The big story this week wasn't on NBC News, it was about NBC News. NewsBusters.org reported that NBC News selectively edited some of George Zimmerman's 911 tapes to make it appear that Zimmerman's shooting of Trayvon Martin was racially motivated. The tapes were edited to make it seem as if Zimmerman volunteered the information that Martin was black, when in fact he only gave that information after being asked by a 911 dispatcher. NBC News pretended to be shocked by this revelation, much in the same way that Capt. Renault professed to be shocked that gambling was going on in Rick's Cafe in the movie "Casablanca". Meanwhile, NBC News failed to take any decisive action. The total fallout from the story was the dismissal of a single NBC News producer, and neither Brian Williams nor any other Nightly News anchor ever mentioned this egregious display (much less apologized for it) on Nightly News. (Read the New York Times report on the story at http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/06/nbc-fires-producer-of-misleading-zimmerman-tape/.)
Here's all the other great stuff that happened on Nightly News this past week:
Sat. March 31--The lead story was the "mystery" over who the three winners were in the Mega Millions $640 million jackpot. This is what passes for news at Nightly News--and the lead story, no less. The story included a clip from the movie "Funny Farm", because the Nightly News producers are incapable of telling a story without movie or TV clips. This story was reported by the intrepid Kevin Tibbles, who has also recently reported important stories about Pringles snack chips and Barbie's 53rd anniversary.
***A story about the Trayvon Martin shooting included a clip of Al Sharpton, who was identified as the host of MSNBC's "PoliticsNation" because the main responsibility of the Nightly News producers is to promote other NBC-affiliated shows. Al Sharpton is a buffoon who has been regurgitating the same race-baiting screed for decades. No one takes him seriously or pays much attention to him--except NBC News because he has a show on their sister network.
***In a story about the GOP presidential race and the Wisconsin primary, a live shot of correspondent Ron Mott once again showed him with a U.S. flag over his left shoulder. It is standard operating procedure at Nightly News to show as many flags as possible each night because the producers try to position their broadcast as the most patriotic newscast ever to appear on the air. What they are really doing is just shamelessly pandering to the viewers' sense of flag-waving rah-rah gung-ho faux-patriotism. This story began with a double flag shot--a flag animation was waving behind Lester Holt at the same time we saw a clip of Mitt Romney speaking in front of a giant flag. And the story ended with 15 seconds of promos. First, we were shown a promo for "Meet the Press", then we were shown a hilarious promo for Sarah Palin's "exclusive" appearance as guest host on Tuesday's "Today Show". Obviously, this was just a desperate attempt to provide counter-programming against Katie Couric's upcoming stint as co-host of ABC's "Good Morning America" the following week. And calling Palin's appearance "exclusive" was laughable. She appears on Fox News every week, so a single appearance on "Today" hardly constitutes an "exclusive" appearance.
***In a story about the murder of Susan Powell, a law enforcement official was identified as "Miguel Almaguer". Almaguer was actually the Nightly News correspondent who reported the story. The law enforcement official was never properly identified. Another screw-up in the Nightly News graphics department. What a surprise. Not.
***Next, we got a 2:20 story about the "Extreme Weather", reported by the idiotic Anne Thompson. Thompson repeats the exact same story every few weeks (the last one was on March 14) without adding any new information. It's appalling that she is allowed to milk the same old climate change story over and over and over again. Appalling, but not surprising. This is, after all, Nightly News.
***After that, we saw a 2:20 story titled "The Homework Debate". Some kids may be getting too much homework. Wow--that's really newsworthy. Tell me more.
***The final story was about the town of Buford, Wyoming (population 1) that is up for sale. Somehow, this qualifies as news at NBC. These final two stories did not contain a shred of actual news, yet together they took up nearly five minutes of valuable news time. Business as usual at Nightly News.
Sun. April 1--Nightly news began 13 minutes late this night (on the east coast) because golf ran long. At NBC, there's really no question that sports is more important than news.
***A story about the Trayvon Martin shooting contained two clips of Al Sharpton, because apparently one clip is not sufficient to promote Sharpton's MSNBC show. Naturally, Sharpton was identified as the host of MSNBC's "PoliticsNation".
***In his live shot at the end of a story about Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum, Ron Mott was standing in front of a sign reading "Freedom". This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen on Nightly News (and that's saying a lot). We all know that Nightly News political correspondents are required to stand in front of U.S. flags during their live shots in order to pander to the audience (see above). But apparently there was no flag in the area this night, so the genius producers decided that a sign reading "Freedom" was the next best thing. Seriously. This was an actual executive decision they made. So what would they have done if there was no "Freedom" sign available? What was plan C? To position Mott in front of a "Liberty Mutual" sign or an "American Airlines" sign because they contain the key patriotic words the producers demand? I thought that all Nightly News producers were required to carry U.S. flags with them for just such an emergency. Some producer must have been slacking off. She probably got a reprimand.
***We saw another promo for Sarah Palin's "Today Show" appearance because promoting NBC's morning show is one of the Nightly News producers' main responsibilities.
***The final story of the night was about Hollywood's current remakes of 80's movies and TV shows. The story included clips from the original and remade versions of "Arthur" and "21 Jump Street", as well as clips from the 80's movies "National Lampoon's Vacation", "Back to the Future", "Hot Tub Time Machine" and a montage of Arnold Schwarzenegger films. There were also clips of Billy Crystal, Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone. Altogether, these clips took up more than half of this 2:15 "news story". Nightly News shows movie clips in their stories almost every night. And every few weeks they make a point of devoting an entire story to movies (on March 16 & 23, for example, they ran stories on "The Hunger Game"). They do this for two reasons. First, they bring high ratings. When viewers see movie clips on the news, it keeps them interested, and interested viewers don't change the channel. Movie clips are certainly a lot more entertaining than watching another car bombing or political speech. And entertainment is clearly the business that Nightly News is in. Viewers understand that Nightly News is the newscast that will show the most movie clips--lots more than ABC or CBS. Since Jan. 1, Nightly News has shown movie or TV clips on 41 different nights--that's about half their broadcasts (many of these broadcasts contained multiple clips or featured clips in more than one story). Another reason the producers show so many movie clips is to thank the movie studios for all their advertising dollars over the years. And for all we know, the Nightly News stories about movies are actually part of paid ad packages. Maybe the studios purchase packages that include a set number of commercials in addition to a news story about their film that airs on "Today" or Nightly News. I wouldn't be at all surprised. Of course, some of these movie and TV clips are inserted simply for self-promotional purposes. It's become standard operating procedure at Nightly News to pepper their news stories with clips from "Saturday Night Live", "30 Rock", "Ellen", "The Office", "Seinfeld", "Celebrity Apprentice", "Golden Girls", "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and other current and former NBC shows. And it goes without saying that Universal movies enjoy lots of free publicity on Nightly News (the "Hunger Games" soundtrack was released on a Universal label). To put it succinctly, the Nightly News producers are sleazy scumbags. They have no qualms about using movie or TV clips to boost their broadcast's ratings, to help their pals at the studios or to promote other NBC properties. And do the producers even realize the irony of this story? A newscast that shamelessly uses old movie and TV clips to boost its ratings did a story about how the movie studios are shamelessly remaking old movies and TV shows to gain a new audience. I'm guessing the producers failed to see the irony.
But the most appalling thing about this particular story was that the Nightly News producers stole it right from the front page of the March 30 New York Times. The Times story, called "In Hollywood, an 80's Moment", was about the current remakes of 80's TV shows and movies. The story included references to "21 Jump Street", "National Lampoon's Vacation", "Hot Tub Time Machine" and "Arthur" as well as previous and forthcoming movies starring Billy Crystal, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone--the same films and actors featured in the Nightly News story. In fact, all of the Nightly News source material came right out of the Times story--without any attribution or acknowledgement. There's a word for that--plagiarism. There are other words, too, like sleazy and shameless.
And finally--let's not forget that because of golf, this Nightly News broadcast was only about half the length of a regular broadcast. So with all the news going on across the country and around the world, the producers thought it would be a good idea for a severely shortened broadcast to devote 2:15 to a story about movies? Was this their idea of an April Fool's joke?
Mon. April 2--During the lead story about the deadly shooting at Oakland's Oikos University, one of the witnesses that was interviewed was wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the phrase "Death For Dessert" (the word "Death" was in huge letters). That's not exactly what I would call a display of sensitivity on the part of the Nightly News producers.
***A story about women's rights featured a clip of Bill Clinton being interviewed by Luke Russert. That was pretty funny considering that both Luke Russert and Chelsea Clinton were handed gift-wrapped, lucrative on-air jobs at NBC News simply because their fathers were/are (respectively) Tim Russert and Bill Clinton. I hope that every single day, Luke and Chelsea thank their patrons Brian Williams and NBC News president Steve Capus for giving them jobs that actual journalists (without famous fathers) often spend 20 years trying to get.
***After that, Brian read yet another promo for Sarah Palin's guest-hosting gig on Tuesday's "Today Show". As Brian read the promo, an animated U.S. flag was waving behind him because obviously, Palin stands for everything that we love about America.
***A story about tornado early-warning systems included three gratuitous shots of tattered, U.S. flags waving in the tornado-ravaged rubble. It's sad and pathetic that the Nightly News producers use flags as just another prop to pander to the viewers. But we all know the Nightly News mantra--anything for ratings.
***Brian read another story about the record heat in March. Doesn't he get tired of saying the same thing over and over and over again? I guess not. He likes hearing himself talk.
***Brian then told us about a survey listing the best-performing airlines. Never mind that this isn't news and is really just of interest to him. He gets to report on whatever he wants, and obviously aviation is one of those subjects. Remember--the purpose of Nightly News is not to report the most important news stories, it's to report the stories that are of greatest interest to Brian.
***Speaking of which--the broadcast ended with a story about the 1940 census. Here's how Brian introduced the story: "Finally tonight, for those of US who are interested in who WE are, how far our nation has come and how much WE'VE changed in a very short time, the federal government today released a gold mine. They released the 1940 census." We. Us. It's always all about Brian. The Nightly News producers love stories like this. Obviously, it's cheaper and easier to report on 70-year-old stories than current news because the old stories don't require much new footage. The producers just throw together some old stock footage and clips of talking heads and voila--instant story. However, I can't help thinking that maybe Brian should have done a little more research for this story. He told us that the reason the census data was only now being released was, "...because the government has decided that so much time has passed that it shouldn't be confidential anymore...." Um, not exactly. There's a specific reason census data is kept confidential for 72 years. It's called the Right to Privacy Act, and it's set at 72 years because that's the length of the average human life span (or at least it was when the law was written). The census bureau is protecting each individual's census information for the presumed length of his or her life. But by all means Brian should not let the facts get in the way of what he reports. He hasn't in the past, so why start now? By the way, this story featured an interview with a 100-year-old woman who participated in the 1940 census. Nightly News never misses a chance to trot out a centenarian and parade her around. This is at least the third centenarian Nightly News has featured in the past few months. I guess they must bring in high ratings. Why else would the producers bother with them?
Tues. April 3--A story about women and obesity was titled "Growing Epidemic" because obviously the producers thought it would be funny to have a laugh at the expense of plus-size women. And I imagine that the only reason they even ran this story was because plus-size women are a desirable ratings demographic and can help with the broadcast's Nielsen numbers.
***Kevin Tibbles spent 1:38 on the story of an 80 year-old woman who landed a plane after her husband had a heart attack at the controls. This story could have been fully reported in 20 seconds, but the Nightly News producers have to turn every pseudo-news story into a Lifetime movie. Naturally, the final shot of the story was a flag at half-staff. Another ridiculous fluff story from the ridiculous Kevin Tibbles.
***Did you know that there's a Japanese "ghost ship" adrift in the Pacific near Alaska? Well, now you do. Are there actual ghosts on board? Brian didn't say.
***The broadcast ended with a story about museums' art collections that are now viewable on-line. Maybe I'm missing something, but can someone please explain to me how this qualifies as news? The story included a clip of Jackie Kennedy giving a White House tour because Brian has ordered his producers to include Kennedy clips in as many stories as possible. Apparently, the NBC News research department has informed Brian that Kennedy clips boost the ratings. It also included a clip from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" because Brian has ordered his producers to include movie clips in as many stories as possible. Apparently, the NBC News research department has also informed Brian that movie clips boost the ratings. Part of this story took place in New York's Museum of Modern Art. That reminded me of the 3/23/10 Nightly News story about the Last Supper, in which a painting was attributed to the "Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art". I guess the producers thought that New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art had merged with the Museum of Modern Art. But now they understand that these are two different museums. Look at how much the Nightly News producers learned in just two short years!
Wed. April 4--BBC World News reported that a Somali suicide bomber killed 10 people at Mogadishu's National Theater while the Prime Minister was giving a speech. Naturally, Brian did not report this because international news (especially stories from Africa) generates low ratings.
***Instead, Brian began the broadcast with two stories (totalling more than five minutes) about the tornadoes in Texas. In his intro to the second story, he called the video of the tornado "Some of the most dramatic storm footage ever captured on television." Really, Brian? You're not just exaggerating to keep people tuned in, are you? Of course not. He would never do something like that.
***A story about whether or not the Augusta National Golf Club will admit women was virtually identical to a story that ran the previous Friday. But Brian was off on Friday, so that story apparently didn't count. This story was titled both "Course Correction" and "Teed Off". It would be nice if the producers picked one title and went with it.
***A story about unnecessary medical tests was titled "Too Many Tests?" Again with the questions. I can remember a time when news broadcasts answered questions instead of asking them. It was also titled "Testing, Testing...." More multiple titles. Great. Twice during this story, there were on-screen references to the "ABIM Foundation" but Nancy Snyderman never explained what this is (it's a non-profit foundation established by the American Board of Internal Medicine). I guess Dr. Snyderman assumes that her viewers possess the same amount of medical knowledge that she does.
***Brian then spent 40 seconds reporting on pandas at the Edinburgh zoo. He said they'd "been thrown together into a mating area in the zoo not unlike the Poconos." He also said, "Of course, zoo officials still have the option of piping in some Marvin Gaye music." I wonder what Nightly News would be like if Brian didn't waste time reporting stupid stories about pandas and if he abstained from using stories just to set up his idiotic jokes. I guess it would be like the CBS Evening News.
***Next, Brian told us about a two-pound hot dog being sold at the Texas Rangers' Arlington Stadium. He quoted Nolan Ryan in calling it a "tremendous wiener". What is the deal with Brian's adolescent obsession with talking about male genitalia on the air? This certainly isn't the first time it has happened. On David Letterman's 1/3/11 show, Brian felt compelled to tell us that his recent trip to California included a pat-down by an airport security official who went "right after Dave and the twins." Then he twice used the word "shmegegge" as a euphemism for his genitalia. He also told Dave that there was "almost too much testosterone" in the room (I think we all know where in the body testosterone is made). And on Jimmy Fallon's 2/5/10 show, Brian called the luge bodysuit the "the most package-enhancing outfit...." It's really creepy to hear a supposedly professional network news anchor making repeated references to "shmegegges", "packages", "Dave and the twins" and a "tremendous wiener". From now on, whenever I hear Brian use an odd or unfamiliar phrase on his newscast, I'll be wondering if it's really a coded reference to his "shmegegge". Gross. I think I need to take a shower now.
***One thing I like about Brian is that he is never shy to tell us just how much he knows about a subject. To wit: in a story about the Civil War death total being revised upward, he said, "True U.S. history buffs grow up knowing the death toll in the Civil War was just north of 600,000--618,222 to be exact...." Therefore, by the transitive property of mathematics (if a = b and b = c, then a = c), Brian is telling us that he is a "true U.S. history buff". Another thing I like about Brian--his modesty.
***In a story about a burst water line on the White House grounds, Brian referred to the President's residence as "The People's House". What is wrong with him? Why can't he talk like a normal person? Why does he have to talk like he's part of his own imaginary Rat Pack? He also made the same idiotic reference twice before--on Jan. 31 and Feb. 1.
***The final story was about the ongoing construction of New York City's new Second Avenue subway line. Huh? This is news? Maybe the producers thought they were producing a segment for Discovery Channel's "Extreme Engineering". During this story, two different women were identified as "Jean Evans Rich--Second Avenue Resident". I guess that must be a very popular name on the Upper East Side.
***Let's recap. On this broadcast, we learned all about horny pandas, Brian's tremendous wiener, Brian's Civil War knowledge and the Second Avenue subway. But we didn't hear a thing about the suicide bombing in Mogadishu. Great work, Brian.
Thurs. April 5--In a story about George Zimmerman, Michael Isikoff went to great pains to show that Zimmerman's previous calls to the police did not mention the race of the "suspicious characters" he was reporting until he was asked about it. Isikoff also made sure to interview friends of Zimmerman who swear that he is not a racist. Obviously, this pro-Zimmerman story was meant to quell all the criticism that erupted earlier in the week after NBC News selectively edited the Trayvon Martin 911 tapes to intentionally make Zimmerman appear racist. Sorry--too little, too late. Here's an idea for the Nightly News producers: If you don't edit tapes to make someone look like a racist, you won't have to then scramble to produce favorable reports to counteract your earlier stupidity.
***Time for another story on the Augusta National Golf Club--the third Augusta story in less than a week. They're still not admitting women. Thanks for the update.
***A story about whooping cough was just another Nightly News alarmist story meant to scare people into not changing the channel. "OMG! I better watch this report so I don't get whooping cough!" I really don't think whooping cough is such a big problem that it merits a Nightly News story.
***We then saw a report on Syria. This one caught me by surprise, since Nightly News stories on Syria are so rare. I thought maybe the Nightly News producers were mad at Syria and that's why they've been ignoring it for so long.
***It had been 48 hours since Nightly News showed some Jackie Kennedy footage, so it was high time. Tonight, it was a story about Clint Hill, Jackie's Secret Service agent during her White House years (or perhaps I should say her "people's house" years). We saw lots and lots of video of JFK and Jackie, and of course it also included the clip of young John Kennedy, Jr. saluting his father's body as the hearse passed by. That clip has become a Nightly News trademark. They show it every week, sometimes several times a week. This is the 16th story about the Kennedys (or that featured clips of them) that Nightly News has shown since the beginning of the year. Apparently, Brian has a Kennedy fetish which is why he has ordered his producers to show Kennedy stories over and over and over. This story was reported by Savannah Guthrie, who was anchoring the broadcast in place of Brian that night. I guess Brian was spending a long weekend with his family at the Williams Compound in Hyannis Port. I bet he played a lot of football with his kids.
***Next, we saw another story about the 80 year-old woman who made a "miracle landing" after her husband died at the controls of his plane. You didn't think Nightly News would only do one story about this, did you? This story included cockpit voice recordings of the woman as she was being given instructions by air traffic controllers. I wonder if the Nightly News producers edited the tapes to make her sound racist, like they did with the George Zimmerman tapes.
***Since this was a broadcast full of repeat stories (Augusta, Jackie Kennedy, the "miracle landing"), it was only fitting that we would be shown another story about the Japanese "ghost ship" adrift off the coast of Alaska.
***The broadcast ended with a story about Miami's thriving film industry. And what a surprise--the story focused almost exclusively on Telemundo's Spanish-language soap operas and the USA Network's "Burn Notice". Telemundo and USA are both owned by Comcast/NBC Universal, so this "news story" was really just a 2:15 plug for NBC-owned properties. This shameless story was reported by Janet Shamlian. Maybe she should change her name to Janet Shameless. Well, at least she had the integrity to mention that Telemundo and USA were owned by NBC Universal. Let's be thankful for small things.
Fri. April 6--After spending more than a minute telling us about an anonymous Mega Millions lottery winner in Kansas, Savannah Guthrie spent 15 seconds reporting on the solemn ceremony in Sarajevo commemorating the 20th anniversary of the start of the Bosnian war. I guess that means that the lottery winner was four times more important than the Bosnian war and the estimated 200,000 people who died in that war. It's nice that the Nightly News producers have their priorities straight.
***Did you feel that Thursday's 3:45 story on Jackie Kennedy's Secret Service agent was not nearly long enough for you? If so, you're in luck. Guthrie presented part 2 of the story--and this time it clocked in at 4:15. Naturally, this story once again included the clip of John Kennedy, Jr. saluting his father's body as the hearse drove past. They should just play that clip over and over again on a continuous loop behind Brian (or whoever is anchoring). It would be a lot better than that idiotic animated waving flag we see so often. So this means that over two days, Guthrie wasted eight minutes of valuable news time showing old video of Jack and Jackie. Great job. Really. I mean it.
***Guthrie then took 22 seconds to promote a screening of "To Kill A Mockingbird" that would be airing Saturday on the USA Network. "Mockingbird" is a Universal film and USA is an NBC Universal network. So she's promoting a Comcast/NBC Universal film that will be airing on a Comcast/NBC Universal network. How special. This is the second night in a row that Nightly News has promoted something on the USA Network. I guess one of the NBC Universal corporate weasels ordered the Nightly News executive producer to start rabidly hyping the USA Network. By the way, the "Mockingbird" promo was longer than the story on the Bosnian war memorial ceremony so I guess it was more important.
***Then it was time for the third story on the Japanese "ghost ship". This time, Guthrie and her producers took 2:25 to tell us that the U.S. Coast Guard sank the ship. I can't be sure, but I thought I saw a brief clip of young John Kennedy, Jr. saluting the sunken ship.
***The final story was about an Oakland woman who opened a sandwich shop. That's it. That was the story. And it took them 2:20 to tell us about it. What would happen if the Nightly News producers devoted the entire broadcast to reporting actual news instead of bullshit? Oh well, it's a moot point. That will never happen. Not on Brian's watch.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
March Madness At NBC Nightly News
In the month of March, NBC Nightly News spent 10 minutes and 34 seconds reporting stories about Iran. They aired seven minutes worth of stories about Syria. And they did not do any stories at all about Iraq or the coup in Mali. By contrast, here are some subjects they covered quite extensively:
***They spent 17:26 on stories about the weather or climate change.
***They spent 14:52 on stories about movies ("Bully", "The Godfather", "The Hunger Games" and various James Cameron movies).
***They spent 12:50 on stories about military veterans and Medal of Honor recipients.
***They spent 12:36 on stories about the $640 million Mega Millions lottery jackpot.
***They spent 12:13 on stories about airlines or the aviation industry.
***They spent 8:32 on stories about Britain's Royal Family (Will and Kate, Harry, Queen Elizabeth).
***They spent 5:47 on stories about NASA or falling space junk.
***They spent 5:32 on stories about the NFL.
***They spent 5:03 on stories about animals.
So we can surmise that at Nightly News, the weather, movies, veterans and the Mega Millions lottery are more important than Iran, Iraq or Syria. And while Iran may be more important than the British Royal Family, the Royals are more important than Syria. And animals, football and falling space junk are each more important than Iraq or Mali. It's nice to know that Brian Williams and his producers have their priorities straight. Great work, guys.
***They spent 17:26 on stories about the weather or climate change.
***They spent 14:52 on stories about movies ("Bully", "The Godfather", "The Hunger Games" and various James Cameron movies).
***They spent 12:50 on stories about military veterans and Medal of Honor recipients.
***They spent 12:36 on stories about the $640 million Mega Millions lottery jackpot.
***They spent 12:13 on stories about airlines or the aviation industry.
***They spent 8:32 on stories about Britain's Royal Family (Will and Kate, Harry, Queen Elizabeth).
***They spent 5:47 on stories about NASA or falling space junk.
***They spent 5:32 on stories about the NFL.
***They spent 5:03 on stories about animals.
So we can surmise that at Nightly News, the weather, movies, veterans and the Mega Millions lottery are more important than Iran, Iraq or Syria. And while Iran may be more important than the British Royal Family, the Royals are more important than Syria. And animals, football and falling space junk are each more important than Iraq or Mali. It's nice to know that Brian Williams and his producers have their priorities straight. Great work, guys.
Friday, March 30, 2012
NBC Nightly News Show Notes--3/24/12 Through 3/30/12 (Revised--Full Week)
Q: What do you call an evening newscast that goes an entire week without a single report on Iran, Iraq or Syria? A: You call it NBC Nightly News. Also this week--Pete Williams dissed Brian Williams three times and Brian made me sick to my stomach. But the big news was the $640 Mega Millions lottery. Here's what else happened:
Sat. March 24--Congratulations to the Nightly News producers! In a story about the Trayvon Martin shooting, they correctly spelled the name of the Orlando Sentinel. Last Wednesday (3/21), they spelled it as "Sentinal". This shows real progress. They should be very proud of themselves.
***In a story about the GOP presidential candidates, Ron Mott reported live from Green Bay, Wisconsin. At first I was puzzled because there was no huge American flag over his shoulder, a requirement for all NBC News political reports (and most other remote reports). But upon closer examination, there actually was a tiny flag way, way off in the distance over Mott's right shoulder. This is completely unacceptable. NBC News rules clearly state that U.S. Flags must take up no less than 25% of the screen space in any live shot. I'm certain that some producer was read the riot act over this foul-up for failing to have located a huge flag to use in this report. Furthermore, all NBC News producers are required to carry their own huge flag to use in remote shots, so the producer responsible for this SNAFU was probably fired. By the way, at the beginning and end of this report, Mott was identified in a Nightly News graphic as being in "Green Bay. WI". That's right--the producers used a period instead of a comma. I guess they were too busy looking for a flag to pay attention to graphics details.
***A story about cheating on Georgia's public school achievement tests carried the "Rock Center" logo at the beginning because Brian Williams is desperate to do anything he can to boost that show's anemic ratings.
***We saw a minute-and-a-half story about Queen Elizabeth "crashing" a wedding because NBC News research shows that people love to watch stories about Great Britain's Royal Family.
***The final story of the night was about a three-year-old girl who suffers from a rare lung disease. The Nightly News producers constantly exploit sick children for ratings because these stories appeal to the viewers' sense of hope and pity. Nightly News shows dozens of stories each year about kids with cancer or other serious illnesses. But this story had an added bonus for the producers because this little girl has a service dog that carries around her oxygen tanks. So this is like the daily double for the Nightly News producers. Not only did they get to show plenty of shots of a cute, sick little girl, they also got to show her dog. It's like a Lassie movie. And just in case we didn't feel bad enough for little Alida Knobloch, the story included somber guitar music to make us even more melancholy. Another crafty Nightly News trick. They might as well have just played some Nick Drake or Kurt Cobain. A news broadcast that exploits sick children for ratings is just as bad as a scam charity that falsely claims to raise money for sick kids. They are both vile, predatory and leech-like. But the Nightly News producers don't care. All they care about are the ratings. Well done.
Sun. March 25--There was no Nightly News this night because golf ran late. What a surprise.
Mon. March 26--Pete Williams continues to be my hero. While introducing a story about the Supreme Court hearings on health care, Brian once again tried to sweet-talk Pete with a treacly "Good evening, Pete". But Pete just ignored Brian and went right into his story. I guess there's at least one person at Nightly News who understands that the news is about reporting stories, not about anchors and correspondents friending each other on the air. I bet that every time this happens, Brian stomps his feet and bangs his fists and complains to NBC News President Steve Capus. "Why won't Pete say 'Good Evening' to me? Why doesn't he like me? I'm a nice guy. Make him say 'Good Evening' to me, goddammit!"
***After Pete's Supreme Court story we were treated to a minute of inane analysis from Savannah Guthrie. A first-year law student could have given the same analysis. Brian introduced her by saying, "As a lawyer yourself and a watcher of all things Supreme Court..." He never misses an opportunity to remind us that Guthrie is a lawyer, like that's so impressive. Big deal--my Starbucks barista is a lawyer.
***We then got three minutes of Matt Lauer's interview with Sgt. Robert Bales' wife because promoting "The Today Show" is one of Brian's main responsibilities.
***Andrea Mitchell began her report about the Pope's visit to Cuba by saying, "Good evening Brian, and I know you were here the last time a Pope came to Cuba--John Paul II, of course, 14 years ago...." I'm sure Brian demanded that that line be included in Mitchell's report because he requires all his correspondents to acknowledge his journalistic acumen. He's like a Mafia Don insisting that his capos pay tribute.
***A story on weight loss surgery as a cure for diabetes was titled "Breakthrough?" Why do the Nightly News producers always use questions as titles for their stories? They're supposed to answer questions, not ask them. (Obviously, they do this as a ratings ploy to pique the viewers' interest and keep them from changing channels.)
***Time for another weather update. There was a cold snap in the Northeast! In March! Wow! Every time the temperature changes by a few degrees, Brian insists on reporting it. News flash: People get weather information from their local news, not from national news. But I guess since NBC Universal paid $3.5 billion for The Weather Channel, they make damn sure to use it as often as possible.
***The broadcast ended with a two-minute report about James Cameron's deep-sea dive. The story included 20 seconds of movie clips from "The Abyss", "Titanic", "Avatar" and "Terminator". Because obviously, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the first thing people think of when they think of deep-sea diving. By the way, CBS News also reported this story, but they didn't include any movie clips. I guess Scott Pelley is interested in reporting news, not pandering to his viewers with movie clips.
Tues. March 27--Here's how Brian introduced the lead story about the JetBlue pilot who went berserk: "Most people do the same thing when boarding an aircraft--you glance to the left quickly just to see the folks who are gonna do the flying and once WE'RE assured they look like pilots, WE make OUR way to OUR seats where OUR lives are in their hands." Wow. I mean--I know the news is always first and foremost about Brian, but five personal pronouns in one sentence? Impressive! That may be a new record.
***Pete Williams--you are the man! Once again, Pete refused to return Brian's platitudinous "Good Evening". I think I saw a little wisp of smoke come out of Brian's ears. And like last night, this story was followed by some vapid commentary from Savannah Guthrie. I can almost hear Johnny Cochran saying, "If your analysis is weak, then please don't speak."
***Brian took 30 seconds to tell us that chocolate may help people lose weight. Because he's all about the hard news.
***Brian began the next story by saying, "It's another great time to look at the night sky" because Venus and Jupiter are visible. Brian is always reporting astronomy-related crap because it's of interest to HIM. And let's face it--that's really what matters, isn't it? By the way, Brian already told us about Venus and Jupiter two weeks earlier on the 3/12 broadcast. Maybe Brian's lobbying to get a planet named after him. Has the name Narcissus been used yet?
***Stop the presses! A Colorado third-grader made a half-court basketball shot. And Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about it. You won't see this kind of intrepid reporting on ABC or CBS.
***The final report of the night was one of those stories that just makes me want to vomit. It was titled "Hiring Our Heroes" and here's how Brian introduced it: "And that brings us to our final report tonight--help for U.S. military veterans. When you think about it, their job while in uniform is to get the job done. Now ask yourself, if you're an employer--don't you want someone like that on your payroll? That's the gist of our company-wide campaign called 'Hiring Our Heroes'--a joint commitment by NBC Universal and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce which in the past year has held more than 100 job fairs for vets and their spouses. Thousands of people have been hired--NBC's Chris Jansing has the story of two of those vets who got the help they needed." Are you queasy yet? I'm nauseous just from typing that. This is another one of Nightly News's sickening rah-rah, gung-ho, eagle-soaring, flag-waving stories meant to stir up patriotic feelings and gain ratings among the NASCAR demographic. Can someone please explain to me how the hell it's the job of a news organization to launch a job initiative? And then report on it as if it's actual news? What an appalling breach of journalistic ethics. We all know Brian has given himself the responsibility of finding jobs for children of his friends (like Luke Russert) and presidential progeny (like Chelsea Clinton), but now he thinks he has to find jobs for veterans, too? This is just Brian patting his own back for pandering to the viewers' sense of faux-patriotism. Nightly News viewers are certainly aware that Brian is a fawning sycophantic toady who gets off by carrying water for the American military. He has single-handedly turned Nightly News into the propaganda arm of the U.S. armed services. And now, he's somehow convinced Steve Capus to go along with this grotesque self-promotional display of jingoism. I guess it's not a big surprise. Capus will do anything to keep Brian happy (such as continuing to carry the burdensome "Rock Center" on the NBC schedule despite its horrendous ratings). So he's willing to indulge Brian in this shameless and egotistical pursuit. And from a ratings perspective, it's probably not going to hurt. No one ever lost ratings points by waving the American flag around (Brian proves that every night). I have to say this is one of the most sickening things Nightly News has ever done--and that's saying a lot. How does the FCC allow this sham news organization to continue operating? What a waste of three minutes of valuable news time.
Wed. March 28--In keeping with their policy of boosting ratings by scaring viewers, the Nightly News producers used the title "Air Scare" for the lead story about the JetBlue pilot who went berserk. They also used the title "Flight Risk?" because the producers somehow think it's a good idea for a title to ask a question. The story included a clip from "The Today show" because--well, you know. In his intro to the story, Brian told us that "Airline Captains...are responsible for all souls on board." Why would he use a ridiculous word like "souls"? He uses this word frequently. Maybe all the coverage of the Pope has put Brian in a very ecclesiastical frame of mind.
***After the JetBlue story, Brian showed a graphic of all the planes in the air at the time. He said, "Take a look at this graphic from our friends at Flight Tracking website...." I guess since Pete Williams won't be Brian's friend, he's desperate to show us that he has lots of other friends.
***Speaking of Pete Williams--he again dissed Brian by ignoring his "Good evening, Pete". Pete's disdain for Brian is pretty obvious.
***After yet more inane commentary from Savannah Guthrie, Brian said, "Thank you, counselor, for your counsel during this case." That idiotic statement sounds like something out of "Ally McBeal".
***Just in case you had recovered from the previous day's sickening "Hiring Our Heroes" segment, it was time for another round. Here was Brian's intro: "Aboard the aircraft carrier/museum USS Intrepid here in New York today, an effort to help some of the Nation's veterans find civilian jobs back home. It's part of 'Hiring Our Heroes', a joint project by NBC Universal and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. More than 4,400 vets and their spouses attended job fairs today in New York, Chicago, Ft. Hood, Texas--16,000 more participated on line. Our own parent company, by the way, Comcast NBC Universal today pledged to hire 1,000 vets over the nest three-year period." He went on to say, "If you've seen a Sgt. Major in the army over in the field, you would hire that person so fast 'cause they can get anything done." I'm pretty sure that Brian had an erection while saying this. This isn't a news story, it's a promotional announcement for NBC. I spent so much time vomiting from last night's "Hiring Our Heroes" report that I could only manage to dry heave during this report. Naturally, the story ended with a plug for "Rock Center".
***Brian then spent 20 seconds telling us that the airplane manufacturer Hawker Beechcraft was filing for bankruptcy. Does anyone other than Brian care about this? Brian is an aviation geek, so he thinks that everyone is interested in stories like this. Because the news is all about Brian. Always.
***To end the broadcast, Kevin Tibbles spent two minutes telling us about the half-billion dollar Mega Millions jackpot. He asked passersby what they would do with the money, then had his blood pressure checked to make sure he could stand the stress of winning. Tibbles has become the Nightly News go-to guy whenever an insipidly stupid story needs to be reported. Remember his 3/9/12 "news story" about Barbie's 53rd anniversary? Or his awesome 4/6/11 report about Pringles? Or his 12/16/09 breaking news story about Rudolph, the blind and deaf dachshund? Yes, Tibbles has done some great work at Nightly News. Peabody material. At every news network, there's always one person who the producers assign to the silliest, most inane stories because they know he or she will report a story no matter how idiotic is is. At Nightly News, Tibbles is that person.
Thurs. March 29--The first two stories (totalling more than four minutes) were about new CDC statistics on autism. Not exactly what I would consider lead story material. Then, when Lester (who was anchoring that night) began introducing the next story (about the Trayvon Martin shooting), the graphic box over his left shoulder and the graphic wall behind him still read "Diagnosis: Autism". I guess the graphics technician must have fallen asleep. Can anyone blame her? Someone get this person a double espresso--stat!
***The Trayvon Martin story was titled "New Evidence?" because phrasing the title in the form of a question draws the viewers in much more so than with a simple declarative title. Just another trick to boost ratings courtesy of the Nightly News producers. At the end of this story, Ron Allen said, "We should point out that Sanford police only made those tapes available because of a Freedom of Information request by NBC News and other journalists." I love how Allen threw in "and other journalists" at the end--as if NBC News was the prime mover in the FOI request and the other "journalists" were just a couple of 1940's-type hacks with "press" cards in their fedoras. I'm pretty sure that all the other major networks also made FOI requests.
***Next, it was time for yet another story on gas prices. Tom Costello took 2:45 to say what could have been said in thirty seconds. Costello basically regurgitated old information that had already been previously presented in the nine stories on gas prices that Nightly News ran in February.
***Then we got another report on the "Bully" movie from the vapid Kate Snow. I guess the two-and-a-half minutes Nightly News devoted to that movie on March 10 wasn't enough, so we needed another three minutes. And the story ended with a twenty-second promo for a longer "Bully" story on Sunday's "Dateline" because obviously we just can't get enough of "Bully". I suspect that Brian is the one behind the scenes pushing "Bully" on us because it seems pretty clear that he was bullied as a child. And maybe even as an adult.
***An obituary for Earl Scruggs was really just an excuse to entertain the viewers with clips from "The Beverly Hillbillies" and "Bonnie and Clyde". In fact, almost 25% of the story was comprised of movie and TV clips. That sounds about right.
***The final story was about the modern-day gold rush in Elko, Nevada. I guess this is what passes for news at Nightly News. Hey, the Discovery Channel called--they want their programming back.
Fri. March 30--On this busy news day, what story do you suppose Nightly News lead off with? The elections in Burma? The situation in Syria? No. Nightly News lead off with two stories (comprising nearly five minutes) about the Mega Millions drawing. In the first story, Stephanie Gosk interviewed people about what they'd do with $640 million (maybe she should have asked Brian, since he's one of the few people who actually has that much money). In the second story, Suze Orman gave us some helpful advice to use if we win: "Once you've won, it's different. Now you're in this whole different state of 'Oh my God, I have this money!'" And this: "Here's the bottom line--money alone will never, ever, ever make you happy, but lack of money will make you miserable." Hey, thanks, a lot Suze. Awesome advice. Oh, by the way, Orman has a show on CNBC so don't forget to watch that. And remember to order the shady Suze Orman debit card so she can profit from your tailspin into bankruptcy.
***OMG! Nightly News did a story about Iran--the first Iran story they've done in two weeks! What's the deal--is Iran sponsoring a $640 million lottery? I can't imagine why else they'd bother to report on Iran.
***The broadcast ended with...that's right--another story about the Mega Millions lottery drawing. With this two-minute story, Nightly News has spent nearly seven minutes this night reporting on the lottery. That's almost a third of the entire broadcast. Well, if something is really important, you gotta go with it. And this story was reported by Kevin Tibbles so you know it's special. It included a clip of Frank Sinatra singing "Luck Be A Lady" as well as clips from the movie "It Could Happen To You" and the old "Let's Make A Deal" TV show. And before the previous commercial break, the exit music previewing this story was Pink Floyd's "Money". Because at Nightly News, you can't tell a story without pop songs and movie clips. Great job, Kevin. You should be so proud.
***So let's recap. This week, Nightly News did not mention the coup in Mali. They did not do a single story about Syria. But the producers gave us nine minutes worth of Mega Millions lottery stories. That's why I love Nightly News.
Sat. March 24--Congratulations to the Nightly News producers! In a story about the Trayvon Martin shooting, they correctly spelled the name of the Orlando Sentinel. Last Wednesday (3/21), they spelled it as "Sentinal". This shows real progress. They should be very proud of themselves.
***In a story about the GOP presidential candidates, Ron Mott reported live from Green Bay, Wisconsin. At first I was puzzled because there was no huge American flag over his shoulder, a requirement for all NBC News political reports (and most other remote reports). But upon closer examination, there actually was a tiny flag way, way off in the distance over Mott's right shoulder. This is completely unacceptable. NBC News rules clearly state that U.S. Flags must take up no less than 25% of the screen space in any live shot. I'm certain that some producer was read the riot act over this foul-up for failing to have located a huge flag to use in this report. Furthermore, all NBC News producers are required to carry their own huge flag to use in remote shots, so the producer responsible for this SNAFU was probably fired. By the way, at the beginning and end of this report, Mott was identified in a Nightly News graphic as being in "Green Bay. WI". That's right--the producers used a period instead of a comma. I guess they were too busy looking for a flag to pay attention to graphics details.
***A story about cheating on Georgia's public school achievement tests carried the "Rock Center" logo at the beginning because Brian Williams is desperate to do anything he can to boost that show's anemic ratings.
***We saw a minute-and-a-half story about Queen Elizabeth "crashing" a wedding because NBC News research shows that people love to watch stories about Great Britain's Royal Family.
***The final story of the night was about a three-year-old girl who suffers from a rare lung disease. The Nightly News producers constantly exploit sick children for ratings because these stories appeal to the viewers' sense of hope and pity. Nightly News shows dozens of stories each year about kids with cancer or other serious illnesses. But this story had an added bonus for the producers because this little girl has a service dog that carries around her oxygen tanks. So this is like the daily double for the Nightly News producers. Not only did they get to show plenty of shots of a cute, sick little girl, they also got to show her dog. It's like a Lassie movie. And just in case we didn't feel bad enough for little Alida Knobloch, the story included somber guitar music to make us even more melancholy. Another crafty Nightly News trick. They might as well have just played some Nick Drake or Kurt Cobain. A news broadcast that exploits sick children for ratings is just as bad as a scam charity that falsely claims to raise money for sick kids. They are both vile, predatory and leech-like. But the Nightly News producers don't care. All they care about are the ratings. Well done.
Sun. March 25--There was no Nightly News this night because golf ran late. What a surprise.
Mon. March 26--Pete Williams continues to be my hero. While introducing a story about the Supreme Court hearings on health care, Brian once again tried to sweet-talk Pete with a treacly "Good evening, Pete". But Pete just ignored Brian and went right into his story. I guess there's at least one person at Nightly News who understands that the news is about reporting stories, not about anchors and correspondents friending each other on the air. I bet that every time this happens, Brian stomps his feet and bangs his fists and complains to NBC News President Steve Capus. "Why won't Pete say 'Good Evening' to me? Why doesn't he like me? I'm a nice guy. Make him say 'Good Evening' to me, goddammit!"
***After Pete's Supreme Court story we were treated to a minute of inane analysis from Savannah Guthrie. A first-year law student could have given the same analysis. Brian introduced her by saying, "As a lawyer yourself and a watcher of all things Supreme Court..." He never misses an opportunity to remind us that Guthrie is a lawyer, like that's so impressive. Big deal--my Starbucks barista is a lawyer.
***We then got three minutes of Matt Lauer's interview with Sgt. Robert Bales' wife because promoting "The Today Show" is one of Brian's main responsibilities.
***Andrea Mitchell began her report about the Pope's visit to Cuba by saying, "Good evening Brian, and I know you were here the last time a Pope came to Cuba--John Paul II, of course, 14 years ago...." I'm sure Brian demanded that that line be included in Mitchell's report because he requires all his correspondents to acknowledge his journalistic acumen. He's like a Mafia Don insisting that his capos pay tribute.
***A story on weight loss surgery as a cure for diabetes was titled "Breakthrough?" Why do the Nightly News producers always use questions as titles for their stories? They're supposed to answer questions, not ask them. (Obviously, they do this as a ratings ploy to pique the viewers' interest and keep them from changing channels.)
***Time for another weather update. There was a cold snap in the Northeast! In March! Wow! Every time the temperature changes by a few degrees, Brian insists on reporting it. News flash: People get weather information from their local news, not from national news. But I guess since NBC Universal paid $3.5 billion for The Weather Channel, they make damn sure to use it as often as possible.
***The broadcast ended with a two-minute report about James Cameron's deep-sea dive. The story included 20 seconds of movie clips from "The Abyss", "Titanic", "Avatar" and "Terminator". Because obviously, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the first thing people think of when they think of deep-sea diving. By the way, CBS News also reported this story, but they didn't include any movie clips. I guess Scott Pelley is interested in reporting news, not pandering to his viewers with movie clips.
Tues. March 27--Here's how Brian introduced the lead story about the JetBlue pilot who went berserk: "Most people do the same thing when boarding an aircraft--you glance to the left quickly just to see the folks who are gonna do the flying and once WE'RE assured they look like pilots, WE make OUR way to OUR seats where OUR lives are in their hands." Wow. I mean--I know the news is always first and foremost about Brian, but five personal pronouns in one sentence? Impressive! That may be a new record.
***Pete Williams--you are the man! Once again, Pete refused to return Brian's platitudinous "Good Evening". I think I saw a little wisp of smoke come out of Brian's ears. And like last night, this story was followed by some vapid commentary from Savannah Guthrie. I can almost hear Johnny Cochran saying, "If your analysis is weak, then please don't speak."
***Brian took 30 seconds to tell us that chocolate may help people lose weight. Because he's all about the hard news.
***Brian began the next story by saying, "It's another great time to look at the night sky" because Venus and Jupiter are visible. Brian is always reporting astronomy-related crap because it's of interest to HIM. And let's face it--that's really what matters, isn't it? By the way, Brian already told us about Venus and Jupiter two weeks earlier on the 3/12 broadcast. Maybe Brian's lobbying to get a planet named after him. Has the name Narcissus been used yet?
***Stop the presses! A Colorado third-grader made a half-court basketball shot. And Brian spent 30 seconds telling us about it. You won't see this kind of intrepid reporting on ABC or CBS.
***The final report of the night was one of those stories that just makes me want to vomit. It was titled "Hiring Our Heroes" and here's how Brian introduced it: "And that brings us to our final report tonight--help for U.S. military veterans. When you think about it, their job while in uniform is to get the job done. Now ask yourself, if you're an employer--don't you want someone like that on your payroll? That's the gist of our company-wide campaign called 'Hiring Our Heroes'--a joint commitment by NBC Universal and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce which in the past year has held more than 100 job fairs for vets and their spouses. Thousands of people have been hired--NBC's Chris Jansing has the story of two of those vets who got the help they needed." Are you queasy yet? I'm nauseous just from typing that. This is another one of Nightly News's sickening rah-rah, gung-ho, eagle-soaring, flag-waving stories meant to stir up patriotic feelings and gain ratings among the NASCAR demographic. Can someone please explain to me how the hell it's the job of a news organization to launch a job initiative? And then report on it as if it's actual news? What an appalling breach of journalistic ethics. We all know Brian has given himself the responsibility of finding jobs for children of his friends (like Luke Russert) and presidential progeny (like Chelsea Clinton), but now he thinks he has to find jobs for veterans, too? This is just Brian patting his own back for pandering to the viewers' sense of faux-patriotism. Nightly News viewers are certainly aware that Brian is a fawning sycophantic toady who gets off by carrying water for the American military. He has single-handedly turned Nightly News into the propaganda arm of the U.S. armed services. And now, he's somehow convinced Steve Capus to go along with this grotesque self-promotional display of jingoism. I guess it's not a big surprise. Capus will do anything to keep Brian happy (such as continuing to carry the burdensome "Rock Center" on the NBC schedule despite its horrendous ratings). So he's willing to indulge Brian in this shameless and egotistical pursuit. And from a ratings perspective, it's probably not going to hurt. No one ever lost ratings points by waving the American flag around (Brian proves that every night). I have to say this is one of the most sickening things Nightly News has ever done--and that's saying a lot. How does the FCC allow this sham news organization to continue operating? What a waste of three minutes of valuable news time.
Wed. March 28--In keeping with their policy of boosting ratings by scaring viewers, the Nightly News producers used the title "Air Scare" for the lead story about the JetBlue pilot who went berserk. They also used the title "Flight Risk?" because the producers somehow think it's a good idea for a title to ask a question. The story included a clip from "The Today show" because--well, you know. In his intro to the story, Brian told us that "Airline Captains...are responsible for all souls on board." Why would he use a ridiculous word like "souls"? He uses this word frequently. Maybe all the coverage of the Pope has put Brian in a very ecclesiastical frame of mind.
***After the JetBlue story, Brian showed a graphic of all the planes in the air at the time. He said, "Take a look at this graphic from our friends at Flight Tracking website...." I guess since Pete Williams won't be Brian's friend, he's desperate to show us that he has lots of other friends.
***Speaking of Pete Williams--he again dissed Brian by ignoring his "Good evening, Pete". Pete's disdain for Brian is pretty obvious.
***After yet more inane commentary from Savannah Guthrie, Brian said, "Thank you, counselor, for your counsel during this case." That idiotic statement sounds like something out of "Ally McBeal".
***Just in case you had recovered from the previous day's sickening "Hiring Our Heroes" segment, it was time for another round. Here was Brian's intro: "Aboard the aircraft carrier/museum USS Intrepid here in New York today, an effort to help some of the Nation's veterans find civilian jobs back home. It's part of 'Hiring Our Heroes', a joint project by NBC Universal and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. More than 4,400 vets and their spouses attended job fairs today in New York, Chicago, Ft. Hood, Texas--16,000 more participated on line. Our own parent company, by the way, Comcast NBC Universal today pledged to hire 1,000 vets over the nest three-year period." He went on to say, "If you've seen a Sgt. Major in the army over in the field, you would hire that person so fast 'cause they can get anything done." I'm pretty sure that Brian had an erection while saying this. This isn't a news story, it's a promotional announcement for NBC. I spent so much time vomiting from last night's "Hiring Our Heroes" report that I could only manage to dry heave during this report. Naturally, the story ended with a plug for "Rock Center".
***Brian then spent 20 seconds telling us that the airplane manufacturer Hawker Beechcraft was filing for bankruptcy. Does anyone other than Brian care about this? Brian is an aviation geek, so he thinks that everyone is interested in stories like this. Because the news is all about Brian. Always.
***To end the broadcast, Kevin Tibbles spent two minutes telling us about the half-billion dollar Mega Millions jackpot. He asked passersby what they would do with the money, then had his blood pressure checked to make sure he could stand the stress of winning. Tibbles has become the Nightly News go-to guy whenever an insipidly stupid story needs to be reported. Remember his 3/9/12 "news story" about Barbie's 53rd anniversary? Or his awesome 4/6/11 report about Pringles? Or his 12/16/09 breaking news story about Rudolph, the blind and deaf dachshund? Yes, Tibbles has done some great work at Nightly News. Peabody material. At every news network, there's always one person who the producers assign to the silliest, most inane stories because they know he or she will report a story no matter how idiotic is is. At Nightly News, Tibbles is that person.
Thurs. March 29--The first two stories (totalling more than four minutes) were about new CDC statistics on autism. Not exactly what I would consider lead story material. Then, when Lester (who was anchoring that night) began introducing the next story (about the Trayvon Martin shooting), the graphic box over his left shoulder and the graphic wall behind him still read "Diagnosis: Autism". I guess the graphics technician must have fallen asleep. Can anyone blame her? Someone get this person a double espresso--stat!
***The Trayvon Martin story was titled "New Evidence?" because phrasing the title in the form of a question draws the viewers in much more so than with a simple declarative title. Just another trick to boost ratings courtesy of the Nightly News producers. At the end of this story, Ron Allen said, "We should point out that Sanford police only made those tapes available because of a Freedom of Information request by NBC News and other journalists." I love how Allen threw in "and other journalists" at the end--as if NBC News was the prime mover in the FOI request and the other "journalists" were just a couple of 1940's-type hacks with "press" cards in their fedoras. I'm pretty sure that all the other major networks also made FOI requests.
***Next, it was time for yet another story on gas prices. Tom Costello took 2:45 to say what could have been said in thirty seconds. Costello basically regurgitated old information that had already been previously presented in the nine stories on gas prices that Nightly News ran in February.
***Then we got another report on the "Bully" movie from the vapid Kate Snow. I guess the two-and-a-half minutes Nightly News devoted to that movie on March 10 wasn't enough, so we needed another three minutes. And the story ended with a twenty-second promo for a longer "Bully" story on Sunday's "Dateline" because obviously we just can't get enough of "Bully". I suspect that Brian is the one behind the scenes pushing "Bully" on us because it seems pretty clear that he was bullied as a child. And maybe even as an adult.
***An obituary for Earl Scruggs was really just an excuse to entertain the viewers with clips from "The Beverly Hillbillies" and "Bonnie and Clyde". In fact, almost 25% of the story was comprised of movie and TV clips. That sounds about right.
***The final story was about the modern-day gold rush in Elko, Nevada. I guess this is what passes for news at Nightly News. Hey, the Discovery Channel called--they want their programming back.
Fri. March 30--On this busy news day, what story do you suppose Nightly News lead off with? The elections in Burma? The situation in Syria? No. Nightly News lead off with two stories (comprising nearly five minutes) about the Mega Millions drawing. In the first story, Stephanie Gosk interviewed people about what they'd do with $640 million (maybe she should have asked Brian, since he's one of the few people who actually has that much money). In the second story, Suze Orman gave us some helpful advice to use if we win: "Once you've won, it's different. Now you're in this whole different state of 'Oh my God, I have this money!'" And this: "Here's the bottom line--money alone will never, ever, ever make you happy, but lack of money will make you miserable." Hey, thanks, a lot Suze. Awesome advice. Oh, by the way, Orman has a show on CNBC so don't forget to watch that. And remember to order the shady Suze Orman debit card so she can profit from your tailspin into bankruptcy.
***OMG! Nightly News did a story about Iran--the first Iran story they've done in two weeks! What's the deal--is Iran sponsoring a $640 million lottery? I can't imagine why else they'd bother to report on Iran.
***The broadcast ended with...that's right--another story about the Mega Millions lottery drawing. With this two-minute story, Nightly News has spent nearly seven minutes this night reporting on the lottery. That's almost a third of the entire broadcast. Well, if something is really important, you gotta go with it. And this story was reported by Kevin Tibbles so you know it's special. It included a clip of Frank Sinatra singing "Luck Be A Lady" as well as clips from the movie "It Could Happen To You" and the old "Let's Make A Deal" TV show. And before the previous commercial break, the exit music previewing this story was Pink Floyd's "Money". Because at Nightly News, you can't tell a story without pop songs and movie clips. Great job, Kevin. You should be so proud.
***So let's recap. This week, Nightly News did not mention the coup in Mali. They did not do a single story about Syria. But the producers gave us nine minutes worth of Mega Millions lottery stories. That's why I love Nightly News.
Friday, March 23, 2012
NBC Nightly News Show Notes--3/17/12 Through 3/23/12 (Revised--Full Week)
Not surprisingly, Nightly News spent more time this week reporting on the warm March weather than on Syria, Iraq and Iran combined. The producers have their priorities, after all.
Sat. March 17--After several minutes of reports on the massacre of Afghan civilians by Sgt. Robert Bales, Lester Holt said, "Another big story we've been following today, the continuing late winter warming trend." So at Nightly News, warm weather in March carries the same news value as the killing of 17 innocent people. I'm surprised they didn't put the weather story first.
***Ron Mott ended his report about the GOP Illinois primary with a live shot where he was standing in front a huge American flag. It is comical how the Nightly News producers make a point of inserting a U.S. flag into every possible shot. Pander, pander, pander. That's the Nightly News motto.
***Hallelujah! Nightly News spent a minute reporting on Syria. This is the first Syria story they have done in a week. Obviously, Syria is not considered to be a "big story" like the warm weather in March.
***We were treated to 35 seconds of video of various St. Patrick's Day celebrations, including the obligatory shots of the Chicago River dyed green and the President drinking a pint of Guinness. It's not difficult to figure out why we were shown this story. Brian Williams is of Irish descent and every year he orders the Nightly News producers to do a story on St. Patrick's day--even when he's not anchoring.
***It had been a whopping 48 hours since Nightly News did a story about Kate Middleton, so we were treated to some footage of her visit to the British Army's Irish Guards on St. Patrick's Day. Can you believe that some news organizations actually spend more time reporting on Syria than on Kate Middleton? Obviously, Nightly News isn't one of them.
***A story about the harmful effects of sugary sodas was relegated to the lower-rated weekend broadcast. With fewer people watching, the negative impact on NBC sponsors like Coke and Pepsi was minimized. CBS News reported this story on the previous Monday because their producers are concerned with reporting news, not protecting their sponsors. The Nightly News story included a clip from "The Today Show", because promoting that show is one of the main goals of the producers.
***In the final segment, Lester spent 2:45 reporting on the 40th anniversary of "The Godfather". The Nightly News philosophy is to constantly show "news stories" about movies. By pandering to the viewers' thirst for entertainment stories, Brian and his producers maintain high ratings. (Let's not forget that one night earlier, Nightly News devoted two minutes of valuable news time to the hubbub surrounding the premier of "The Hunger Games".) And just for good measure, they included a clip from "The Sopranos" as well. Bravo. Well done.
Sun. March 18--There was no Nightly News this night because golf ran late. Obviously, golf is more important (meaning more profitable) than news to the NBC weasels.
Mon. March 19--The lead story was the weather. What a surprise. Brian spent 20 seconds of his intro talking about the weather in Chicago because one of his main jobs is pandering to the "good people of Chicago". Apparently, the NBC News research department has informed Brian that the Chicago ratings are crucial for Nightly News, so Brian always makes a point of talking about Chicago. There are important news stories going on all around the world and Nightly News leads with nearly four minutes on the weather. As if we need further evidence that Nightly News is a joke.
***Here's how Brian introduced a story about antibiotics: "There's health news tonight having to do with the most dire warnings yet on this growing problem of infections that are totally resistant to treatment with antibiotics." Along with the title "Overmedicated?", the story also was titled "Antibiotic Warning". This is just another Nightly News alarmist story designed to boost ratings by scaring viewers into watching. You can always identify one of these silly stories because the title contains a question mark. In the past five weeks, similar stories included "Hidden Dangers?" (of lipstick), "Warning Signs?" (of autism), "Hidden Risks?" (of dirty surgical instruments) and "Danger at Sea?" (cruise ships). Any Nightly News story title that includes a question mark in its title should not be taken seriously. Of course, most Nightly News stories should not be taken seriously anyway, but that's a separate issue. In this story, Nancy Snyderman also did her best to sound the alarmist trumpet with statements like, "...antibiotic resistance could mean the end of modern medicine." I expect this crap from Brian because he has no ethical compass, but Snyderman is a doctor and is supposed to report responsibly. Brian ended the story by calling it "a clear and present danger" because his lack of originality requires him to frequently use movie titles in lieu of actual thoughts.
***Brian told us that Patrick Cox of TaxMasters filed for bankruptcy. What? Who? Why is this news?
***He then took 45 seconds to report the death of Medal of Honor winner William Charette. Brian always reports the deaths of MOH winners because he serves on the MOH Foundation's Board of Directors. So he's promoting an organization with which he is affiliated--an organization that relies heavily on public contributions. Plugging the MOH Foundation is just a way for Brian to raise money for his organization. Sounds like an unethical conflict of interest. Funny thing--I don't see MOH deaths reported on any other network broadcast. But then again, the other news anchors are not fawning, obsequious, pretend-military-wannabes like Brian.
***Here's how Brian teased a story about the FAA's promise to reevaluate the use of personal electronic devices on planes: "Up next here tonight--is it possible WE'RE going to be allowed to leave a few things on during taxi, takeoff and landing?" And here's part of his narration for the story: "The FAA is gonna review what WE can use and what WE have to power down on planes during taxi, takeoff and landing." We, we, we. Because the news is always about Brian.
***The broadcast ended with a 2:10 story about Kate Middleton. Brian tries to put Kate on the broadcast as often as possible because she delivers good ratings. (In the second half of 2011, Nightly News reported 21 Kate stories, totalling more than 37 minutes.) Here's part of Michelle Kosinski's narration: "A fashion icon who does her own hair and makeup, buys inexpensive clothes--even second hand. Her dress today--borrowed from mom." This is what passes for news on Nightly News. Imagine--other networks are wasting time reporting stories about Iran, Iraq and Syria instead of Kate Middleton. They should be ashamed of themselves.
Tues. March 20--The lead story was the cancer-fighting properties of aspirin. This is only a slightly less ridiculous lead story than the weather. Obviously, the whole point of the story was to promote Bayer aspirin (Bayer is the most frequent advertiser on Nightly News, often running 3 or 4 commercials a night). And just in case we didn't get the Bayer connection, the producers showed an animation of an aspirin bottle that was yellow and brown--immediately recognizable as Bayer's colors. They even shaped the brown portion of the label in exactly the same way it is shaped on a Bayer bottle. Subtle.
***At the end of a story about a tornado in Texas, Brian told us that it was "85 degrees in Chicago today, by the way."
***Two-and-a-half minutes later, Brian began a story about the Illinois primary by saying, "In Illinois today, it's another summer-like day in March...." So in less than three minutes, Brian twice told us about the weather in Illinois. Keep pandering to those Illinois viewers, big guy! Then, with his usual waving flag animation behind him, Brian introduced Peter Alexander, who was standing with a gigantic U.S. flag waving behind him. Two flags waving on screen at once! More pandering. Why doesn't Alexander just wrap a flag around himself like a toga?
***In that same story, Brian told us that Peter Alexander was in Schaumburg, Illinois. But an on-screen graphic told us that he was in "Ft. Leavenworth, KS" and Alexander himself said, "Brian, good evening to you from Chicago." So where was he? Schaumburg? Ft. Leavenworth? Chicago? That's three different locations we were given. Are we supposed to guess? I thought Matt Lauer was the "Where in the world is he" guy.
***As Brian introduced the next story about women's reproductive rights, he still had the waving flag animation behind him. So Brian is trying to turn women's rights into some sort of faux-patriotic issue? Pathetic. Also in this story, a shot of Rick Santorum standing in front of a huge U.S. flag was superimposed over a U.S. flag animation. Doubly pathetic. I think that if Betsy Ross was alive today, she'd tell Brian Williams, "Knock off the flag bullshit, asshole. You've even made me sick of the flag." Also during this story, a clip from "Andrea Mitchell Reports" included comments from Eva Longoria, because showing celebrities is what Nightly News is all about. And like the 5/18/10 Nightly News "Making A Difference" profile of Longoria, there was no mention made of her work on "Desperate Housewives" because Nightly News has a policy of not mentioning shows on rival networks.
***A story about the shooting death of Trayvon Martin ended with Brian reading a promo for Martin's parents' appearance on Wednesday's "Today Show". Because Nightly News is really just a vehicle to promote NBC's entertainment shows.
***Here's the next story Brian read: "Big news in the fast-food community tonight--there's been a change near the top--Wendy's has bumped Burger King from the #2 spot, edging out Burger King in sales for the first time since Wendy's was founded by Dave Thomas back in 1969. McDonald's, though, trumps both and by a big margin." As he read this, there was a huge Wendy's logo over his left shoulder, soon followed by the logos of all three restaurants. Brian is the only news anchor who regularly reports on the goings-on in the fast food industry. One reason he does this is to pander to the blue-collar viewers who eat at those places. But the main reason is to give free ad space to regular Nightly News advertisers. Brian is a de facto spokesman for McDonald's--he often reads press releases for them--seemingly verbatim. "big news in the fast-food community" isn't really news at all, except on Nightly News.
***Next, we saw a 45-second story about Queen Elizabeth's speech on the occasion of her Diamond Jubilee. I guess on those days when Kate Middleton isn't making any public appearances, the Queen will have to do.
***Michelle Obama is another suitable substitute for Kate. With no Kate news to report, Brian spent 45 seconds telling us about Mrs. Obama's appearance on David Letterman's show talking about her incognito shopping trips to Target. Maybe the producers should have used a "breaking news" banner for that one.
***Brian then took 25 seconds to tell us about some Medal of Honor winners who rang the closing bell at the NYSE. Again, this isn't news on any other network, but every time a MOH winner coughs, Brian reports it. He called them "heroes in the balcony". Is that anything like a fawning sycophant in the anchor's chair?
***The final story was another report about the search for Amelia Earhart. This was basically the same story Nightly News reported on 12/18/10. But Brian knows that the viewers' memories are short so he repeats stories over and over and over again. It reminds me of the Ani DiFranco lyric (from "Little Plastic Castle"): "They say goldfish have no memory/I guess their lives are much like mine/And the little plastic castle is a surprise every time/And it's hard to say if they're happy/But they don't seem much to mind." That sounds about right--as far as Brian is concerned we're nothing more than goldfish. This story was reported by the banal Chris Jansing, who is quickly emerging as a rival to Anne Thompson in the category of reporting pointless stories with no news value.
***In Iraq, more than 50 people were killed Tuesday in terrorist attacks meant to protest the upcoming Arab League Summit in Baghdad. Brian completely ignored this story, but at least we know all about the weather in Chicago and Michelle Obama's shopping trips to Target. Great work, Brian.
Wed. March 21--The lead story on the shooting of Trayvon Martin included a 22-second clip of his parents on "The Today Show". It's shameful (but not surprising) that Brian is using this young boy's death to promote NBC's morning program.
***In the same story, a video clip of a witness describing what he saw was attributed (in a Nightly News graphic) to the "Orlando Sentinal [sic]". It's appalling that the Nightly News producers cannot manage to correctly spell the name of the Orlando Sentinel. Have they ever heard of Google or Wikipedia?
***A follow-up to the Trayvon Martin story included a banner ad for TheGrio.com (owned by NBC) because the producers apparently have no qualms about using Trayvon's death to promote an NBC website.
***A story about the Republican presidential race included another clip of Donald Trump in order to promote "Celebrity Apprentice".
***Brian began a story about allergies by saying, "We have been reporting for days on end about the freakish warm weather that has enveloped so much of the country very early in the season--like 85 degrees in Chicago." Once again, Brian found a way to insert Chicago into a story. What a surprise. One night, I'd like to see Brian mention Chicago during every Nightly News story. And he even brags about the fact that Nightly News has spent days reporting on what is essentially a silly non-story. I guess he's proud of his poor choices as managing editor. The idiotic Chris Jansing then went on to report about the bad allergy season in Atlanta. There was something familiar about this story...oh yeah, now I remember. Five weeks ago (on 2/14/12) the equally idiotic Anne Thompson did a report on...the bad allergy season in Atlanta. Jansing's report even incorporated previously-used footage from Thompson's report, but of course the Nightly News producers never indicated that the footage was old. Thompson's original story was pointless, so doing a rerun of a pointless story is...what? Doubly pointless? Pointless squared? And what a sad commentary on Jansing's status at Nightly News. She gets to rehash old Anne Thompson stories. That's sort of like the third-string player who every couple of games is given a few minutes of garbage time.
***Next, Brian took 1:44 to tell us about the suspension of New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton for allowing his players to put a bounty on opposing players. Brian uses any excuse to cover the NFL on Nightly News because it's a great way to promote Sunday Night Football--NBC's highest-rated show. In his intro, Brian described the Saints as "one of the great and storied football teams of all of football" and "a legendary team". What idiotic things to say. It's a football team, you moron, not the Supreme Court.
***After that, Brian spent 20 seconds telling us that Sen. Barbara Mikulski has become the longest-serving woman in Congressional history. I wonder why that sounds familiar. Now I remember--Lester Holt already reported this story on Saturday--the actual day Sen. Mikulski became Congress's longest-serving female member. Brian frequently re-reports Lester's stories because a story isn't official unless it's reported by Brian himself.
***Brian then told us about the cast of "Mad Men" ringing the opening bell on Wall Street. This was really just a promo for Brian's "Mad Men" story that would be airing later that night on the barely-watched "Rock Center".
***The broadcast ended with Kevin Tibbles' ridiculous story about the residents of a Wisconsin town who have been hearing unexplained loud booms. The story included an 18-second clip from the movie "Tremors" because ultimately, Nightly News is an entertainment show. I think we can add Tibbles' name to the "pointless roster" that already includes Anne Thompson and Chris Jansing. Brian introduced this story by saying, "Finally tonight, a story about a nice place they're calling a 'boom town' jokingly...the good people in one town in Wisconsin would right now give anything to find out what's making that noise...." For Brian, one town's misfortune is just an opportunity to pander to the "good people" who live there in the hope of getting them to become Nightly News viewers.
Thurs. March 22--A story about the Trayvon Martin shooting included commentary from Joy-Ann Reid, managing editor of TheGrio.com. First and foremost, it is the responsibility of the Nightly News producers to use their broadcast to plug other NBC properties.
***A follow-up story about the Trayvon Martin shooting included a clip of one of the sponsors of the Florida "Stand Your Ground" law. He was identified on-screen as "State Representative Dennis K. Baxley (R) Florida". On Wednesday's broadcast, Baxley was identified as "Representative Dennis Baxley (R) Ocala-Marion County, Florida". Why do the producers use two vastly different descriptions on consecutive days? Did it take them 24 hours to uncover his middle initial? No one at Nightly News cares.
***A story about the cause of Whitney Houston's death was just an excuse to show two minutes of non-stop Whitney Houston photos and video clips. This could have been reported in twenty seconds.
***An education report on student debt presented information that was credited (on the bottom of the screen) to "TICAS (The Institute of College Acces [sic] and Success)". Okay--first of all, the correct name of the organization is "The Institute For College Access and Success". It would have taken a Nightly News producer 15 seconds to use Google or log onto the TICAS website to get their correct name. But, of course, the most galling part of this SNAFU is that the producers misspelled "access" in a report about education. What kind of idiots work at Nightly News? Seriously--I'd like to know. I never see misspellings on The CBS Evening News. But, then again, CBS News is a professional news organization.
***A story on marriage in the U.S. included twenty seconds of clips from "Sex and the City" and "Runaway Bride" because obviously the Nightly News producers couldn't possibly explain the complicated marriage situation without help from a movie and a TV show. Well, what did we expect from a Chris Jansing story? Brian introduced the story by saying, "There's a new snapshot out tonight of the way WE Americans live and love...." Of course. The news is all about Brian.
***Brian took nearly 90 seconds to read obituaries for the inventor of the Mr. Coffee machine and the former president of Lender's Bagels. Funny thing--I didn't see these obits on CBS. I think we all know why. Scott Pelley is concerned with reporting news, not trying to make himself look cool by reporting pop culture garbage.
***Next, Brian spent 40 seconds telling us about a possible breakthrough in the search for a baldness cure. Edward R. Murrow, your legacy is safe.
***The final story of the night (from the idiotic Anne Thompson) was about repopulating bison herds in Montana. Oh now I understand why Nightly News did not report any stories about Iran, Iraq or Syria. It's because they had to tell us about bison. And Mr. Coffee, Lender's Bagels and a baldness cure. Makes perfect sense.
Fri. March 23--Joy-Ann Reid of TheGrio.com was featured twice in Trayvon Martin stories. Brian ended the second story by saying, "Our thanks to our friends Joy-Ann Reid and Savannah Guthrie for being here with us to talk about this tonight." I have never seen a news anchor as insecure as Brian Williams. It's sad how desperate he is to convince us that he is friends with every single Nightly News correspondent.
***After spending 2:37 on a story about Sgt. Robert Bales' massacre of Afghan civilians, Brian spent another 1:08 talking about the story with Col. Jack Jacobs. Jacobs had nothing of value to offer, but Brian likes having him around because of his stalker-like obsession with Medal of Honor winners.
***Nightly News wasted two-and-a-half minutes on yet another pointless story about military wives. They do these stories every few weeks as a way of appealing to the rah-rah gung-ho flag-waving Nascar demographic that Brian is so eager to pander to. Naturally, the story ended with a lingering shot of U.S. flags.
***Next, Brian spent 25 seconds telling us how some British MP's want to rename Big Ben in honor of Queen Elizabeth. This story was almost as exciting as Brian's Feb. 23 story about Slovaks who want to name a bridge in honor of Chuck Norris. I think it's obvious what's going on here. Brian is dropping lead-balloon hints that he wants something important to be named after him. How about a rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike?
***The broadcast ended with a 2:20 story about "The Hunger Games". What a surprise. Last Friday's broadcast also ended with a "Hunger Games" story. So let me make sure I understand what's going on here. Brian has 22 minutes each night to tell us all the important news going on across the country and around the world, and he wastes our time on garbage like this. Pandering to the viewers with entertainment stories instead of news should be illegal. The FCC should revoke NBC's right to air a newscast. Hell, the FCC should throw Brian in jail on the charge of failing to report news on a news broadcast. By the way, the "Hunger Games" soundtrack is being released on a Universal label, so promoting the film is also a way to promote the soundtrack for one of NBC's sister companies. Well done, Brian. This story was reported by Chris Jansing, proving once again that you don't really need any journalistic skill to work at Nightly News. Oh yeah--I almost forgot--the "Hunger Games" story included a gratuitous clip from one of the Harry Potter movies. Because if you're gonna pander to a specific demographic, why not go all the way?
***For six straight days, Nightly News has not reported a story on Iran, Iraq or Syria. But at least we know all about "The Hunger Games". Congratulations to Brian and his producers on another fine week of quality newscasts. And as far as reporting on the coup in Mali--don't be ridiculous. Nightly News only covers Africa when George Clooney goes there.
Sat. March 17--After several minutes of reports on the massacre of Afghan civilians by Sgt. Robert Bales, Lester Holt said, "Another big story we've been following today, the continuing late winter warming trend." So at Nightly News, warm weather in March carries the same news value as the killing of 17 innocent people. I'm surprised they didn't put the weather story first.
***Ron Mott ended his report about the GOP Illinois primary with a live shot where he was standing in front a huge American flag. It is comical how the Nightly News producers make a point of inserting a U.S. flag into every possible shot. Pander, pander, pander. That's the Nightly News motto.
***Hallelujah! Nightly News spent a minute reporting on Syria. This is the first Syria story they have done in a week. Obviously, Syria is not considered to be a "big story" like the warm weather in March.
***We were treated to 35 seconds of video of various St. Patrick's Day celebrations, including the obligatory shots of the Chicago River dyed green and the President drinking a pint of Guinness. It's not difficult to figure out why we were shown this story. Brian Williams is of Irish descent and every year he orders the Nightly News producers to do a story on St. Patrick's day--even when he's not anchoring.
***It had been a whopping 48 hours since Nightly News did a story about Kate Middleton, so we were treated to some footage of her visit to the British Army's Irish Guards on St. Patrick's Day. Can you believe that some news organizations actually spend more time reporting on Syria than on Kate Middleton? Obviously, Nightly News isn't one of them.
***A story about the harmful effects of sugary sodas was relegated to the lower-rated weekend broadcast. With fewer people watching, the negative impact on NBC sponsors like Coke and Pepsi was minimized. CBS News reported this story on the previous Monday because their producers are concerned with reporting news, not protecting their sponsors. The Nightly News story included a clip from "The Today Show", because promoting that show is one of the main goals of the producers.
***In the final segment, Lester spent 2:45 reporting on the 40th anniversary of "The Godfather". The Nightly News philosophy is to constantly show "news stories" about movies. By pandering to the viewers' thirst for entertainment stories, Brian and his producers maintain high ratings. (Let's not forget that one night earlier, Nightly News devoted two minutes of valuable news time to the hubbub surrounding the premier of "The Hunger Games".) And just for good measure, they included a clip from "The Sopranos" as well. Bravo. Well done.
Sun. March 18--There was no Nightly News this night because golf ran late. Obviously, golf is more important (meaning more profitable) than news to the NBC weasels.
Mon. March 19--The lead story was the weather. What a surprise. Brian spent 20 seconds of his intro talking about the weather in Chicago because one of his main jobs is pandering to the "good people of Chicago". Apparently, the NBC News research department has informed Brian that the Chicago ratings are crucial for Nightly News, so Brian always makes a point of talking about Chicago. There are important news stories going on all around the world and Nightly News leads with nearly four minutes on the weather. As if we need further evidence that Nightly News is a joke.
***Here's how Brian introduced a story about antibiotics: "There's health news tonight having to do with the most dire warnings yet on this growing problem of infections that are totally resistant to treatment with antibiotics." Along with the title "Overmedicated?", the story also was titled "Antibiotic Warning". This is just another Nightly News alarmist story designed to boost ratings by scaring viewers into watching. You can always identify one of these silly stories because the title contains a question mark. In the past five weeks, similar stories included "Hidden Dangers?" (of lipstick), "Warning Signs?" (of autism), "Hidden Risks?" (of dirty surgical instruments) and "Danger at Sea?" (cruise ships). Any Nightly News story title that includes a question mark in its title should not be taken seriously. Of course, most Nightly News stories should not be taken seriously anyway, but that's a separate issue. In this story, Nancy Snyderman also did her best to sound the alarmist trumpet with statements like, "...antibiotic resistance could mean the end of modern medicine." I expect this crap from Brian because he has no ethical compass, but Snyderman is a doctor and is supposed to report responsibly. Brian ended the story by calling it "a clear and present danger" because his lack of originality requires him to frequently use movie titles in lieu of actual thoughts.
***Brian told us that Patrick Cox of TaxMasters filed for bankruptcy. What? Who? Why is this news?
***He then took 45 seconds to report the death of Medal of Honor winner William Charette. Brian always reports the deaths of MOH winners because he serves on the MOH Foundation's Board of Directors. So he's promoting an organization with which he is affiliated--an organization that relies heavily on public contributions. Plugging the MOH Foundation is just a way for Brian to raise money for his organization. Sounds like an unethical conflict of interest. Funny thing--I don't see MOH deaths reported on any other network broadcast. But then again, the other news anchors are not fawning, obsequious, pretend-military-wannabes like Brian.
***Here's how Brian teased a story about the FAA's promise to reevaluate the use of personal electronic devices on planes: "Up next here tonight--is it possible WE'RE going to be allowed to leave a few things on during taxi, takeoff and landing?" And here's part of his narration for the story: "The FAA is gonna review what WE can use and what WE have to power down on planes during taxi, takeoff and landing." We, we, we. Because the news is always about Brian.
***The broadcast ended with a 2:10 story about Kate Middleton. Brian tries to put Kate on the broadcast as often as possible because she delivers good ratings. (In the second half of 2011, Nightly News reported 21 Kate stories, totalling more than 37 minutes.) Here's part of Michelle Kosinski's narration: "A fashion icon who does her own hair and makeup, buys inexpensive clothes--even second hand. Her dress today--borrowed from mom." This is what passes for news on Nightly News. Imagine--other networks are wasting time reporting stories about Iran, Iraq and Syria instead of Kate Middleton. They should be ashamed of themselves.
Tues. March 20--The lead story was the cancer-fighting properties of aspirin. This is only a slightly less ridiculous lead story than the weather. Obviously, the whole point of the story was to promote Bayer aspirin (Bayer is the most frequent advertiser on Nightly News, often running 3 or 4 commercials a night). And just in case we didn't get the Bayer connection, the producers showed an animation of an aspirin bottle that was yellow and brown--immediately recognizable as Bayer's colors. They even shaped the brown portion of the label in exactly the same way it is shaped on a Bayer bottle. Subtle.
***At the end of a story about a tornado in Texas, Brian told us that it was "85 degrees in Chicago today, by the way."
***Two-and-a-half minutes later, Brian began a story about the Illinois primary by saying, "In Illinois today, it's another summer-like day in March...." So in less than three minutes, Brian twice told us about the weather in Illinois. Keep pandering to those Illinois viewers, big guy! Then, with his usual waving flag animation behind him, Brian introduced Peter Alexander, who was standing with a gigantic U.S. flag waving behind him. Two flags waving on screen at once! More pandering. Why doesn't Alexander just wrap a flag around himself like a toga?
***In that same story, Brian told us that Peter Alexander was in Schaumburg, Illinois. But an on-screen graphic told us that he was in "Ft. Leavenworth, KS" and Alexander himself said, "Brian, good evening to you from Chicago." So where was he? Schaumburg? Ft. Leavenworth? Chicago? That's three different locations we were given. Are we supposed to guess? I thought Matt Lauer was the "Where in the world is he" guy.
***As Brian introduced the next story about women's reproductive rights, he still had the waving flag animation behind him. So Brian is trying to turn women's rights into some sort of faux-patriotic issue? Pathetic. Also in this story, a shot of Rick Santorum standing in front of a huge U.S. flag was superimposed over a U.S. flag animation. Doubly pathetic. I think that if Betsy Ross was alive today, she'd tell Brian Williams, "Knock off the flag bullshit, asshole. You've even made me sick of the flag." Also during this story, a clip from "Andrea Mitchell Reports" included comments from Eva Longoria, because showing celebrities is what Nightly News is all about. And like the 5/18/10 Nightly News "Making A Difference" profile of Longoria, there was no mention made of her work on "Desperate Housewives" because Nightly News has a policy of not mentioning shows on rival networks.
***A story about the shooting death of Trayvon Martin ended with Brian reading a promo for Martin's parents' appearance on Wednesday's "Today Show". Because Nightly News is really just a vehicle to promote NBC's entertainment shows.
***Here's the next story Brian read: "Big news in the fast-food community tonight--there's been a change near the top--Wendy's has bumped Burger King from the #2 spot, edging out Burger King in sales for the first time since Wendy's was founded by Dave Thomas back in 1969. McDonald's, though, trumps both and by a big margin." As he read this, there was a huge Wendy's logo over his left shoulder, soon followed by the logos of all three restaurants. Brian is the only news anchor who regularly reports on the goings-on in the fast food industry. One reason he does this is to pander to the blue-collar viewers who eat at those places. But the main reason is to give free ad space to regular Nightly News advertisers. Brian is a de facto spokesman for McDonald's--he often reads press releases for them--seemingly verbatim. "big news in the fast-food community" isn't really news at all, except on Nightly News.
***Next, we saw a 45-second story about Queen Elizabeth's speech on the occasion of her Diamond Jubilee. I guess on those days when Kate Middleton isn't making any public appearances, the Queen will have to do.
***Michelle Obama is another suitable substitute for Kate. With no Kate news to report, Brian spent 45 seconds telling us about Mrs. Obama's appearance on David Letterman's show talking about her incognito shopping trips to Target. Maybe the producers should have used a "breaking news" banner for that one.
***Brian then took 25 seconds to tell us about some Medal of Honor winners who rang the closing bell at the NYSE. Again, this isn't news on any other network, but every time a MOH winner coughs, Brian reports it. He called them "heroes in the balcony". Is that anything like a fawning sycophant in the anchor's chair?
***The final story was another report about the search for Amelia Earhart. This was basically the same story Nightly News reported on 12/18/10. But Brian knows that the viewers' memories are short so he repeats stories over and over and over again. It reminds me of the Ani DiFranco lyric (from "Little Plastic Castle"): "They say goldfish have no memory/I guess their lives are much like mine/And the little plastic castle is a surprise every time/And it's hard to say if they're happy/But they don't seem much to mind." That sounds about right--as far as Brian is concerned we're nothing more than goldfish. This story was reported by the banal Chris Jansing, who is quickly emerging as a rival to Anne Thompson in the category of reporting pointless stories with no news value.
***In Iraq, more than 50 people were killed Tuesday in terrorist attacks meant to protest the upcoming Arab League Summit in Baghdad. Brian completely ignored this story, but at least we know all about the weather in Chicago and Michelle Obama's shopping trips to Target. Great work, Brian.
Wed. March 21--The lead story on the shooting of Trayvon Martin included a 22-second clip of his parents on "The Today Show". It's shameful (but not surprising) that Brian is using this young boy's death to promote NBC's morning program.
***In the same story, a video clip of a witness describing what he saw was attributed (in a Nightly News graphic) to the "Orlando Sentinal [sic]". It's appalling that the Nightly News producers cannot manage to correctly spell the name of the Orlando Sentinel. Have they ever heard of Google or Wikipedia?
***A follow-up to the Trayvon Martin story included a banner ad for TheGrio.com (owned by NBC) because the producers apparently have no qualms about using Trayvon's death to promote an NBC website.
***A story about the Republican presidential race included another clip of Donald Trump in order to promote "Celebrity Apprentice".
***Brian began a story about allergies by saying, "We have been reporting for days on end about the freakish warm weather that has enveloped so much of the country very early in the season--like 85 degrees in Chicago." Once again, Brian found a way to insert Chicago into a story. What a surprise. One night, I'd like to see Brian mention Chicago during every Nightly News story. And he even brags about the fact that Nightly News has spent days reporting on what is essentially a silly non-story. I guess he's proud of his poor choices as managing editor. The idiotic Chris Jansing then went on to report about the bad allergy season in Atlanta. There was something familiar about this story...oh yeah, now I remember. Five weeks ago (on 2/14/12) the equally idiotic Anne Thompson did a report on...the bad allergy season in Atlanta. Jansing's report even incorporated previously-used footage from Thompson's report, but of course the Nightly News producers never indicated that the footage was old. Thompson's original story was pointless, so doing a rerun of a pointless story is...what? Doubly pointless? Pointless squared? And what a sad commentary on Jansing's status at Nightly News. She gets to rehash old Anne Thompson stories. That's sort of like the third-string player who every couple of games is given a few minutes of garbage time.
***Next, Brian took 1:44 to tell us about the suspension of New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton for allowing his players to put a bounty on opposing players. Brian uses any excuse to cover the NFL on Nightly News because it's a great way to promote Sunday Night Football--NBC's highest-rated show. In his intro, Brian described the Saints as "one of the great and storied football teams of all of football" and "a legendary team". What idiotic things to say. It's a football team, you moron, not the Supreme Court.
***After that, Brian spent 20 seconds telling us that Sen. Barbara Mikulski has become the longest-serving woman in Congressional history. I wonder why that sounds familiar. Now I remember--Lester Holt already reported this story on Saturday--the actual day Sen. Mikulski became Congress's longest-serving female member. Brian frequently re-reports Lester's stories because a story isn't official unless it's reported by Brian himself.
***Brian then told us about the cast of "Mad Men" ringing the opening bell on Wall Street. This was really just a promo for Brian's "Mad Men" story that would be airing later that night on the barely-watched "Rock Center".
***The broadcast ended with Kevin Tibbles' ridiculous story about the residents of a Wisconsin town who have been hearing unexplained loud booms. The story included an 18-second clip from the movie "Tremors" because ultimately, Nightly News is an entertainment show. I think we can add Tibbles' name to the "pointless roster" that already includes Anne Thompson and Chris Jansing. Brian introduced this story by saying, "Finally tonight, a story about a nice place they're calling a 'boom town' jokingly...the good people in one town in Wisconsin would right now give anything to find out what's making that noise...." For Brian, one town's misfortune is just an opportunity to pander to the "good people" who live there in the hope of getting them to become Nightly News viewers.
Thurs. March 22--A story about the Trayvon Martin shooting included commentary from Joy-Ann Reid, managing editor of TheGrio.com. First and foremost, it is the responsibility of the Nightly News producers to use their broadcast to plug other NBC properties.
***A follow-up story about the Trayvon Martin shooting included a clip of one of the sponsors of the Florida "Stand Your Ground" law. He was identified on-screen as "State Representative Dennis K. Baxley (R) Florida". On Wednesday's broadcast, Baxley was identified as "Representative Dennis Baxley (R) Ocala-Marion County, Florida". Why do the producers use two vastly different descriptions on consecutive days? Did it take them 24 hours to uncover his middle initial? No one at Nightly News cares.
***A story about the cause of Whitney Houston's death was just an excuse to show two minutes of non-stop Whitney Houston photos and video clips. This could have been reported in twenty seconds.
***An education report on student debt presented information that was credited (on the bottom of the screen) to "TICAS (The Institute of College Acces [sic] and Success)". Okay--first of all, the correct name of the organization is "The Institute For College Access and Success". It would have taken a Nightly News producer 15 seconds to use Google or log onto the TICAS website to get their correct name. But, of course, the most galling part of this SNAFU is that the producers misspelled "access" in a report about education. What kind of idiots work at Nightly News? Seriously--I'd like to know. I never see misspellings on The CBS Evening News. But, then again, CBS News is a professional news organization.
***A story on marriage in the U.S. included twenty seconds of clips from "Sex and the City" and "Runaway Bride" because obviously the Nightly News producers couldn't possibly explain the complicated marriage situation without help from a movie and a TV show. Well, what did we expect from a Chris Jansing story? Brian introduced the story by saying, "There's a new snapshot out tonight of the way WE Americans live and love...." Of course. The news is all about Brian.
***Brian took nearly 90 seconds to read obituaries for the inventor of the Mr. Coffee machine and the former president of Lender's Bagels. Funny thing--I didn't see these obits on CBS. I think we all know why. Scott Pelley is concerned with reporting news, not trying to make himself look cool by reporting pop culture garbage.
***Next, Brian spent 40 seconds telling us about a possible breakthrough in the search for a baldness cure. Edward R. Murrow, your legacy is safe.
***The final story of the night (from the idiotic Anne Thompson) was about repopulating bison herds in Montana. Oh now I understand why Nightly News did not report any stories about Iran, Iraq or Syria. It's because they had to tell us about bison. And Mr. Coffee, Lender's Bagels and a baldness cure. Makes perfect sense.
Fri. March 23--Joy-Ann Reid of TheGrio.com was featured twice in Trayvon Martin stories. Brian ended the second story by saying, "Our thanks to our friends Joy-Ann Reid and Savannah Guthrie for being here with us to talk about this tonight." I have never seen a news anchor as insecure as Brian Williams. It's sad how desperate he is to convince us that he is friends with every single Nightly News correspondent.
***After spending 2:37 on a story about Sgt. Robert Bales' massacre of Afghan civilians, Brian spent another 1:08 talking about the story with Col. Jack Jacobs. Jacobs had nothing of value to offer, but Brian likes having him around because of his stalker-like obsession with Medal of Honor winners.
***Nightly News wasted two-and-a-half minutes on yet another pointless story about military wives. They do these stories every few weeks as a way of appealing to the rah-rah gung-ho flag-waving Nascar demographic that Brian is so eager to pander to. Naturally, the story ended with a lingering shot of U.S. flags.
***Next, Brian spent 25 seconds telling us how some British MP's want to rename Big Ben in honor of Queen Elizabeth. This story was almost as exciting as Brian's Feb. 23 story about Slovaks who want to name a bridge in honor of Chuck Norris. I think it's obvious what's going on here. Brian is dropping lead-balloon hints that he wants something important to be named after him. How about a rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike?
***The broadcast ended with a 2:20 story about "The Hunger Games". What a surprise. Last Friday's broadcast also ended with a "Hunger Games" story. So let me make sure I understand what's going on here. Brian has 22 minutes each night to tell us all the important news going on across the country and around the world, and he wastes our time on garbage like this. Pandering to the viewers with entertainment stories instead of news should be illegal. The FCC should revoke NBC's right to air a newscast. Hell, the FCC should throw Brian in jail on the charge of failing to report news on a news broadcast. By the way, the "Hunger Games" soundtrack is being released on a Universal label, so promoting the film is also a way to promote the soundtrack for one of NBC's sister companies. Well done, Brian. This story was reported by Chris Jansing, proving once again that you don't really need any journalistic skill to work at Nightly News. Oh yeah--I almost forgot--the "Hunger Games" story included a gratuitous clip from one of the Harry Potter movies. Because if you're gonna pander to a specific demographic, why not go all the way?
***For six straight days, Nightly News has not reported a story on Iran, Iraq or Syria. But at least we know all about "The Hunger Games". Congratulations to Brian and his producers on another fine week of quality newscasts. And as far as reporting on the coup in Mali--don't be ridiculous. Nightly News only covers Africa when George Clooney goes there.
Monday, March 19, 2012
"Rock Center With Brian Williams" Is The Lowest-Rated Show Ever In NBC History!
This article appeared on the March 15 nytimes.com site as part of its "Media Decoder" column (http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/15/nbc-news-stays-on-top-while-its-newsmagazine-struggles/). It needs no further commentary or embellishment (thanks to Twitter user @lcb998502 for bringing it to my attention):
NBC News Stays on Top, While Its Newsmagazine Struggles
by BILL CARTER
"NBC News celebrated its status as the top news division in television with a presentation for advertisers Thursday in New York, led by Brian Williams, the anchor of its top-rated evening newscast.
But NBC News and Mr. Williams have little to celebrate in the performance of the newsmagazine introduced earlier this season, 'Rock Center With Brian Williams.'
The program’s weak ratings took a turn for the worse Wednesday night, when its latest edition attracted only 2.6 million viewers, its lowest result so far. The newsmagazine was the least-watched show on network television last night (other than a repeat of NBC’s 'Law and Order S.V.U.').
Worse than that, 'Rock Center' fell behind entries on nonbroadcast outlets, like Bill O’Reilly’s show on Fox News, which had 2.9 million viewers, and an array of offerings from Univision, including 'Una Familia Con Suerte' (4 million), 'La Que No Podía Amar' (3.9 million) and 'Abismo de Pasión' (3.5 million). Other cable offerings with more viewers on Wednesday included two repeats of 'NCIS' on USA and two repeats of 'The Big Bang Theory' on TBS.
NBC has moved 'Rock Center' multiple times since its first broadcast on Oct. 31. It is now on Wednesdays at 10, which gets its away from the ferocious competition of 'Modern Family' on ABC, 'American Idol' on Fox and 'Criminal Minds' on CBS.
But the show will move back to 9 p.m. in five weeks. At 10 p.m. Wednesday night, 'Rock Center' was a distant third behind 'C.S.I.' on CBS, which had 11.5 million viewers, and an ABC special, 'Revenge for Real,' which had 4.4 million."
Okay--I can't resist one comment: NBC could boost "Rock Center's" ratings by moving it to the ShopNBC channel and renaming it "Shop Center With Brian Williams & Suzanne Somers".
NBC News Stays on Top, While Its Newsmagazine Struggles
by BILL CARTER
"NBC News celebrated its status as the top news division in television with a presentation for advertisers Thursday in New York, led by Brian Williams, the anchor of its top-rated evening newscast.
But NBC News and Mr. Williams have little to celebrate in the performance of the newsmagazine introduced earlier this season, 'Rock Center With Brian Williams.'
The program’s weak ratings took a turn for the worse Wednesday night, when its latest edition attracted only 2.6 million viewers, its lowest result so far. The newsmagazine was the least-watched show on network television last night (other than a repeat of NBC’s 'Law and Order S.V.U.').
Worse than that, 'Rock Center' fell behind entries on nonbroadcast outlets, like Bill O’Reilly’s show on Fox News, which had 2.9 million viewers, and an array of offerings from Univision, including 'Una Familia Con Suerte' (4 million), 'La Que No Podía Amar' (3.9 million) and 'Abismo de Pasión' (3.5 million). Other cable offerings with more viewers on Wednesday included two repeats of 'NCIS' on USA and two repeats of 'The Big Bang Theory' on TBS.
NBC has moved 'Rock Center' multiple times since its first broadcast on Oct. 31. It is now on Wednesdays at 10, which gets its away from the ferocious competition of 'Modern Family' on ABC, 'American Idol' on Fox and 'Criminal Minds' on CBS.
But the show will move back to 9 p.m. in five weeks. At 10 p.m. Wednesday night, 'Rock Center' was a distant third behind 'C.S.I.' on CBS, which had 11.5 million viewers, and an ABC special, 'Revenge for Real,' which had 4.4 million."
Okay--I can't resist one comment: NBC could boost "Rock Center's" ratings by moving it to the ShopNBC channel and renaming it "Shop Center With Brian Williams & Suzanne Somers".
Friday, March 16, 2012
NBC Nightly News Show Notes--3/10/12 Through 3/16/12 (Revised--Full Week)
On Tuesday (3/13), The New York Times reported that the Indian government "authorized a drug manufacturer to make and sell a generic copy of a Bayer cancer drug, saying that Bayer charged a price that was unaffordable to most of the nation. The decision by the controller general of patents, designs and trademarks was the first time a so-called compulsory license of a patented drug had been granted in India." Bayer had been selling the drug, Nexavar (also known as sorafenib), for approximately $5,600 a month. The generic will sell for approximately $176 a month. Because of the high price of the Bayer drug, fewer than 200 Indians currently use it. (Read the full Times story at http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/13/business/global/india-overrules-bayer-allowing-generic-drug.html) In other words, the sleazebags at Bayer were charging so much for this drug that the Indian government had to step in and order them to allow a cheaper version to be made. Nightly News likes to report on drug companies, but I guarantee that you won't see this story on Nightly News. Bayer is the single most frequent advertiser on Nightly News, usually running three or four ads each night for their various products. Brian Williams and his producers have made it one of their goals to protect their buddies at Bayer. In fact, Nightly News loves to run fawning, glowing stories about Bayer products. For this job, they usually enlist Nightly News's Chief Science Shill, Robert Bazell. On 10/27/11, the lead Nightly News story was Bazell's report about the heart benefits of aspirin. However, the story featured shots of only one national brand--Bayer. It also featured shots of some old-time Bayer print ads and a clip from a current Bayer TV commercial. This was just a shameless product placement for Bayer. Ten months earlier, on the 12/6/10 Nightly News, Bazell had reported the exact same story about aspirin's health benefits, and in that story Bayer was also the only brand shown (along with clips from Bayer ads). And on 6/8/10, Bazell did a story about the health benefits of Naproxen, known in the U.S. as Aleve (made by Bayer). Obviously, these stories were produced as a way of thanking Bayer for all the ad dollars they have spent with Nightly News and other NBC shows over the years. Unless there was a more weaselly motive. These "news stories" may have been purchased by Bayer as part of a Nightly News ad package. For several million dollars, they can get not only a certain number of commercials, but they can also get a news story that highlights the benefits of their product or products. It would not surprise me at all to learn that the Nightly News ad sales people were conspiring with the news producers to create favorable "news stories" for the broadcast's best advertisers. Well done, Nightly News producers.
Here are some of the other great things that happened on Nightly News this week:
Sat. March 10--Nightly News spent 1:20 reporting on Syria. It would be the last story on Syria they do for an entire week.
***A story about the new movie "Bully" (about kids who bully other kids) included a clip from "Ellen" because it's the responsibility of the Nightly News producers to use their broadcast to promote NBC entertainment shows.
***Lester Holt spent 30 seconds telling us about Prince Harry's trip to Rio de Janeiro. Stories about Will, Kate and Harry always generate high ratings, so the producers constantly include the Royals on Nightly News.
***Next, we got a two minute story about a 340-ton boulder being transported through L.A. en route to a museum. Yeah, we know all about it because Brian Williams already spent 30 seconds telling us about the boulder on Friday. Why do we need another two minutes on this silly, pointless story? Because Nightly News specializes in silly, pointless stories, that's why.
***The broadcast ended with a 2:40 story about "pop-up libraries". What do you know--another silly, pointless story. What a surprise.
Sun. March 11--The big news story of the day was the U.S. Army sergeant who massacred 16 Afghan civilians. But Nightly News viewers wouldn't know anything about the story because there was no Nightly News this night (on the east coast, anyway). Obviously, golf was more important than news to the NBC programming weasels.
Mon. March 12--Brian anchored the broadcast from London. I guess he and his wife took a weekend trip there and decided to stay an extra day.
***I can't say this often enough--I love Pete Williams! As Brian introduced Pete's story about voter ID laws, he said, "Good evening, Pete," because it's important to Brian to try to bamboozle the viewers into believing that he is good friends with all the Nightly News correspondents. As usual, Pete would have none of that. Instead of responding with a treacly, "Good evening, Brian," he ignored him and went right into his story. I guess Pete doesn't like Brian very much. Can you blame him?
***Brian spent 40 seconds telling us about the record high temperatures across the country. I'm pretty sure that everyone noticed this without Brian telling us. I think that as a kid, Brian desperately wanted to be a meteorologist because he pretends to be one every night on Nightly News.
***We saw yet another story about Ugandan warlord Joseph Kony--the third Kony story in five days. Obviously, the NBC News research department has informed Brian and his producers that Kony stories generate high ratings. It's good that Nightly News is reporting on this brutal warlord, but the real question is: Why did Nightly News ignore the story for so long? Kony has been terrorizing Ugandans for 25 years, but Nightly News only reported on it after the "Kony 2012" internet film went viral--which again proves the point that Brian doesn't consider something to be newsworthy unless it's first shown in a film, a TV show or a viral video.
***Brian introduced the next story about Venus and Jupiter by saying, "The night sky has been in the news a lot lately...." Yeah--if you watch Nightly News. Brian constantly reports on astronomy-related stories because they're of great interest to HIM (that includes the half-dozen stories Nightly News has reported about the Northern Lights). And let's face it--the news is about what Brian likes. This stuff isn't news on any other network. But as we all know, Brian can do whatever the hell he wants.
***Brian took a break from his obsessive chronicling of JFK (thirteen stories or mentions in less than two months) to spend 2:10 telling us about Richard Nixon's love letters to his wife Pat. Of all the U.S. presidents, I imagine that Brian is most like Nixon--controlling, paranoid, obsessive, secretive, narcissistic. Brian always brags about being a Presidential history buff, so when he wants to do a story on a former president, who's gonna stop him? It seems that Brian is a self-professed buff on a lot of subjects--astronomy, the weather, NASA, the Supreme Court, Nascar, British Royalty. If he were any more buff-y, he could be a vampire slayer.
***Did I just mention British Royalty? What a coincidence. The broadcast ended on that exact subject. First, we saw some footage of Prince Harry frolicking in the Bahamas, followed by shots of the Kate and the Queen on her 60th anniversary Jubilee tour, which then became a story about London preparing for this summer's Olympics. Which will be carried by NBC. So Brian and his producers are using Harry and Kate as a shameless way to promote their Olympic coverage. Nice.
***On Monday's CBS Evening News, they aired a story about a new study highlighting the relationship between sugary sodas and heart attacks. Nightly News often does stories about factors that increase the risk of heart attacks, but they didn't report this story. They wouldn't dare anger their sponsors like Coke, Sprite, Mug Root Beer, 7-Up, Mountain Dew, Orange Crush and Schweppes. CBS, of course, showed all those brands (some more than once) because Scott Pelley's main responsibility is to report news, not to protect his sponsors. [Editor's note: Nightly News did eventually report this story five days after the CBS story ran (3/17) and their story included some clips of brand-name sodas. However, by delaying this story until Saturday, the producers ensured that it would be seen by far fewer viewers than would have seen it on a weekday. That's another way to protect your sponsors. Also, the Nightly News story included a strong statement of dissent from the weasels at the American Beverage Association.]
Tues. March 13--Someone needs to have a serious talk with Kelly O'Donnell. In her live shots from Lafayette, Louisiana which began and ended a story about Romney and Santorum, she was standing in an empty indoor rally site without a U.S. flag visible. This is heresy at Nightly News. Every NBC News reporter covering politics is required by network rules to have a flag visible over his or her shoulder at all times. No exceptions. What was O'Donnell thinking? Does she know she could get fired for failing to have a flag in the shot? Hopefully she was able to keep her job and got off with only a warning. Although come to think of it, I didn't see her again this week, so I can't say for sure what happened to her.
***Pete Williams did another story about voter ID laws, but it didn't include any live commentary. Brian probably insisted that Pete not appear live in the story because that would solve the prickly problem of Pete dissing him by not saying. "Good evening, Brian".
***Once again, Brian took some time to tell us about the "Spring Fever" temperatures across the country. My favorite part of the story was when Brian said, "Tomorrow might be a good day to skip work or school." That's right--you heard correctly. Big shot anchor Brian Williams just encouraged kids to skip school. Maybe the producers should let Brian do an entire "Education Nation" story on the fine art of playing hooky. How on earth does he get away with saying these stupid things? Isn't there anyone at NBC News who can just tell him to keep his big mouth shut? I wonder how many kids actually skipped school because "Uncle Brian said it was okay."
***Brian then spent 25 seconds showing us a clip from a Univision story filmed at the White House because Bo (the Obamas' dog) ran across the grass behind the reporter. What a great use of news time. I wonder if Brian's producers were having a laugh at his expense, since Univision shows regularly beat "Rock Center" in the ratings.
***The final story was a "Making A Difference" piece about a 100-year-old woman who still teaches kindergarten and reading in Chicago. Less than a month ago (Feb. 18), Nightly News did a story about a 105-year-old woman who works in a hospital mail room. I guess Brian is channeling Willard Scott. If you're 100, he'll put you on the air. Can someone please explain how either of these stories qualifies as news? Meanwhile, on this night, Nightly News did not even bother reporting on Syria. But we know all about the 100-year-old teacher and Bo's on-camera romp at the White House. Great job, Nightly News producers. Keep up the good work.
Wed. March 14--Two stories (totalling four minutes) about the meeting between president Obama and Prime Minister David Cameron were just excuses to show more clips from Brian's interview with Cameron, which in turn led to Brian's 20-second promo begging viewers to watch the full interview on that night's "Rock Center". But the most hilarious thing about Brian's shameless "Rock Center" plug was that there was a waving flag animation behind him as he read it! We all know that Brian insists on having a waving flag behind him when he introduces stories about politics, war, NASA or any other pseudo-patriotic subject matter. It's a cheap way to pander to the viewers and boost his ratings. But now it seems that he's also insisting on having the waving flag behind him when he reads "Rock Center" promos. How are we supposed to interpret this? Is "Rock Center" the most patriotic show on television? Is Brian the most patriotic news anchor? Is it somehow patriotic of him to plug an NBC prime time show (and their lowest-rated show, at that)? Does Brian understand that all his waving flags make him something of a laughing stock in the news biz? He probably doesn't care, since ratings are the only thing he really cares about.
***Brian then showed us thirty seconds of video of the cherry blossoms in Washington, D.C. I thought I was watching one of those new-age meditation videos that help you relax by showing flowers, trees, grass and other pleasing flora. I expected Brian to say, "Close your eyes and breathe. Breathe in, breathe out. Again. Good."
***Time for another story on climate change. Nightly News shows the same basic story (with the same lame video accompaniment) every couple of weeks. As usual, it was reported by the idiotic Anne Thompson who repeated the same things she always says in these stories. One of the ways the Nightly News producers maintain their audience is by scaring viewers into thinking something catastrophic will happen (see all the stories about falling space junk). In this story, about the possibility of coastal flooding due to global warming, the producers once again dragged out their old animation of what it would look like if the New York City subway system flooded. Horrors! I got news for the producers--the NYC subway system is already flooded. Between the urine puddles and spilled beverages, it's impossible to find a dry patch in any of the subway stations. But maybe there's an upside to the possibility of New York being underwater--I certainly wouldn't be upset if Anne Thompson was swept out to sea. And in case anyone is worried about Brian Williams being carried away by coastal flooding, put your mind at ease. He commutes from his Park Avenue penthouse apartment to NBC News's 30 Rock studios by private helicopter, so he's in no danger.
***Brian then had to take 30 seconds to report the results of this year's Iditarod race, because there were probably a lot of viewers who were wondering about that. Obviously, it was just an excuse for Brian to say, "And let's not forget to give credit to those very good indefatigable dogs." Funny how every dog on the planet is a "good dog" to Brian. I guess he's pandering to the canine viewing demographic.
***The broadcast ended with another one of those fawning, obsequious, rah-rah, gung-ho, God-bless-America patriotic stories about Americans welcoming home their brave hero soldiers. This particular story was about people who welcome soldiers home from Iraq and Afghanistan at the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport. It was filled with non-stop images of waving flags and red-white-and-blue festooned people (I counted at least a dozen flag shots). Nightly News does these stories over and over again. The last one, on Jan. 28, was titled "Heroes' Welcome", and was about a couple of guys from St. Louis who decided to throw a ticker tape parade for soldiers returning from Iraq. These are the most sickening and most base type of pandering stories in the Nightly News arsenal. Like most Nightly News stories, they are designed to appeal to the viewers' eagle-soaring, flag-waving, I-love-the-USA sense of patriotism. They aren't news stories--they're just excuses for the producers to show waving flags and people talking about how much they love the good old U.S of A. American Flags appear in almost every shot during these stories, and of course the obligatory waving animated flag appears behind Brian as he introduces the story (in the 1/28 story, it was Kate Snow with the waving flag behind her). The producers should be ashamed of themselves for showing this garbage. But, of course, they're not. Why would they be? Brian and his producers have appointed themselves as the propaganda arm of the U.S. military. Their job is to glorify the U.S. Armed Forces, not to report on them. And they get great ratings by desperately trying to show that Nightly News loves this country more than any other network news broadcast. It is truly nauseating (but hardly surprising) that the producers stoop to this level of pandering.
Thurs. March 15--After Jim Miklaszewski reported from U.S. Armed Forces Central Command Headquarters about Sgt. Robert Bales' massacre of Afghan civilians, Brian said, "Jim Miklaszewski at CENTCOM headquarters in Tampa tonight." It's hilarious and pathetic that Brian is so desperate to impress viewers by using what he thinks is cool military jargon. He just loves playing soldier, like we all did when we were kids.
***Brian continued to milk his nearly-week-old interview with British PM David Cameron by showing us yet more of their "conversation". The story included a ridiculous fifteen-second shot (with no audio) of Brian and Cameron walking up a staircase at 10 Downing Street while engaging in some supposedly intense discussion. Apparently, this was meant to convince us that they are pals. Someone should have informed the Prime Minister that Brian Williams is considered a lightweight in American journalism circles. The story again carried the "Rock Center" logo in the lower right corner because that anemic show needs all the promotional help it can get. Note to Brian: Interviews, like fish, spoil after a few days.
***Brian then took 30 seconds to tell us about the White House state dinner in Cameron's honor. So who do you suppose Brian chose to show arriving at the dinner? Heads of state? Philanthropists? Religious leaders? No. He showed George Clooney and Elizabeth McGovern. Clooney was an obvious choice--Brian makes it a point of showing Clooney on Nightly News several times a week because it helps the ratings. And as for McGovern--well, she's on a popular PBS series ("Downton Abbey"), so Brian is trying to pander to the upscale PBS audience. Oh, and by the way, "Downton Abbey" is produced by a company that's owned by NBC Universal, so Brian was also plugging an NBC property. Well done.
***Later, Brian took 30 seconds to show Kate Middleton playing field hockey to promote this summer's London Olympics. Kate promoting the Olympics? OMG! Brian must have surely had a sexual experience in his pants.
***It had been 24 hours since the last story about warm temperatures, so Brian took a minute to tell us about them. It included more footage of the Washington, D.C. cherry blossoms, which we had just seen on the previous day's broadcast. I guess cherry blossoms are the new Northern Lights.
***The final story was about a man who paints ski trail maps for ski resorts. Yes, I can certainly understand why Brian chose to devote two-and-a-half minutes of his newscast to this important story.
Fri. March 16--Stop the presses! George Clooney was arrested. So Brian spent 2:40 reporting it. Over at CBS, Scott Pelley gave this story 22 seconds near end of the broadcast, because he understood that that's all it really deserved. What is wrong with Scott Pelley? He didn't even show us any footage of the cherry blossoms. Naturally, the Nightly News report included old footage of an interview Brian did with Clooney, as well as old footage of Ann Curry tagging along with Clooney as she exploited one of his visits to Darfur. Because at Nightly News, the producers' favorite subject to report on is Nightly News.
***Brian took 25 seconds to tell us the important story that one in three adult children have moved back home with their parents.
***Speaking of important stories, he also told us about an Austrian sky diver preparing for a jump from 120,000 feet.
***Did you know that Peyton Manning may get a $90 million deal from the Denver Broncos? You do now. Brian always reports football stories as a way to promote Sunday Night Football on NBC.
***The final story was a two-minute piece about the new movie "Hunger Games". Why bother with news when you can attract lots more viewers by showing entertainment stories? I wonder how much Lionsgate Films paid NBC to run this two-minute movie trailer. Oh, and by the way--the "Hunger Games" soundtrack is being released on Universal Republic Music (owned by Universal), a sister company of NBC. So doing a story on "Hunger Games" is also a great way to promote the soundtrack for Universal. So let's recap: Nightly News hasn't done a story on Syria in six days, but at least we know all about George Clooney's arrest, the Austrian sky diver, Peyton Manning and "Hunger Games". Great job, Brian.
Here are some of the other great things that happened on Nightly News this week:
Sat. March 10--Nightly News spent 1:20 reporting on Syria. It would be the last story on Syria they do for an entire week.
***A story about the new movie "Bully" (about kids who bully other kids) included a clip from "Ellen" because it's the responsibility of the Nightly News producers to use their broadcast to promote NBC entertainment shows.
***Lester Holt spent 30 seconds telling us about Prince Harry's trip to Rio de Janeiro. Stories about Will, Kate and Harry always generate high ratings, so the producers constantly include the Royals on Nightly News.
***Next, we got a two minute story about a 340-ton boulder being transported through L.A. en route to a museum. Yeah, we know all about it because Brian Williams already spent 30 seconds telling us about the boulder on Friday. Why do we need another two minutes on this silly, pointless story? Because Nightly News specializes in silly, pointless stories, that's why.
***The broadcast ended with a 2:40 story about "pop-up libraries". What do you know--another silly, pointless story. What a surprise.
Sun. March 11--The big news story of the day was the U.S. Army sergeant who massacred 16 Afghan civilians. But Nightly News viewers wouldn't know anything about the story because there was no Nightly News this night (on the east coast, anyway). Obviously, golf was more important than news to the NBC programming weasels.
Mon. March 12--Brian anchored the broadcast from London. I guess he and his wife took a weekend trip there and decided to stay an extra day.
***I can't say this often enough--I love Pete Williams! As Brian introduced Pete's story about voter ID laws, he said, "Good evening, Pete," because it's important to Brian to try to bamboozle the viewers into believing that he is good friends with all the Nightly News correspondents. As usual, Pete would have none of that. Instead of responding with a treacly, "Good evening, Brian," he ignored him and went right into his story. I guess Pete doesn't like Brian very much. Can you blame him?
***Brian spent 40 seconds telling us about the record high temperatures across the country. I'm pretty sure that everyone noticed this without Brian telling us. I think that as a kid, Brian desperately wanted to be a meteorologist because he pretends to be one every night on Nightly News.
***We saw yet another story about Ugandan warlord Joseph Kony--the third Kony story in five days. Obviously, the NBC News research department has informed Brian and his producers that Kony stories generate high ratings. It's good that Nightly News is reporting on this brutal warlord, but the real question is: Why did Nightly News ignore the story for so long? Kony has been terrorizing Ugandans for 25 years, but Nightly News only reported on it after the "Kony 2012" internet film went viral--which again proves the point that Brian doesn't consider something to be newsworthy unless it's first shown in a film, a TV show or a viral video.
***Brian introduced the next story about Venus and Jupiter by saying, "The night sky has been in the news a lot lately...." Yeah--if you watch Nightly News. Brian constantly reports on astronomy-related stories because they're of great interest to HIM (that includes the half-dozen stories Nightly News has reported about the Northern Lights). And let's face it--the news is about what Brian likes. This stuff isn't news on any other network. But as we all know, Brian can do whatever the hell he wants.
***Brian took a break from his obsessive chronicling of JFK (thirteen stories or mentions in less than two months) to spend 2:10 telling us about Richard Nixon's love letters to his wife Pat. Of all the U.S. presidents, I imagine that Brian is most like Nixon--controlling, paranoid, obsessive, secretive, narcissistic. Brian always brags about being a Presidential history buff, so when he wants to do a story on a former president, who's gonna stop him? It seems that Brian is a self-professed buff on a lot of subjects--astronomy, the weather, NASA, the Supreme Court, Nascar, British Royalty. If he were any more buff-y, he could be a vampire slayer.
***Did I just mention British Royalty? What a coincidence. The broadcast ended on that exact subject. First, we saw some footage of Prince Harry frolicking in the Bahamas, followed by shots of the Kate and the Queen on her 60th anniversary Jubilee tour, which then became a story about London preparing for this summer's Olympics. Which will be carried by NBC. So Brian and his producers are using Harry and Kate as a shameless way to promote their Olympic coverage. Nice.
***On Monday's CBS Evening News, they aired a story about a new study highlighting the relationship between sugary sodas and heart attacks. Nightly News often does stories about factors that increase the risk of heart attacks, but they didn't report this story. They wouldn't dare anger their sponsors like Coke, Sprite, Mug Root Beer, 7-Up, Mountain Dew, Orange Crush and Schweppes. CBS, of course, showed all those brands (some more than once) because Scott Pelley's main responsibility is to report news, not to protect his sponsors. [Editor's note: Nightly News did eventually report this story five days after the CBS story ran (3/17) and their story included some clips of brand-name sodas. However, by delaying this story until Saturday, the producers ensured that it would be seen by far fewer viewers than would have seen it on a weekday. That's another way to protect your sponsors. Also, the Nightly News story included a strong statement of dissent from the weasels at the American Beverage Association.]
Tues. March 13--Someone needs to have a serious talk with Kelly O'Donnell. In her live shots from Lafayette, Louisiana which began and ended a story about Romney and Santorum, she was standing in an empty indoor rally site without a U.S. flag visible. This is heresy at Nightly News. Every NBC News reporter covering politics is required by network rules to have a flag visible over his or her shoulder at all times. No exceptions. What was O'Donnell thinking? Does she know she could get fired for failing to have a flag in the shot? Hopefully she was able to keep her job and got off with only a warning. Although come to think of it, I didn't see her again this week, so I can't say for sure what happened to her.
***Pete Williams did another story about voter ID laws, but it didn't include any live commentary. Brian probably insisted that Pete not appear live in the story because that would solve the prickly problem of Pete dissing him by not saying. "Good evening, Brian".
***Once again, Brian took some time to tell us about the "Spring Fever" temperatures across the country. My favorite part of the story was when Brian said, "Tomorrow might be a good day to skip work or school." That's right--you heard correctly. Big shot anchor Brian Williams just encouraged kids to skip school. Maybe the producers should let Brian do an entire "Education Nation" story on the fine art of playing hooky. How on earth does he get away with saying these stupid things? Isn't there anyone at NBC News who can just tell him to keep his big mouth shut? I wonder how many kids actually skipped school because "Uncle Brian said it was okay."
***Brian then spent 25 seconds showing us a clip from a Univision story filmed at the White House because Bo (the Obamas' dog) ran across the grass behind the reporter. What a great use of news time. I wonder if Brian's producers were having a laugh at his expense, since Univision shows regularly beat "Rock Center" in the ratings.
***The final story was a "Making A Difference" piece about a 100-year-old woman who still teaches kindergarten and reading in Chicago. Less than a month ago (Feb. 18), Nightly News did a story about a 105-year-old woman who works in a hospital mail room. I guess Brian is channeling Willard Scott. If you're 100, he'll put you on the air. Can someone please explain how either of these stories qualifies as news? Meanwhile, on this night, Nightly News did not even bother reporting on Syria. But we know all about the 100-year-old teacher and Bo's on-camera romp at the White House. Great job, Nightly News producers. Keep up the good work.
Wed. March 14--Two stories (totalling four minutes) about the meeting between president Obama and Prime Minister David Cameron were just excuses to show more clips from Brian's interview with Cameron, which in turn led to Brian's 20-second promo begging viewers to watch the full interview on that night's "Rock Center". But the most hilarious thing about Brian's shameless "Rock Center" plug was that there was a waving flag animation behind him as he read it! We all know that Brian insists on having a waving flag behind him when he introduces stories about politics, war, NASA or any other pseudo-patriotic subject matter. It's a cheap way to pander to the viewers and boost his ratings. But now it seems that he's also insisting on having the waving flag behind him when he reads "Rock Center" promos. How are we supposed to interpret this? Is "Rock Center" the most patriotic show on television? Is Brian the most patriotic news anchor? Is it somehow patriotic of him to plug an NBC prime time show (and their lowest-rated show, at that)? Does Brian understand that all his waving flags make him something of a laughing stock in the news biz? He probably doesn't care, since ratings are the only thing he really cares about.
***Brian then showed us thirty seconds of video of the cherry blossoms in Washington, D.C. I thought I was watching one of those new-age meditation videos that help you relax by showing flowers, trees, grass and other pleasing flora. I expected Brian to say, "Close your eyes and breathe. Breathe in, breathe out. Again. Good."
***Time for another story on climate change. Nightly News shows the same basic story (with the same lame video accompaniment) every couple of weeks. As usual, it was reported by the idiotic Anne Thompson who repeated the same things she always says in these stories. One of the ways the Nightly News producers maintain their audience is by scaring viewers into thinking something catastrophic will happen (see all the stories about falling space junk). In this story, about the possibility of coastal flooding due to global warming, the producers once again dragged out their old animation of what it would look like if the New York City subway system flooded. Horrors! I got news for the producers--the NYC subway system is already flooded. Between the urine puddles and spilled beverages, it's impossible to find a dry patch in any of the subway stations. But maybe there's an upside to the possibility of New York being underwater--I certainly wouldn't be upset if Anne Thompson was swept out to sea. And in case anyone is worried about Brian Williams being carried away by coastal flooding, put your mind at ease. He commutes from his Park Avenue penthouse apartment to NBC News's 30 Rock studios by private helicopter, so he's in no danger.
***Brian then had to take 30 seconds to report the results of this year's Iditarod race, because there were probably a lot of viewers who were wondering about that. Obviously, it was just an excuse for Brian to say, "And let's not forget to give credit to those very good indefatigable dogs." Funny how every dog on the planet is a "good dog" to Brian. I guess he's pandering to the canine viewing demographic.
***The broadcast ended with another one of those fawning, obsequious, rah-rah, gung-ho, God-bless-America patriotic stories about Americans welcoming home their brave hero soldiers. This particular story was about people who welcome soldiers home from Iraq and Afghanistan at the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport. It was filled with non-stop images of waving flags and red-white-and-blue festooned people (I counted at least a dozen flag shots). Nightly News does these stories over and over again. The last one, on Jan. 28, was titled "Heroes' Welcome", and was about a couple of guys from St. Louis who decided to throw a ticker tape parade for soldiers returning from Iraq. These are the most sickening and most base type of pandering stories in the Nightly News arsenal. Like most Nightly News stories, they are designed to appeal to the viewers' eagle-soaring, flag-waving, I-love-the-USA sense of patriotism. They aren't news stories--they're just excuses for the producers to show waving flags and people talking about how much they love the good old U.S of A. American Flags appear in almost every shot during these stories, and of course the obligatory waving animated flag appears behind Brian as he introduces the story (in the 1/28 story, it was Kate Snow with the waving flag behind her). The producers should be ashamed of themselves for showing this garbage. But, of course, they're not. Why would they be? Brian and his producers have appointed themselves as the propaganda arm of the U.S. military. Their job is to glorify the U.S. Armed Forces, not to report on them. And they get great ratings by desperately trying to show that Nightly News loves this country more than any other network news broadcast. It is truly nauseating (but hardly surprising) that the producers stoop to this level of pandering.
Thurs. March 15--After Jim Miklaszewski reported from U.S. Armed Forces Central Command Headquarters about Sgt. Robert Bales' massacre of Afghan civilians, Brian said, "Jim Miklaszewski at CENTCOM headquarters in Tampa tonight." It's hilarious and pathetic that Brian is so desperate to impress viewers by using what he thinks is cool military jargon. He just loves playing soldier, like we all did when we were kids.
***Brian continued to milk his nearly-week-old interview with British PM David Cameron by showing us yet more of their "conversation". The story included a ridiculous fifteen-second shot (with no audio) of Brian and Cameron walking up a staircase at 10 Downing Street while engaging in some supposedly intense discussion. Apparently, this was meant to convince us that they are pals. Someone should have informed the Prime Minister that Brian Williams is considered a lightweight in American journalism circles. The story again carried the "Rock Center" logo in the lower right corner because that anemic show needs all the promotional help it can get. Note to Brian: Interviews, like fish, spoil after a few days.
***Brian then took 30 seconds to tell us about the White House state dinner in Cameron's honor. So who do you suppose Brian chose to show arriving at the dinner? Heads of state? Philanthropists? Religious leaders? No. He showed George Clooney and Elizabeth McGovern. Clooney was an obvious choice--Brian makes it a point of showing Clooney on Nightly News several times a week because it helps the ratings. And as for McGovern--well, she's on a popular PBS series ("Downton Abbey"), so Brian is trying to pander to the upscale PBS audience. Oh, and by the way, "Downton Abbey" is produced by a company that's owned by NBC Universal, so Brian was also plugging an NBC property. Well done.
***Later, Brian took 30 seconds to show Kate Middleton playing field hockey to promote this summer's London Olympics. Kate promoting the Olympics? OMG! Brian must have surely had a sexual experience in his pants.
***It had been 24 hours since the last story about warm temperatures, so Brian took a minute to tell us about them. It included more footage of the Washington, D.C. cherry blossoms, which we had just seen on the previous day's broadcast. I guess cherry blossoms are the new Northern Lights.
***The final story was about a man who paints ski trail maps for ski resorts. Yes, I can certainly understand why Brian chose to devote two-and-a-half minutes of his newscast to this important story.
Fri. March 16--Stop the presses! George Clooney was arrested. So Brian spent 2:40 reporting it. Over at CBS, Scott Pelley gave this story 22 seconds near end of the broadcast, because he understood that that's all it really deserved. What is wrong with Scott Pelley? He didn't even show us any footage of the cherry blossoms. Naturally, the Nightly News report included old footage of an interview Brian did with Clooney, as well as old footage of Ann Curry tagging along with Clooney as she exploited one of his visits to Darfur. Because at Nightly News, the producers' favorite subject to report on is Nightly News.
***Brian took 25 seconds to tell us the important story that one in three adult children have moved back home with their parents.
***Speaking of important stories, he also told us about an Austrian sky diver preparing for a jump from 120,000 feet.
***Did you know that Peyton Manning may get a $90 million deal from the Denver Broncos? You do now. Brian always reports football stories as a way to promote Sunday Night Football on NBC.
***The final story was a two-minute piece about the new movie "Hunger Games". Why bother with news when you can attract lots more viewers by showing entertainment stories? I wonder how much Lionsgate Films paid NBC to run this two-minute movie trailer. Oh, and by the way--the "Hunger Games" soundtrack is being released on Universal Republic Music (owned by Universal), a sister company of NBC. So doing a story on "Hunger Games" is also a great way to promote the soundtrack for Universal. So let's recap: Nightly News hasn't done a story on Syria in six days, but at least we know all about George Clooney's arrest, the Austrian sky diver, Peyton Manning and "Hunger Games". Great job, Brian.
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