Brian Williams likes to pretend that he's interested in reporting stories about nutrition. Here are some recent nutrition stories he has personally told us about on NBC Nightly News:
3/17/10--Brian eagerly reported that Kraft will be reducing the sodium in their products by 10%. The Kraft logo appeared on-screen for the entirety of this 30-second story.
12/28/10--Brian could barely restrain his enthusiasm as he told us that Frito-Lay would be going "all natural". Here are Brian's exact words: "Coming soon to grocery store shelves near you, snacks we've always considered junk food with a new label saying 'All Natural'. It's the work of Frito-Lay--they're removing chemical additives from some Tostitos, Sun Chips, Lays, Rold Gold pretzels." (Brian gets extra credit for mentioning four specific Frito-Lay brands.) As Brian narrated this 30-second story, the Frito-Lay logo was prominently displayed over his left shoulder. And just to make sure we got the point, below the logo were the phrases "Good Fun!" and "ALL NATURAL".
1/20/11--Brian excitedly announced that Walmart, "...promised today to cut prices on fresh fruits and vegetables and to reduce fats, sugar, salt (and) eliminate trans-fats in some of its own store brands by the year 2015." Praising Walmart for ending the practice of selling unhealthy food is like praising someone because he's stopped beating his dog. It's great that the bad activity has stopped, but where was the media coverage while the bad activity was still going on? I have never seen Nightly News do a single story about the high prices, lack of fresh food choices or the elevated fat, sugar and sodium content in foods sold at Walmart. But Brian is thrilled to tell us all about their great new healthy food policy.
7/26/11--Brian took thirty seconds to bring us this piece of breaking news: "McDonald's said today that it's taking steps to make Happy Meals healthier. The company is cutting the size of the french fry portion in half for starters and adding apple slices to every meal. The new meals will have about 20% fewer calories--coming in at under 600 calories total. First Lady Michelle Obama, who campaigns, of course, for better nutrition, put out a statement today calling this a good step." As Brian read this, the McDonald's logo was onscreen for the entire thirty seconds, along with the phrase "Healthy Choices" and a picture of a Happy Meal. I especially love how Brian said that Happy Meals will become "healthier" instead of less unhealthy. And I also love how he implied that Mrs. Obama was endorsing McDonald's.
So it seems that Brian really likes to report stories about nutrition, right? Wrong. These aren't stories about nutrition. These are stories whose sole purpose is to promote regular NBC sponsors--Kraft, Frito-Lay (owned by PepsiCo), Walmart and McDonald's. And these aren't just food companies, they are among the largest food behemoths on the planet. So how much money do you suppose these four companies pay NBC each year in advertising and promotion fees? Keep in mind that NBC isn't just a TV channel that shows "The Office" and "Community". Comcast NBC Universal is a behemoth in its own right. In addition to NBC, it also owns MSNBC, CNBC, Bravo, Chiller, Oxygen, Cloo (formerly Sleuth), SyFy, Telemundo, MUN2, The Weather Channel, USA, E!, The Golf Channel, The Style Network and NBC Sports Network (formerly Versus). Comcast NBC Universal also has a 15% ownership stake in A&E Networks, which includes The History Channel, The Biography Channel and Lifetime. So I couldn't even begin to guess how much money Comcast NBC Universal accepts in ad fees from Kraft, PepsiCo, Walmart and McDonald's. Is it $50 million a year? $75 million? $100 million? More? Your guess is as good as mine. Let's just say it's a lot. An awful lot. So it's hardly surprising that super-sleaze Brian Williams likes to take time on Nightly News to thank his sponsors by reading 30-second press releases praising their products. Of course, there could be another explanation. It's entirely possible that these companies are paying the NBC sales & marketing department to concoct sham "news stories" about their products, which Brian then eagerly reads on the air. In other words, these Nightly News reports about Kraft, McDonald's and others may actually be paid commercials. Considering that the weaselly executives (and anchors) at NBC have no morals or ethics, this wouldn't surprise me one bit.
Meanwhile, here's a nutrition story that you won't hear Brian Williams report: On Tuesday (6/5/12), The New York Times ran a story on the front page of their business section explaining that The Walt Disney Company will soon be implementing strict nutritional guidelines for food companies who want to advertise their products on Disney television networks, radio stations and websites that are watched or listened to by kids (for Disney's ABC stations, the guidelines will apply to times when kids are likely to be watching, such as weekend mornings). That's a pretty radical step and Disney should be applauded for their forward-thinking efforts. The Times article said that certain foods like Kraft Lunchables "will no longer be acceptable advertising material". Also, Disney characters like Buzz Lightyear are no longer being used to promote unhealthy foods like McDonald's Happy meals. Furthermore, Disney will also be reducing sodium in food served at its theme parks. (Read the entire Times article by Brooks Barnes at http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/05/business/media/in-nutrition-initiative-disney-to-restrict-advertising.html.)
So why won't Brian Williams report this story? The obvious reason is that there's no upside for Brian and his producers. Most stories on Nightly News have an ulterior motive. They are specifically meant to promote NBC sponsors, promote NBC television shows, or simply to boost Nightly News's ratings by pandering to lowest-common-denominator mass-appeal themes. So reporting this story would actually bring negative publicity to NBC sponsors such as McDonald's and Kraft (and many others), and Brian could never allow that. Brian's primary goal is to promote his sponsors whenever possible. But when that's not possible, his policy is to protect the sponsors by refusing to run negative stories about their products. Another reason he won't report this story is that Disney/ABC is a direct competitor of Comcast NBC Universal and Brian is loath to report positive news about NBC's rivals. It would make NBC look bad by comparison. In fact, Brian rarely mentions ABC or CBS by name. He's too scared that hearing these networks' names on Nightly News would cause his viewers to immediately change the channel, as if they had no idea that these other networks existed.
Of course, there may come a time when the weasels at Comcast NBC Universal have to cave in to public pressure and implement an advertising policy similar to the one put in place by Disney. If that day ever comes, you can bet that Brian will announce it on Nightly News as if he was reporting the second coming of Jesus Christ. It would probably sound something like this: "NBC Universal announced today that their networks will no longer accept advertising for unhealthy foods during programs that are watched primarily by children. Furthermore, all of the Universal theme parks will implement strict new nutritional guidelines to make their food healthier. This bold new step is part of NBC Universal's global initiative to eradicate childhood obesity. We really care. Really. Michelle Obama loves that NBC is doing this and she told me so personally. NBC will officially introduce this policy on a new prime time reality show in which children of veterans will compete to lose weight by exercising and eating right. The show will be called 'The Littlest Loser' and it premieres next Tuesday at 9 PM, 8 central. Brought to you by McDonald's."
Friday, June 8, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Brian Williams & NBC Nightly News Show Notes: 5/26/12 Through 6/1/12 (Updated--Full Week)
Here's something interesting: Brian Williams only anchored Nightly News one day last week (Tuesday, May 29). That seems odd. Why would he take Monday off, return Tuesday and then take Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off? If not for Tuesday, he could have had a vacation of nine consecutive days. Well, remember that nothing at Nightly News happens randomly or by accident. There was a very specific reason why Brian anchored the broadcast for one day. It has to do with ratings. On those weekdays when Brian is off and a substitute anchors the broadcast, the ratings are always lower than when Brian anchors (all three network newscasts have lower ratings when the regular anchor is off). So on those days when Brian isn't anchoring (and he and his producers know the ratings will be lower), they submit Nightly News to the Nielsen ratings company intentionally misspelled as "Nitely News". When that happens, Nielsen counts the lower-rated "Nitely News" shows in a separate category from Nightly News, and thus they don't detract from the Nightly News ratings. For example, suppose Brian anchors Nightly News Monday and Tuesday and those broadcasts get a 7.5 rating, and the other three broadcasts (with a substitute anchor) average a 6 rating. The total average rating for the week is actually 6.6. But because Brian and his producers submitted the Wednesday-Friday broadcasts misspelled as "Nitely News", they are not counted in the same category as Nightly News. So Brian can claim that Nightly News has a 7.5 rating for the week based on just two broadcasts. That's why Brian made sure to anchor one broadcast this past week. Whatever rating Brian achieved on Tuesday will be considered the Nightly News rating for the entire week, since the other four (lower-rated) broadcasts were submitted to Nielsen as "Nitely News". It's fudging the numbers and playing the system. Another way to describe it: Cheating. It's like giving a false name to the police so they won't know you have outstanding warrants under your real name. This practice of intentionally misspelling Nightly News as "Nitely News" has been going on for years with the full blessing of Brian and NBC News President Steve Capus. This is the type of dishonest, sleazy organization they preside over. Their only concern is earning high ratings, since that allows NBC to charge higher ad rates.
Here is some of the other stuff that went on at Nightly News (or perhaps I should say "Nitely News") this week:
Sat. May 26--What a surprise--Nightly News began with four minutes of weather stories. What a ridiculous abuse of the public trust. Instead of covering real news, the producers devote 10%-20% of every Nightly News broadcast to reporting on the weather solely as a way to justify the $3.5 billion that NBC Universal paid for The Weather Channel. That's journalistic malpractice. During one of the weather reports, ace journalist Kerry Sanders interviewed a Miami high school senior whose graduation party had to be moved indoors because of the heat. Great investigative journalism! That ought to win a Peabody Award or two.
***If there's anything the Nightly News producers love (aside from reporting on the weather), it's trying to scare the viewers with alarmist bogus medical stories. This time, it was the "Heart Risk?" from calcium supplements. Notice how the title contains a question mark? The producers frequently put a question mark after the title because that protects them against any legal action from the industry they are slandering. In this case, they aren't stating that there's a link between calcium supplements and heart attacks, they're simply asking the question. Obviously, the whole point of these stories is to boost the broadcast's ratings. People get scared that they're at risk for something, so they stay tuned to find out the details. It's a cheap and sleazy way to get ratings. This is the 16th alarmist medical story Nightly News has run in the past three months. Most of them are reported by Dr. Nancy Snyderman, although Robert Bazell reported this story. As a physician, Snyderman should be ashamed of what she's doing. Reporting these tawdry stories is a violation of the Hippocratic oath. On the other hand, Bazell is not a physycian and therefore has no moral or ethical responsibility to report the truth or to be concerned about the sensationalist crap he's spewing. During this particular report, a physician named Ethel Siris was identified as being from "NewYork [sic] Presbyterian/Columb...." I don't know what came after that because it faded off the screen and got lost in her white lab coat. And memo to the producers: "New York" is two words, not one word like it appeared in the graphic.
***Later, we saw a 2:20 story about the rising average age of visitors to America's National Parks. Really? This is news? No, but this is what passes for news on Nightly News. What a joke. In his intro, Lester Holt referred to these parks as "national treasures". Obviously, this was just another Nightly News propaganda piece designed to draw visitors to the National Parks. Why? Because Brian has made it one of his goals over the past six years to be a cheerleader for the National Parks. His greasy fingerprints are all over this story.
***Here's how Lester introduced the next story: "We wanted to show you the viral video that's got a lot of folks talking once they pick their jaws up from the floor." It was about an 81-year-old sky diver who fell out of her harness and had to hang onto her instructor during descent. When did it become the job of a news organization to show viral videos? Isn't that why we have YouTube? Lester ended the story by telling us that the sky diver would be appearing on Sunday's "Today Show". Oh, now I get it. The only reason they showed this idiotic "news story" was to promote the next day's "Today Show"! What an appalling breach of journalistic ethics. When is the FCC finally going to revoke NBC's license to broadcast this sham newscast?
***The final story was about a Vietnam veteran in Idaho who created a "field of heroes" to memorialize the servicemen and women who died in Iraq and Afghanistan. Okay--that's a nice thing to do. But it isn't news. In truth, it was just another one of those Nightly News rah-rah, gung-ho, flag waving, God-Bless-America stories designed to boost ratings with its pseudo-patriotoc gobbledygook. Nightly News airs these stories all the time because Brian and his producers have calculated that these types of stories attract lots of viewers. And I'm sure they do. No one ever lost viewers by showing a few dozen waving flags. Just ask the people at Fox News. By the way--twice during the broadcast, Lester promoted this as a "Making A Difference" story, but when it finally aired it didn't carry the MAD logo. I think Lester should start attending the afternoon production meetings.
Sun. May 27--Because of a DVR screw-up, I missed the first 20 minutes of the broadcast. So I'd like to give a great big shout out to all the incompetent idiots at Time Warner Cable and their crappy DVR recorders. Thanks a lot, guys!
***Fortunately, I did get to see the final story of the night. It was about a guy who staged an elaborate musical number as a way to propose to his girlfriend. Lester told us that it has already been viewed over two million times on YouTube. I guess that means it qualifies as news. Not really, but then again, when did the Nightly News producers ever care about news? They care about showing the stories that will garner the largest audience so Brian and Lester can get the highest ratings. It's that simple. So that's why we saw a 2:20 story about a YouTube wedding proposal. Absolutely idiotic. On the one hand, it's amazing that the producers could treat the viewers with this much disdain. But on the other hand, it's equally amazing that the viewers allow themselves to be treated this way. Nightly News viewers are like people in an abusive relationship. The abuse goes on and on, but they never leave. Sad.
Mon. May 28--For a change, Nightly News began with more than four minutes of weather stories. The first three minutes was about Tropical Storm Beryl, which had already been downgraded to a Tropical Depression. The rest of the weather segment was devoted to telling us about the "Heat Wave" across the upper midwest, as if that's news. Let's face it--for every single day of the next three months, there will be a heat wave somewhere in the country. Is Nightly News going to report on every one of these heat waves? Actually, yes they are. Anytime the temperature hits 90 degrees somewhere in the U.S., Nightly News does a story on it. Well, it's certainly a cheap way to fill time. The Weather Channel correspondents and producers are already set up on site and reporting these stories, so there's virtually no added expense for the Nightly News producers to tap into these stories. Cheap stories are good. It keeps the overall profit margin high. And that's what really matters--the bottom line. If you don't think that network news is meant to be a money-earning operation, there's a bridge over the East River that I'd like to sell you. After a report from Jim Cantore, Savannah Guthrie (who was sitting in for Brian this night) said, "Our friend Jim Cantore from The Weather Channel." Why is it so important for every Nightly News anchor to pretend that the correspondents are their friends? Meanwhile, how silly Scott Pelley must have felt--over at CBS, he began his broadcast with reports about the Presidential campaign and the world financial markets before mentioning Beryl.
***Guthrie then took 25 seconds to scare us with a story about falling debris from an Air Canada jet taking off from Toronto. She called it an "Air Scare"--the standard phrase Nightly News uses to frighten viewers. The producers like to frighten viewers because frightened viewers tend to stay tuned in to find out what's going on. I'm not saying this story isn't newsworthy, but it certainly doesn't deserve to be reported in the first five minutes of the broadcast.
***News flash! College students are spending about 40% less time per week studying than they did fifty years ago. This is what merits two-and-a-half minutes of news time on Nightly News. This story could have been reported in 20 seconds, although I don't know why it was even reported at all.
***Guthrie then told us about two very important stories. First, she told us about the 75th anniversary celebration party for the Golden Gate Bridge. Sound familiar? It should--Brian spent two minutes reporting it on Friday's broadcast. Another Nightly News rerun story. Then Guthrie informed us that "Men In Black 3" was the top-grossing movie over the weekend. This entire 20-second story was comprised of clips from the movie. Because the producers know that a constant barrage of movie clips keeps the audience tuned in.
***The final story was a "Making A Difference" piece about an 84-year-old Montana woman who volunteers to help second-graders improve their reading and math skills. It's great that she's helping kids learn. But why is this news? Answer: It isn't. But since when is Nightly News concerned with reporting news? The producers' main concern is showing stories that are likely to attract viewers. News stories don't generate money. Sappy human-interest stories, however, do.
Tues. May 29--OMG! Nightly News began with a three-minute story about Syria. That's like a real news broadcast! Amazing. What could have possibly gotten into the producers? Someone must have temporarily de-programmed them from their cult.
***A news story about Mitt Romney was really about Donald Trump. That's a no-brainer. Trump has a show on NBC ("Celebrity Apprentice"), so it's the job of the Nightly News producers to promote it relentlessly. There's Trump on CNBC's "Squawk Box" spewing his birther garbage. There's Trump endorsing Romney. There's Trump holding a fund-raiser for Romney. There's Trump, Trump and more Trump. All of Trump's video and audio clips in this story added up to nearly a minute of free publicity for "Celebrity Apprentice". (Although the show is done for the season, it--and its ads--are still available on demand.)
***A story about the high murder rate in Chicago was titled "Deadly Days". Why do most Nightly News story titles sound like Daily News headlines? I guess it's because the Daily News (and all tabloids) and Nightly News share the same goal--to attract readers or viewers with tawdry, sensationalistic headlines.
***I had to watch this next story twice because I couldn't actually believe that a newscast would bother running it. But here it is: Women get shorter as they get older. Does this have anything to do with college students studying less? I cannot believe that the producers would devote two-and-a-half minutes to this story. But they did! Honey, I shrunk your grandma!
***It had been almost two weeks since Nightly News did a story about the Kennedy family, so one was long overdue. Brian showed us video of a ceremony to mark what would have been JFK's 95th birthday at Arlington National Cemetery. Funny thing--I've never seen Brian do a story commemorating the birth of Chester A. Arthur or James K. Polk. But then again, Brian doesn't have a teenage-like obsession with Arthur or Polk like he has with JFK. And remember--Brian gets to do whatever the hell he wants. End of discussion.
***Speaking of which--Brian's obsession with space-related events is almost as strong as his Kennedy obsession. Which is why he took 30 seconds to tell us that NASA is taking steps to protect American landing sites on the moon. The story carried the title "Sacred Ground". A bit overwrought, don't you think? Well, maybe not if you're Brian Williams. Subtle is not part of his shtick.
***This next story was stunning. At least that's what Brian thinks. In a story about Serena Williams' first-round loss at the French Open, Brian used the word "stunning" twice in 30 seconds to describe the upset. And the on-screen title was "Paris Stunner". So I guess "stunning" is the Sesame Street word of the day. Oh, by the way--do you know which network is showing weekend coverage of the French Open? That would be NBC. So this story was really just a way to promote to NBC's sports coverage.
***Next, Brian told us about Manhattanhenge, "when the setting sun perfectly lines up with the cross streets to create some spectacular views." I wish I had a dollar for every time Brian used the words "stunning" or "spectacular" on Nightly News. In the past month, he's used one or the other of those words to describe a solar flare, the space shuttle, a Mt. Etna eruption, the Northern Lights, a "Making A Difference" segment, an eclipse (for which he used both "stunning" and "spectacular") and the Golden Gate Bridge. Remember a time when anchors actually reported the news, instead of forcing their opinions onto the viewers? Ah, the good old days.
***The final segment was about this year's recipients of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. We saw clips of President Obama giving the medal to John Glenn, Toni Morrison, Madeleine Albright, John Paul Stevens, Pat Summitt and Bob Dylan. But of course, we couldn't expect Brian to show clips of some of the other recipients like Dolores Huerta, Shimon Peres or William Foege. Because they're just not glamorous enough. You get good ratings by showing clips of Pat Summitt, Bob Dylan and John Glenn, not by showing people the viewers have never heard of. If they're not famous or sexy, they don't get on Nightly News, goddammit.
Wed. May 30--Lester told us that, "A 747 cargo jet clipped the tail of a small commuter plane at Chicago's O'Hare airport today...." As he said this, the words "Runway Collision" appeared in giant letters over his left shoulder. What actually happened was that the 747's wingtip hit the commuter plane's tail. That is hardly a "collision". The Nightly News producers constantly blow facts out of proportion in order to make news stories appear more sensationalistic. That's not reporting, it's exploiting.
***OMG! I could not believe what I saw next. Lester actually reported that former Liberian President Charles Taylor had been sentenced to 50 years in prison by a court at the Hague for aiding and abetting war crimes that resulted in the deaths of thousands of people in Sierra Leone. Taylor's trial had been going on for years, but Nightly News never mentioned it before--with the possible exception of the time two years ago when Naomi Campbell and Mia Farrow testified as witnesses. Granted, tonight's Charles Taylor story was only 20 seconds long, but nevertheless, that's progress. It should be noted, however, that the producers had to wait until a night when Brian was not anchoring in order to sneak this story onto the broadcast. Brian never would have reported it because he knows that foreign news brings in lower ratings than stories about dogs, celebrities and the British Royal Family.
***A story about Nelson Mandela's appearance at an event marking the 100th anniversary of the African National Congress made me think back to Brian's 7/12/10 MSNBC.com Daily Nightly blog entry where he spelled Mandela's name as "Mandella". (The entry was subsequently corrected in an effort to protect Brian's credibility.)
***We were treated to a 2:15 story about the hidden fees of college-sponsored debit cards. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting for Nightly News to report on CNBC host Suze Orman's shady pre-paid debit card. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for Brian to report this story. But fortunately, you can find out all about it by googling "Suze Orman debit card".
***So what news is really important on this day? A six-year-old girl participated in the Scripps National Spelling Bee. This story was given 50 seconds of valuable news time--more than twice as much time as Lester devoted to the Charles Taylor story. Nightly News has its priorities, after all.
***Speaking of which--among Brian's and Lester's biggest priorities is promoting other NBC-affiliated programs. Which is why we saw a two-and-a-half minute "news report" about the History Channel's "Hatfields & McCoys" miniseries. This story was reported by sleazy shill Anne Thompson, who never disclosed that Comcast NBC Universal owns 15% of the History Channel's parent company, A & E Television Networks. So Nightly News was promoting a program (and a channel) that they profit from. But it gets even better. Last month, according to Wikipedia, "NBC Universal announced that it is selling a substantial part of its stake in A & E Networks". So using Nightly News to promote History's "Hatfields & McCoys" could drive up the value of the channel and bring in more profit when Comcast NBC U sells its stake in A & E. Double sleazy. But then again, this is Nightly News, king of the sleazebag newscasts. What else would you expect from them? By the way--just for good measure, Thompson and her producers threw in some clips from The Flintstones, Bugs Bunny and Family Feud. Because pandering to viewers with old TV clips is a proven way to boost ratings. And that's really what Nightly News is all about--boosting the ratings any way they can.
Thurs. May 31--Matt Lauer anchored the broadcast this night. If I were Brian, I would interpret this as a sign of things to come. A glimpse into the near future. Next time Brian thinks about taking a day off, he would do well to remember Wally Pipp. If you don't know who Pipp was, google him.
***After four-and-a-half minutes of reports about the mistrial in the John Edwards case, we were forced to endure another two minutes of Savannah Guthrie's pointless commentary. If Guthrie ever got her own show on MSNBC, it would have to be called "Stating The Obvious With Savannah Guthrie" because that's all she seems capable of doing. After Guthrie's simplistic, monotonous analysis, Lauer said, "NBC's Savannah Guthrie in the studio this morning". Morning, evening, whatever.
***We saw a 2:50 story about New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's intent to ban sales of sugary sodas in cups larger than 16 ounces. Ron Mott began and ended the story in Times Square standing in front of a giant video screen displaying an American flag. This was hilarious. We all know that Nightly News correspondents make a point of standing in front of flags whenever they are reporting political stories. It's de rigueur. A flag background is yet another way for the Nightly News producers to pander to the viewers' pseudo-patriotic God-Bless-America feelings. It's a ratings gimmick. Like they do on Fox News. And Mott is one of NBC's chief flag-seekers. He's drawn to the flag like a moth to a flame. But this wasn't even remotely a political story. It was a lifestyle/health story. Yet there was Mott standing in front of a giant flag. And he looked absolutely ridiculous. During the story, Mott told us that, "The federal government says Americans consume at least 22 teaspoons of sugar a day." But the accompanying on-screen graphic read "22 tbsp/day". So while Mott was talking about teaspoons, the graphic used the abbreviation for tablespoons. Big difference--a tablespoon contains three teaspoons. That reminds me of the 1999 NASA Mars Orbiter craft that crashed on Mars because the software was written in metric Newtons but the ground crew was entering data in imperial pounds. All I can say is--it's a good thing that Mott and his producers aren't working for NASA. After the story ended, Lauer saud, "Ron Mott in New York City this morning," Someone really should buy him a watch. And because this is such an important story, we also got to hear Dr. Nancy Snyderman's views on the subject for an additional 1:40. Finally, Lauer made sure to inform us that Mayor Bloomberg would be appearing on the following day's "Today Show". Of course. Because promoting other NBC shows is one of the main jobs of the Nightly News producers and anchors. Especially in this case because Lauer was promoting his own show.
***Later, we saw a story about teen drivers with ADHD. Is this really such a big problem that it merits a 2:20 story on Nightly News? When this story is added to the stories on the Edwards trial and the stories on Mayor Bloomberg's vendetta against sugary soda, they represent thirteen-and-a-half minutes--more than half the broadcast. That seems a bit excessive. Isn't there any real news going on? Obviously there is, but the Nightly News producers don't feel like reporting it.
***The broadcast ended with a 2:20 story about George W. Bush returning to the White House for the unveiling of his official portrait. I think this story could have been reported in...oh, let's say 20 seconds. But if they spent that little time on it, the producers would have had to report some real news. God forbid.
Fri. June 1--After a 4:15 story about jobs and the economy, Lester brought in David Gregory to spend a minute-and-a-half telling us that jobs would be a defining issue in the presidential race. Really, Nostradamus? You don't say. Gregory frequently gives Savannah Guthrie a run for her money as chief spokesperson for the "stating the obvious" contingent. Of course, the only reason Gregory was trotted out was so that he and Lester could promote Sunday's "Meet The Press". Mission accomplished.
***A story about the John Edwards mistrial featured "Today" footage of three of the jurors explaining their inability to agree on a verdict in five of the six counts. I guess if Lester is going to promote "Meet The Press", he also has to promote "Today". It only seems fair.
***Going into the second commercial break, the producers played a clip of Marilyn Monroe singing "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" as a promo for an upcoming story on Monroe. This is just another ratings-boosting trick of the weaselly Nightly News producers--using popular songs as a way to keep viewers tuned in. Of course, it works. When viewers hear a song they're familiar with, it keeps them from changing the channel. The producers did this eleven times in May (for example, on May 6, as a way to promote one of their many Supermoon stories, the producers played both "Fly Me To The Moon" and "Moondance").
***Here's how Lester introduced a story about the Scripps National Spelling Bee: "Now to yesterday's big moment from suburban Washington D.C...." Really? In the middle of the week in our nation's capital Lester thinks that the spelling bee was the "big moment" of the day? I think what he really meant was that it was the moment most likely to keep viewers interested in the broadcast, as opposed to all the boring economic and political stories he reports (or, more likely, fails to report).
***Finally it was time for the previously-teased Marilyn Monroe story. Today would have been her 86th birthday! Along with Elvis, JFK, the Beatles and James Dean, Monroe remains one of the defining pop culture icons of the 20th century. So the producers make a point of including her (and all those icons) in Nightly News broadcasts as often as possible.
***Lester took 25 seconds to tell us that it was National Donut Day. Or was it National Doughnut Day? The Peabody-winning Nightly News investigative staff didn't fully answer that question. Maybe they'll do a follow-up to this breaking news story. And Lester made sure to tell us that "Entenmann's pitched in with a giant box of doughnuts" because it's important to include product placements for NBC advertisers.
***To end the broadcast, we saw a three-minute story about Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee. Naturally, the story included several clips of Prince William talking to a BBC interviewer. Because when it comes to the British Royals, William (along with Kate and Harry) is the money shot. Something tells me that this won't be the last story we see on the British Royals over the next week. Just a feeling I have.
***Meanwhile, there were more executions and murders in Syria, and Ireland voted on the European Union fiscal treaty. Nightly News didn't cover these stories, but at least we know all about the spelling bee, Marilyn Monroe's 86th birthday and National Donut Day. Great job, Nightly News producers!
Here is some of the other stuff that went on at Nightly News (or perhaps I should say "Nitely News") this week:
Sat. May 26--What a surprise--Nightly News began with four minutes of weather stories. What a ridiculous abuse of the public trust. Instead of covering real news, the producers devote 10%-20% of every Nightly News broadcast to reporting on the weather solely as a way to justify the $3.5 billion that NBC Universal paid for The Weather Channel. That's journalistic malpractice. During one of the weather reports, ace journalist Kerry Sanders interviewed a Miami high school senior whose graduation party had to be moved indoors because of the heat. Great investigative journalism! That ought to win a Peabody Award or two.
***If there's anything the Nightly News producers love (aside from reporting on the weather), it's trying to scare the viewers with alarmist bogus medical stories. This time, it was the "Heart Risk?" from calcium supplements. Notice how the title contains a question mark? The producers frequently put a question mark after the title because that protects them against any legal action from the industry they are slandering. In this case, they aren't stating that there's a link between calcium supplements and heart attacks, they're simply asking the question. Obviously, the whole point of these stories is to boost the broadcast's ratings. People get scared that they're at risk for something, so they stay tuned to find out the details. It's a cheap and sleazy way to get ratings. This is the 16th alarmist medical story Nightly News has run in the past three months. Most of them are reported by Dr. Nancy Snyderman, although Robert Bazell reported this story. As a physician, Snyderman should be ashamed of what she's doing. Reporting these tawdry stories is a violation of the Hippocratic oath. On the other hand, Bazell is not a physycian and therefore has no moral or ethical responsibility to report the truth or to be concerned about the sensationalist crap he's spewing. During this particular report, a physician named Ethel Siris was identified as being from "NewYork [sic] Presbyterian/Columb...." I don't know what came after that because it faded off the screen and got lost in her white lab coat. And memo to the producers: "New York" is two words, not one word like it appeared in the graphic.
***Later, we saw a 2:20 story about the rising average age of visitors to America's National Parks. Really? This is news? No, but this is what passes for news on Nightly News. What a joke. In his intro, Lester Holt referred to these parks as "national treasures". Obviously, this was just another Nightly News propaganda piece designed to draw visitors to the National Parks. Why? Because Brian has made it one of his goals over the past six years to be a cheerleader for the National Parks. His greasy fingerprints are all over this story.
***Here's how Lester introduced the next story: "We wanted to show you the viral video that's got a lot of folks talking once they pick their jaws up from the floor." It was about an 81-year-old sky diver who fell out of her harness and had to hang onto her instructor during descent. When did it become the job of a news organization to show viral videos? Isn't that why we have YouTube? Lester ended the story by telling us that the sky diver would be appearing on Sunday's "Today Show". Oh, now I get it. The only reason they showed this idiotic "news story" was to promote the next day's "Today Show"! What an appalling breach of journalistic ethics. When is the FCC finally going to revoke NBC's license to broadcast this sham newscast?
***The final story was about a Vietnam veteran in Idaho who created a "field of heroes" to memorialize the servicemen and women who died in Iraq and Afghanistan. Okay--that's a nice thing to do. But it isn't news. In truth, it was just another one of those Nightly News rah-rah, gung-ho, flag waving, God-Bless-America stories designed to boost ratings with its pseudo-patriotoc gobbledygook. Nightly News airs these stories all the time because Brian and his producers have calculated that these types of stories attract lots of viewers. And I'm sure they do. No one ever lost viewers by showing a few dozen waving flags. Just ask the people at Fox News. By the way--twice during the broadcast, Lester promoted this as a "Making A Difference" story, but when it finally aired it didn't carry the MAD logo. I think Lester should start attending the afternoon production meetings.
Sun. May 27--Because of a DVR screw-up, I missed the first 20 minutes of the broadcast. So I'd like to give a great big shout out to all the incompetent idiots at Time Warner Cable and their crappy DVR recorders. Thanks a lot, guys!
***Fortunately, I did get to see the final story of the night. It was about a guy who staged an elaborate musical number as a way to propose to his girlfriend. Lester told us that it has already been viewed over two million times on YouTube. I guess that means it qualifies as news. Not really, but then again, when did the Nightly News producers ever care about news? They care about showing the stories that will garner the largest audience so Brian and Lester can get the highest ratings. It's that simple. So that's why we saw a 2:20 story about a YouTube wedding proposal. Absolutely idiotic. On the one hand, it's amazing that the producers could treat the viewers with this much disdain. But on the other hand, it's equally amazing that the viewers allow themselves to be treated this way. Nightly News viewers are like people in an abusive relationship. The abuse goes on and on, but they never leave. Sad.
Mon. May 28--For a change, Nightly News began with more than four minutes of weather stories. The first three minutes was about Tropical Storm Beryl, which had already been downgraded to a Tropical Depression. The rest of the weather segment was devoted to telling us about the "Heat Wave" across the upper midwest, as if that's news. Let's face it--for every single day of the next three months, there will be a heat wave somewhere in the country. Is Nightly News going to report on every one of these heat waves? Actually, yes they are. Anytime the temperature hits 90 degrees somewhere in the U.S., Nightly News does a story on it. Well, it's certainly a cheap way to fill time. The Weather Channel correspondents and producers are already set up on site and reporting these stories, so there's virtually no added expense for the Nightly News producers to tap into these stories. Cheap stories are good. It keeps the overall profit margin high. And that's what really matters--the bottom line. If you don't think that network news is meant to be a money-earning operation, there's a bridge over the East River that I'd like to sell you. After a report from Jim Cantore, Savannah Guthrie (who was sitting in for Brian this night) said, "Our friend Jim Cantore from The Weather Channel." Why is it so important for every Nightly News anchor to pretend that the correspondents are their friends? Meanwhile, how silly Scott Pelley must have felt--over at CBS, he began his broadcast with reports about the Presidential campaign and the world financial markets before mentioning Beryl.
***Guthrie then took 25 seconds to scare us with a story about falling debris from an Air Canada jet taking off from Toronto. She called it an "Air Scare"--the standard phrase Nightly News uses to frighten viewers. The producers like to frighten viewers because frightened viewers tend to stay tuned in to find out what's going on. I'm not saying this story isn't newsworthy, but it certainly doesn't deserve to be reported in the first five minutes of the broadcast.
***News flash! College students are spending about 40% less time per week studying than they did fifty years ago. This is what merits two-and-a-half minutes of news time on Nightly News. This story could have been reported in 20 seconds, although I don't know why it was even reported at all.
***Guthrie then told us about two very important stories. First, she told us about the 75th anniversary celebration party for the Golden Gate Bridge. Sound familiar? It should--Brian spent two minutes reporting it on Friday's broadcast. Another Nightly News rerun story. Then Guthrie informed us that "Men In Black 3" was the top-grossing movie over the weekend. This entire 20-second story was comprised of clips from the movie. Because the producers know that a constant barrage of movie clips keeps the audience tuned in.
***The final story was a "Making A Difference" piece about an 84-year-old Montana woman who volunteers to help second-graders improve their reading and math skills. It's great that she's helping kids learn. But why is this news? Answer: It isn't. But since when is Nightly News concerned with reporting news? The producers' main concern is showing stories that are likely to attract viewers. News stories don't generate money. Sappy human-interest stories, however, do.
Tues. May 29--OMG! Nightly News began with a three-minute story about Syria. That's like a real news broadcast! Amazing. What could have possibly gotten into the producers? Someone must have temporarily de-programmed them from their cult.
***A news story about Mitt Romney was really about Donald Trump. That's a no-brainer. Trump has a show on NBC ("Celebrity Apprentice"), so it's the job of the Nightly News producers to promote it relentlessly. There's Trump on CNBC's "Squawk Box" spewing his birther garbage. There's Trump endorsing Romney. There's Trump holding a fund-raiser for Romney. There's Trump, Trump and more Trump. All of Trump's video and audio clips in this story added up to nearly a minute of free publicity for "Celebrity Apprentice". (Although the show is done for the season, it--and its ads--are still available on demand.)
***A story about the high murder rate in Chicago was titled "Deadly Days". Why do most Nightly News story titles sound like Daily News headlines? I guess it's because the Daily News (and all tabloids) and Nightly News share the same goal--to attract readers or viewers with tawdry, sensationalistic headlines.
***I had to watch this next story twice because I couldn't actually believe that a newscast would bother running it. But here it is: Women get shorter as they get older. Does this have anything to do with college students studying less? I cannot believe that the producers would devote two-and-a-half minutes to this story. But they did! Honey, I shrunk your grandma!
***It had been almost two weeks since Nightly News did a story about the Kennedy family, so one was long overdue. Brian showed us video of a ceremony to mark what would have been JFK's 95th birthday at Arlington National Cemetery. Funny thing--I've never seen Brian do a story commemorating the birth of Chester A. Arthur or James K. Polk. But then again, Brian doesn't have a teenage-like obsession with Arthur or Polk like he has with JFK. And remember--Brian gets to do whatever the hell he wants. End of discussion.
***Speaking of which--Brian's obsession with space-related events is almost as strong as his Kennedy obsession. Which is why he took 30 seconds to tell us that NASA is taking steps to protect American landing sites on the moon. The story carried the title "Sacred Ground". A bit overwrought, don't you think? Well, maybe not if you're Brian Williams. Subtle is not part of his shtick.
***This next story was stunning. At least that's what Brian thinks. In a story about Serena Williams' first-round loss at the French Open, Brian used the word "stunning" twice in 30 seconds to describe the upset. And the on-screen title was "Paris Stunner". So I guess "stunning" is the Sesame Street word of the day. Oh, by the way--do you know which network is showing weekend coverage of the French Open? That would be NBC. So this story was really just a way to promote to NBC's sports coverage.
***Next, Brian told us about Manhattanhenge, "when the setting sun perfectly lines up with the cross streets to create some spectacular views." I wish I had a dollar for every time Brian used the words "stunning" or "spectacular" on Nightly News. In the past month, he's used one or the other of those words to describe a solar flare, the space shuttle, a Mt. Etna eruption, the Northern Lights, a "Making A Difference" segment, an eclipse (for which he used both "stunning" and "spectacular") and the Golden Gate Bridge. Remember a time when anchors actually reported the news, instead of forcing their opinions onto the viewers? Ah, the good old days.
***The final segment was about this year's recipients of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. We saw clips of President Obama giving the medal to John Glenn, Toni Morrison, Madeleine Albright, John Paul Stevens, Pat Summitt and Bob Dylan. But of course, we couldn't expect Brian to show clips of some of the other recipients like Dolores Huerta, Shimon Peres or William Foege. Because they're just not glamorous enough. You get good ratings by showing clips of Pat Summitt, Bob Dylan and John Glenn, not by showing people the viewers have never heard of. If they're not famous or sexy, they don't get on Nightly News, goddammit.
Wed. May 30--Lester told us that, "A 747 cargo jet clipped the tail of a small commuter plane at Chicago's O'Hare airport today...." As he said this, the words "Runway Collision" appeared in giant letters over his left shoulder. What actually happened was that the 747's wingtip hit the commuter plane's tail. That is hardly a "collision". The Nightly News producers constantly blow facts out of proportion in order to make news stories appear more sensationalistic. That's not reporting, it's exploiting.
***OMG! I could not believe what I saw next. Lester actually reported that former Liberian President Charles Taylor had been sentenced to 50 years in prison by a court at the Hague for aiding and abetting war crimes that resulted in the deaths of thousands of people in Sierra Leone. Taylor's trial had been going on for years, but Nightly News never mentioned it before--with the possible exception of the time two years ago when Naomi Campbell and Mia Farrow testified as witnesses. Granted, tonight's Charles Taylor story was only 20 seconds long, but nevertheless, that's progress. It should be noted, however, that the producers had to wait until a night when Brian was not anchoring in order to sneak this story onto the broadcast. Brian never would have reported it because he knows that foreign news brings in lower ratings than stories about dogs, celebrities and the British Royal Family.
***A story about Nelson Mandela's appearance at an event marking the 100th anniversary of the African National Congress made me think back to Brian's 7/12/10 MSNBC.com Daily Nightly blog entry where he spelled Mandela's name as "Mandella". (The entry was subsequently corrected in an effort to protect Brian's credibility.)
***We were treated to a 2:15 story about the hidden fees of college-sponsored debit cards. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting for Nightly News to report on CNBC host Suze Orman's shady pre-paid debit card. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for Brian to report this story. But fortunately, you can find out all about it by googling "Suze Orman debit card".
***So what news is really important on this day? A six-year-old girl participated in the Scripps National Spelling Bee. This story was given 50 seconds of valuable news time--more than twice as much time as Lester devoted to the Charles Taylor story. Nightly News has its priorities, after all.
***Speaking of which--among Brian's and Lester's biggest priorities is promoting other NBC-affiliated programs. Which is why we saw a two-and-a-half minute "news report" about the History Channel's "Hatfields & McCoys" miniseries. This story was reported by sleazy shill Anne Thompson, who never disclosed that Comcast NBC Universal owns 15% of the History Channel's parent company, A & E Television Networks. So Nightly News was promoting a program (and a channel) that they profit from. But it gets even better. Last month, according to Wikipedia, "NBC Universal announced that it is selling a substantial part of its stake in A & E Networks". So using Nightly News to promote History's "Hatfields & McCoys" could drive up the value of the channel and bring in more profit when Comcast NBC U sells its stake in A & E. Double sleazy. But then again, this is Nightly News, king of the sleazebag newscasts. What else would you expect from them? By the way--just for good measure, Thompson and her producers threw in some clips from The Flintstones, Bugs Bunny and Family Feud. Because pandering to viewers with old TV clips is a proven way to boost ratings. And that's really what Nightly News is all about--boosting the ratings any way they can.
Thurs. May 31--Matt Lauer anchored the broadcast this night. If I were Brian, I would interpret this as a sign of things to come. A glimpse into the near future. Next time Brian thinks about taking a day off, he would do well to remember Wally Pipp. If you don't know who Pipp was, google him.
***After four-and-a-half minutes of reports about the mistrial in the John Edwards case, we were forced to endure another two minutes of Savannah Guthrie's pointless commentary. If Guthrie ever got her own show on MSNBC, it would have to be called "Stating The Obvious With Savannah Guthrie" because that's all she seems capable of doing. After Guthrie's simplistic, monotonous analysis, Lauer said, "NBC's Savannah Guthrie in the studio this morning". Morning, evening, whatever.
***We saw a 2:50 story about New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's intent to ban sales of sugary sodas in cups larger than 16 ounces. Ron Mott began and ended the story in Times Square standing in front of a giant video screen displaying an American flag. This was hilarious. We all know that Nightly News correspondents make a point of standing in front of flags whenever they are reporting political stories. It's de rigueur. A flag background is yet another way for the Nightly News producers to pander to the viewers' pseudo-patriotic God-Bless-America feelings. It's a ratings gimmick. Like they do on Fox News. And Mott is one of NBC's chief flag-seekers. He's drawn to the flag like a moth to a flame. But this wasn't even remotely a political story. It was a lifestyle/health story. Yet there was Mott standing in front of a giant flag. And he looked absolutely ridiculous. During the story, Mott told us that, "The federal government says Americans consume at least 22 teaspoons of sugar a day." But the accompanying on-screen graphic read "22 tbsp/day". So while Mott was talking about teaspoons, the graphic used the abbreviation for tablespoons. Big difference--a tablespoon contains three teaspoons. That reminds me of the 1999 NASA Mars Orbiter craft that crashed on Mars because the software was written in metric Newtons but the ground crew was entering data in imperial pounds. All I can say is--it's a good thing that Mott and his producers aren't working for NASA. After the story ended, Lauer saud, "Ron Mott in New York City this morning," Someone really should buy him a watch. And because this is such an important story, we also got to hear Dr. Nancy Snyderman's views on the subject for an additional 1:40. Finally, Lauer made sure to inform us that Mayor Bloomberg would be appearing on the following day's "Today Show". Of course. Because promoting other NBC shows is one of the main jobs of the Nightly News producers and anchors. Especially in this case because Lauer was promoting his own show.
***Later, we saw a story about teen drivers with ADHD. Is this really such a big problem that it merits a 2:20 story on Nightly News? When this story is added to the stories on the Edwards trial and the stories on Mayor Bloomberg's vendetta against sugary soda, they represent thirteen-and-a-half minutes--more than half the broadcast. That seems a bit excessive. Isn't there any real news going on? Obviously there is, but the Nightly News producers don't feel like reporting it.
***The broadcast ended with a 2:20 story about George W. Bush returning to the White House for the unveiling of his official portrait. I think this story could have been reported in...oh, let's say 20 seconds. But if they spent that little time on it, the producers would have had to report some real news. God forbid.
Fri. June 1--After a 4:15 story about jobs and the economy, Lester brought in David Gregory to spend a minute-and-a-half telling us that jobs would be a defining issue in the presidential race. Really, Nostradamus? You don't say. Gregory frequently gives Savannah Guthrie a run for her money as chief spokesperson for the "stating the obvious" contingent. Of course, the only reason Gregory was trotted out was so that he and Lester could promote Sunday's "Meet The Press". Mission accomplished.
***A story about the John Edwards mistrial featured "Today" footage of three of the jurors explaining their inability to agree on a verdict in five of the six counts. I guess if Lester is going to promote "Meet The Press", he also has to promote "Today". It only seems fair.
***Going into the second commercial break, the producers played a clip of Marilyn Monroe singing "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" as a promo for an upcoming story on Monroe. This is just another ratings-boosting trick of the weaselly Nightly News producers--using popular songs as a way to keep viewers tuned in. Of course, it works. When viewers hear a song they're familiar with, it keeps them from changing the channel. The producers did this eleven times in May (for example, on May 6, as a way to promote one of their many Supermoon stories, the producers played both "Fly Me To The Moon" and "Moondance").
***Here's how Lester introduced a story about the Scripps National Spelling Bee: "Now to yesterday's big moment from suburban Washington D.C...." Really? In the middle of the week in our nation's capital Lester thinks that the spelling bee was the "big moment" of the day? I think what he really meant was that it was the moment most likely to keep viewers interested in the broadcast, as opposed to all the boring economic and political stories he reports (or, more likely, fails to report).
***Finally it was time for the previously-teased Marilyn Monroe story. Today would have been her 86th birthday! Along with Elvis, JFK, the Beatles and James Dean, Monroe remains one of the defining pop culture icons of the 20th century. So the producers make a point of including her (and all those icons) in Nightly News broadcasts as often as possible.
***Lester took 25 seconds to tell us that it was National Donut Day. Or was it National Doughnut Day? The Peabody-winning Nightly News investigative staff didn't fully answer that question. Maybe they'll do a follow-up to this breaking news story. And Lester made sure to tell us that "Entenmann's pitched in with a giant box of doughnuts" because it's important to include product placements for NBC advertisers.
***To end the broadcast, we saw a three-minute story about Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee. Naturally, the story included several clips of Prince William talking to a BBC interviewer. Because when it comes to the British Royals, William (along with Kate and Harry) is the money shot. Something tells me that this won't be the last story we see on the British Royals over the next week. Just a feeling I have.
***Meanwhile, there were more executions and murders in Syria, and Ireland voted on the European Union fiscal treaty. Nightly News didn't cover these stories, but at least we know all about the spelling bee, Marilyn Monroe's 86th birthday and National Donut Day. Great job, Nightly News producers!
Friday, May 25, 2012
Brian Williams & NBC Nightly News Show Notes: 5/19/12 Through 5/25/12 (Revised--Full Week)
Here's some of the great stuff you may have missed on NBC Nightly News this past week:
Sat. May 19--Surprise--there was no Nightly News this day because of the Preakness. Once again, NBC devoted two hours to a two-minute horse race. What a great allocation of programming time.
Sun. May 20--A one-minute story about Tropical Storm Alberto featured The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore outdoors in Charleston, South Carolina. As we watched Cantore, there was no rain, no wind, no evidence of a storm. So even why bother reporting this non-event? Here's why: Because NBC Universal spent $3.5 billion to buy The Weather Channel and they make sure they damn well use it--every night, whether or not it's necessary. It's pathetic how much time Nightly News wastes on weather events solely to justify NBC Universal's purchase. By the way, one of NBC Universal's partners in the Weather Channel acquisition was Bain Capital--well known these days as Mitt Romney's former firm. I have never once heard Brian Williams or anyone else on Nightly News offer that disclosure when reporting on Mitt Romney's association with Bain. I guess it must have slipped Brian's mind.
***Lester Holt spent 35 seconds reporting the death of the Bee Gees' Robin Gibb. Fair enough--Gibb deserves that much time. But something tells me this may become relevant on Monday.
***Lester then told us about the "spectacular" eclipse that was happening that night. Yeah--we know because Brian already told us about it on Friday. As usual, Brian's childish fixation on space events means that we are forced to see reports on these events almost every night.
***This next story was hilarious. Lester took 55 seconds to report that Brian Williams had delivered the commencement address at George Washington University's graduation. This "news story" included a thirty-second excerpt from Brian's pompous self-involved speech. In this brief excerpt, he used the word "us" five times and the word "I" twice. Hardly surprising. There's nothing Brian likes reporting on more than himself. Obviously, Brian ordered his producers to feature his address as a news story because of his raging, out-of-control narcissism. And I'm certain that this isn't the last time we'll see Brian deliver his speech on Nightly News. Mark my words--I guarantee that it will appear again.
***After that, Lester told us about a Babe Ruth game-worn jersey that sold for more than $4.4 million at auction. This story was given 23 seconds. The previous story about Brian's commencement speech was given 55 seconds. So I guess that means that Brian is twice as important as Babe Ruth. At least that's the case if you ask Brian. Lester began this story by saying, "Eight decades after his last major league at-bat, Babe Ruth is still the king." Actually, Ruth's last major league at-bat was in 1935. That was 77 years earlier--not eight decades. Can someone please buy Lester a baseball stat book?
***Next, Lester spent 45 seconds recapping the Preakness. Since the horse that won--I'll Have Another--also won the Kentucky Derby, there's a chance that we could have a Triple Crown winner this year. And which network is televising the Belmont Stakes, the third leg of the Triple Crown? That would be NBC. So this was just a 45-second promo for an upcoming NBC event. And just in case we missed the point, Lester ended the story by telling us that the Belmont Stakes airs June 9--on NBC. Shameless.
***The final story was a 2:20 piece about Mark Zuckerberg's exciting week. First Facebook goes public, then he gets married! Awesome! This wasn't a news story, it was a pop culture fluff profile. The story included clips from the Zuckerberg bio-pic "The Social Network". Let me make sure I understand this. There's probably hundreds of hours of video of the actual Zuckerberg, but the idiot Nightly News producers felt the need to use clips from a movie. Well, we all know that the Nightly News formula includes the frequent use of movie and TV clips because that helps boost the ratings. So why should we expect that to change?
Mon. May 21--Here's how Brian introduced a story about Newark Mayor Cory Booker's appearance on "Meet The Press": "And it's happened again--Sunday morning on 'Meet The Press' it was another comment by a politician was rather stunning at first...." So as far as Brian is concerned, the big story was not what Booker said, but that it was said on MTP. Typical self-promotional bullshit from NBC's chief carnival barker. Actually, what Booker said was important, but not only for the reasons described by Peter Alexander. Booker expressed his distaste for the way in which Pres. Obama has criticized Mitt Romney for his work with Bain Capital. Furthermore, Booker actually praised Bain for their work in helping small businesses. Okay--one of Pres. Obama's main supporters voiced some criticism towards the President. That's news. But there's another aspect to this story. As I mentioned earlier, Bain Capital was NBC Universal's partner in their acquisition of The Weather Channel. So playing up Booker's criticism of Obama's attack on Bain--and emphasizing Booker's praise of Bain--amounts to a defense of Bain by NBC. And again, Brian's refusal to disclose that NBC is a business partner of Bain fails the ethical smell test. Once again, Nightly News is reporting news not objectively, but in a way that supports its own interests.
***Brian reported on Mark Zuckerberg's wedding, a story that Nightly News had already covered on Sunday.
***Brian then reported on the sentencing of Dharun Ravi, the Rutgers student who surreptitiously recorded his roommate's liaison with another man just days before the roommate killed himself. During this story, a Nightly News graphic spelled Ravi's first name as "Dhuran". Maybe the producers thought he was in the band Dhuran Dhuran. It's pathetic that the producers can't even manage to correctly spell the name of the defendant in a trial they're covering.
***After that, Brian read an obituary for Robin Gibb. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah--now I remember. Lester read Gibb's obit on Sunday's Nightly News. Obviously, Brian doesn't consider a story to be reported unless he personally reports it.
***Next, Brian told us about the death of Eugene Polley, who had invented the cordless TV remote control. Here's what Brian said about Polley: "He is the reason behind a lot of large behinds in this country." What a dignified way to memorialize someone. And what a dignified thing for a network news anchor to say. But as we all know, Brian is more concerned with impressing the viewers by saying things he believes are clever and less concerned with dignity.
***Brian spent 30 seconds recapping the results of Sunday's Preakness race. Hmmm...again, this sounds familiar. That's because Lester already reported the Preakness results on Sunday's Nightly News. But of course, the purpose of this story was to again promote the Belmont Stakes (June 9 on NBC), so we can expect Brian to repeat this story many more times before then. Promoting NBC's sports and entertainment programming is one of Brian's main jobs as Nightly News anchor.
***Speaking of which--Brian then told us all about Kristen Wiig's final Saturday Night Live show. He called it a "poignant, tear-streaked moment". Remember when news anchors reported news instead of telling us how we're supposed to feel about it? But then again, a real news anchor would never waste our time with this silly self-promotional non-story. Is there any chance that Brian would have bothered reporting it if it didn't take place on NBC? Of course not.
***The broadcast ended with a two-minute story about Sunday's eclipse. This is the third eclipse story Nightly News has done in four days (and remember--there was no Nightly News on Saturday). And in keeping with his practice of telling us how we should feel about things, Brian described it as "spectacular"--a word he uses all the time to convey his personal impression of various space events. The story was titled "Ring of Fire"--the name of a popular song recorded by Johnny Cash (among others). The Nightly News producers frequently give their stories titles that are lifted from songs, TV shows or movies in order to make them sound more interesting to the viewers (if viewers are more interested, the ratings go up). So altogether, Brian reported four stories (Mark Zuckerberg's wedding, Robin Gibb's death, the Preakness, the eclipse) that had already been reported Sunday on Nightly News. Those four stories represent 4:10 of news time that was spent on re-runs. Here's a suggestion: Instead of reporting re-runs, how about reporting on Africa, Europe and Eastern Asia--regions that are routinely ignored by Brian and his producers. But then again, most of the stories on Nightly News--re-runs or otherwise--are reported for their ratings value, not their news value. That's the Nightly News way.
Tues. May 22--The lead story was the woman on a U.S. Air flight that was acting irrationally and claiming that she had a surgically-implanted device inside her. It was titled "Air Scare" because the goal of the Nightly News producers is to scare viewers away from changing the channel. Making a minor event sound alarmist is good for ratings.
***Remember last May 25 when Brian shamelessly exploited poor Bethany Lansaw, whose husband was killed while protecting her during the tornado in Joplin, Missouri three days earlier? What a shameless and grotesque exploitation of this poor woman's suffering. What a horrible thing to put her through. She was 24 or 48 hours removed from tragically losing her husband (depending on when that interview was taped) and Brian was right there like a scavenging vulture to take advantage of her misfortune in order to gain a few ratings points. Well, guess what? He's at it again. He spent three minutes re-visiting Lansaw a year later, because dredging up her misery means nothing to Brian as long as it helps his ratings. Appalling. There's a special place in hell reserved for Brian Williams. Naturally, as Brian was introducing this story, the box over his left shoulder showed video clips from his 2011 interview with Lansaw. So Brian's image was on-screen twice at the same time. That sounds about right for a raging egomaniac. This follow-up story also included a significant amount of footage from the 2011 story (including lots of clips of Brian), because Brian's goal at all times is to call attention to himself--even when he's preying on the suffering of others.
***Next, it was time for another alarmist health-scare story. This one was about the link between sleep apnea and cancer. The message of this story: If you snore or don't feel rested after sleep, you're going to get cancer. Like the "Air Scare" story earlier, these alarmist stories keep viewers from changing the channel because we want to find out if we're going to die soon. As usual, this story also had an alarmist title: "Cancer Risk?" Be afraid. Be very afraid.
***After that, Brian took 45 seconds to tell us that traffic congestion dropped 30% since last year. Is this really a story that needs to be reported on a network news broadcast? It doesn't matter. Brian gets to report whatever he wants.
***Speaking of which, here's what Brian reported next: Airlines will start charging a fee for consecutive seats so families will have to pay more to sit together. This is a ridiculous non-story. People will find about the fees when they book their flights, and there's really not much they can do about it. Nevertheless, this silly story was given a whopping 2:10 of air time. Why? Because Brian is obsessed with the airline industry and feels compelled to report every bit of airline news, no matter how irrelevant. And here's how Brian introduced the story: "Here we are in the era of airline fees--the era of paying for any and every extra that the airlines can get out of US." Us? Really? Are airline fees a problem for Brian and his $15 million annual salary? And how often does he even fly commercial? Comcast and NBC have corporate jets specially reserved for bigwigs like Brian and Matt Lauer so they don't have to mingle with the riff-raff at airports.
***Later, Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about a Kansas couple whose wedding photo and video featured a tornado in the background. I'm not sure why this was on a newscast, but I assume it was because Brian wanted it on. That's the only reason necessary.
***Next, he spent 40 seconds telling us about an app that displays eating habits around the country. He ended the story by saying, "Graphic evidence of your potato chips, your Mallomars, your Haagen-Dazs." So it's just a coincidence that he mentioned those two brands by name, right? Wrong. It was another calculated product placement by the marketing geniuses at NBC Nightly News, who constantly strive to turn their broadcast into one massive commercial for their best advertisers. Mallomars are manufactured by food behemoth Kraft, and Haagen-Dazs is jointly controlled (in the U.S.) by Nestle and General Mills. How much money do those companies spend each year advertising on all of the Comcast/NBC Universal television networks? It's not just NBC, CNBC and MSNBC. Comcast/NBC also owns Bravo, Chiller, Oxygen, Cloo (formerly Sleuth), SyFy, Telemundo, MUN2, The Weather Channel, USA, E!, The Golf Channel, The Style Network and NBC Sports Network (formerly Versus). Comcast/NBC also has an ownership interest in A&E Networks, which includes The History Channel, The Biography Channel and Lifetime. So when Brian mentions a specific consumer product, it's not random. It's done as a thank-you to the product's manufacturer for all the advertising dollars they spend with Comcast/NBC. There are no accidents on Nightly News.
***Brian then took 25 seconds to tell us about a man at a Cincinnati Reds game who caught two back-to-back home run balls in the same inning. Because Nightly News is all about the hard news.
***The final story if the night was about a hearing-impaired high school pitcher in New Jersey. That's great. We all wish him luck. But this isn't news and it doesn't belong on a news broadcast. Of course, Brian and his producers don't care about news. Their primary concern is getting high ratings by airing sappy, feel-good stories like this one. So mission accomplished!
Wed. May 23--The lead stories were about the "Facebook Fallout". I almost fell out of my chair when I heard Brian say this to Andrew Ross Sorkin: "So correct me if I'm wrong--is this a case of the rich get richer--another advantage to the 1%....?" Um, note to Brian: YOU'RE IN THE 1%! Actually, he's probably in the .1% or maybe even in the .01%. He's the super-rich. Yet night after night he pretends to be a good old reg'lar guy. He dons the persona of a character in a Springsteen song, like he gets up in the morning, puts on his work boots, heads out to the factory, punches the time clock, works nine hours, punches out when the whistle blows and goes out with his buddies for beers. What a joke. Does he really believe that anyone buys this bullshit act? How many shares of Facebook did Brian buy? I mean how many thousands of shares? Puh-leeze!
***In a story about the Secret Service prostitution scandal, as Pete Williams was talking about prostitutes, the producers showed video of the legs of women sunning themselves at a pool. Their faces were not shown, but they looked like college kids on vacation. Since when did vacationers' legs become the universal symbol for prostitutes? Only on Nightly News. And the producers do this every time they report on the Secret Service scandal. If they have footage of prostitutes, then they should use it. If not, stop showing regular women as stand-ins for hookers. I hope those women sue NBC for character defamation.
***Just in case we weren't sufficiently scared on Tuesday, the producers ran another "Air Scare" story about the deranged woman on a U.S. Air flight who claimed to have a device surgically implanted in her body. Remember, scared viewers equal high ratings.
***The next story was about the elections in Egypt. The first 15 seconds of the story--during Brian's introduction--consisted of old video (from February, 2011) of Brian walking around Tahrir Square talking to Egyptian people. What a fucking egomaniac! He never misses an opportunity to show old video of himself. Just when I think Brian can't get any more narcissistic, he outdoes himself.
***A story about new additions to the Library of Congress was just an excuse to show clips of Donna Summer and "A Charlie Brown Christmas". Because pop culture gets good ratings.
***Brian took 30 seconds to tell us the important news that United Airlines will no longer allow pre-boarding for parents with small children. Once again, Brian's obsession with the airline industry has caused him to report an item with little news value. But that's what Nightly News is about--allowing Brian to report stuff that's important to HIM.
***Speaking of which--the next story was about Prince Charles taking a turn as a DJ. Zero news value, but Brian is completely obsessed with the British Royal family. Remember Brian's May 10 story about Prince Charles filling in as a weatherman for the BBC in Scotland? Brian spent twice as much time on that story as BBC World News America--and they're a British newscast! So obviously Prince Charles spinning some discs merits coverage on Nightly News. Because Brian said so.
***The broadcast ended with a story about "Fifty Shades of Grey"--the porn novel for women. This is what you would call a no-brainer for Brian and his producers. It's certainly not news, but porn is titillating, so this story undoubtedly generated good ratings for Nightly News. The story was reported by the idiotic Anne Thompson. I'm sure she was intimately familiar with "Fifty Shades", since she seems like she hasn't had a boyfriend in a long, long time.
Thurs. May 24--The broadcast began with more than four minutes devoted to the weather. The hell with all the important news stories going on across the country and around the world--Brian and his producers decided to spend four minutes promoting The Weather Channel. The first two-and-a-half minutes was a pointless segment that recapped the "extreme weather" of the past 12 months and featured some weather experts who told us that this year we would see a normal hurricane season. So last year's weather re-runs and a prediction of a normal season somehow qualifies as news.
***Next, Brian spent 25 seconds kissing Rick Knabb's ass: "And with us tonight, the hurricane expert at The Weather Channel who we are proud to say has been selected and is about to become the new director of the National Hurricane Center. And Rick, can you blame a civilian like me for askin' a guy like you--in light of...we saw New England torn up this year, Joplin, Tuscaloosa, all the severe weather--why wouldn't that mean an equally severe hurricane season en route?" Actually, I can answer Brian's obsequious, idiotic question: Because one year's hurricane activity is in no way a determinant of the following year's hurricane activity. Any other stupid questions? And did you notice how Brian intentionally referred to himself as a "civilian"? That's just another calculated way for him to try to paint himself as a regular old working class guy. Yep--Brian is a good old boy, just like all of us. And just to drive the point home, Brian said "askin'", not "asking". Because working-class stiffs don't pronounce their g's. What a phony.
***During Andrea Mitchell's story about growing tension between the U.S. and Pakistan, we were shown an excerpt from her MSNBC show, "Andrea Mitchell Reports". But in the on-screen credit line, there were no quotes around the show's title. Quote marks around show titles are arbitrary. They're at the whim of the Nightly News producers. Sometimes they're there, sometimes not. Whatever.
***After Mitchell's story, Brian took 22 seconds to make excuses for not having Defense Secretary Leon Panetta on the broadcast (apparently he was scheduled to appear). Yeah, we get it. The dog ate your homework. But if the viewers didn't know that Panetta was supposed to appear, why even bother mentioning it? Because Brian likes making himself sound important by talking about his interviews (real or imagined) with government officials.
***A story about the New Orleans newspaper The Times-Picayune was just an excuse for Brian to fawningly pander to that city: "Bad news arrived today from a great American city where this broadcast has spent a lot of time and put down roots, really, in the years since Hurricane Katrina. New Orleans, Louisiana is easy to love, it's a city full of survivors who believe the good times must roll on...." How sickening. Brian is using the Katrina disaster to make himself seem like the savior of New Orleans. Put down roots? Really? I'd like to see the paperwork on that.
***Brian took 30 seconds to report the important story that the father of New England Patriots' quarterback Tom Brady said he might have been hesitant to let his son play football years ago if he knew then what he knows now about the dangers of head injuries and concussions. This story has zero news value--it's just part of the producers' weaselly scheme to reinforce NBC's high-rated Sunday Night Football broadcasts by reporting on football stories in the off-season. Just a not-so-subtle reminder to the viewers that it's less than four months until football season begins. This story was titled "Father Knows Best". The producers frequently give their stories names taken from TV shows, movies or popular songs because they know that viewers' interest is piqued (and maintained) if they recognize a familiar title.
***The final story was about older actors who are currently appearing in Broadway plays. This ridiculous story was just an excuse to show celebrities like James Earl Jones, Angela Lansbury and Joel Grey. Naturally, the story included clips from "Star Wars" (Jones), "Murder, She Wrote" (Lansbury) and "Cabaret" (Grey). Funny thing--the story was supposed to be about actors on Broadway, yet it included movie and TV clips. Of course, there's a reason for this. Plays are seen by far fewer people than movies or TV shows. So if you want to pander to viewers and boost Nightly News's ratings, you get a much bigger bang for your buck with movie and TV show clips than with Broadway plays. It's just simple math.
***Before signing off, Brian made sure to show us scenes of service members placing flags at veterans' graves in Arlington Cemetery. The NBC News research department has informed Brian that pretending to care about veterans causes his ratings to go up. It's a no-brainer.
Fri. May 25--A story about how travel in Florida this weekend will be affected by fires was titled "Hittin' The Road". "Hittin'", not "hitting". Once again, Brian is trying to make himself seem working-class. Or maybe I should say "workin'-class".
***Next, we got a story about "extreme weather". Duh. There's always extreme weather going on somewhere in the country. The producers like to use the word "extreme" because it implies urgency and therefore keeps the viewers tuned in. In this case, Jim Cantore told us that it would be hot this weekend and that some areas in the southeast may get rain as a result of tropical depressions. Thanks for the news flash, dude. I think our local weather stations have the situation pretty well covered. Brian made sure to refer to Cantore as "our friend" because he's desperate for the viewers to think that he's well-liked by the people he works with.
***Next, Brian reported on Joe Biden's speech in which the Vice President recounted how he felt forty years ago upon hearing that his wife and daughter had died in a car crash. During his intro, Brian made sure to tell us that Biden was talking to military families. And after the clip of Biden's speech, Brian made sure to tell us that Biden had been talking to...military families. Question for Brian: Was Biden talking to military families? And as Brian was reporting this story, he had the obligatory animated U.S. flag waving behind him because Brian obviously loves this country so much more than any other network news anchor. Remember when anchors reported the news, rather than pandered for ratings by pretending to be patriotic? Brian's insistence on literally wrapping himself in the U.S. flag is pathetic and disgusting. If this was a Woody Allen movie, Uncle Sam himself would walk onto the Nightly News set and loudly castigate Brian for using the flag as a ratings prop. If only life were really like that.
***Brian then spent 25 seconds reporting on a new ketchup bottle that allows the ketchup to slide right out instead of coming out in dribs and drabs. Because Brian is all about the hard news.
***After that, he told us about more tsunami debris that washed ashore in Alaska. I get the feeling that Brian plans to report every single item of tsunami debris that hits the U.S. shores. At least that's what he's done so far. Earlier in the broadcast, he spent 38 seconds reporting on the election in Egypt. So these two stories about the ketchup bottle and tsunami debris were together given more time than the story on the Egyptian election. Because Brian has his priorities.
***The next story made me laugh so hard that Diet Fresca came out of my nose. Brian told us about the high salaries earned by some American CEO's. Then he told us--with a straight face--that in 2011, the median pay for a CEO was $9.6 million, which amounts to $3,073 per hour. He added that the average American worker would have to work 244 years to earn that amount, and it would take 636 years for a minimum wage worker. Meanwhile, Brian earns around $15 million per year--50% more than the average CEO. So that means that the average American worker would have to work 366 years to earn Brian's one-year salary and a minimum wage worker would have to work 954 years. I cannot believe that filthy rich multi-millionaire Brian Williams had the nerve to report about the high salaries of American CEO's when he himself earns so much. His efforts to appear like a regular old wage earner just suffered a significant setback. But we learned something important about Brian. His need to brag about his financial success trumps his desire to pretend to be common. One more fun fact: Assuming Brian anchors 240 broadcasts per year, that would mean he gets paid $62,500 per broadcast. That's like one-and-a-half times as much as the median U.S. individual income.
***Enough garbage news. It's time for a really important story. And here's the breaking news: There was a dog in the Nightly News editorial meeting on Thursday. So Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about it. Most of the story was devoted to showing a photo of Brian with the dog. As we all know, Brian never misses an opportunity to call attention to himself. This was one of the most sadly egotistical displays I have ever seen on a news broadcast. It pretty much sums up Brian's mantra: "I love dogs and I love myself." So this was a story that included his two favorite things. Bravo. Well done. It didn't even seem to matter to Brian that every single person who saw this "news story" thought the exact same thing: Brian Williams is the biggest fucking narcissist on the planet.
***Here's how Brian began the final story: "What may be the party of this Memorial Day weekend will be in San Francisco as that beautiful city celebrates the 75th anniversary of the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge." Wow. He took pandering to a new height by using the word "beautiful" twice in one sentence. I'm surprised he didn't put on a San Francisco Giants cap as he said this. It's sad what he's willing to do for ratings.
***Because Brian obviously hadn't done enough pandering, he ended the broadcast by saying, "Please pause to remember out veterans." So now it's an anchor's job to tell us how we should commemorate Memorial Day? Where does he get the nerve? As he said this, we were shown re-run footage from the previous night of service members placing flags on veterans' graves at Arlington Cemetery. Shameless.
Sat. May 19--Surprise--there was no Nightly News this day because of the Preakness. Once again, NBC devoted two hours to a two-minute horse race. What a great allocation of programming time.
Sun. May 20--A one-minute story about Tropical Storm Alberto featured The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore outdoors in Charleston, South Carolina. As we watched Cantore, there was no rain, no wind, no evidence of a storm. So even why bother reporting this non-event? Here's why: Because NBC Universal spent $3.5 billion to buy The Weather Channel and they make sure they damn well use it--every night, whether or not it's necessary. It's pathetic how much time Nightly News wastes on weather events solely to justify NBC Universal's purchase. By the way, one of NBC Universal's partners in the Weather Channel acquisition was Bain Capital--well known these days as Mitt Romney's former firm. I have never once heard Brian Williams or anyone else on Nightly News offer that disclosure when reporting on Mitt Romney's association with Bain. I guess it must have slipped Brian's mind.
***Lester Holt spent 35 seconds reporting the death of the Bee Gees' Robin Gibb. Fair enough--Gibb deserves that much time. But something tells me this may become relevant on Monday.
***Lester then told us about the "spectacular" eclipse that was happening that night. Yeah--we know because Brian already told us about it on Friday. As usual, Brian's childish fixation on space events means that we are forced to see reports on these events almost every night.
***This next story was hilarious. Lester took 55 seconds to report that Brian Williams had delivered the commencement address at George Washington University's graduation. This "news story" included a thirty-second excerpt from Brian's pompous self-involved speech. In this brief excerpt, he used the word "us" five times and the word "I" twice. Hardly surprising. There's nothing Brian likes reporting on more than himself. Obviously, Brian ordered his producers to feature his address as a news story because of his raging, out-of-control narcissism. And I'm certain that this isn't the last time we'll see Brian deliver his speech on Nightly News. Mark my words--I guarantee that it will appear again.
***After that, Lester told us about a Babe Ruth game-worn jersey that sold for more than $4.4 million at auction. This story was given 23 seconds. The previous story about Brian's commencement speech was given 55 seconds. So I guess that means that Brian is twice as important as Babe Ruth. At least that's the case if you ask Brian. Lester began this story by saying, "Eight decades after his last major league at-bat, Babe Ruth is still the king." Actually, Ruth's last major league at-bat was in 1935. That was 77 years earlier--not eight decades. Can someone please buy Lester a baseball stat book?
***Next, Lester spent 45 seconds recapping the Preakness. Since the horse that won--I'll Have Another--also won the Kentucky Derby, there's a chance that we could have a Triple Crown winner this year. And which network is televising the Belmont Stakes, the third leg of the Triple Crown? That would be NBC. So this was just a 45-second promo for an upcoming NBC event. And just in case we missed the point, Lester ended the story by telling us that the Belmont Stakes airs June 9--on NBC. Shameless.
***The final story was a 2:20 piece about Mark Zuckerberg's exciting week. First Facebook goes public, then he gets married! Awesome! This wasn't a news story, it was a pop culture fluff profile. The story included clips from the Zuckerberg bio-pic "The Social Network". Let me make sure I understand this. There's probably hundreds of hours of video of the actual Zuckerberg, but the idiot Nightly News producers felt the need to use clips from a movie. Well, we all know that the Nightly News formula includes the frequent use of movie and TV clips because that helps boost the ratings. So why should we expect that to change?
Mon. May 21--Here's how Brian introduced a story about Newark Mayor Cory Booker's appearance on "Meet The Press": "And it's happened again--Sunday morning on 'Meet The Press' it was another comment by a politician was rather stunning at first...." So as far as Brian is concerned, the big story was not what Booker said, but that it was said on MTP. Typical self-promotional bullshit from NBC's chief carnival barker. Actually, what Booker said was important, but not only for the reasons described by Peter Alexander. Booker expressed his distaste for the way in which Pres. Obama has criticized Mitt Romney for his work with Bain Capital. Furthermore, Booker actually praised Bain for their work in helping small businesses. Okay--one of Pres. Obama's main supporters voiced some criticism towards the President. That's news. But there's another aspect to this story. As I mentioned earlier, Bain Capital was NBC Universal's partner in their acquisition of The Weather Channel. So playing up Booker's criticism of Obama's attack on Bain--and emphasizing Booker's praise of Bain--amounts to a defense of Bain by NBC. And again, Brian's refusal to disclose that NBC is a business partner of Bain fails the ethical smell test. Once again, Nightly News is reporting news not objectively, but in a way that supports its own interests.
***Brian reported on Mark Zuckerberg's wedding, a story that Nightly News had already covered on Sunday.
***Brian then reported on the sentencing of Dharun Ravi, the Rutgers student who surreptitiously recorded his roommate's liaison with another man just days before the roommate killed himself. During this story, a Nightly News graphic spelled Ravi's first name as "Dhuran". Maybe the producers thought he was in the band Dhuran Dhuran. It's pathetic that the producers can't even manage to correctly spell the name of the defendant in a trial they're covering.
***After that, Brian read an obituary for Robin Gibb. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah--now I remember. Lester read Gibb's obit on Sunday's Nightly News. Obviously, Brian doesn't consider a story to be reported unless he personally reports it.
***Next, Brian told us about the death of Eugene Polley, who had invented the cordless TV remote control. Here's what Brian said about Polley: "He is the reason behind a lot of large behinds in this country." What a dignified way to memorialize someone. And what a dignified thing for a network news anchor to say. But as we all know, Brian is more concerned with impressing the viewers by saying things he believes are clever and less concerned with dignity.
***Brian spent 30 seconds recapping the results of Sunday's Preakness race. Hmmm...again, this sounds familiar. That's because Lester already reported the Preakness results on Sunday's Nightly News. But of course, the purpose of this story was to again promote the Belmont Stakes (June 9 on NBC), so we can expect Brian to repeat this story many more times before then. Promoting NBC's sports and entertainment programming is one of Brian's main jobs as Nightly News anchor.
***Speaking of which--Brian then told us all about Kristen Wiig's final Saturday Night Live show. He called it a "poignant, tear-streaked moment". Remember when news anchors reported news instead of telling us how we're supposed to feel about it? But then again, a real news anchor would never waste our time with this silly self-promotional non-story. Is there any chance that Brian would have bothered reporting it if it didn't take place on NBC? Of course not.
***The broadcast ended with a two-minute story about Sunday's eclipse. This is the third eclipse story Nightly News has done in four days (and remember--there was no Nightly News on Saturday). And in keeping with his practice of telling us how we should feel about things, Brian described it as "spectacular"--a word he uses all the time to convey his personal impression of various space events. The story was titled "Ring of Fire"--the name of a popular song recorded by Johnny Cash (among others). The Nightly News producers frequently give their stories titles that are lifted from songs, TV shows or movies in order to make them sound more interesting to the viewers (if viewers are more interested, the ratings go up). So altogether, Brian reported four stories (Mark Zuckerberg's wedding, Robin Gibb's death, the Preakness, the eclipse) that had already been reported Sunday on Nightly News. Those four stories represent 4:10 of news time that was spent on re-runs. Here's a suggestion: Instead of reporting re-runs, how about reporting on Africa, Europe and Eastern Asia--regions that are routinely ignored by Brian and his producers. But then again, most of the stories on Nightly News--re-runs or otherwise--are reported for their ratings value, not their news value. That's the Nightly News way.
Tues. May 22--The lead story was the woman on a U.S. Air flight that was acting irrationally and claiming that she had a surgically-implanted device inside her. It was titled "Air Scare" because the goal of the Nightly News producers is to scare viewers away from changing the channel. Making a minor event sound alarmist is good for ratings.
***Remember last May 25 when Brian shamelessly exploited poor Bethany Lansaw, whose husband was killed while protecting her during the tornado in Joplin, Missouri three days earlier? What a shameless and grotesque exploitation of this poor woman's suffering. What a horrible thing to put her through. She was 24 or 48 hours removed from tragically losing her husband (depending on when that interview was taped) and Brian was right there like a scavenging vulture to take advantage of her misfortune in order to gain a few ratings points. Well, guess what? He's at it again. He spent three minutes re-visiting Lansaw a year later, because dredging up her misery means nothing to Brian as long as it helps his ratings. Appalling. There's a special place in hell reserved for Brian Williams. Naturally, as Brian was introducing this story, the box over his left shoulder showed video clips from his 2011 interview with Lansaw. So Brian's image was on-screen twice at the same time. That sounds about right for a raging egomaniac. This follow-up story also included a significant amount of footage from the 2011 story (including lots of clips of Brian), because Brian's goal at all times is to call attention to himself--even when he's preying on the suffering of others.
***Next, it was time for another alarmist health-scare story. This one was about the link between sleep apnea and cancer. The message of this story: If you snore or don't feel rested after sleep, you're going to get cancer. Like the "Air Scare" story earlier, these alarmist stories keep viewers from changing the channel because we want to find out if we're going to die soon. As usual, this story also had an alarmist title: "Cancer Risk?" Be afraid. Be very afraid.
***After that, Brian took 45 seconds to tell us that traffic congestion dropped 30% since last year. Is this really a story that needs to be reported on a network news broadcast? It doesn't matter. Brian gets to report whatever he wants.
***Speaking of which, here's what Brian reported next: Airlines will start charging a fee for consecutive seats so families will have to pay more to sit together. This is a ridiculous non-story. People will find about the fees when they book their flights, and there's really not much they can do about it. Nevertheless, this silly story was given a whopping 2:10 of air time. Why? Because Brian is obsessed with the airline industry and feels compelled to report every bit of airline news, no matter how irrelevant. And here's how Brian introduced the story: "Here we are in the era of airline fees--the era of paying for any and every extra that the airlines can get out of US." Us? Really? Are airline fees a problem for Brian and his $15 million annual salary? And how often does he even fly commercial? Comcast and NBC have corporate jets specially reserved for bigwigs like Brian and Matt Lauer so they don't have to mingle with the riff-raff at airports.
***Later, Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about a Kansas couple whose wedding photo and video featured a tornado in the background. I'm not sure why this was on a newscast, but I assume it was because Brian wanted it on. That's the only reason necessary.
***Next, he spent 40 seconds telling us about an app that displays eating habits around the country. He ended the story by saying, "Graphic evidence of your potato chips, your Mallomars, your Haagen-Dazs." So it's just a coincidence that he mentioned those two brands by name, right? Wrong. It was another calculated product placement by the marketing geniuses at NBC Nightly News, who constantly strive to turn their broadcast into one massive commercial for their best advertisers. Mallomars are manufactured by food behemoth Kraft, and Haagen-Dazs is jointly controlled (in the U.S.) by Nestle and General Mills. How much money do those companies spend each year advertising on all of the Comcast/NBC Universal television networks? It's not just NBC, CNBC and MSNBC. Comcast/NBC also owns Bravo, Chiller, Oxygen, Cloo (formerly Sleuth), SyFy, Telemundo, MUN2, The Weather Channel, USA, E!, The Golf Channel, The Style Network and NBC Sports Network (formerly Versus). Comcast/NBC also has an ownership interest in A&E Networks, which includes The History Channel, The Biography Channel and Lifetime. So when Brian mentions a specific consumer product, it's not random. It's done as a thank-you to the product's manufacturer for all the advertising dollars they spend with Comcast/NBC. There are no accidents on Nightly News.
***Brian then took 25 seconds to tell us about a man at a Cincinnati Reds game who caught two back-to-back home run balls in the same inning. Because Nightly News is all about the hard news.
***The final story if the night was about a hearing-impaired high school pitcher in New Jersey. That's great. We all wish him luck. But this isn't news and it doesn't belong on a news broadcast. Of course, Brian and his producers don't care about news. Their primary concern is getting high ratings by airing sappy, feel-good stories like this one. So mission accomplished!
Wed. May 23--The lead stories were about the "Facebook Fallout". I almost fell out of my chair when I heard Brian say this to Andrew Ross Sorkin: "So correct me if I'm wrong--is this a case of the rich get richer--another advantage to the 1%....?" Um, note to Brian: YOU'RE IN THE 1%! Actually, he's probably in the .1% or maybe even in the .01%. He's the super-rich. Yet night after night he pretends to be a good old reg'lar guy. He dons the persona of a character in a Springsteen song, like he gets up in the morning, puts on his work boots, heads out to the factory, punches the time clock, works nine hours, punches out when the whistle blows and goes out with his buddies for beers. What a joke. Does he really believe that anyone buys this bullshit act? How many shares of Facebook did Brian buy? I mean how many thousands of shares? Puh-leeze!
***In a story about the Secret Service prostitution scandal, as Pete Williams was talking about prostitutes, the producers showed video of the legs of women sunning themselves at a pool. Their faces were not shown, but they looked like college kids on vacation. Since when did vacationers' legs become the universal symbol for prostitutes? Only on Nightly News. And the producers do this every time they report on the Secret Service scandal. If they have footage of prostitutes, then they should use it. If not, stop showing regular women as stand-ins for hookers. I hope those women sue NBC for character defamation.
***Just in case we weren't sufficiently scared on Tuesday, the producers ran another "Air Scare" story about the deranged woman on a U.S. Air flight who claimed to have a device surgically implanted in her body. Remember, scared viewers equal high ratings.
***The next story was about the elections in Egypt. The first 15 seconds of the story--during Brian's introduction--consisted of old video (from February, 2011) of Brian walking around Tahrir Square talking to Egyptian people. What a fucking egomaniac! He never misses an opportunity to show old video of himself. Just when I think Brian can't get any more narcissistic, he outdoes himself.
***A story about new additions to the Library of Congress was just an excuse to show clips of Donna Summer and "A Charlie Brown Christmas". Because pop culture gets good ratings.
***Brian took 30 seconds to tell us the important news that United Airlines will no longer allow pre-boarding for parents with small children. Once again, Brian's obsession with the airline industry has caused him to report an item with little news value. But that's what Nightly News is about--allowing Brian to report stuff that's important to HIM.
***Speaking of which--the next story was about Prince Charles taking a turn as a DJ. Zero news value, but Brian is completely obsessed with the British Royal family. Remember Brian's May 10 story about Prince Charles filling in as a weatherman for the BBC in Scotland? Brian spent twice as much time on that story as BBC World News America--and they're a British newscast! So obviously Prince Charles spinning some discs merits coverage on Nightly News. Because Brian said so.
***The broadcast ended with a story about "Fifty Shades of Grey"--the porn novel for women. This is what you would call a no-brainer for Brian and his producers. It's certainly not news, but porn is titillating, so this story undoubtedly generated good ratings for Nightly News. The story was reported by the idiotic Anne Thompson. I'm sure she was intimately familiar with "Fifty Shades", since she seems like she hasn't had a boyfriend in a long, long time.
Thurs. May 24--The broadcast began with more than four minutes devoted to the weather. The hell with all the important news stories going on across the country and around the world--Brian and his producers decided to spend four minutes promoting The Weather Channel. The first two-and-a-half minutes was a pointless segment that recapped the "extreme weather" of the past 12 months and featured some weather experts who told us that this year we would see a normal hurricane season. So last year's weather re-runs and a prediction of a normal season somehow qualifies as news.
***Next, Brian spent 25 seconds kissing Rick Knabb's ass: "And with us tonight, the hurricane expert at The Weather Channel who we are proud to say has been selected and is about to become the new director of the National Hurricane Center. And Rick, can you blame a civilian like me for askin' a guy like you--in light of...we saw New England torn up this year, Joplin, Tuscaloosa, all the severe weather--why wouldn't that mean an equally severe hurricane season en route?" Actually, I can answer Brian's obsequious, idiotic question: Because one year's hurricane activity is in no way a determinant of the following year's hurricane activity. Any other stupid questions? And did you notice how Brian intentionally referred to himself as a "civilian"? That's just another calculated way for him to try to paint himself as a regular old working class guy. Yep--Brian is a good old boy, just like all of us. And just to drive the point home, Brian said "askin'", not "asking". Because working-class stiffs don't pronounce their g's. What a phony.
***During Andrea Mitchell's story about growing tension between the U.S. and Pakistan, we were shown an excerpt from her MSNBC show, "Andrea Mitchell Reports". But in the on-screen credit line, there were no quotes around the show's title. Quote marks around show titles are arbitrary. They're at the whim of the Nightly News producers. Sometimes they're there, sometimes not. Whatever.
***After Mitchell's story, Brian took 22 seconds to make excuses for not having Defense Secretary Leon Panetta on the broadcast (apparently he was scheduled to appear). Yeah, we get it. The dog ate your homework. But if the viewers didn't know that Panetta was supposed to appear, why even bother mentioning it? Because Brian likes making himself sound important by talking about his interviews (real or imagined) with government officials.
***A story about the New Orleans newspaper The Times-Picayune was just an excuse for Brian to fawningly pander to that city: "Bad news arrived today from a great American city where this broadcast has spent a lot of time and put down roots, really, in the years since Hurricane Katrina. New Orleans, Louisiana is easy to love, it's a city full of survivors who believe the good times must roll on...." How sickening. Brian is using the Katrina disaster to make himself seem like the savior of New Orleans. Put down roots? Really? I'd like to see the paperwork on that.
***Brian took 30 seconds to report the important story that the father of New England Patriots' quarterback Tom Brady said he might have been hesitant to let his son play football years ago if he knew then what he knows now about the dangers of head injuries and concussions. This story has zero news value--it's just part of the producers' weaselly scheme to reinforce NBC's high-rated Sunday Night Football broadcasts by reporting on football stories in the off-season. Just a not-so-subtle reminder to the viewers that it's less than four months until football season begins. This story was titled "Father Knows Best". The producers frequently give their stories names taken from TV shows, movies or popular songs because they know that viewers' interest is piqued (and maintained) if they recognize a familiar title.
***The final story was about older actors who are currently appearing in Broadway plays. This ridiculous story was just an excuse to show celebrities like James Earl Jones, Angela Lansbury and Joel Grey. Naturally, the story included clips from "Star Wars" (Jones), "Murder, She Wrote" (Lansbury) and "Cabaret" (Grey). Funny thing--the story was supposed to be about actors on Broadway, yet it included movie and TV clips. Of course, there's a reason for this. Plays are seen by far fewer people than movies or TV shows. So if you want to pander to viewers and boost Nightly News's ratings, you get a much bigger bang for your buck with movie and TV show clips than with Broadway plays. It's just simple math.
***Before signing off, Brian made sure to show us scenes of service members placing flags at veterans' graves in Arlington Cemetery. The NBC News research department has informed Brian that pretending to care about veterans causes his ratings to go up. It's a no-brainer.
Fri. May 25--A story about how travel in Florida this weekend will be affected by fires was titled "Hittin' The Road". "Hittin'", not "hitting". Once again, Brian is trying to make himself seem working-class. Or maybe I should say "workin'-class".
***Next, we got a story about "extreme weather". Duh. There's always extreme weather going on somewhere in the country. The producers like to use the word "extreme" because it implies urgency and therefore keeps the viewers tuned in. In this case, Jim Cantore told us that it would be hot this weekend and that some areas in the southeast may get rain as a result of tropical depressions. Thanks for the news flash, dude. I think our local weather stations have the situation pretty well covered. Brian made sure to refer to Cantore as "our friend" because he's desperate for the viewers to think that he's well-liked by the people he works with.
***Next, Brian reported on Joe Biden's speech in which the Vice President recounted how he felt forty years ago upon hearing that his wife and daughter had died in a car crash. During his intro, Brian made sure to tell us that Biden was talking to military families. And after the clip of Biden's speech, Brian made sure to tell us that Biden had been talking to...military families. Question for Brian: Was Biden talking to military families? And as Brian was reporting this story, he had the obligatory animated U.S. flag waving behind him because Brian obviously loves this country so much more than any other network news anchor. Remember when anchors reported the news, rather than pandered for ratings by pretending to be patriotic? Brian's insistence on literally wrapping himself in the U.S. flag is pathetic and disgusting. If this was a Woody Allen movie, Uncle Sam himself would walk onto the Nightly News set and loudly castigate Brian for using the flag as a ratings prop. If only life were really like that.
***Brian then spent 25 seconds reporting on a new ketchup bottle that allows the ketchup to slide right out instead of coming out in dribs and drabs. Because Brian is all about the hard news.
***After that, he told us about more tsunami debris that washed ashore in Alaska. I get the feeling that Brian plans to report every single item of tsunami debris that hits the U.S. shores. At least that's what he's done so far. Earlier in the broadcast, he spent 38 seconds reporting on the election in Egypt. So these two stories about the ketchup bottle and tsunami debris were together given more time than the story on the Egyptian election. Because Brian has his priorities.
***The next story made me laugh so hard that Diet Fresca came out of my nose. Brian told us about the high salaries earned by some American CEO's. Then he told us--with a straight face--that in 2011, the median pay for a CEO was $9.6 million, which amounts to $3,073 per hour. He added that the average American worker would have to work 244 years to earn that amount, and it would take 636 years for a minimum wage worker. Meanwhile, Brian earns around $15 million per year--50% more than the average CEO. So that means that the average American worker would have to work 366 years to earn Brian's one-year salary and a minimum wage worker would have to work 954 years. I cannot believe that filthy rich multi-millionaire Brian Williams had the nerve to report about the high salaries of American CEO's when he himself earns so much. His efforts to appear like a regular old wage earner just suffered a significant setback. But we learned something important about Brian. His need to brag about his financial success trumps his desire to pretend to be common. One more fun fact: Assuming Brian anchors 240 broadcasts per year, that would mean he gets paid $62,500 per broadcast. That's like one-and-a-half times as much as the median U.S. individual income.
***Enough garbage news. It's time for a really important story. And here's the breaking news: There was a dog in the Nightly News editorial meeting on Thursday. So Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about it. Most of the story was devoted to showing a photo of Brian with the dog. As we all know, Brian never misses an opportunity to call attention to himself. This was one of the most sadly egotistical displays I have ever seen on a news broadcast. It pretty much sums up Brian's mantra: "I love dogs and I love myself." So this was a story that included his two favorite things. Bravo. Well done. It didn't even seem to matter to Brian that every single person who saw this "news story" thought the exact same thing: Brian Williams is the biggest fucking narcissist on the planet.
***Here's how Brian began the final story: "What may be the party of this Memorial Day weekend will be in San Francisco as that beautiful city celebrates the 75th anniversary of the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge." Wow. He took pandering to a new height by using the word "beautiful" twice in one sentence. I'm surprised he didn't put on a San Francisco Giants cap as he said this. It's sad what he's willing to do for ratings.
***Because Brian obviously hadn't done enough pandering, he ended the broadcast by saying, "Please pause to remember out veterans." So now it's an anchor's job to tell us how we should commemorate Memorial Day? Where does he get the nerve? As he said this, we were shown re-run footage from the previous night of service members placing flags on veterans' graves at Arlington Cemetery. Shameless.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Brian Williams & NBC Nightly News Show Notes: 5/12/12 Through 5/18/12 (Revised--Full Week)
The big news on Nightly News this week was horrible diseases. They told us about Hidden Hazards, Hidden Risks, Hidden Dangers and Health Risks. The point: Be afraid. Be very afraid. Here's all the other great stuff you may have missed:
Sat. May 12 & Sun. May 13--There was no Nightly News scheduled on these days because golf was more important (meaning more profitable). It seems dishonest to use the word "Nightly" in your newscast's title when it doesn't actually appear on a nightly basis.
Mon. May 14--A preview for a story about the California budget crisis was titled "Dire Straits". As a ratings ploy, Brian Williams and his producers frequently give their news stories titles that are movies, TV shows, albums or popular group names. The recognition factor helps ensure that viewers don't change the channel.
***A story on JPMorgan Chase's bad investment decisions was titled "Risky Business". Brian figured that people would be more likely to stay tuned if they thought there was a chance they might see Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay.
***We saw a 2:50 story about the risks of small children swallowing coin-sized batteries. The story was titles "Hidden Hazard". Nightly News runs these alarmist stories all the time. Similar recent stories include "Hidden Dangers" (of osteoporosis--1/22/12), "Hidden Dangers?" (of lipstick--2/14/12), "Warning Signs?" (of autism--2/17/12), "Hepatitis C Warning" (2/21/12), "Hidden Risks?" (of dirty surgical instruments--2/23/12), "Silent Killer" (heart attacks--2/25/12), "Danger At Sea" (luxury cruises--2/29/12), "Overmedicated?" (drug-resistant infections--3/19/12), "X-Ray Risk?" (overexposure to X-rays--4/10/12) and "Measles Outbreak" (4/19/12). These stories take small-risk situations (lipstick--really?) and blow them wildly out of proportion in order to scare the viewers. The formula is always the same--the story is teased at the beginning of the broadcast and then reported later. Why? Because a scared viewer will stay tuned in to see what the risk is. And now add to this list the "Hidden Hazard" of swallowing batteries. This is what Nightly News wasted nearly three minutes of news time reporting. Seriously.
***Brian then told us that the "Avengers" movie has topped $1billion in worldwide sales. This is the fourth story Nightly News has done on the "Avengers" movie in the past ten days. Why? Research shows that using lots of movie and TV clips in news stories leads to an increase in ratings.
***Breaking News: Brian then told us about the most popular baby names. He seemed really disappointed that Brian wasn't at the top of the list. I mean, he's so damn popular and loved so why aren't people naming their babies after him
***Here's how Brian introduced the next story: "In non-essential food news tonight, confirmation from the Girl Scouts of what A LOT OF US already knew--thin mints are your number one Girl Scout cookie choice...." Wow--he already knew that! There's nothing Brian likes more than bragging about how smart he thinks he is. And by the way--is Brian now going to tell us every time he reports a non-essential news item? If so, he'll be using that phrase quite a lot each night. Along with the Girl Scout cookie news, Brian also told us that 7-11 stores will be rolling out a Slurpee Lite. Because it's always a good idea to give free advertising to regular Nightly News sponsors.
***Brian then reported another story about the World War II plane that was found in the Sahara Desert. This is the second story about the lost plane he has reported.
***The final story of the night was a real doozy. It was a 2:20 story about a young woman who won first place on "Britain's Got Talent" by dancing with her dog. Even if that was all there was to the story, it would be an idiotic waste of time for a news broadcast. But it was really so much more than that. Here's how Brian introduced it: "Finally tonight, TV talent shows have become national obsessions. The new season of 'America's Got Talent' debuts tonight on NBC...." Ah--I get it. Brian used an idiotic story about "Britain's Got Talent" as a way to sleazily promote the new season of "America's Got Talent". How does this sleazebag sleep at night, knowing that he intentionally ignores real news in order to promote NBC entertainment shows? The FCC should force NBC to remove the word "news" from the title of the show. Or better yet--shut them down completely. And just for good measure, the story included clips from "The Artist", "Lassie" and "Rin Tin Tin". Because viewers like that. Throughout the broadcast, Brian ran three promos (totalling 20 seconds) for this story. Meanwhile, Greece is teetering on the brink of collapse, but Brian didn't even mention this. That's right--he spent more time on promos for the dancing dog story than he spent reporting on Greece. What a scumbag.
Tues. May 15--In a story about the John Edwards trial, Brian was forced to show a "Nightline" clip. And moments later, in a story about politics, he was forced to show Pres. Obama's appearance on "The View". Brian must have been seething at the prospect of having to show two ABC clips. Brian goes to great lengths to ignore ABC and CBS because he's scared that if he mentions a competing network, viewers will change the channel. And at the beginning of the Obama story, there was the usual American flag animation waving behind Brian. It's pathetic that he uses faux-patriotism as a ratings gimmick to attract and maintain viewers. It reminds me of all those late-night infomercials that use American flags as a sleazy prop to hawk their products. But I guess when you think about it, Brian is really just an infomercial host. He's certainly not a journalist.
***A story about JPMorgan Chase was, of course, titled "Risky Business". Just like the movie. This is the fourth JPMorgan story to carry that title.
***Brian then took a minute (total) to report on the situation in Greece and on the swearing-in of France's new president, Francois Hollande. Gee--a whole minute. Is he sure he can spare that much time?
***Brian spent 30 seconds reporting that Defense Secretary Leon Panetta has restricted flights on Air Force F-22 Raptor fighter jets because of problems with the plane's oxygen system. The following day's New York Times reported that the flight restrictions were a direct result of "a '60 Minutes' program that profiled two pilots who refused to fly the planes because of fears of oxygen deprivation in the cockpit." Naturally, Brian never mentioned "60 Minutes" in his story because little children don't like to share credit.
***After that, he spent 1:20 reporting three very important stories. First, he told us about the best American cities for women to live in. Then, he showed some Beatles photos that were taken at the time of the Abbey Road album cover. And he also informed us that Honda is making a Segway-like scooter. I'm really glad I know that.
***The broadcast ended with a two-and-a-half minute story about France's new first lady, Valerie Trierweiler. She's elegant and strong-willed! The story also featured plenty of footage of Carla Bruni, France's former first lady. She's beautiful and sexy. Funny thing--Nightly News never profiles frumpy, unattractive women. Interesting. Earlier, Brian spent 28 seconds profiling Francois Hollande. So he devoted five times as much airtime to the French First Lady as he did to the French President. Good thing he has his priorities straight.
***Here's some of the stories Brian ignored this night: European Union naval forces attacked Somali pirate bases on the mainland; at least 80 Palestinians were injured in clashes with the Israeli army; and Rebekah Brooks testified before the Leveson Inquiry into the News Corp. phone hacking scandal. Nightly News didn't report any of these stories, but at least we know all about the French First Lady. Great job, Nightly News producers.
Wed. May 16--The lead story was about the suicide of Mary Richardson Kennedy. Of course, for Brian this was just an excuse to show lots of footage of John F. Kennedy's funeral, along with clips of Bobby, Ted, Jackie and JFK Jr. Brian obviously has a raging Kennedy obsession, as evidenced by the 20 Nightly News stories in the past several months that have included Kennedy footage. I wonder what items Brian purchased in the 1996 Jackie Kennedy Onassis auction. He probably bought some of Jackie's nightclothes so he could make his wife wear them to bed. Gross.
***Run for your lives! It's the Flesh Eating Bacteria! Another exploitative Nightly News story meant to scare us. This disease is extremely rare, but they reported on it like it's as common as a cold. What's next--a medical report on how not to be turned into a zombie? Maybe I shouldn't have said that--I don't want to give the producers any ideas.
***After that, Brian spent 25 seconds reporting on a settlement to be paid out by the makers of Skechers sneakers for using false health claims in their ads. The story included clips from a Skechers ad featuring Kim Kardashian, which was obviously the only reason Brian even bothered to report this story.
***Time for another kids-with-cancer story. An existing lung cancer drug was discovered to be effective in fighting lymphoma in children. That's great. Nightly News loves to exploit kids with cancer for ratings because these stories earn high viewership due to the sympathy factor.
***Brian's Kennedy obsession is nothing compared with his Medal of Honor obsession. He pretends to care about MOH recipients because it makes him appear patriotic and because these stories earn high ratings. And also because MOH recipients are everything Brian will never be: Brave, selfless, humble. Here's how he began the story about a posthumous MOH that was awarded to the widow of a Vietnam War veteran: "There was not a dry eye in the East Room of the White House today--it's always the most emotional of White House ceremonies when a president awards the Medal of Honor...." Not a dry eye? Really? In the footage that accompanied Brian's sappy report, I saw plenty of dry eyes. But that's the thing about Brian--he never lets the facts get in the way of a good story.
***Did you know that according to a New England Journal of Medicine report, coffee drinkers live longer than non-coffee drinkers? Now you know. Because Brian told us this very important news.
***Here's how Brian introduced the next segment: "Couple of great videos getting heavy circulation on the web...." He then proceeded to spend a minute showing us a Dutch soccer player who was consoled by his daughter after a tough loss and a video about the secret lives of cats. Apparently, Brian doesn't understand the difference between a news broadcast and YouTube. The former is for important news stories that affect the world, and the latter is for idiotic videos that make people say "oh, how cute!" It's shameful that a news anchor wastes so much valuable time on garbage every night.
***Speaking of which: The final story was about efforts to lure swallows back to the Mission San Juan Capistrano after an absence of several years. This silly story was given 2:20 of news time. Meanwhile, Brian did not report a single foreign news story this night. Oh wait--my bad. He told us all about the Dutch soccer player comforted by his daughter. That's what passes for foreign news on Nightly News. Some real foreign news that Nightly News ignored: The Ratko Mladich trial began at The Hague, a Greek caretaker Prime Minister was sworn in, and fighting between soldiers and rebels has resumed in the Congo. Brian didn't report any of these stories because he was too busy telling us about Kim Kardashian, coffee drinkers and the secret lives of cats.
Thurs. May 17--A story about the political and economic situation in Greece was titled "Greek Tragedy" because the Nightly News producers think it's very important to come up with what they believe are clever story titles. Maybe if they spent less time on the titles and more time on the actual stories, they'd do a better job of informing their viewers. The story began, naturally, with video of the Olympic torch being handed off to Princess Anne because promoting the London Olympics is NBC's main goal from now on. In 2010, during the Vancouver Games (and including the weeks before and after the Games), Nightly News devoted 160 minutes to Olympic-related stories. I can only imagine how much time they will devote to promoting the London Games.
***During the Greece story, we saw some commentary from Uri Dadush, who was identified as being from the "Carnegie Endowment for Int'l P...." We couldn't read the last word of his description because it just faded away into nothingness. All we know is that it began with a "P". So what was it? The Carnegie Endowment for Int'l Pancake Making? Int'l Parcheesi Players? Int'l Palindrome Creators? I guess we'll never know.
***Hey! Guess what? It's time for another story on Tsunami debris from Japan! Nightly News leads all networks in reporting this story. Every time a gum wrapper or plastic spoon washes up on the west coast, Brian tells us about it. Thanks! Good to know.
***OMG! There's a Health Risk that the antibiotic Azithromycin (also known as Zithromax or the Z-Pak) can cause sudden cardiac death! We know this because the words "Health Risk" appeared over Brian's left shoulder in giant letters as he was introducing the story. And at the beginning of the broadcast, as Brian teased this story, the words "Hidden Risk" appeared next to him. So there's a Health Risk and a Hidden Risk! Wow. The 2/23/12 Nightly News story about the dangers of dirty surgical instruments warned only of a Hidden Risk, so this antibiotic must be extra risky. We can add this to all the other ridiculous alarmist medical stories Nightly News has done in order to scare us into watching. By the way, here's how Brian introduced this story: "Today's health news story hit a lot of US where WE live. It's about the antibiotic a lot of US ask for by name...." Us. We. Once again, the news is about Brian.
***An obituary for Donna Summer included commentary from the entertainment editor of TheGrio.com. That's an interesting choice, as opposed to interviewing someone from Vibe or The Source--two of the largest and most influential magazines and websites that cover African American culture and music. But of course those magazines aren't owned by Comcast NBC Universal. The Grio.com is owned by NBC, and of course the main goal of the Nightly News producers is to promote NBC properties, not to provide information from the most reliable sources.
Fri. May 18--In the lead story about Facebook going public, we were told that the initial stock valuation made it more valuable than McDonald's. Of course, this was just a sleazy excuse for the producers to put the McDonald's logo up on the screen. Nightly News makes a point of promoting McDonald's as often as possible because they are one of the biggest advertisers on the Comcast NBC Universal networks. So the producers are just doing a favor for a good friend. How thoughtful of them.
***Today's alarmist medical story is the "Hidden Danger" that Hepatitis C poses to baby boomers. At the beginning of the broadcast, it was also described as a "Health Risk". The producers seem to be repeating themselves a lot. They already used "Hidden Danger" (or "Dangers") for the 1/22/12 osteoporosis story and the 2/14/12 lipstick story. And they used "Health Risk" just one day earlier for the Azithromycin story. Can't they come up with some new phrases to try to scare us? I guess not. We know from all the spelling mistakes on Nightly News that the producers don't know how to use a dictionary, so why should we expect them to know how to use a thesaurus? By the way, Nightly News also did a story about Hepatitis C on 2/21/12. Back then, they titled it "Hepatitis C Warning". So in three months, it's gone from a warning to a risk. That sounds serious.
***Lester Holt (substituting for Brian) then told us about the "stunning eclipse" that would be visible this weekend on the west coast. Brian and Lester frequently use words like "stunning", "terrific" and "spectacular" to describe things they like (usually space-related events). Apparently, they don't understand that the role of a news anchor is to provide us with information, not to tell us how we're supposed to feel about things.
***A story about SpaceX founder Elon Musk included clips from the "Iron Man" movie because Musk was supposedly the inspiration for the Tony Stark character in the movie. Of course, the producers look for any excuse to include movie clips in their stories because it keeps viewers tuned in and keeps the ratings high. Well done. [Editors Note: On Tuesday (5/22), Scott Pelley did a three-minute profile of Musk on The CBS Evening News. There was no mention of Iron Man, and there were no clips from the movie. Obviously, CBS is interested in reporting news while NBC is interested in pumping up their ratings with gratuitous movie and TV clips.]
***Next, we saw a 2:15 "news story" about a retired Army colonel who was cast in the "Battleship" movie despite having lost both his legs in combat. The story contained plenty of clips from the movie, which was--surprise--released by Universal Pictures, which is owned by NBC Universal (at least correspondent Mara Schiavocampo was honest enough to admit this). So this story was just a big fat promotional ad for a Universal movie. Nice. [Editor's Note: "Battleship" earned an anemic $25 million during its premier weekend, so Nightly News's efforts to promote the film apparently had no effect on ticket sales.]
***The final story was a "Making A Difference" piece about a man in Kentucky who bought out the remaining stock from a soon-to-close Kmart store and donated it all to charity. That's a nice thing to do, but how is this news? It isn't. But sappy feelgood stories like this one get better ratings than actual news, so the producers make sure to constantly include these stories in the broadcast. Because Nightly News is a joke and the producers are more interested in getting high ratings than reporting news. This MAD piece was sponsored by Phillips Colon Health, which seems appropriate, since the story was really just a load of crap. At one point in the story, we saw a clip of an interview with a woman named Camille Colon. I suspect that that isn't her real name, but rather was made up by the producers to help promote Phillips Colon Health.
Sat. May 12 & Sun. May 13--There was no Nightly News scheduled on these days because golf was more important (meaning more profitable). It seems dishonest to use the word "Nightly" in your newscast's title when it doesn't actually appear on a nightly basis.
Mon. May 14--A preview for a story about the California budget crisis was titled "Dire Straits". As a ratings ploy, Brian Williams and his producers frequently give their news stories titles that are movies, TV shows, albums or popular group names. The recognition factor helps ensure that viewers don't change the channel.
***A story on JPMorgan Chase's bad investment decisions was titled "Risky Business". Brian figured that people would be more likely to stay tuned if they thought there was a chance they might see Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay.
***We saw a 2:50 story about the risks of small children swallowing coin-sized batteries. The story was titles "Hidden Hazard". Nightly News runs these alarmist stories all the time. Similar recent stories include "Hidden Dangers" (of osteoporosis--1/22/12), "Hidden Dangers?" (of lipstick--2/14/12), "Warning Signs?" (of autism--2/17/12), "Hepatitis C Warning" (2/21/12), "Hidden Risks?" (of dirty surgical instruments--2/23/12), "Silent Killer" (heart attacks--2/25/12), "Danger At Sea" (luxury cruises--2/29/12), "Overmedicated?" (drug-resistant infections--3/19/12), "X-Ray Risk?" (overexposure to X-rays--4/10/12) and "Measles Outbreak" (4/19/12). These stories take small-risk situations (lipstick--really?) and blow them wildly out of proportion in order to scare the viewers. The formula is always the same--the story is teased at the beginning of the broadcast and then reported later. Why? Because a scared viewer will stay tuned in to see what the risk is. And now add to this list the "Hidden Hazard" of swallowing batteries. This is what Nightly News wasted nearly three minutes of news time reporting. Seriously.
***Brian then told us that the "Avengers" movie has topped $1billion in worldwide sales. This is the fourth story Nightly News has done on the "Avengers" movie in the past ten days. Why? Research shows that using lots of movie and TV clips in news stories leads to an increase in ratings.
***Breaking News: Brian then told us about the most popular baby names. He seemed really disappointed that Brian wasn't at the top of the list. I mean, he's so damn popular and loved so why aren't people naming their babies after him
***Here's how Brian introduced the next story: "In non-essential food news tonight, confirmation from the Girl Scouts of what A LOT OF US already knew--thin mints are your number one Girl Scout cookie choice...." Wow--he already knew that! There's nothing Brian likes more than bragging about how smart he thinks he is. And by the way--is Brian now going to tell us every time he reports a non-essential news item? If so, he'll be using that phrase quite a lot each night. Along with the Girl Scout cookie news, Brian also told us that 7-11 stores will be rolling out a Slurpee Lite. Because it's always a good idea to give free advertising to regular Nightly News sponsors.
***Brian then reported another story about the World War II plane that was found in the Sahara Desert. This is the second story about the lost plane he has reported.
***The final story of the night was a real doozy. It was a 2:20 story about a young woman who won first place on "Britain's Got Talent" by dancing with her dog. Even if that was all there was to the story, it would be an idiotic waste of time for a news broadcast. But it was really so much more than that. Here's how Brian introduced it: "Finally tonight, TV talent shows have become national obsessions. The new season of 'America's Got Talent' debuts tonight on NBC...." Ah--I get it. Brian used an idiotic story about "Britain's Got Talent" as a way to sleazily promote the new season of "America's Got Talent". How does this sleazebag sleep at night, knowing that he intentionally ignores real news in order to promote NBC entertainment shows? The FCC should force NBC to remove the word "news" from the title of the show. Or better yet--shut them down completely. And just for good measure, the story included clips from "The Artist", "Lassie" and "Rin Tin Tin". Because viewers like that. Throughout the broadcast, Brian ran three promos (totalling 20 seconds) for this story. Meanwhile, Greece is teetering on the brink of collapse, but Brian didn't even mention this. That's right--he spent more time on promos for the dancing dog story than he spent reporting on Greece. What a scumbag.
Tues. May 15--In a story about the John Edwards trial, Brian was forced to show a "Nightline" clip. And moments later, in a story about politics, he was forced to show Pres. Obama's appearance on "The View". Brian must have been seething at the prospect of having to show two ABC clips. Brian goes to great lengths to ignore ABC and CBS because he's scared that if he mentions a competing network, viewers will change the channel. And at the beginning of the Obama story, there was the usual American flag animation waving behind Brian. It's pathetic that he uses faux-patriotism as a ratings gimmick to attract and maintain viewers. It reminds me of all those late-night infomercials that use American flags as a sleazy prop to hawk their products. But I guess when you think about it, Brian is really just an infomercial host. He's certainly not a journalist.
***A story about JPMorgan Chase was, of course, titled "Risky Business". Just like the movie. This is the fourth JPMorgan story to carry that title.
***Brian then took a minute (total) to report on the situation in Greece and on the swearing-in of France's new president, Francois Hollande. Gee--a whole minute. Is he sure he can spare that much time?
***Brian spent 30 seconds reporting that Defense Secretary Leon Panetta has restricted flights on Air Force F-22 Raptor fighter jets because of problems with the plane's oxygen system. The following day's New York Times reported that the flight restrictions were a direct result of "a '60 Minutes' program that profiled two pilots who refused to fly the planes because of fears of oxygen deprivation in the cockpit." Naturally, Brian never mentioned "60 Minutes" in his story because little children don't like to share credit.
***After that, he spent 1:20 reporting three very important stories. First, he told us about the best American cities for women to live in. Then, he showed some Beatles photos that were taken at the time of the Abbey Road album cover. And he also informed us that Honda is making a Segway-like scooter. I'm really glad I know that.
***The broadcast ended with a two-and-a-half minute story about France's new first lady, Valerie Trierweiler. She's elegant and strong-willed! The story also featured plenty of footage of Carla Bruni, France's former first lady. She's beautiful and sexy. Funny thing--Nightly News never profiles frumpy, unattractive women. Interesting. Earlier, Brian spent 28 seconds profiling Francois Hollande. So he devoted five times as much airtime to the French First Lady as he did to the French President. Good thing he has his priorities straight.
***Here's some of the stories Brian ignored this night: European Union naval forces attacked Somali pirate bases on the mainland; at least 80 Palestinians were injured in clashes with the Israeli army; and Rebekah Brooks testified before the Leveson Inquiry into the News Corp. phone hacking scandal. Nightly News didn't report any of these stories, but at least we know all about the French First Lady. Great job, Nightly News producers.
Wed. May 16--The lead story was about the suicide of Mary Richardson Kennedy. Of course, for Brian this was just an excuse to show lots of footage of John F. Kennedy's funeral, along with clips of Bobby, Ted, Jackie and JFK Jr. Brian obviously has a raging Kennedy obsession, as evidenced by the 20 Nightly News stories in the past several months that have included Kennedy footage. I wonder what items Brian purchased in the 1996 Jackie Kennedy Onassis auction. He probably bought some of Jackie's nightclothes so he could make his wife wear them to bed. Gross.
***Run for your lives! It's the Flesh Eating Bacteria! Another exploitative Nightly News story meant to scare us. This disease is extremely rare, but they reported on it like it's as common as a cold. What's next--a medical report on how not to be turned into a zombie? Maybe I shouldn't have said that--I don't want to give the producers any ideas.
***After that, Brian spent 25 seconds reporting on a settlement to be paid out by the makers of Skechers sneakers for using false health claims in their ads. The story included clips from a Skechers ad featuring Kim Kardashian, which was obviously the only reason Brian even bothered to report this story.
***Time for another kids-with-cancer story. An existing lung cancer drug was discovered to be effective in fighting lymphoma in children. That's great. Nightly News loves to exploit kids with cancer for ratings because these stories earn high viewership due to the sympathy factor.
***Brian's Kennedy obsession is nothing compared with his Medal of Honor obsession. He pretends to care about MOH recipients because it makes him appear patriotic and because these stories earn high ratings. And also because MOH recipients are everything Brian will never be: Brave, selfless, humble. Here's how he began the story about a posthumous MOH that was awarded to the widow of a Vietnam War veteran: "There was not a dry eye in the East Room of the White House today--it's always the most emotional of White House ceremonies when a president awards the Medal of Honor...." Not a dry eye? Really? In the footage that accompanied Brian's sappy report, I saw plenty of dry eyes. But that's the thing about Brian--he never lets the facts get in the way of a good story.
***Did you know that according to a New England Journal of Medicine report, coffee drinkers live longer than non-coffee drinkers? Now you know. Because Brian told us this very important news.
***Here's how Brian introduced the next segment: "Couple of great videos getting heavy circulation on the web...." He then proceeded to spend a minute showing us a Dutch soccer player who was consoled by his daughter after a tough loss and a video about the secret lives of cats. Apparently, Brian doesn't understand the difference between a news broadcast and YouTube. The former is for important news stories that affect the world, and the latter is for idiotic videos that make people say "oh, how cute!" It's shameful that a news anchor wastes so much valuable time on garbage every night.
***Speaking of which: The final story was about efforts to lure swallows back to the Mission San Juan Capistrano after an absence of several years. This silly story was given 2:20 of news time. Meanwhile, Brian did not report a single foreign news story this night. Oh wait--my bad. He told us all about the Dutch soccer player comforted by his daughter. That's what passes for foreign news on Nightly News. Some real foreign news that Nightly News ignored: The Ratko Mladich trial began at The Hague, a Greek caretaker Prime Minister was sworn in, and fighting between soldiers and rebels has resumed in the Congo. Brian didn't report any of these stories because he was too busy telling us about Kim Kardashian, coffee drinkers and the secret lives of cats.
Thurs. May 17--A story about the political and economic situation in Greece was titled "Greek Tragedy" because the Nightly News producers think it's very important to come up with what they believe are clever story titles. Maybe if they spent less time on the titles and more time on the actual stories, they'd do a better job of informing their viewers. The story began, naturally, with video of the Olympic torch being handed off to Princess Anne because promoting the London Olympics is NBC's main goal from now on. In 2010, during the Vancouver Games (and including the weeks before and after the Games), Nightly News devoted 160 minutes to Olympic-related stories. I can only imagine how much time they will devote to promoting the London Games.
***During the Greece story, we saw some commentary from Uri Dadush, who was identified as being from the "Carnegie Endowment for Int'l P...." We couldn't read the last word of his description because it just faded away into nothingness. All we know is that it began with a "P". So what was it? The Carnegie Endowment for Int'l Pancake Making? Int'l Parcheesi Players? Int'l Palindrome Creators? I guess we'll never know.
***Hey! Guess what? It's time for another story on Tsunami debris from Japan! Nightly News leads all networks in reporting this story. Every time a gum wrapper or plastic spoon washes up on the west coast, Brian tells us about it. Thanks! Good to know.
***OMG! There's a Health Risk that the antibiotic Azithromycin (also known as Zithromax or the Z-Pak) can cause sudden cardiac death! We know this because the words "Health Risk" appeared over Brian's left shoulder in giant letters as he was introducing the story. And at the beginning of the broadcast, as Brian teased this story, the words "Hidden Risk" appeared next to him. So there's a Health Risk and a Hidden Risk! Wow. The 2/23/12 Nightly News story about the dangers of dirty surgical instruments warned only of a Hidden Risk, so this antibiotic must be extra risky. We can add this to all the other ridiculous alarmist medical stories Nightly News has done in order to scare us into watching. By the way, here's how Brian introduced this story: "Today's health news story hit a lot of US where WE live. It's about the antibiotic a lot of US ask for by name...." Us. We. Once again, the news is about Brian.
***An obituary for Donna Summer included commentary from the entertainment editor of TheGrio.com. That's an interesting choice, as opposed to interviewing someone from Vibe or The Source--two of the largest and most influential magazines and websites that cover African American culture and music. But of course those magazines aren't owned by Comcast NBC Universal. The Grio.com is owned by NBC, and of course the main goal of the Nightly News producers is to promote NBC properties, not to provide information from the most reliable sources.
Fri. May 18--In the lead story about Facebook going public, we were told that the initial stock valuation made it more valuable than McDonald's. Of course, this was just a sleazy excuse for the producers to put the McDonald's logo up on the screen. Nightly News makes a point of promoting McDonald's as often as possible because they are one of the biggest advertisers on the Comcast NBC Universal networks. So the producers are just doing a favor for a good friend. How thoughtful of them.
***Today's alarmist medical story is the "Hidden Danger" that Hepatitis C poses to baby boomers. At the beginning of the broadcast, it was also described as a "Health Risk". The producers seem to be repeating themselves a lot. They already used "Hidden Danger" (or "Dangers") for the 1/22/12 osteoporosis story and the 2/14/12 lipstick story. And they used "Health Risk" just one day earlier for the Azithromycin story. Can't they come up with some new phrases to try to scare us? I guess not. We know from all the spelling mistakes on Nightly News that the producers don't know how to use a dictionary, so why should we expect them to know how to use a thesaurus? By the way, Nightly News also did a story about Hepatitis C on 2/21/12. Back then, they titled it "Hepatitis C Warning". So in three months, it's gone from a warning to a risk. That sounds serious.
***Lester Holt (substituting for Brian) then told us about the "stunning eclipse" that would be visible this weekend on the west coast. Brian and Lester frequently use words like "stunning", "terrific" and "spectacular" to describe things they like (usually space-related events). Apparently, they don't understand that the role of a news anchor is to provide us with information, not to tell us how we're supposed to feel about things.
***A story about SpaceX founder Elon Musk included clips from the "Iron Man" movie because Musk was supposedly the inspiration for the Tony Stark character in the movie. Of course, the producers look for any excuse to include movie clips in their stories because it keeps viewers tuned in and keeps the ratings high. Well done. [Editors Note: On Tuesday (5/22), Scott Pelley did a three-minute profile of Musk on The CBS Evening News. There was no mention of Iron Man, and there were no clips from the movie. Obviously, CBS is interested in reporting news while NBC is interested in pumping up their ratings with gratuitous movie and TV clips.]
***Next, we saw a 2:15 "news story" about a retired Army colonel who was cast in the "Battleship" movie despite having lost both his legs in combat. The story contained plenty of clips from the movie, which was--surprise--released by Universal Pictures, which is owned by NBC Universal (at least correspondent Mara Schiavocampo was honest enough to admit this). So this story was just a big fat promotional ad for a Universal movie. Nice. [Editor's Note: "Battleship" earned an anemic $25 million during its premier weekend, so Nightly News's efforts to promote the film apparently had no effect on ticket sales.]
***The final story was a "Making A Difference" piece about a man in Kentucky who bought out the remaining stock from a soon-to-close Kmart store and donated it all to charity. That's a nice thing to do, but how is this news? It isn't. But sappy feelgood stories like this one get better ratings than actual news, so the producers make sure to constantly include these stories in the broadcast. Because Nightly News is a joke and the producers are more interested in getting high ratings than reporting news. This MAD piece was sponsored by Phillips Colon Health, which seems appropriate, since the story was really just a load of crap. At one point in the story, we saw a clip of an interview with a woman named Camille Colon. I suspect that that isn't her real name, but rather was made up by the producers to help promote Phillips Colon Health.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Brian Williams & NBC Nightly News Show Notes: 5/5/12 Through 5/11/12 (Revised--Full Week)
Big news on NBC Nightly News this week: "The Avengers", the Supermoon and promoting NBC sponsors. Not big news: Iran, Iraq, Syria and most other foreign stories. Here's what you may have missed on the broadcast this past week:
Sat. May 5--There was no Nightly News because of NBC's Kentucky Derby coverage, which ran from 4:00-7:00 PM on the east coast. So NBC devoted three hours to a two-minute horse race. That would be the equivalent of devoting 360 hours to a four-hour football game. Maybe I shouldn't say anything--I don't want to give NBC any ideas for the 2015 Super Bowl.
Sun. May 6--The lead story was the presidential election in France. In the preview at the top of the broadcast, an on-screen graphic described this election as a "Political Earthquake". What a joke. Nightly News completely ignored the French election all through the campaign. They did not report a single story about it until today, yet they describe it as a "Political Earthquake". If it's such a "Political Earthquake", shouldn't they have reported on it sooner? This is typical of Nightly News's method of operation. They ignore an important story for weeks or months, and then jump on the bandwagon and pretend that they're "all over it". What a bunch of phonies and hypocrites. The FCC should require the producers to run a disclaimer stating, "By the way, we've ignored this story for the past three months because it wouldn't have generated the high ratings that we get from idiotic stories about whales, penguins, Kate Middleton and hit movies."
***A 2:15 story about security at the London Olympics was, of course, just another opportunity for the Nightly News producers to promote NBC's upcoming Olympic coverage.
***Lester Holt took 30 seconds to read an obituary for George Lindsey (who played Goober on "The Andy Griffith Show"). The producers always pack their broadcast with old TV and movie clips because that's a sure way to boost the ratings.
***Lester then spent 25 seconds telling us that the National Christmas Tree had died. Because apparently, this is news at NBC.
***And he spent an additional 20 seconds reporting that the new "Avengers" movie took in over $200 million at the domestic box office over the weekend. Obviously, showing clips from hit movies generates good ratings for the broadcast.
***The final story of the night was a two-minute story about the Supermoon. The story was titled "Moonstruck". This title is a calculated ratings ploy by the producers because they understand that using movie titles for their stories strikes a chord of recognition with the viewers and taps into their thirst for entertainment stories. Throughout the broadcast, we were shown three promos (totalling 30 seconds) for the Supermoon story. So the Nightly News producers spent more time promoting the Supermoon story than they spent reporting on Iran, Iraq or Syria (no stories on those countries were reported this night). But at least we know all about Goober's death, the National Christmas Tree, "The Avengers" and the Supermoon. Great work, Nightly News producers.
Mon. May 7--I love Pete Williams! Once again, he refused to respond to Brian Williams's treacly "Good evening, Pete". Instead of saying "Good evening, Brian", he just launched right into his story about the thwarted al-Qaeda bomb plot. Man, how Pete must despise Brian. I think that just below camera level, Pete is giving Brian the finger.
***Here's what Brian said while interviewing counterterrorism expert Michael Leiter about the bomb plot: "Final quick question--for those of US who fly--WE saw the liquid ban after one attempt--WE saw other security measures after the so-called underwear bomb attempt--do you think WE will see evidence at an airport near us in the future that comes out of this intercept today?" Us, we. Is there any doubt that the news is first and foremost about Brian? By the way, for those of you who were wondering: Brian didn't literally kiss Leiter's ass. Only figuratively.
***Brian devoted 2:20 to the elections in France and Greece. This was only the second Nightly News story about the French election. By comparison, Nightly News has reported nine stories about the Northern Lights, five stories about the President singing Al Green and four stories about homeless high school student Samantha Garvey. Obviously, Brian has his priorities straight.
***A story about obesity in America included a clip from a Taco Bell commercial. So feigning concern about the obesity problem is really just an excuse for the producers to show a paid product placement for a regular NBC Universal sponsor. Nice.
***Brian spent 35 seconds telling us about an 18-wheeler that was hit by a train in North Carolina (no one was injured). Obviously, Brian doesn't understand the difference between local news and national news.
***Next, he spent 33 seconds reporting on a 17-inning baseball game between the Red Sox and the Orioles. Wow. Glad I know about that.
***And then he spent 30 seconds telling us that the new "Avengers" movie earned more that $200 million in domestic box office receipts over the weekend. That sounds familiar. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah--Lester reported the exact same story on Sunday. But a story doesn't really count unless Brian himself reports it. This is the third "Avengers" story Nightly News has done--that's one more story than they've done about the French election.
***SUPERMOON ALERT!!! SUPERMOON ALERT!!! Here's what Brian said: "This was a big weekend for moon watchers--it's like everyone realized all over again the incredible joy the nighttime sky can bring." And I'm sure everyone realized all over again what an incredible asshole Brian is. Naturally, this Supermoon story was also titled "Moonstruck". Because, that's like, you know, a movie we all love. This is the fourth Supermoon story Nightly News has done in the past five days--that's two more stories than they've done about the French election.
***The broadcast ended with a "news story" about the restoration of the boat that was used in the movie "The African Queen". Really. I mean it. I'm not kidding. This is what merits 2:12 on Nightly News. Meanwhile, also on this day, Syria held sham parliamentary elections. Nightly News ignored this story, but at least Brian told us all about "The Avengers", the Supermoon and "The African Queen". I honestly can't understand why thousands of irate viewers aren't marching on 30 Rock with torches and pitchforks demanding the heads of Brian Williams and NBC News President Steve Capus for airing an idiotic fake news broadcast every night. Come on, people--Occupy 30 Rock!
Tues. May 8--Pete Williams rocks! For the second consecutive night, he dissed Brian. I thought I saw Pete mouth the words "Fuck you, Brian". But I could be mistaken.
***In a story about falling gas prices, Brian said, "It all means WE may not see the apocalyptic predictions of $5.00 a gallon gas this summer." Wait a second! Brian is one of the screaming alarmists who were making those predictions! In February and March, Nightly News reported ten stories on rising gas prices, and most of those stories tried to scare us into believing we would soon be paying $5.00 a gallon. What a hypocrite. And a narcissist--once again he managed to use the word "we". I'm sure that Brian and his 8-figure salary wouldn't even notice $5.00-a-gallon prices. His chauffeur probably pays for gas and gets reimbursed directly from Brian's accountant.
***Here's how Brian began his obituary for children's author Maurice Sendak: "There was a lot of sadness among adults who were once kids themselves...." As opposed to whom? Adults who weren't kids?
***Before the first commercial break, Brian previewed the upcoming "Making A Difference" story. But instead of showing footage from that story, the producers accidentally showed one of the blue Nightly News internal production cards for a different story. Once again, the producers must have fallen asleep in the control room. Probably from boredom.
***Next, Brian spent 30 seconds telling us that March and April saw above-average temperatures. "Government weather experts are out with the numbers tonight for April confirming what a lot of us already knew--it was warm." There's nothing Brian likes more than telling us how much he knows about stuff and how much of an expert he is on various subjects.
***After that, Brian read an obituary for game show creator Bob Stewart. Because creating "Password" and "The Price Is Right" are really outstanding achievements that deserve to be honored on a network news broadcast.
***Then he read an obit for James Browning, who held the bible during John F. Kennedy's swearing-in ceremony. Because of his creepy JFK obsession, Brian will report an obit for anyone who was ever photographed with JFK. This is the 19th Nightly News story since September to include clips of JFK or Jackie. I'm pretty certain that Brian makes his wife dress up in Oleg Cassini dresses and pillbox hats while talking with a Boston accent so he can pretend that he's in bed with Jackie.
***The next story was one of the most unintentionally funny things I have ever seen on Nightly News. I almost spit root beer out of my nose when I heard Brian say, "There is fascinating new research that shows--thanks to the folks at Science magazine--what happens in our brains when we brag about ourselves...They estimate that these days people devote about 40% of everyday speech to telling other people what they feel or think." Brian Williams reading a story about bragging? That would be like Joan Rivers reading a story about cosmetic surgery or Mark McGwire reading a story about steroid use. No one brags more than Brian. People spend 40% of the day bragging? For him, the number is more like 98%. Or higher. And he read the story with a straight face, completely oblivious to the incredible irony of the whole situation. Priceless.
***The final story was a "Making A Difference" report about a Hollywood producer who founded an organization that helps kids in prison learn how to write poetry and prose. This story had zero news value. But that doesn't matter--because it was reported by Chelsea Clinton! As was the case with her previous Nightly News reports, Chelsea was photogenic and pleasant enough, but she has no journalistic acumen. She's like a male Luke Russert. It's sad that with so many qualified journalists looking for work, Brian and Steve Capus just handed a plum job to Chelsea because she's the daughter of a president. But, that's how things work at NBC News. They exploit people (exhibit A: Jenna Bush Hager). Chelsea is obviously being used as a ratings magnet. In fact, this is Chelsea's second Nightly News appearance during the important April-May sweeps period. Well, I guess turnabout is fair play. She's using NBC News just like NBC News is using her. But NBC definitely gets the better part of the bargain. As usual, Chelsea appeared live in the studio with Brian because he's obsessed with presidential spouses and daughters. I think I saw him drooling as he was leering at her. I hope she made it home safely.
Wed. May 9--The lead story, of course, was President Obama's declaration that he supports same-sex marriage. Brian was clearly seething because this story broke on ABC News and NBC had to run video of the President's statement with a big "ABC News Exclusive" banner across the bottom of the screen. And Brian, naturally, did not even mention ABC by name. He never mentions competing networks because he's paralyzed with fear that if he utters "ABC" or "CBS", viewers will switch channels and his ratings will go down. Here's the most hilarious part of the story: Earlier in the week, Brian was strutting and crowing because on Sunday's "Meet The Press", Joe Biden told David Gregory that he supported same-sex marriage. NBC News exploited this news like they just broke the Watergate story. And then Pres. Obama blew NBC out of the water by talking exclusively to ABC about same-sex marriage. Psych! I actually think I saw smoke coming out of Brian's ears.
***At one point during this lead story, a gay rights advocate was shown speaking for 15 seconds, but he was never identified. Perhaps we were supposed to guess who he was.
***The idiotic Anne Thompson then wasted 2:10 of our time on a follow-up story about same-sex marriage. This story just rehashed old information and did not provide any new insight, although it did feature fifteen seconds worth of clips from "Modern Family", "Will & Grace" and "Ellen". Imagine: Over at CBS, Scott Pelley was able to do a story on same-sex marriage without using any TV clips. How on earth did he manage that? Oh yeah--I forgot. At CBS, they're interested in reporting news, not showing TV and movie clips.
***Before the first commercial break, Brian introduced what he led us to believe was a very important medical story about rheumatoid arthritis. In truth, this was really a very important promotional story about Pfizer and their new arthritis drug tofacitinib. Pfizer is a regular advertiser on Nightly News (and dozens of other shows on the many NBC Universal networks), and this story was produced as a way for NBC to kiss the collective ass of Pfizer (unless Pfizer actually paid NBC to air the story. We can't be sure that wasn't the case.). This story was reported by Robert Bazell, who is one of the biggest scumbags at NBC News. His main job is to promote NBC sponsors like Pfizer, GlaxoSmithKline and Bayer, which he does frequently in his sham "news stories".
***Next, we saw Kate Snow's report about high school girls who get concussions from playing soccer. This wasn't actually a news story, it was just a condensed version of a story that would be appearing on "Rock Center" later that night. So it was basically a three-minute commercial for "Rock Center".
***Next, Brian read an obituary for Vidal Sassoon. Nothing wrong with that--even Scott Pelley did an obit for Sassoon. The hilarious thing about this story was the juxtaposition of airing an obit for Vidal Sassoon right after we spent three minutes staring at Kate Snow's hideous dye job.
***An obit for former Attorney General Nicholas Katzenbach included a photo of him with Robert Kennedy. Anyone who has ever been in the same room with any of the Kennedys automatically gets an obit on Nightly News. Brian actually thinks of himself as Kennedy-esque and fantasizes that he's a member of the Kennedy family. I've heard that sometimes Brian stands in front of a mirror and says "Ich bin ein Berliner" over and over.
***The broadcast ended with a story about a Columbia University janitor who took courses there and will get his bachelor's degree in classics later this month. That's great. But why was this story given two minutes of valuable time on a network news broadcast? It's mind-boggling that on this night, Nightly News did not report a single foreign news story, but Brian and his producers spent seven minutes promoting Pfizer, reporting on girls' soccer concussions and telling us about a janitor who is getting a college degree. Unbelievable.
Thurs. May 10--This Nightly News broadcast was one for the ages. A classic. Like Wednesday night, the lead story was Pres. Obama's support for gay marriage. Why report this as the lead story for a second consecutive night? Because on this night, the President was speaking at a fund-raiser at George Clooney's house. So the producers entertained us by lingering on a newly-released photo of the President with Clooney. Brian and his producers put Clooney on Nightly News as often as possible because he's--you know--famous. And people like him. Especially female viewers. It's just another way for Brian to pander for ratings. He does that really well.
***During a story about Mitt Romney's days as a private school bully, the producers misspelled the name of political analyst Stu Rothenberg (in a graphic, they spelled it as "Ruthenberg"). So what. They don't care.
***A story about the $2 billion in bad investments by JPMorgan Chase was titled "Risky Business". Once again, a news story was given a movie title to make it seem more like pop culture. Brian figures that more people will watch a boring financial story if they think they'll get to see clips of Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay.
***During a story about the John Edwards trial, the Nightly News producers were forced to include excerpts from Edwards' damaging 2008 "Nightline" interview. This has been a bad week for Brian and his producers. On Wednesday, they had to show Pres. Obama's pro-gay marriage interview (which aired on ABC), and now they had to show Edwards' "Nightline" interview. It couldn't get much worse--unless George Clooney decided to go on Jimmy Kimmel's show. Then Nightly News would have to show a clip from that.
***The next story was about the mysterious large-scale death of bees. It was titled "Bee Mystery", which was undoubtedly meant to sound like a sequel to Jerry Seinfeld's 2007 movie "Bee Story" (surprisingly, they didn't show any clips from that film). While the story was ostensibly about Colony Collapse Disorder, there was actually a hidden agenda to this story. One recent theory about why bees are dying is that they are being killed by pesticides manufactured by Bayer. Bayer is by far the most frequent advertiser on Nightly News--they run as many as four commercials per night for their products such as Bayer Aspirin, Aleve, Alka-Seltzer, One A Day vitamins, etc. And of course Bayer also advertises on other NBC Universal networks, so they pay NBC Universal millions and millions of dollars per year in ad fees. So the whole point of this story was to give the weasels from Bayer 30 seconds of free network news time to deny that their pesticides are causing Colony Collapse Disorder. It's just a little something that the NBC weasels did for the Bayer weasels, their good pals. And why not? On Wednesday, the producers aired a two-minute story to help Pfizer, so why shouldn't they also do a story that helps Bayer? FYI--moments after this story ended, Nightly News ran an ad for Bayer's One A Day vitamins. Not surprising. By the way, the funniest part of this story was seeing the idiotic Anne Thompson dressed in a head-to-toe beekeeper's suit. She should be required to wear one of those suits every time she's on-camera.
***Brian then took 36 seconds to tell us that the Dawn spacecraft is sending back data about a large asteroid named Vesta, and also that a meteor fell in Nevada and California a few weeks ago. Brian has a junior-high-school-like fixation on space stuff, and we all know that the point of Nightly News is to report on Brian's favorite stuff. Because his favorite stuff is much more important than actual news, right? Right.
***This next story was one of the most sickening things I have ever seen on Nightly News, or on any newscast ever. Remember back on March 27 when Brian introduced a sickening three-minute "news story" about NBC Universal's new program ("Hiring Our Heroes") to help get jobs for military veterans? Well, he's at it again. This time it's another nauseating self-promoting program to help veterans integrate back into their communities, or some bullshit like that. Here's how Brian introduced it: "Tonight an unprecedented effort to help American military men and women return to their families and some sense of a normal life back here at home. With combat operations starting to wind down, more than one million veterans will be returning home to their communities. Which brings us to a new campaign we here at NBC Universal are very proud to be a part of--and it takes its name from a military phrase--'I've got your 6'." Then for the next two minutes we saw video of veterans talking about the program, along with clips from the slickly-produced NBC promotional video that featured Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan and other people who I did not recognize (but are certainly appearing in NBC shows). Michael Douglas was also featured in the video, because Brian has a huge man-crush on him. Oh yeah--Brian himself was featured in the video because his massive ego requires him to appear on screen as much as possible (just wait until you see his 2012 college commencement address later this month). Brian ended the story by saying, "This is a great campaign--a lot of great people are involved--and if you're interested in joining in--getting involved in the work--we've put more information on our website." Just a second--I think I'm getting sick all over again. Okay, I took a few deep breaths and I feel better now. First of all--unprecedented? Maybe Brian doesn't understand what that word means. It's hard to believe that no one has ever before launched a program to integrate vets back into civilian life. But it's more likely that Brian understands what "unprecedented" means but he's just lying when he used it to describe this program. But there's a bigger picture here. Can someone please explain to me how the hell it's the job of a news organization to initiate a program for veterans--and then report on it as if it was actual news? What an appalling breach of journalistic ethics. The job of NBC News is to report news, not create it for self-promotional purposes. This is just another one of Brian's rah-rah, gung-ho, eagle-soaring, flag-waving stories calculated to stir up patriotic feelings and gain good ratings among the NASCAR demographic. We all know Brian has given himself the responsibility of helping children of his friends (like Luke Russert) and presidential progeny (like Chelsea Clinton), but now he's also deluded himself into thinking that it's his job to help veterans, too. What an ego. His job is to report news, not waste time on his personal fixations. This is just Brian patting his own back for pandering to the viewers' sense of faux-patriotism. "Look how great I am! Look what I'm doing for our vets! Love me, love me, love me!" Nightly News viewers are certainly aware that Brian is a fawning sycophantic toady who gets off by carrying water for the American military. He has single-handedly turned Nightly News into the propaganda arm of the U.S. armed services. And now, he's somehow convinced NBC News President Steve Capus to go along with this grotesque self-promotional display of jingoism. I guess it's not a big surprise. Capus will do anything to keep Brian happy (such as continuing to carry the burdensome "Rock Center" on the NBC schedule despite its horrendous ratings). So he's willing to indulge Brian in this shameless and egotistical pursuit. And from a ratings perspective, it's probably not going to hurt. No one ever lost ratings points by waving the American flag around (Brian proves that every night). I have to say this is one of the most sickening things Nightly News has ever done--and that's saying a lot. How does the FCC allow this sham news organization to continue operating? What a waste of 2:20 of valuable news time.
***By comparison, this next story is somewhat less sickening. But only somewhat. Brian spent 25 seconds narrating a story about the ceremony in Greece for the lighting of the Olympic torch. So although Greece is currently going through one of its most dire political and economic crises in history, Nightly News ignored that and chose instead to report on the torch-lighting ceremony. Obviously, promoting NBC's Olympic coverage is far more important that covering Greek politics. Appalling.
***For the final story of the night, Nightly News devoted 2:20 to reporting that Prince Charles delivered a weather report on a BBC broadcast in Scotland. Naturally, the story included clips of Will & Kate, Prince Harry and Queen Elizabeth. To put this in context, BBC World News America only spent a minute reporting this story. So Nightly News spent more than twice as much time on this story as the British Broadcasting Corporation. That's hilarious, but also pathetic. Brian is infatuated with the Royal Family, so obviously his fingerprints were all over this story. And Brian gets to do whatever the hell he wants. Throughout the broadcast, Nightly News showed three promos (totalling twenty seconds) for this story. The first promo, at the top of the broadcast, carried the title "The Weather Channel", because that's a weaselly way to promote an NBC Universal property. The story itself was titled "Modern Family", which was just a sleazy way for Nightly News to capitalize on the popular ABC sitcom of the same name. I could see giving this story fifteen seconds. But 2:20? That's a joke.
***So let's recap. Clips of George Clooney and Michael Douglas (who does Brian have a bigger man-crush on?). Story titles lifted from movie and TV titles. A forum for Bayer to defend their sleazy bee-killing pesticides. Asteroids and meteors. Exploiting veterans to promote NBC TV shows and pander for ratings. Ignoring the Greek economic and political crises in order to report on the Olympic torch-lighting ceremony. And more than two minutes devoted to Prince Charles reporting the weather. I told you this Nightly News broadcast was one for the ages. You didn't think I meant that in a good way, did you? I only hope the Peabody Award Evaluation Committee members were watching.
Fri. May 11--Once again, the lead story about JPMorgan Chase was titled "Risky Business". Because at Nightly News, everything boils down to entertainment.
***A story about recovering from a stroke included a photo of John F. Kennedy, even though he never had a stroke. But that's just a minor detail. What really matters is satisfying Brian's JFK obsession. Mission accomplished!
***Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about the murder trial of the man who killed Jennifer Hudson's family members. Because, she's like, you know, really famous.
***Next, we saw a 2:20 story about middle-aged women who have had to change careers. News value: Zero. After this story, Brian said this: "There's a lot more on this for everybody from our friends, the experts at AARP, on our website...." Friends? How are they his friends? Why is Brian so desperate to make people think everyone is his "friend"? I have never seen anyone so insecure and so desperate to be thought of as likeable.
***A surfer in Portugal rode a 78-foot wave. This is what gets airtime on Nightly News. Maybe they should have put a "Breaking News" banner across the bottom of the screen.
***Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about a 70-year-old British plane that was found in the Sahara Desert. So on this day, Brian did not report a single story about the many military conflicts currently raging around the globe, but news of a 70-year-old World War II plane gets air time. Great.
***Here's how Brian began an overlong obituary for car designer Carroll Shelby: "Every American kid who grew up loving cars lost a giant today and for SOME OF US hard-core car guys he was a hero." Some of us. Because the news is always about Brian. At Nightly News, stories get reported based not on their importance, but on their importance to Brian. And he just had to brag some more about his hobbies. I never hear Scott Pelley calling himself a "hard-core" anything guy.
***After that, Brian read a 20-second story about a returning Marine who was greeted by his son who has cerebral palsy and who had learned to walk while his father was away. Yeah, I guess I can understand how this is a more important story than what's going on in Syria, Afghanistan or Iraq.
***The final story was about the increased interest in archery since "The Hunger Games" was released. Obviously, this 2:20 story was just an excuse to show lots of clips from the movie, since movie clips are what keep viewers tuned in. Here's a thought: Maybe people who turn on the news actually want to see news stories. Nah, never mind. Forget it. Much of this story was comprised of footage of correspondent Kristen Dahlgren learning to shoot with a bow and arrow because she's one of the most self-involved reporters working in TV news today.
Sat. May 5--There was no Nightly News because of NBC's Kentucky Derby coverage, which ran from 4:00-7:00 PM on the east coast. So NBC devoted three hours to a two-minute horse race. That would be the equivalent of devoting 360 hours to a four-hour football game. Maybe I shouldn't say anything--I don't want to give NBC any ideas for the 2015 Super Bowl.
Sun. May 6--The lead story was the presidential election in France. In the preview at the top of the broadcast, an on-screen graphic described this election as a "Political Earthquake". What a joke. Nightly News completely ignored the French election all through the campaign. They did not report a single story about it until today, yet they describe it as a "Political Earthquake". If it's such a "Political Earthquake", shouldn't they have reported on it sooner? This is typical of Nightly News's method of operation. They ignore an important story for weeks or months, and then jump on the bandwagon and pretend that they're "all over it". What a bunch of phonies and hypocrites. The FCC should require the producers to run a disclaimer stating, "By the way, we've ignored this story for the past three months because it wouldn't have generated the high ratings that we get from idiotic stories about whales, penguins, Kate Middleton and hit movies."
***A 2:15 story about security at the London Olympics was, of course, just another opportunity for the Nightly News producers to promote NBC's upcoming Olympic coverage.
***Lester Holt took 30 seconds to read an obituary for George Lindsey (who played Goober on "The Andy Griffith Show"). The producers always pack their broadcast with old TV and movie clips because that's a sure way to boost the ratings.
***Lester then spent 25 seconds telling us that the National Christmas Tree had died. Because apparently, this is news at NBC.
***And he spent an additional 20 seconds reporting that the new "Avengers" movie took in over $200 million at the domestic box office over the weekend. Obviously, showing clips from hit movies generates good ratings for the broadcast.
***The final story of the night was a two-minute story about the Supermoon. The story was titled "Moonstruck". This title is a calculated ratings ploy by the producers because they understand that using movie titles for their stories strikes a chord of recognition with the viewers and taps into their thirst for entertainment stories. Throughout the broadcast, we were shown three promos (totalling 30 seconds) for the Supermoon story. So the Nightly News producers spent more time promoting the Supermoon story than they spent reporting on Iran, Iraq or Syria (no stories on those countries were reported this night). But at least we know all about Goober's death, the National Christmas Tree, "The Avengers" and the Supermoon. Great work, Nightly News producers.
Mon. May 7--I love Pete Williams! Once again, he refused to respond to Brian Williams's treacly "Good evening, Pete". Instead of saying "Good evening, Brian", he just launched right into his story about the thwarted al-Qaeda bomb plot. Man, how Pete must despise Brian. I think that just below camera level, Pete is giving Brian the finger.
***Here's what Brian said while interviewing counterterrorism expert Michael Leiter about the bomb plot: "Final quick question--for those of US who fly--WE saw the liquid ban after one attempt--WE saw other security measures after the so-called underwear bomb attempt--do you think WE will see evidence at an airport near us in the future that comes out of this intercept today?" Us, we. Is there any doubt that the news is first and foremost about Brian? By the way, for those of you who were wondering: Brian didn't literally kiss Leiter's ass. Only figuratively.
***Brian devoted 2:20 to the elections in France and Greece. This was only the second Nightly News story about the French election. By comparison, Nightly News has reported nine stories about the Northern Lights, five stories about the President singing Al Green and four stories about homeless high school student Samantha Garvey. Obviously, Brian has his priorities straight.
***A story about obesity in America included a clip from a Taco Bell commercial. So feigning concern about the obesity problem is really just an excuse for the producers to show a paid product placement for a regular NBC Universal sponsor. Nice.
***Brian spent 35 seconds telling us about an 18-wheeler that was hit by a train in North Carolina (no one was injured). Obviously, Brian doesn't understand the difference between local news and national news.
***Next, he spent 33 seconds reporting on a 17-inning baseball game between the Red Sox and the Orioles. Wow. Glad I know about that.
***And then he spent 30 seconds telling us that the new "Avengers" movie earned more that $200 million in domestic box office receipts over the weekend. That sounds familiar. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah--Lester reported the exact same story on Sunday. But a story doesn't really count unless Brian himself reports it. This is the third "Avengers" story Nightly News has done--that's one more story than they've done about the French election.
***SUPERMOON ALERT!!! SUPERMOON ALERT!!! Here's what Brian said: "This was a big weekend for moon watchers--it's like everyone realized all over again the incredible joy the nighttime sky can bring." And I'm sure everyone realized all over again what an incredible asshole Brian is. Naturally, this Supermoon story was also titled "Moonstruck". Because, that's like, you know, a movie we all love. This is the fourth Supermoon story Nightly News has done in the past five days--that's two more stories than they've done about the French election.
***The broadcast ended with a "news story" about the restoration of the boat that was used in the movie "The African Queen". Really. I mean it. I'm not kidding. This is what merits 2:12 on Nightly News. Meanwhile, also on this day, Syria held sham parliamentary elections. Nightly News ignored this story, but at least Brian told us all about "The Avengers", the Supermoon and "The African Queen". I honestly can't understand why thousands of irate viewers aren't marching on 30 Rock with torches and pitchforks demanding the heads of Brian Williams and NBC News President Steve Capus for airing an idiotic fake news broadcast every night. Come on, people--Occupy 30 Rock!
Tues. May 8--Pete Williams rocks! For the second consecutive night, he dissed Brian. I thought I saw Pete mouth the words "Fuck you, Brian". But I could be mistaken.
***In a story about falling gas prices, Brian said, "It all means WE may not see the apocalyptic predictions of $5.00 a gallon gas this summer." Wait a second! Brian is one of the screaming alarmists who were making those predictions! In February and March, Nightly News reported ten stories on rising gas prices, and most of those stories tried to scare us into believing we would soon be paying $5.00 a gallon. What a hypocrite. And a narcissist--once again he managed to use the word "we". I'm sure that Brian and his 8-figure salary wouldn't even notice $5.00-a-gallon prices. His chauffeur probably pays for gas and gets reimbursed directly from Brian's accountant.
***Here's how Brian began his obituary for children's author Maurice Sendak: "There was a lot of sadness among adults who were once kids themselves...." As opposed to whom? Adults who weren't kids?
***Before the first commercial break, Brian previewed the upcoming "Making A Difference" story. But instead of showing footage from that story, the producers accidentally showed one of the blue Nightly News internal production cards for a different story. Once again, the producers must have fallen asleep in the control room. Probably from boredom.
***Next, Brian spent 30 seconds telling us that March and April saw above-average temperatures. "Government weather experts are out with the numbers tonight for April confirming what a lot of us already knew--it was warm." There's nothing Brian likes more than telling us how much he knows about stuff and how much of an expert he is on various subjects.
***After that, Brian read an obituary for game show creator Bob Stewart. Because creating "Password" and "The Price Is Right" are really outstanding achievements that deserve to be honored on a network news broadcast.
***Then he read an obit for James Browning, who held the bible during John F. Kennedy's swearing-in ceremony. Because of his creepy JFK obsession, Brian will report an obit for anyone who was ever photographed with JFK. This is the 19th Nightly News story since September to include clips of JFK or Jackie. I'm pretty certain that Brian makes his wife dress up in Oleg Cassini dresses and pillbox hats while talking with a Boston accent so he can pretend that he's in bed with Jackie.
***The next story was one of the most unintentionally funny things I have ever seen on Nightly News. I almost spit root beer out of my nose when I heard Brian say, "There is fascinating new research that shows--thanks to the folks at Science magazine--what happens in our brains when we brag about ourselves...They estimate that these days people devote about 40% of everyday speech to telling other people what they feel or think." Brian Williams reading a story about bragging? That would be like Joan Rivers reading a story about cosmetic surgery or Mark McGwire reading a story about steroid use. No one brags more than Brian. People spend 40% of the day bragging? For him, the number is more like 98%. Or higher. And he read the story with a straight face, completely oblivious to the incredible irony of the whole situation. Priceless.
***The final story was a "Making A Difference" report about a Hollywood producer who founded an organization that helps kids in prison learn how to write poetry and prose. This story had zero news value. But that doesn't matter--because it was reported by Chelsea Clinton! As was the case with her previous Nightly News reports, Chelsea was photogenic and pleasant enough, but she has no journalistic acumen. She's like a male Luke Russert. It's sad that with so many qualified journalists looking for work, Brian and Steve Capus just handed a plum job to Chelsea because she's the daughter of a president. But, that's how things work at NBC News. They exploit people (exhibit A: Jenna Bush Hager). Chelsea is obviously being used as a ratings magnet. In fact, this is Chelsea's second Nightly News appearance during the important April-May sweeps period. Well, I guess turnabout is fair play. She's using NBC News just like NBC News is using her. But NBC definitely gets the better part of the bargain. As usual, Chelsea appeared live in the studio with Brian because he's obsessed with presidential spouses and daughters. I think I saw him drooling as he was leering at her. I hope she made it home safely.
Wed. May 9--The lead story, of course, was President Obama's declaration that he supports same-sex marriage. Brian was clearly seething because this story broke on ABC News and NBC had to run video of the President's statement with a big "ABC News Exclusive" banner across the bottom of the screen. And Brian, naturally, did not even mention ABC by name. He never mentions competing networks because he's paralyzed with fear that if he utters "ABC" or "CBS", viewers will switch channels and his ratings will go down. Here's the most hilarious part of the story: Earlier in the week, Brian was strutting and crowing because on Sunday's "Meet The Press", Joe Biden told David Gregory that he supported same-sex marriage. NBC News exploited this news like they just broke the Watergate story. And then Pres. Obama blew NBC out of the water by talking exclusively to ABC about same-sex marriage. Psych! I actually think I saw smoke coming out of Brian's ears.
***At one point during this lead story, a gay rights advocate was shown speaking for 15 seconds, but he was never identified. Perhaps we were supposed to guess who he was.
***The idiotic Anne Thompson then wasted 2:10 of our time on a follow-up story about same-sex marriage. This story just rehashed old information and did not provide any new insight, although it did feature fifteen seconds worth of clips from "Modern Family", "Will & Grace" and "Ellen". Imagine: Over at CBS, Scott Pelley was able to do a story on same-sex marriage without using any TV clips. How on earth did he manage that? Oh yeah--I forgot. At CBS, they're interested in reporting news, not showing TV and movie clips.
***Before the first commercial break, Brian introduced what he led us to believe was a very important medical story about rheumatoid arthritis. In truth, this was really a very important promotional story about Pfizer and their new arthritis drug tofacitinib. Pfizer is a regular advertiser on Nightly News (and dozens of other shows on the many NBC Universal networks), and this story was produced as a way for NBC to kiss the collective ass of Pfizer (unless Pfizer actually paid NBC to air the story. We can't be sure that wasn't the case.). This story was reported by Robert Bazell, who is one of the biggest scumbags at NBC News. His main job is to promote NBC sponsors like Pfizer, GlaxoSmithKline and Bayer, which he does frequently in his sham "news stories".
***Next, we saw Kate Snow's report about high school girls who get concussions from playing soccer. This wasn't actually a news story, it was just a condensed version of a story that would be appearing on "Rock Center" later that night. So it was basically a three-minute commercial for "Rock Center".
***Next, Brian read an obituary for Vidal Sassoon. Nothing wrong with that--even Scott Pelley did an obit for Sassoon. The hilarious thing about this story was the juxtaposition of airing an obit for Vidal Sassoon right after we spent three minutes staring at Kate Snow's hideous dye job.
***An obit for former Attorney General Nicholas Katzenbach included a photo of him with Robert Kennedy. Anyone who has ever been in the same room with any of the Kennedys automatically gets an obit on Nightly News. Brian actually thinks of himself as Kennedy-esque and fantasizes that he's a member of the Kennedy family. I've heard that sometimes Brian stands in front of a mirror and says "Ich bin ein Berliner" over and over.
***The broadcast ended with a story about a Columbia University janitor who took courses there and will get his bachelor's degree in classics later this month. That's great. But why was this story given two minutes of valuable time on a network news broadcast? It's mind-boggling that on this night, Nightly News did not report a single foreign news story, but Brian and his producers spent seven minutes promoting Pfizer, reporting on girls' soccer concussions and telling us about a janitor who is getting a college degree. Unbelievable.
Thurs. May 10--This Nightly News broadcast was one for the ages. A classic. Like Wednesday night, the lead story was Pres. Obama's support for gay marriage. Why report this as the lead story for a second consecutive night? Because on this night, the President was speaking at a fund-raiser at George Clooney's house. So the producers entertained us by lingering on a newly-released photo of the President with Clooney. Brian and his producers put Clooney on Nightly News as often as possible because he's--you know--famous. And people like him. Especially female viewers. It's just another way for Brian to pander for ratings. He does that really well.
***During a story about Mitt Romney's days as a private school bully, the producers misspelled the name of political analyst Stu Rothenberg (in a graphic, they spelled it as "Ruthenberg"). So what. They don't care.
***A story about the $2 billion in bad investments by JPMorgan Chase was titled "Risky Business". Once again, a news story was given a movie title to make it seem more like pop culture. Brian figures that more people will watch a boring financial story if they think they'll get to see clips of Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay.
***During a story about the John Edwards trial, the Nightly News producers were forced to include excerpts from Edwards' damaging 2008 "Nightline" interview. This has been a bad week for Brian and his producers. On Wednesday, they had to show Pres. Obama's pro-gay marriage interview (which aired on ABC), and now they had to show Edwards' "Nightline" interview. It couldn't get much worse--unless George Clooney decided to go on Jimmy Kimmel's show. Then Nightly News would have to show a clip from that.
***The next story was about the mysterious large-scale death of bees. It was titled "Bee Mystery", which was undoubtedly meant to sound like a sequel to Jerry Seinfeld's 2007 movie "Bee Story" (surprisingly, they didn't show any clips from that film). While the story was ostensibly about Colony Collapse Disorder, there was actually a hidden agenda to this story. One recent theory about why bees are dying is that they are being killed by pesticides manufactured by Bayer. Bayer is by far the most frequent advertiser on Nightly News--they run as many as four commercials per night for their products such as Bayer Aspirin, Aleve, Alka-Seltzer, One A Day vitamins, etc. And of course Bayer also advertises on other NBC Universal networks, so they pay NBC Universal millions and millions of dollars per year in ad fees. So the whole point of this story was to give the weasels from Bayer 30 seconds of free network news time to deny that their pesticides are causing Colony Collapse Disorder. It's just a little something that the NBC weasels did for the Bayer weasels, their good pals. And why not? On Wednesday, the producers aired a two-minute story to help Pfizer, so why shouldn't they also do a story that helps Bayer? FYI--moments after this story ended, Nightly News ran an ad for Bayer's One A Day vitamins. Not surprising. By the way, the funniest part of this story was seeing the idiotic Anne Thompson dressed in a head-to-toe beekeeper's suit. She should be required to wear one of those suits every time she's on-camera.
***Brian then took 36 seconds to tell us that the Dawn spacecraft is sending back data about a large asteroid named Vesta, and also that a meteor fell in Nevada and California a few weeks ago. Brian has a junior-high-school-like fixation on space stuff, and we all know that the point of Nightly News is to report on Brian's favorite stuff. Because his favorite stuff is much more important than actual news, right? Right.
***This next story was one of the most sickening things I have ever seen on Nightly News, or on any newscast ever. Remember back on March 27 when Brian introduced a sickening three-minute "news story" about NBC Universal's new program ("Hiring Our Heroes") to help get jobs for military veterans? Well, he's at it again. This time it's another nauseating self-promoting program to help veterans integrate back into their communities, or some bullshit like that. Here's how Brian introduced it: "Tonight an unprecedented effort to help American military men and women return to their families and some sense of a normal life back here at home. With combat operations starting to wind down, more than one million veterans will be returning home to their communities. Which brings us to a new campaign we here at NBC Universal are very proud to be a part of--and it takes its name from a military phrase--'I've got your 6'." Then for the next two minutes we saw video of veterans talking about the program, along with clips from the slickly-produced NBC promotional video that featured Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan and other people who I did not recognize (but are certainly appearing in NBC shows). Michael Douglas was also featured in the video, because Brian has a huge man-crush on him. Oh yeah--Brian himself was featured in the video because his massive ego requires him to appear on screen as much as possible (just wait until you see his 2012 college commencement address later this month). Brian ended the story by saying, "This is a great campaign--a lot of great people are involved--and if you're interested in joining in--getting involved in the work--we've put more information on our website." Just a second--I think I'm getting sick all over again. Okay, I took a few deep breaths and I feel better now. First of all--unprecedented? Maybe Brian doesn't understand what that word means. It's hard to believe that no one has ever before launched a program to integrate vets back into civilian life. But it's more likely that Brian understands what "unprecedented" means but he's just lying when he used it to describe this program. But there's a bigger picture here. Can someone please explain to me how the hell it's the job of a news organization to initiate a program for veterans--and then report on it as if it was actual news? What an appalling breach of journalistic ethics. The job of NBC News is to report news, not create it for self-promotional purposes. This is just another one of Brian's rah-rah, gung-ho, eagle-soaring, flag-waving stories calculated to stir up patriotic feelings and gain good ratings among the NASCAR demographic. We all know Brian has given himself the responsibility of helping children of his friends (like Luke Russert) and presidential progeny (like Chelsea Clinton), but now he's also deluded himself into thinking that it's his job to help veterans, too. What an ego. His job is to report news, not waste time on his personal fixations. This is just Brian patting his own back for pandering to the viewers' sense of faux-patriotism. "Look how great I am! Look what I'm doing for our vets! Love me, love me, love me!" Nightly News viewers are certainly aware that Brian is a fawning sycophantic toady who gets off by carrying water for the American military. He has single-handedly turned Nightly News into the propaganda arm of the U.S. armed services. And now, he's somehow convinced NBC News President Steve Capus to go along with this grotesque self-promotional display of jingoism. I guess it's not a big surprise. Capus will do anything to keep Brian happy (such as continuing to carry the burdensome "Rock Center" on the NBC schedule despite its horrendous ratings). So he's willing to indulge Brian in this shameless and egotistical pursuit. And from a ratings perspective, it's probably not going to hurt. No one ever lost ratings points by waving the American flag around (Brian proves that every night). I have to say this is one of the most sickening things Nightly News has ever done--and that's saying a lot. How does the FCC allow this sham news organization to continue operating? What a waste of 2:20 of valuable news time.
***By comparison, this next story is somewhat less sickening. But only somewhat. Brian spent 25 seconds narrating a story about the ceremony in Greece for the lighting of the Olympic torch. So although Greece is currently going through one of its most dire political and economic crises in history, Nightly News ignored that and chose instead to report on the torch-lighting ceremony. Obviously, promoting NBC's Olympic coverage is far more important that covering Greek politics. Appalling.
***For the final story of the night, Nightly News devoted 2:20 to reporting that Prince Charles delivered a weather report on a BBC broadcast in Scotland. Naturally, the story included clips of Will & Kate, Prince Harry and Queen Elizabeth. To put this in context, BBC World News America only spent a minute reporting this story. So Nightly News spent more than twice as much time on this story as the British Broadcasting Corporation. That's hilarious, but also pathetic. Brian is infatuated with the Royal Family, so obviously his fingerprints were all over this story. And Brian gets to do whatever the hell he wants. Throughout the broadcast, Nightly News showed three promos (totalling twenty seconds) for this story. The first promo, at the top of the broadcast, carried the title "The Weather Channel", because that's a weaselly way to promote an NBC Universal property. The story itself was titled "Modern Family", which was just a sleazy way for Nightly News to capitalize on the popular ABC sitcom of the same name. I could see giving this story fifteen seconds. But 2:20? That's a joke.
***So let's recap. Clips of George Clooney and Michael Douglas (who does Brian have a bigger man-crush on?). Story titles lifted from movie and TV titles. A forum for Bayer to defend their sleazy bee-killing pesticides. Asteroids and meteors. Exploiting veterans to promote NBC TV shows and pander for ratings. Ignoring the Greek economic and political crises in order to report on the Olympic torch-lighting ceremony. And more than two minutes devoted to Prince Charles reporting the weather. I told you this Nightly News broadcast was one for the ages. You didn't think I meant that in a good way, did you? I only hope the Peabody Award Evaluation Committee members were watching.
Fri. May 11--Once again, the lead story about JPMorgan Chase was titled "Risky Business". Because at Nightly News, everything boils down to entertainment.
***A story about recovering from a stroke included a photo of John F. Kennedy, even though he never had a stroke. But that's just a minor detail. What really matters is satisfying Brian's JFK obsession. Mission accomplished!
***Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about the murder trial of the man who killed Jennifer Hudson's family members. Because, she's like, you know, really famous.
***Next, we saw a 2:20 story about middle-aged women who have had to change careers. News value: Zero. After this story, Brian said this: "There's a lot more on this for everybody from our friends, the experts at AARP, on our website...." Friends? How are they his friends? Why is Brian so desperate to make people think everyone is his "friend"? I have never seen anyone so insecure and so desperate to be thought of as likeable.
***A surfer in Portugal rode a 78-foot wave. This is what gets airtime on Nightly News. Maybe they should have put a "Breaking News" banner across the bottom of the screen.
***Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about a 70-year-old British plane that was found in the Sahara Desert. So on this day, Brian did not report a single story about the many military conflicts currently raging around the globe, but news of a 70-year-old World War II plane gets air time. Great.
***Here's how Brian began an overlong obituary for car designer Carroll Shelby: "Every American kid who grew up loving cars lost a giant today and for SOME OF US hard-core car guys he was a hero." Some of us. Because the news is always about Brian. At Nightly News, stories get reported based not on their importance, but on their importance to Brian. And he just had to brag some more about his hobbies. I never hear Scott Pelley calling himself a "hard-core" anything guy.
***After that, Brian read a 20-second story about a returning Marine who was greeted by his son who has cerebral palsy and who had learned to walk while his father was away. Yeah, I guess I can understand how this is a more important story than what's going on in Syria, Afghanistan or Iraq.
***The final story was about the increased interest in archery since "The Hunger Games" was released. Obviously, this 2:20 story was just an excuse to show lots of clips from the movie, since movie clips are what keep viewers tuned in. Here's a thought: Maybe people who turn on the news actually want to see news stories. Nah, never mind. Forget it. Much of this story was comprised of footage of correspondent Kristen Dahlgren learning to shoot with a bow and arrow because she's one of the most self-involved reporters working in TV news today.
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