the viewers with clips from "The Beverly Hillbillies" and "Bonnie and Clyde".  In fact, almost 25% of the story was comprised of movie and TV clips.  That sounds about right.
***The final story was about the modern-day gold rush in Elko, Nevada.  I guess this is what passes for news at Nightly News.  Hey, the Discovery Channel called--they want their programming back.
Fri. March 30--On this busy news day, what story do you suppose Nightly News lead off with?  The elections in Burma?  The situation in Syria?  No.  Nightly News lead off with two stories (comprising nearly five minutes) about the Mega Millions drawing.  In the first story, Stephanie Gosk interviewed people about what they'd do with $640 million (maybe she should have asked Brian, since he's one of the few people who actually has that much money).  In the second story, Suze Orman gave us some helpful advice to use if we win: "Once you've won, it's different.  Now you're in this whole different state of 'Oh my God, I have this money!'"  And this: "Here's the bottom line--money alone will never, ever, ever make you happy, but lack of money will make you miserable."  Hey, thanks, a lot Suze.  Awesome advice.  Oh, by the way, Orman has a show on CNBC so don't forget to watch that.  And remember to order the shady Suze Orman debit card so she can profit from your tailspin into bankruptcy.
***OMG!  Nightly News did a story about Iran--the first Iran story they've done in two weeks!  What's the deal--is Iran sponsoring a $640 million lottery?  I can't imagine why else they'd bother to report on Iran.
***The broadcast ended with...that's right--another story about the Mega Millions lottery drawing.  With this two-minute story, Nightly News has spent nearly seven minutes this night reporting on the lottery.  That's almost a third of the entire broadcast.  Well, if something is really important, you gotta go with it.  And this story was reported by Kevin Tibbles so you know it's special.  It included a clip of Frank Sinatra singing "Luck Be A Lady" as well as clips from the movie "It Could Happen To You" and the old "Let's Make A Deal" TV show.  And before the previous commercial break, the exit music previewing this story was Pink Floyd's "Money".  Because at Nightly News, you can't tell a story without pop songs and movie clips.  Great job, Kevin.  You should be so proud.
***So let's recap.  This week, Nightly News did not mention the coup in Mali.  They did not do a single story about Syria.  But the producers gave us nine minutes worth of Mega Millions lottery stories.  That's why I love Nightly News.