During Sunday's Nightly News story about the 2012 presidential race, a photo of Michele Bachmann accompanying some information from a Des Moines Register poll spelled the candidate's name as "Bachman". It is beyond belief that the Nightly News producers cannot manage to correctly spell the name of a major presidential candidate. This is even more appalling because seconds earlier, they spelled her name correctly during a clip from "Fox News Sunday". If the Nightly News producers can spell Bachmann's name correctly once, why can't they spell it correctly twice? The answer is because no one at Nightly News gives a damn about getting things right. They just don't care. At all.
Also on Sunday's broadcast, during a story about the Gay Marriage bill that passed in New York State, Mara Schiavocampo told us that, "The city estimates the new law will bring more than $180 million to the state in the next three years." That information was attributed on-screen to "New York City Comptroller William C. Thompson". William C. Thompson is no longer the NYC comptroller. His last term ended on Dec. 31, 2009, so he has been out of office for a year-and-a-half. John C. Liu is the current NYC comptroller. It is incredible that Schiavocampo and her producers cannot correctly identify the comptroller of the city from which their news broadcast originates. Any ten-year-old using Google could identify the current NYC comptroller in less than a minute. But a staff of Nightly News producers cannot manage to do that. Does anyone at Nightly News care the slightest bit about the facts? Clearly not. Incredible. Unbelievable.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Brian Williams: Born To Run On And On And On...
On Sunday, The CBS Evening News spent 30 seconds reporting the death of Clarence Clemons. That seems about right. I would estimate that Clemons' cultural impact was equivalent to that of Kenny Rogers, Kenny Loggins or former Doobie Brother Michael McDonald (although each of those three are, unlike Clemons, accomplished songwriters). But on Monday's Nightly News, Brian Williams spent an astounding three-and-a-half minutes eulogizing Clemons. It is appalling (not to mention unprofessional) that the Nightly News producers allow story lengths to be assigned based not on a subject's actual importance, but rather based on the subject's importance to Brian Williams. Nightly News viewers are well aware that Brian has still not outgrown his childish obsession with all things Springsteen. Brian frequently shoehorns Springsteen into news stories. No matter how slim (or non-existent) the connection, he uses any excuse to put Springsteen on his broadcast (he once forced 30 seconds of non sequitur Springsteen footage into a story about John Lennon). Monday's overlong Clemons obituary was, of course, just another opportunity for Brian to pack his broadcast with Springsteen songs and images. And (once again) to turn a news story into a story about himself. "Yesterday I found myself with a lot of other people from the Jersey Shore--we were drawn to the Stone Pony in Asbury Park...like everybody else there, I took pictures...." As usual, it's all about Brian, all the time. If Brian wants to do a three-and-a-half minute obit for Clemons, no problem--whatever Brian wants. If Brian wants to spend five-and-a-half minutes promoting the Spider-Man musical for his pals Bono and the Edge, no problem--whatever Brian wants. If Brian wants to devote nine ridiculously long minutes to following Jack Jacobs while he schleps around Vietnam, no problem. Brian gets to do whatever he wants, every night. (Back on 12/25/08, Brian spent four minutes plugging Jacobs' latest book.) So I'm wondering--how much time will Brian devote to obituaries for Kenny Rogers, Kenny Loggins or Michael McDonald?
Once again, there was no Nightly News on Saturday or Sunday because obviously, golf was far more important (translation: more profitable) to the geniuses at NBC. Their commitment to news is so tenuous, I wonder why they bother to air Nightly News at all. It seems like only a matter of time before they scrap their news broadcast entirely in favor of something more profitable. Like an extra half-hour of Access Hollywood or an evening version of "The Today Show". Oh that's right--they already have an evening version of "The Today Show". It's called Nightly News.
Once again, there was no Nightly News on Saturday or Sunday because obviously, golf was far more important (translation: more profitable) to the geniuses at NBC. Their commitment to news is so tenuous, I wonder why they bother to air Nightly News at all. It seems like only a matter of time before they scrap their news broadcast entirely in favor of something more profitable. Like an extra half-hour of Access Hollywood or an evening version of "The Today Show". Oh that's right--they already have an evening version of "The Today Show". It's called Nightly News.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Nightly News Show Notes: June 12-June 17
It's been a really exciting week at Nightly News. Here's what you missed if you weren't watching:
Sunday 6/12--The lead story on Anthony Weiner was reported by Luke Russert. That's pretty funny because Russert does not have even the tiniest bit of ability as an investigator or reporter. Obviously, he got his job because Brian Williams created it and handed it to him on a silver platter. How absurd is it for NBC to give a prized on-air job to a 23-year-old kid with no broadcast journalism experience? Most people toil for years in obscurity before getting on the air. Not Luke Russert. He gets fast-tracked. What are the chances that Russert would have gotten that job if his name was Luke Smith or Luke Jones? For those "Sopranos" fans out there, Luke Russert is Christopher Moltisanti. Tony Soprano took Christopher (a screw-up if ever there was one) under his wing after Chris's father died--just like Brian did with Luke Russert. I just hope Russert has a better outcome than Moltisanti did. (I guess that also means that Andrea Mitchell is Carmella, Robert Bazell is Pauly Walnuts, Nancy Snyderman is Janice and George Lewis is Uncle Junior.)
There was no Nightly News on Saturday because obviously horse racing was much more important. So Sunday's broadcast was the first Nightly News to air in 48 hours. And what did they choose to run a 2:10 story on? Will and Kate. The entirety of this piece was devoted to describing in detail what Kate wore to various functions: "She recycled the hat she wore for her Royal duties earlier in the day--and a dress last seen on commoner Kate in 2007." Breaking news if ever there was. That's what the Nightly News producers want us to know about the important news of the day. What Kate wore. And the previous Friday's broadcast also featured a 2:05 story on the Royal Family because that's obviously much more important than real news. Pitiful.
Monday 6/13--I burst out laughing when I heard Chuck Todd accuse Pres. Obama of "rallying 'round the flag" during a speech on the economy that the President gave in North Carolina. That is hilarious because that's exactly what Nightly News does. Almost every night, the producers use a ridiculous waving flag animation behind Brian or Lester. Whenever the producers go to a disaster area like Joplin or Tuscaloosa, the first thing they instruct their camera operators to do is shoot video of every flag they can find in the devastated area. The more tattered, the better. On Memorial Day weekend, Nightly News used DOZENS of shots of waving flags each night. But here's the funniest part: Immediately after the story in which Chuck Todd accused the President of "rallying 'round the flag", Nightly News did a story about the newly-released Gabby Giffords photos. And those photos were superimposed over a waving flag background! It's appalling that Chuck Todd--or anyone at Nightly News--could have the audacity to accuse someone else of "rallying 'round the flag"! Brian and his producers have cornered the flag-rallying market in order to pander to the viewers by appealing to their rah-rah gung-ho chest-thumping faux patriotism. When the President does this, it can be inspiring. When Nightly News does this, it's tawdry and crass.
By the way, the concept of why Gabby Giffords' family released those new photos was apparently completely lost on Brian and his producers. Her family released the new photos in order to discourage the Newsarazzi at NBC and the other networks from relentlessly stalking the poor woman night and day. So these new pictures weren't a reward for the press--they were the family's way of saying "leave us the hell alone you blood-sucking leeches" to all the news organizations out there. Obviously, the implication of the family's gesture went right over Brian's head.
Also on Monday's broadcast, Brian devoted a whopping 22 seconds to the historic rebellion going on in Syria. Then he spent thirty seconds narrating a story about a 90-year-old man who finally got his high school diploma (because he was a Medal of Honor winner), thirty-five seconds on the death of Hollywood producer Laura Ziskin (because she was a friend of Brian's) and forty-five seconds at the end of the broadcast promoting the Stanley Cup Finals (because they are carried on NBC) and his upcoming interview with Bono and the Edge (because they're Brian's pals). Obviously, all these stories are much more important than the events in Syria. And that doesn't even include the 2:20 "news story" on LeBron James. Good thing they didn't leave that one out of the broadcast.
Tuesday 6/14--The lead story this night was on sunscreen. Really. I'm not kidding. Then Brian spent 35 seconds explaining that the Army is no longer using berets as hats and 25 seconds showing us footage of a catamaran capsizing. Are you watching, Peabody Evaluation Committee? And then he ended the broadcast with a five-and-a-half minute bloated mega-interview with Bono and the Edge. Now, this story had three purposes. First and foremost, it was meant to show all of us little people what cool and famous friends Brian hangs around with. Second, it was intended to promote the Spider-Man musical (which was opening that night) as a favor to Brian's pals from U2. And third, the story was meant to continue Nightly News's transformation into Access Hollywood. The Spider-Man story did not have a shred of news value. It was a pure entertainment story. So I'm just wondering: What's the dollar value of five-and-a-half minutes of prime time network advertising? I'm sure all the Spider-Man producers appreciated Brian's little gift.
By the way, Tuesday's stories about the Republican Presidential debate (2:40) and Pres. Obama's visit to Puerto Rico (2:38) COMBINED took up less time than Brian's interview with Bono and the Edge. It must be great to have your own news broadcast so you can air whatever stories you want for whatever length you choose.
Wednesday 6/15--This night, NBC viewers got a special treat. We got to see an unbelievably pointless and overlong story about Col. Jack Jacobs returning to Vietnam where he fought forty-three years ago. I'm glad that Jacobs got to go back to Vietnam if it was important to him. But why Brian thinks it's of any interest to anyone else is beyond me. I cannot think of a single reason for putting this tedious story on a news broadcast, other than because of Brian's hero-worship for his "pal" Jack Jacobs. I guess Brian likes Jacobs even more than Bono, because at a mind-numbing 5:40, the Jacobs story was even longer than the Spider-Man story. The final 1:20 of this story consisted of Brian sitting in the studio heaping praise on Jacobs, who looked more than a bit uncomfortable with that level of fawning adulation. But without a doubt, the most bizarre part of the story was watching Brian obsessively fondling Jacobs' Medal of Honor. That was just creepy.
Later in the broadcast, we got another 1:20 "news story" on Spider-Man (bringing the total to a whopping 6:45 of free advertising for the musical), and a 2:10 story on chocolate milk. Bravo. What's the breaking news story for next week? Cookies?
Thursday 6/16--Viewers were shown a three-minute story about the riots following the Stanley Cup Hockey Final in Vancouver. Obviously, this was not an important news story--it was peripheral at best and deserved maybe thirty seconds. It was really just an opportunity for Nightly News to reinforce and promote the NBC brands of Stanley Cup Hockey and the Olympics (both of which were featured prominently in the story).
After an obituary for the man who was responsible for implementing the UPC bar code (which did not belong on a network newscast) and a story on Prince Harry (is there any minute, irrelevant detail of the Royal Family that Nightly News will not report?), it was time for part two of Wednesday's Jack Jacobs story. You didn't really believe that this story could be told in a mere 5:40, did you? In this installment (an additionally massive 3:40), Col. Jack meets with a Vietnamese general who was his battlefield enemy forty-three years ago. Funny thing--at no time during this story did anyone mention that the North Vietnamese General was defending his country against an invading American army that was trying to wipe out the indigenous North Vietnamese people in a war that was none of our business. Oh well--small point. Never mind. Of course, this whole two-part monstrosity--all 9:20 of it--was just another way for Brian to satisfy his rabid obsession with the U.S. Military and Medal of Honor winners. Since Brian sits on the MOH Foundation Board of Directors, this was yet another opportunity for Brian to try to do some aggressive fundraising for his organization. What a huge conflict of interest--allowing an anchor to promote an organization on whose board he sits. It would be like allowing a member of congress to chair a committee on telecommunications while also owning a few TV stations back in his or her home district. It's unethical and corrupt. But Brian doesn't care. Why should he? He can do whatever he wants.
Friday 6/17--A story purportedly about a pro-Khaddafy rally in Tripoli quickly turns into a story about what happened to NBC correspondent Stephanie Gosk. When did news start becoming about the reporters, rather than the actual news subjects? It sounds like a couple of bored Libyan onlookers began taunting Gosk and her crew. Big deal. Hardly a reason to freak out and go to Defcon One. But at Nightly News, the number one priority is reporting on themselves. They think they're the most interesting part of the story. Here's some of the drivel that Brian fed to Gosk: "We around here know you as someone who doesn't scare easily--you're no stranger to tight spots and shots fired and incoming rockets and bombings and all of that...." I think that's the same thing Brian said to Jack Jacobs on Thursday.
Here's a good laugh. Nightly News did a story about the Casey Anthony trial. Sort of. It was really more about the people who obsessively follow the trial than it was about the trial itself. Brian introduced the story by saying, "We haven't really covered this story much on this broadcast, but a bunch of other folks have...." Oh, smack! Brian is actually dissing other networks for covering this trial. This is the same Brian Williams who donated 6:45 of his broadcast to promote the Spider-Man musical and now he's berating other networks for covering news. Wow. Nightly News will give air time to anything they think will increase their ratings, but somehow it's beneath Brian and his producers to cover the Casey Anthony trial. So if Nightly News hasn't spent much time covering this trial, why begin now? The answer is pretty clear. At the end of the story, Brian read a promo for Friday's "Dateline" which just happens to be doing their show on...the Casey Anthony trial. So this whole "news story" was just a 2:15 promotional commercial for "Dateline". That makes sense.
Friday's final story was the piece de resistance. It was the weekly recap of stories that (according to Brian) either didn't make it onto the air during the week or needed some more time. What a joke. Did it ever occur to Brian that maybe if he wasn't wasting 9:20 following Jack Jacobs around Vietnam or 6:45 promoting Spider-Man, then maybe he would have enough time during the week to cover all the important news stories? But then again, "important news stories" and "Nightly News" are oxymorons. First of all, the purpose of this recap story is simply to promote the Nightly News iPad app. Half of these stories were presented as if they were on an iPad (and one was as if it was on an iPhone). As usual, it's all for promotional purposes. Just like with everything else at Nightly News. The entire broadcast is a promotion for something or other. So here are some of the "important" stories that Brian felt deserved news time (or more news time): A couple were photographed kissing amid the Vancouver riot; gay rights activists pelt Newt Gingrich and Tim Pawlenty with glitter; Jon Huntsman enters the presidential race (didn't this deserve a bit more coverage?); Khaddafy plays chess; 50's Singer Carl Gardner died (Brian didn't even feel the need to mention that Gardner was the lead singer of the Coasters); an obit for a producer who had worked with Carol Burnett and Dinah Shore; a female general takes command of Parris Island; a YouTube video made by two twentysomethings in an empty airport; a gopher on a golf course; a little kid watching a lion in a zoo and a kitten with a dolphin. And all this drivel took up a whopping 4:15. Just so Brian and his producers could promote their iPad app. But it also gave the Nightly News producers a chance to show some neat movie clips ("Meet the Parents", "Caddyshack", "The Lion King") in addition to the TV clips of "Star Search", Carol Burnett and Barbra Streisand. To everyone at Nightly News--all I can say is well done.
Yes, it was quite a week at Nightly News. I can hardly wait to see what they have in store for us this weekend. Oh--wait a minute. I forgot. There is no Nightly News this weekend. They're showing golf instead. Because golf is obviously a lot more important than news.
Sunday 6/12--The lead story on Anthony Weiner was reported by Luke Russert. That's pretty funny because Russert does not have even the tiniest bit of ability as an investigator or reporter. Obviously, he got his job because Brian Williams created it and handed it to him on a silver platter. How absurd is it for NBC to give a prized on-air job to a 23-year-old kid with no broadcast journalism experience? Most people toil for years in obscurity before getting on the air. Not Luke Russert. He gets fast-tracked. What are the chances that Russert would have gotten that job if his name was Luke Smith or Luke Jones? For those "Sopranos" fans out there, Luke Russert is Christopher Moltisanti. Tony Soprano took Christopher (a screw-up if ever there was one) under his wing after Chris's father died--just like Brian did with Luke Russert. I just hope Russert has a better outcome than Moltisanti did. (I guess that also means that Andrea Mitchell is Carmella, Robert Bazell is Pauly Walnuts, Nancy Snyderman is Janice and George Lewis is Uncle Junior.)
There was no Nightly News on Saturday because obviously horse racing was much more important. So Sunday's broadcast was the first Nightly News to air in 48 hours. And what did they choose to run a 2:10 story on? Will and Kate. The entirety of this piece was devoted to describing in detail what Kate wore to various functions: "She recycled the hat she wore for her Royal duties earlier in the day--and a dress last seen on commoner Kate in 2007." Breaking news if ever there was. That's what the Nightly News producers want us to know about the important news of the day. What Kate wore. And the previous Friday's broadcast also featured a 2:05 story on the Royal Family because that's obviously much more important than real news. Pitiful.
Monday 6/13--I burst out laughing when I heard Chuck Todd accuse Pres. Obama of "rallying 'round the flag" during a speech on the economy that the President gave in North Carolina. That is hilarious because that's exactly what Nightly News does. Almost every night, the producers use a ridiculous waving flag animation behind Brian or Lester. Whenever the producers go to a disaster area like Joplin or Tuscaloosa, the first thing they instruct their camera operators to do is shoot video of every flag they can find in the devastated area. The more tattered, the better. On Memorial Day weekend, Nightly News used DOZENS of shots of waving flags each night. But here's the funniest part: Immediately after the story in which Chuck Todd accused the President of "rallying 'round the flag", Nightly News did a story about the newly-released Gabby Giffords photos. And those photos were superimposed over a waving flag background! It's appalling that Chuck Todd--or anyone at Nightly News--could have the audacity to accuse someone else of "rallying 'round the flag"! Brian and his producers have cornered the flag-rallying market in order to pander to the viewers by appealing to their rah-rah gung-ho chest-thumping faux patriotism. When the President does this, it can be inspiring. When Nightly News does this, it's tawdry and crass.
By the way, the concept of why Gabby Giffords' family released those new photos was apparently completely lost on Brian and his producers. Her family released the new photos in order to discourage the Newsarazzi at NBC and the other networks from relentlessly stalking the poor woman night and day. So these new pictures weren't a reward for the press--they were the family's way of saying "leave us the hell alone you blood-sucking leeches" to all the news organizations out there. Obviously, the implication of the family's gesture went right over Brian's head.
Also on Monday's broadcast, Brian devoted a whopping 22 seconds to the historic rebellion going on in Syria. Then he spent thirty seconds narrating a story about a 90-year-old man who finally got his high school diploma (because he was a Medal of Honor winner), thirty-five seconds on the death of Hollywood producer Laura Ziskin (because she was a friend of Brian's) and forty-five seconds at the end of the broadcast promoting the Stanley Cup Finals (because they are carried on NBC) and his upcoming interview with Bono and the Edge (because they're Brian's pals). Obviously, all these stories are much more important than the events in Syria. And that doesn't even include the 2:20 "news story" on LeBron James. Good thing they didn't leave that one out of the broadcast.
Tuesday 6/14--The lead story this night was on sunscreen. Really. I'm not kidding. Then Brian spent 35 seconds explaining that the Army is no longer using berets as hats and 25 seconds showing us footage of a catamaran capsizing. Are you watching, Peabody Evaluation Committee? And then he ended the broadcast with a five-and-a-half minute bloated mega-interview with Bono and the Edge. Now, this story had three purposes. First and foremost, it was meant to show all of us little people what cool and famous friends Brian hangs around with. Second, it was intended to promote the Spider-Man musical (which was opening that night) as a favor to Brian's pals from U2. And third, the story was meant to continue Nightly News's transformation into Access Hollywood. The Spider-Man story did not have a shred of news value. It was a pure entertainment story. So I'm just wondering: What's the dollar value of five-and-a-half minutes of prime time network advertising? I'm sure all the Spider-Man producers appreciated Brian's little gift.
By the way, Tuesday's stories about the Republican Presidential debate (2:40) and Pres. Obama's visit to Puerto Rico (2:38) COMBINED took up less time than Brian's interview with Bono and the Edge. It must be great to have your own news broadcast so you can air whatever stories you want for whatever length you choose.
Wednesday 6/15--This night, NBC viewers got a special treat. We got to see an unbelievably pointless and overlong story about Col. Jack Jacobs returning to Vietnam where he fought forty-three years ago. I'm glad that Jacobs got to go back to Vietnam if it was important to him. But why Brian thinks it's of any interest to anyone else is beyond me. I cannot think of a single reason for putting this tedious story on a news broadcast, other than because of Brian's hero-worship for his "pal" Jack Jacobs. I guess Brian likes Jacobs even more than Bono, because at a mind-numbing 5:40, the Jacobs story was even longer than the Spider-Man story. The final 1:20 of this story consisted of Brian sitting in the studio heaping praise on Jacobs, who looked more than a bit uncomfortable with that level of fawning adulation. But without a doubt, the most bizarre part of the story was watching Brian obsessively fondling Jacobs' Medal of Honor. That was just creepy.
Later in the broadcast, we got another 1:20 "news story" on Spider-Man (bringing the total to a whopping 6:45 of free advertising for the musical), and a 2:10 story on chocolate milk. Bravo. What's the breaking news story for next week? Cookies?
Thursday 6/16--Viewers were shown a three-minute story about the riots following the Stanley Cup Hockey Final in Vancouver. Obviously, this was not an important news story--it was peripheral at best and deserved maybe thirty seconds. It was really just an opportunity for Nightly News to reinforce and promote the NBC brands of Stanley Cup Hockey and the Olympics (both of which were featured prominently in the story).
After an obituary for the man who was responsible for implementing the UPC bar code (which did not belong on a network newscast) and a story on Prince Harry (is there any minute, irrelevant detail of the Royal Family that Nightly News will not report?), it was time for part two of Wednesday's Jack Jacobs story. You didn't really believe that this story could be told in a mere 5:40, did you? In this installment (an additionally massive 3:40), Col. Jack meets with a Vietnamese general who was his battlefield enemy forty-three years ago. Funny thing--at no time during this story did anyone mention that the North Vietnamese General was defending his country against an invading American army that was trying to wipe out the indigenous North Vietnamese people in a war that was none of our business. Oh well--small point. Never mind. Of course, this whole two-part monstrosity--all 9:20 of it--was just another way for Brian to satisfy his rabid obsession with the U.S. Military and Medal of Honor winners. Since Brian sits on the MOH Foundation Board of Directors, this was yet another opportunity for Brian to try to do some aggressive fundraising for his organization. What a huge conflict of interest--allowing an anchor to promote an organization on whose board he sits. It would be like allowing a member of congress to chair a committee on telecommunications while also owning a few TV stations back in his or her home district. It's unethical and corrupt. But Brian doesn't care. Why should he? He can do whatever he wants.
Friday 6/17--A story purportedly about a pro-Khaddafy rally in Tripoli quickly turns into a story about what happened to NBC correspondent Stephanie Gosk. When did news start becoming about the reporters, rather than the actual news subjects? It sounds like a couple of bored Libyan onlookers began taunting Gosk and her crew. Big deal. Hardly a reason to freak out and go to Defcon One. But at Nightly News, the number one priority is reporting on themselves. They think they're the most interesting part of the story. Here's some of the drivel that Brian fed to Gosk: "We around here know you as someone who doesn't scare easily--you're no stranger to tight spots and shots fired and incoming rockets and bombings and all of that...." I think that's the same thing Brian said to Jack Jacobs on Thursday.
Here's a good laugh. Nightly News did a story about the Casey Anthony trial. Sort of. It was really more about the people who obsessively follow the trial than it was about the trial itself. Brian introduced the story by saying, "We haven't really covered this story much on this broadcast, but a bunch of other folks have...." Oh, smack! Brian is actually dissing other networks for covering this trial. This is the same Brian Williams who donated 6:45 of his broadcast to promote the Spider-Man musical and now he's berating other networks for covering news. Wow. Nightly News will give air time to anything they think will increase their ratings, but somehow it's beneath Brian and his producers to cover the Casey Anthony trial. So if Nightly News hasn't spent much time covering this trial, why begin now? The answer is pretty clear. At the end of the story, Brian read a promo for Friday's "Dateline" which just happens to be doing their show on...the Casey Anthony trial. So this whole "news story" was just a 2:15 promotional commercial for "Dateline". That makes sense.
Friday's final story was the piece de resistance. It was the weekly recap of stories that (according to Brian) either didn't make it onto the air during the week or needed some more time. What a joke. Did it ever occur to Brian that maybe if he wasn't wasting 9:20 following Jack Jacobs around Vietnam or 6:45 promoting Spider-Man, then maybe he would have enough time during the week to cover all the important news stories? But then again, "important news stories" and "Nightly News" are oxymorons. First of all, the purpose of this recap story is simply to promote the Nightly News iPad app. Half of these stories were presented as if they were on an iPad (and one was as if it was on an iPhone). As usual, it's all for promotional purposes. Just like with everything else at Nightly News. The entire broadcast is a promotion for something or other. So here are some of the "important" stories that Brian felt deserved news time (or more news time): A couple were photographed kissing amid the Vancouver riot; gay rights activists pelt Newt Gingrich and Tim Pawlenty with glitter; Jon Huntsman enters the presidential race (didn't this deserve a bit more coverage?); Khaddafy plays chess; 50's Singer Carl Gardner died (Brian didn't even feel the need to mention that Gardner was the lead singer of the Coasters); an obit for a producer who had worked with Carol Burnett and Dinah Shore; a female general takes command of Parris Island; a YouTube video made by two twentysomethings in an empty airport; a gopher on a golf course; a little kid watching a lion in a zoo and a kitten with a dolphin. And all this drivel took up a whopping 4:15. Just so Brian and his producers could promote their iPad app. But it also gave the Nightly News producers a chance to show some neat movie clips ("Meet the Parents", "Caddyshack", "The Lion King") in addition to the TV clips of "Star Search", Carol Burnett and Barbra Streisand. To everyone at Nightly News--all I can say is well done.
Yes, it was quite a week at Nightly News. I can hardly wait to see what they have in store for us this weekend. Oh--wait a minute. I forgot. There is no Nightly News this weekend. They're showing golf instead. Because golf is obviously a lot more important than news.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Brian Williams Is MIA
Where in the world has Brian Williams been this week? After anchoring Nightly News on Monday, we haven't seen hide nor hair of him. What happened to him? It certainly seems odd that he anchored the broadcast for one night and then disappeared. Brian is on what can best be described as a "voluntary ratings leave". When Brian and NBC News President Steve Capus saw Scott Pelley's ratings for Monday (his first night anchoring the CBS Evening News) they got scared and immediately implemented Plan B. Under that plan, Brian takes a powder and lets Lester Holt anchor for the rest of the week. That way, if CBS gains on NBC in the ratings (or beats them outright), Brian and Capus can claim that the CBS victory is meaningless because it came against a substitute anchor, not against Brian. Furthermore, we can assume that Brian and Capus submitted their Tuesday through Friday broadcasts to the Nielsen ratings service intentionally misspelled as "Nitely News". That's a common tactic they use whenever they expect Nightly News to have lower-than-desired ratings. Nielsen counts the "Nitely News" broadcasts in a separate category from Nightly News, so the lower-rated broadcasts don't detract from the higher-rated (correctly spelled) broadcasts. It's just a way of manipulating the ratings and deceiving Nielsen, the viewers and the advertisers so NBC can charge higher ad rates based on artificially inflated ratings even when the actual ratings decline. That's what our friend Brian Williams has been up to. That's how things work at NBC News. It's all about the ratings. Always.
But don't worry, Brian will be back on Monday. After all, he can't hide from Scott Pelley forever.
But don't worry, Brian will be back on Monday. After all, he can't hide from Scott Pelley forever.
Nightly News Spells Juneau!
Congratulations to the Nightly News producers! On Friday's broadcast, an on-screen graphic informed us that Michael Isikoff was reporting live from "Juneau, AK". That's amazing! During a story last Dec. 25 about using satellites to track air traffic, the Nightly News producers spelled Juneau as "Juno". You know, like in the Ellen Page movie. And last April 26 (as well as on 4/23/10), the producers abbreviated Arkansas as "AK", which is actually the abbreviation for Alaska. But now, they managed to properly spell Juneau AND correctly use AK as a state abbreviation. In the same story! The Nightly News producers are really making progress. Pretty soon, they may even figure out how to spell Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Toledo and Plaquemines Parish, not to mention the country of Colombia (all of which they previously misspelled). Keep up the great work, guys!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The Incredibly Stupid Nightly News Producers
How incredibly stupid are the Nightly News producers? Wednesday's "Making A Difference" segment was about New Orleans chef Greg Reggio, who threw a big party for the tornado-stricken people of Joplin. In the story, a Nightly News caption identified Reggio as a "Chef and Restauranteur [sic]". When I saw that, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. There is no "n" in "restaurateur". It's like the Nightly News producers have never used a dictionary. Not a paper dictionary, not an on-line dictionary. It's like they don't even know how to use Google. These kinds of mistakes happen over and over and over on Nightly News. And they just don't care. So if they can't get the small things right, how on earth are we supposed to trust them with the big things?
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Brian Williams Mocks Himself
I laughed so hard that I almost fell off my couch Friday when I heard Brian Williams talking derisively about Mitt Romney's new look of "studied casualness". Brian accused Romney of buying "new jeans and a fleet of I'm-just-a-regular-guy shirts...," as part of a new and intentional image makeover. OMG! Has Brian ever seen his own broadcasts? Every time he's on location--whether it's in Cairo, Egypt or Cairo, Illinois--HE wears the exact same type of I'm-just-a-regular-guy shirt that he criticized Romney for wearing! (Brian is partial to blue and beige.) Talk about "studied casualness"! Where does Brian get the nerve to criticize Romney for image management? There is no one on the planet whose image is more studied, managed, controlled and manipulated than Brian Williams. Every aspect of his on-air persona is carefully honed and crafted to bring us the character of "Brian Williams" that we are familiar with. Brian has ten image managers for every one Romney has. Hair stylists. Makeup artists. Wardrobe consultants. Personal assistants. I'll bet Brian employs a full-time person just to act as his tie wrangler. And then there are the behavioral consultants and analysts. They pore over every second of every Nightly News broadcast. What if Brian sat three inches to the right? What if he moved his left arm up a bit? What if he lifted his head up higher? They search for any tiny change that can even minutely improve Brian's ratings. They conduct continuous focus groups to find out what viewers think of every aspect of Brian and his broadcast. Do you like his hair? Do you like his tie? Do you like his shirt? Brian doesn't dare wear a stitch of clothing on the air unless it has first been approved by a focus group. If a focus group indicated that they didn't like one of his ties, it would be taken out back and burned post haste. But the analysis doesn't stop there. There's also micro-analysis. Focus group participants are hooked up to medical monitors while watching Nightly News. Their heart rate is monitored. Their breathing is monitored. Their pupil dilation is monitored. Their eye movement is monitored. All on a second-by-second basis. If people look away from Brian at a certain point, the analysts need to find out why. Was it his tone of voice? The particular news story he was reading? The camera angle? The people in the newsroom behind him? And with all this going on, Brian has the nerve to criticize Mitt Romney for buying a few new shirts. Politics is largely about image. News broadcasting is ALL about image. Brian has taken one of his own most disingenuous traits and used it to mock Romney. That is hilarious! It would be like Donald Trump making fun of someone else's hair.
The Romney piece was part of a larger Nightly News segment whose purported purpose was to more closely examine some of the week's news stories. But the actual purpose, as it also was last Friday, is to shamelessly promote the new Nightly News iPad app. Brian even began the segment by saying, "A few days back when we launched our new iPad app...." And half the stories in this segment were presented as if they were streaming on an iPad. This is beyond shameless. Instead of reporting actual news, Brian wasted nearly four minutes of the viewers' time with this iPad promo that contained previously-aired or irrelevant stories. Here are some of the items that were included in this piece: More footage of the oh-so-important Palin-Trump pizza summit; people struggling to open plastic packaging; a clip of the new Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman singing Sinatra and some YouTube video of Bunk the dog playing with balloons on his birthday. This is what passes for news on Nightly News. But of course, it was all just a way to promote the iPad app. Great job, guys.
By the way, before the Nightly News producers began promoting the iPad app, maybe they should have first learned how to use a simple dictionary. During Friday's story about the economy, a Nightly News caption informed us that Pres. Obama was in "Toldeo" Ohio. Toldeo? Is that anywhere near Toledo? It's laughable that the producers can operate an iPad but they can't figure out how to look up a word in their Funk & Wagnalls. On Wednesday's broadcast, an on-screen graphic identified Alameda (California) Fire Chief Michael D'Orazi as "Michal". This happens over and over on Nightly News. Because the producers just don't care. Except about promoting their iPad app. That, they care about.
On Friday, CBS News offered their version of the college commencement recap story. Some of the speakers they showed were the same as on Tuesday's Nightly News commencement story--Pres. Obama, Tom Hanks, John Boehner. But CBS outclassed NBC by also including excerpts from Bill Clinton, Chesley Sullenberger and Sonia Sotomayor. And CBS did not abase themselves by using this story to shamelessly promote any of their entertainment shows (as Nightly News did by including a speech from the esteemed and distinguished Amy Poehler). But most importantly, the CBS story clocked in at a compact 2:35, more than two minutes shorter then Nightly News's overlong monstrosity. Well done, CBS.
The Romney piece was part of a larger Nightly News segment whose purported purpose was to more closely examine some of the week's news stories. But the actual purpose, as it also was last Friday, is to shamelessly promote the new Nightly News iPad app. Brian even began the segment by saying, "A few days back when we launched our new iPad app...." And half the stories in this segment were presented as if they were streaming on an iPad. This is beyond shameless. Instead of reporting actual news, Brian wasted nearly four minutes of the viewers' time with this iPad promo that contained previously-aired or irrelevant stories. Here are some of the items that were included in this piece: More footage of the oh-so-important Palin-Trump pizza summit; people struggling to open plastic packaging; a clip of the new Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman singing Sinatra and some YouTube video of Bunk the dog playing with balloons on his birthday. This is what passes for news on Nightly News. But of course, it was all just a way to promote the iPad app. Great job, guys.
By the way, before the Nightly News producers began promoting the iPad app, maybe they should have first learned how to use a simple dictionary. During Friday's story about the economy, a Nightly News caption informed us that Pres. Obama was in "Toldeo" Ohio. Toldeo? Is that anywhere near Toledo? It's laughable that the producers can operate an iPad but they can't figure out how to look up a word in their Funk & Wagnalls. On Wednesday's broadcast, an on-screen graphic identified Alameda (California) Fire Chief Michael D'Orazi as "Michal". This happens over and over on Nightly News. Because the producers just don't care. Except about promoting their iPad app. That, they care about.
On Friday, CBS News offered their version of the college commencement recap story. Some of the speakers they showed were the same as on Tuesday's Nightly News commencement story--Pres. Obama, Tom Hanks, John Boehner. But CBS outclassed NBC by also including excerpts from Bill Clinton, Chesley Sullenberger and Sonia Sotomayor. And CBS did not abase themselves by using this story to shamelessly promote any of their entertainment shows (as Nightly News did by including a speech from the esteemed and distinguished Amy Poehler). But most importantly, the CBS story clocked in at a compact 2:35, more than two minutes shorter then Nightly News's overlong monstrosity. Well done, CBS.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Obama. Hanks. Morrison. Williams?
On Tuesday, Nightly News spent an unbelievable 4:45 showing this year's installment of college commencement speeches. Nightly News did not do any stories that night about Ratko Mladic or the FIFA scandal--in fact, they did not do a single story from outside the U.S.--but the college grads and commencement speakers got nearly five minutes of network news time. What an incredible waste of time. Of course, that night Brian did manage to squeeze in yet another story on "The Hangover Part II" (the fourth "Hangover" story Nightly News has done in the past two weeks). It's nice to see that Brian has his priorities straight.
Here's a quiz: Which of these people does not belong with the others? Barack Obama. Tom Hanks. Toni Morrison. Kofi Annan. John Boehner. Thomas Friedman. Brian Williams. Hint: One is the President of the United States. One is a two-time Academy Award winner. One is a Nobel and Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist. One was the Secretary-General of the United Nations. One is the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. One is a three-time Pulitzer Prize winner and noted New York Times columnist. One spends less than two hours a week reading the evening news off a teleprompter. If you guessed that Brian Williams doesn't belong in this group, congratulations. You win. (If you watched this five-minute commencement boondoggle, congratulations--you lose.) For the second year in a row, Brian has instructed the producers to include him among the dignitaries whose speeches were excerpted on Nightly News. Can you believe the hubris? The gall? The nerve? Isn't there anyone at Nightly News, NBC or Comcast who is willing to tell Brian that he just doesn't belong in this group? It's so outrageous that it's actually comical. It's like Donald Trump announcing that although he's not running for president, he would certainly win if he did run. And by the way, I love how the Nightly News producers slipped Amy Poehler (from "Parks and Recreation") in there. Last year it was Alec Baldwin (from "30 Rock"). At Nightly News, they never, never, ever miss a chance to shamelessly plug an NBC entertainment show.
So the next time Brian complains that he doesn't have enough time to show all the week's important news stories (as he did on Friday), I hope someone will remind him about this commencement story that was a colossal waste of the viewers' time. Nightly news could have run three real news stories in the time it took to air this endless monstrosity. Oh well. At least we got to see Brian dressed up in his little cap and gown. It was almost as amusing as when he dressed up in his flak-jacket-and-helmet soldier outfit.
Here's a quiz: Which of these people does not belong with the others? Barack Obama. Tom Hanks. Toni Morrison. Kofi Annan. John Boehner. Thomas Friedman. Brian Williams. Hint: One is the President of the United States. One is a two-time Academy Award winner. One is a Nobel and Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist. One was the Secretary-General of the United Nations. One is the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. One is a three-time Pulitzer Prize winner and noted New York Times columnist. One spends less than two hours a week reading the evening news off a teleprompter. If you guessed that Brian Williams doesn't belong in this group, congratulations. You win. (If you watched this five-minute commencement boondoggle, congratulations--you lose.) For the second year in a row, Brian has instructed the producers to include him among the dignitaries whose speeches were excerpted on Nightly News. Can you believe the hubris? The gall? The nerve? Isn't there anyone at Nightly News, NBC or Comcast who is willing to tell Brian that he just doesn't belong in this group? It's so outrageous that it's actually comical. It's like Donald Trump announcing that although he's not running for president, he would certainly win if he did run. And by the way, I love how the Nightly News producers slipped Amy Poehler (from "Parks and Recreation") in there. Last year it was Alec Baldwin (from "30 Rock"). At Nightly News, they never, never, ever miss a chance to shamelessly plug an NBC entertainment show.
So the next time Brian complains that he doesn't have enough time to show all the week's important news stories (as he did on Friday), I hope someone will remind him about this commencement story that was a colossal waste of the viewers' time. Nightly news could have run three real news stories in the time it took to air this endless monstrosity. Oh well. At least we got to see Brian dressed up in his little cap and gown. It was almost as amusing as when he dressed up in his flak-jacket-and-helmet soldier outfit.
The Idiots At ESPN2 And YES
Who are the idiot producers responsible for ESPN2's coverage of the French Open tennis tournament? That's not a rhetorical question--I'd really like to know who these idiots are. On Tuesday, I was watching a quarterfinal match between Marion Bartoli and Svetlana Kuznetsova. With the score tied at 4-4 in the first set tiebreaker, the ESPN2 morons went to a split screen so they could also show the Federer-Monfils match. Now, "split screen" is something of a misnomer. Each of these two matches was being shown in a small box that was about 1/6 the size of the screen. So I couldn't really see what was happening in either of these micro-matches. The Bartoli-Kuznetsova tiebreaker ended with the picture still in a split screen--they did not return to a full screen shot of this match until Bartoli was leading 5-2 in the second set. And for the remainder of the second set, they continued to alternate between the split screen and the full screen. I suspect that the ESPN2 producers responsible for this decision have never watched a tennis match before. A tiebreaker is one of the most exciting moments in sports, even more so in a grand slam quarterfinal match. The idiot producers were treating this as if it was an opening round match between unseeded players. Whichever producer suggested going to a split screen for the quarterfinals should have been laughed out of the room. Whichever producer implemented the suggestion should be fired. I've never worked in television, but it's not exactly rocket science. The solution here seems obvious. Show one match live, and show the other match on tape. Now, I know they don't like to do this because thanks to the internet, fans could learn the winner of the tape-delayed match before it airs, and that would decrease the viewing audience. Tough. The producers' responsibility is to present quality tennis, and the horrific split screen makes an exciting tennis match appear as if it is being viewed on an iPod. If they wanted to, they could easily inform viewers that one of the matches will be tape-delayed and warn us that if we don't want to know the results then we should avoid logging on to any sports-related sites. Obviously, I'm no fan of NBC, but it's a good thing that they, and not ESPN2, are broadcasting the men's and women's French Open finals. I can only imagine how ESPN2 would butcher these matches. They would probably show the finals in a split screen so we could also enjoy the junior finals or the mixed seniors doubles finals at the same time.
And what's the deal with the idiots at YES, the network that broadcasts most Yankees games? On Wednesday, I set my DVR to record the encore presentation of that day's Yankees-A's game (the game was played live at 3:30 PM eastern time; the encore was scheduled to start at 7:30). But when the recording began, it was already the top of the second inning with two men out and Oakland leading 2-1. Obviously, the geniuses at YES decided to start the encore a half-hour early. Are they morons? Did they ever consider that people would be tuning in at the 7:30 scheduled time to watch? Or that people might be recording the encore game to view later? Time Warner Cable listed the encore game for 7:30 because that's when the YES people told them it would be starting. If the YES programming executives want to start showings of encore games earlier, they need to give the viewers some lead time. Otherwise, they need to start the games at the listed time. But it's pretty clear why they did this. If they start the encore showing a half-hour earlier, then later they get to show an extra half-hour of weight-loss, hair regrowth or bra infomercials (before seeing these infomercials, I never fully grasped the horror of wearing the wrong-sized bra). Money is obviously more important than fans to the YES network. It's nice to know they think so little of us.
And what's the deal with the idiots at YES, the network that broadcasts most Yankees games? On Wednesday, I set my DVR to record the encore presentation of that day's Yankees-A's game (the game was played live at 3:30 PM eastern time; the encore was scheduled to start at 7:30). But when the recording began, it was already the top of the second inning with two men out and Oakland leading 2-1. Obviously, the geniuses at YES decided to start the encore a half-hour early. Are they morons? Did they ever consider that people would be tuning in at the 7:30 scheduled time to watch? Or that people might be recording the encore game to view later? Time Warner Cable listed the encore game for 7:30 because that's when the YES people told them it would be starting. If the YES programming executives want to start showings of encore games earlier, they need to give the viewers some lead time. Otherwise, they need to start the games at the listed time. But it's pretty clear why they did this. If they start the encore showing a half-hour earlier, then later they get to show an extra half-hour of weight-loss, hair regrowth or bra infomercials (before seeing these infomercials, I never fully grasped the horror of wearing the wrong-sized bra). Money is obviously more important than fans to the YES network. It's nice to know they think so little of us.
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